Saturday February 6th, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL
A rare Saturday night off, and I can’t say I’m thrilled about it. I enjoyed the time off, but I don’t like the way it came about. I was supposed to be booked for a show tonight up at a yacht club in Fond du Lac, WI, but was bumped because the venue went with a local act.
I’m fine with that, but they should have either paid me out or moved it to a solid date in the future so I could have gotten my money somehow. I can’t just pull work out of the air to make up for a show that cancels only a few weeks out, but they don’t care about that at all. They aren’t a comedy venue and probably aren’t aware of how big of a hassle this is.
This is another delicate situation, and I’m usually pretty bad at those. The last one I had to deal with was the bounced check situation at Giggles last summer. That didn’t turn out well at all, and I ended up getting screwed by both the club and the booker who I thought was supposed to be in my corner. They both turned out to be greasy, and it got very ugly.
This situation is a little different. It was booked by a comedian who got it handed to him by means of which I’m not exactly sure. He’s not an agency, just a comic making an extra few bucks. I’ve turned people on to an occasional gig myself, and it’s usually done out of goodwill. I don’t usually take a commission because I figure it will come back around.
I know the guy didn’t mean for this to happen, but he called me and told me I was going to be replaced and just kept saying “Sorry about that.” Not acceptable. I told him that and he asked what I wanted him to do about it. I told him I wanted him to call the person up at the yacht club and tell them I need to be paid and/or get me a solid date for a future show.
He wasn’t prepared to do that, and just kept saying he was sorry. I hung up the phone in frustration and disgust, and it will be a long LONG time before I ever agree to do a show for him again. I was going to fire off a letter to the yacht club too, but what would that do other than make things uncomfortable all around? The damage is done, and I got screwed.
It wasn’t all that much money, but it was better than an average one nighter and I had it already spent when I said I’d take the gig. There’s no reason I shouldn’t get it, and that’s a fact even if I got bumped. That’s not my problem. A professional situation would pay me.
Show business is full of half assed fly by night hassles like this. I’ve known that guy for 25 years, and this puts a real strain on our relationship. He’s not a bad person, but I’m not up for getting boned out of a payday because he doesn’t have any power with a venue that he books. HE’S the one who booked me for this so in theory he’s responsible for paying.
I’m going to shut my mouth and just let it go. There was a time when I would have gone off on both the comedian and the venue, but that’s just wasted energy. Fond du Lac isn’t a comedy hotbed and never will be. Personally, the Fond du Lac yacht club and everyone in it can lick the barnacles from the depths of my port hole and if they ever want to book me again, it’s going to cost a lot more than it would have tonight. But I hope they don’t ask.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Old Friends Are Best
Friday February 5th, 2010 - Milwaukee, WI
Up to Milwaukee today to jump start the one man show idea. I want to do this correctly so I set up meetings with old friends who can help. Ron Lee used to produce shows when I first started and wants to do it again. He loves this idea and has some contacts for places he thinks it could work. Ron and I met up with my old friend Mark Krueger to discuss it.
Mark is an icon in Milwaukee and I bet he knows more people than the mayor. He has a lot to contribute to this project because not only is he well connected, he’s hilarious and a savant when it comes to local references. He could probably do a show like this himself.
We sat around firing off ideas and came up with some good ones. Ron and Mark can do a lot of favors for me and they will. I’ve known them both forever and if they were doing a project like this, they know they could count on me to help. It pays to have old friends.
After our productive brainstorming lunch I went to visit another valuable asset in Drew Olson. He’s another good friend I’ve known forever and knows everyone in Milwaukee’s hierarchy who’s anyone. Between Mark and Drew, that covers everyone I need to know.
Drew had some great ideas too as he always does, but one in particular was outstanding. He knows John McGivern, the Milwaukee actor who does one man shows that have been very successful. I’ve never met the guy but I keep hearing how well known he is in town.
I have nothing but respect for the guy, and am not looking to ‘compete’ or anything like that. When I’ve told some people about my idea for a one man show about Milwaukee the first thing they say is “John McGivern does that.” That’s fine, but why can’t I do one too?
I congratulate John for cracking the Milwaukee market. That’s no easy task. He came at it from a different angle than I did in standup, and he found the secret. Kudos. He proved an audience does exist for local entertainment, but it sure wasn’t in clubs where I started.
Drew suggested I contact John and offered to make it happen. That’s a brilliant idea. I’ll gladly tell him what I’m doing, and hopefully we can team up and make more work for us both. He probably turns down work I’d love to have, and if we’re on the same team I’ll be able to not only get those gigs, but work my way up the ladder and pay him back as well.
I’ve often done shows for groups who’ve asked me to suggest other comedians for their shows in the future. I’ve gotten a lot of shows that way too. John is way ahead of me with this and doesn’t need my ‘help’, but at some point I’m sure we’d be able to trade leads for shows and both end up getting more work out of it. That’s how I’d like to see it play out.
I look at it as healthy. Coke and Pepsi might not like each other, but they make the other one better. Also, how many gospels are there? Four. Is one better than the other? Who can say? They’re different, but it’s the same story. This is similar. John McGivern has his take on growing up in Milwaukee and so do I. We’re different people. I think we can coexist.
It was very nice of Drew to make the gesture and I appreciate it. No matter how it turns out, I will treat everyone with the utmost respect. This is like that scene in the Godfather where Marlon Brando says “Good luck in your new business.” He put a disclaimer in the mix saying something like “As long as it doesn’t interfere with ours,” or however it went.
In theory, I don’t need to ask anybody’s permission to do a one man show or any other show I want to do. I just want to show respect. John McGivern has earned it by making a name for himself doing something nobody before him was able to do. I know how hard it is to put butts in seats anywhere, much less Milwaukee. I don’t want any hard feelings.
I’m trying to follow the Golden Rule too. When I started comedy classes in Chicago, it was something I started from scratch. Then my ex business partner pulled his embezzling stunt and went behind my back and started trying to do it in the same town, and it turned ugly rather quickly. Then a bunch of other ‘classes’ started up and it spun out of control.
Had someone come to me and asked, I could have helped them get started, and we may have been able to grow a business together rather than be rivals. That didn’t happen, and now it’s everyone for himself. I don’t want to have a similar situation in Milwaukee. I’ve been on the other side of it and seen it blow up. Hopefully, that won‘t happen this time.
It’s out of my hands now. Drew sent an email to John, and I’ll either hear from him or I won’t. If I do, I’ll approach it with the attitude that he’s in charge. If I don’t, I’ll do what I do and see how it goes. In my mind, there’s plenty of room for everyone. I’ll make it go.
I had dinner tonight with my old friend Greg Chadwell and his girlfriend Nancy. Greg is a true friend, and I’ve known him since 1982. We worked together cooking at a restaurant called Rustler Steak House on the south side of Milwaukee, and have been friends since.
Greg is a dented can, but never EVER complained. He’s one of the hardest working and most honest people I know, and no matter what life does to him, he just keeps going. I am a whiner and complainer and I admit it, even though sometimes it can be funny when I go off on something that pops my cork. Greg has the right attitude. He shuts up and works.
I needed a place to live in 1984 and Greg turned me on to a room for rent by his former father in law. I ended up staying there for a couple of years, and those people were so nice to me I still consider them the family I never had. They had me over for Christmases even after I moved out, and in fact I’m even a godfather to one of Greg’s kids. I love them all.
He works at a bank now as a loan officer, but he sold cars for many years after escaping from the restaurant business. Greg helped me get a loan approved for my first brand new car in 1988 and I’ll always appreciate him for that alone. Greg Chadwell is a great friend.
People like him make America great. He works hard and doesn’t bitch about wanting to get a bailout from the government or anyone else. The least I could do was buy dinner for a guy like that. I owe him a lot more though. Old time friends are the best. I have several.
Up to Milwaukee today to jump start the one man show idea. I want to do this correctly so I set up meetings with old friends who can help. Ron Lee used to produce shows when I first started and wants to do it again. He loves this idea and has some contacts for places he thinks it could work. Ron and I met up with my old friend Mark Krueger to discuss it.
Mark is an icon in Milwaukee and I bet he knows more people than the mayor. He has a lot to contribute to this project because not only is he well connected, he’s hilarious and a savant when it comes to local references. He could probably do a show like this himself.
We sat around firing off ideas and came up with some good ones. Ron and Mark can do a lot of favors for me and they will. I’ve known them both forever and if they were doing a project like this, they know they could count on me to help. It pays to have old friends.
After our productive brainstorming lunch I went to visit another valuable asset in Drew Olson. He’s another good friend I’ve known forever and knows everyone in Milwaukee’s hierarchy who’s anyone. Between Mark and Drew, that covers everyone I need to know.
Drew had some great ideas too as he always does, but one in particular was outstanding. He knows John McGivern, the Milwaukee actor who does one man shows that have been very successful. I’ve never met the guy but I keep hearing how well known he is in town.
I have nothing but respect for the guy, and am not looking to ‘compete’ or anything like that. When I’ve told some people about my idea for a one man show about Milwaukee the first thing they say is “John McGivern does that.” That’s fine, but why can’t I do one too?
I congratulate John for cracking the Milwaukee market. That’s no easy task. He came at it from a different angle than I did in standup, and he found the secret. Kudos. He proved an audience does exist for local entertainment, but it sure wasn’t in clubs where I started.
Drew suggested I contact John and offered to make it happen. That’s a brilliant idea. I’ll gladly tell him what I’m doing, and hopefully we can team up and make more work for us both. He probably turns down work I’d love to have, and if we’re on the same team I’ll be able to not only get those gigs, but work my way up the ladder and pay him back as well.
I’ve often done shows for groups who’ve asked me to suggest other comedians for their shows in the future. I’ve gotten a lot of shows that way too. John is way ahead of me with this and doesn’t need my ‘help’, but at some point I’m sure we’d be able to trade leads for shows and both end up getting more work out of it. That’s how I’d like to see it play out.
I look at it as healthy. Coke and Pepsi might not like each other, but they make the other one better. Also, how many gospels are there? Four. Is one better than the other? Who can say? They’re different, but it’s the same story. This is similar. John McGivern has his take on growing up in Milwaukee and so do I. We’re different people. I think we can coexist.
It was very nice of Drew to make the gesture and I appreciate it. No matter how it turns out, I will treat everyone with the utmost respect. This is like that scene in the Godfather where Marlon Brando says “Good luck in your new business.” He put a disclaimer in the mix saying something like “As long as it doesn’t interfere with ours,” or however it went.
In theory, I don’t need to ask anybody’s permission to do a one man show or any other show I want to do. I just want to show respect. John McGivern has earned it by making a name for himself doing something nobody before him was able to do. I know how hard it is to put butts in seats anywhere, much less Milwaukee. I don’t want any hard feelings.
I’m trying to follow the Golden Rule too. When I started comedy classes in Chicago, it was something I started from scratch. Then my ex business partner pulled his embezzling stunt and went behind my back and started trying to do it in the same town, and it turned ugly rather quickly. Then a bunch of other ‘classes’ started up and it spun out of control.
Had someone come to me and asked, I could have helped them get started, and we may have been able to grow a business together rather than be rivals. That didn’t happen, and now it’s everyone for himself. I don’t want to have a similar situation in Milwaukee. I’ve been on the other side of it and seen it blow up. Hopefully, that won‘t happen this time.
It’s out of my hands now. Drew sent an email to John, and I’ll either hear from him or I won’t. If I do, I’ll approach it with the attitude that he’s in charge. If I don’t, I’ll do what I do and see how it goes. In my mind, there’s plenty of room for everyone. I’ll make it go.
I had dinner tonight with my old friend Greg Chadwell and his girlfriend Nancy. Greg is a true friend, and I’ve known him since 1982. We worked together cooking at a restaurant called Rustler Steak House on the south side of Milwaukee, and have been friends since.
Greg is a dented can, but never EVER complained. He’s one of the hardest working and most honest people I know, and no matter what life does to him, he just keeps going. I am a whiner and complainer and I admit it, even though sometimes it can be funny when I go off on something that pops my cork. Greg has the right attitude. He shuts up and works.
I needed a place to live in 1984 and Greg turned me on to a room for rent by his former father in law. I ended up staying there for a couple of years, and those people were so nice to me I still consider them the family I never had. They had me over for Christmases even after I moved out, and in fact I’m even a godfather to one of Greg’s kids. I love them all.
He works at a bank now as a loan officer, but he sold cars for many years after escaping from the restaurant business. Greg helped me get a loan approved for my first brand new car in 1988 and I’ll always appreciate him for that alone. Greg Chadwell is a great friend.
People like him make America great. He works hard and doesn’t bitch about wanting to get a bailout from the government or anyone else. The least I could do was buy dinner for a guy like that. I owe him a lot more though. Old time friends are the best. I have several.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
That Magic Feeling
Thursday February 4th, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL
I’m loving this week off of shows, but I could use a month. Maybe six. There’s just too much other stuff to do, and the harder I work to chip away at the pile the less it seems I’m getting done. It’s an ominously high pile. Still, I have to start somewhere so I’m doing it.
I’m still on a high from the buzz of seeing that website template yesterday. It brought it all to life for me, and I don’t care if anyone else thinks it’s cool or not - I do. It’s the same feeling I had after I promoted my first pro wrestling show in 1992. It was THE hardest but most rewarding project I’ve ever done, even now. It drained every tiny bit of effort I had.
Anything and everything went wrong that day, up to and including the truck that hauled the actual wrestling ring breaking down. It threw everything into a state of panic and I had all I could do to hold everything and everyone together. Eventually we got it there and did the show, and afterward I sat in Denny’s eating rubbery eggs feeling like Donald Trump.
That feeling of accomplishment is absolutely pure. It can’t be bought, either. It has to be EARNED. I’m sure it’s the reason people run marathons or climb Mt. Everest and it has a ripple affect throughout one’s life. It builds self esteem and feelings of worth and makes a person feel alive. That’s what I get on stage as a comedian, but it took years to get good.
I’m ashamed it took years to get to this point with the Uranus site, but it did. It’s been a zig-zaggy path with too much starting and stopping, so that’s why it felt so good to see an actual picture of an actual website template with my own eyes. It’s like someone getting a restaurant location picked out and going to see the actual building. There’s a thrill in that.
Then it’s time to get the business going. That’s where I am now. Yes, it’s nice to see the website, but now I have to fill it with products, promote it and SELL something. It won’t mean anything if I can’t make money with this, and that’s the one thing I’ve never had an actual knack for doing. If nothing else, I’m sure going to learn a lot of valuable lessons.
I think life is all about learning. It’s also in ‘the journey’. That’s one thing I’ve learned in my lifetime of pursuing standup comedy. It’s not one big event that signals the arrival of success, it’s a compilation of many small successes and the ability to enjoy each one.
If I had to start comedy over right now with the knowledge I have now, I’d do a whole lot of things differently. Well, I’m starting this venture with the information I have from my comedy years so I will use whatever wisdom I’ve acquired and apply it to this idea.
The King of Uranus is immature, juvenile and just plain stupid. But it’s FUN, and who doesn’t like to have that? All my years in comedy I’ve spent trying to seriously get ahead and prove something to everyone else. Screw that. I’m doing this for ME. And for money.
But money is fun, if it’s spent correctly. My idea of that will be to help others and put it to good use. First, I need to earn some. That’s why I’m doing this. Complicated, isn’t it?
I’m loving this week off of shows, but I could use a month. Maybe six. There’s just too much other stuff to do, and the harder I work to chip away at the pile the less it seems I’m getting done. It’s an ominously high pile. Still, I have to start somewhere so I’m doing it.
I’m still on a high from the buzz of seeing that website template yesterday. It brought it all to life for me, and I don’t care if anyone else thinks it’s cool or not - I do. It’s the same feeling I had after I promoted my first pro wrestling show in 1992. It was THE hardest but most rewarding project I’ve ever done, even now. It drained every tiny bit of effort I had.
Anything and everything went wrong that day, up to and including the truck that hauled the actual wrestling ring breaking down. It threw everything into a state of panic and I had all I could do to hold everything and everyone together. Eventually we got it there and did the show, and afterward I sat in Denny’s eating rubbery eggs feeling like Donald Trump.
That feeling of accomplishment is absolutely pure. It can’t be bought, either. It has to be EARNED. I’m sure it’s the reason people run marathons or climb Mt. Everest and it has a ripple affect throughout one’s life. It builds self esteem and feelings of worth and makes a person feel alive. That’s what I get on stage as a comedian, but it took years to get good.
I’m ashamed it took years to get to this point with the Uranus site, but it did. It’s been a zig-zaggy path with too much starting and stopping, so that’s why it felt so good to see an actual picture of an actual website template with my own eyes. It’s like someone getting a restaurant location picked out and going to see the actual building. There’s a thrill in that.
Then it’s time to get the business going. That’s where I am now. Yes, it’s nice to see the website, but now I have to fill it with products, promote it and SELL something. It won’t mean anything if I can’t make money with this, and that’s the one thing I’ve never had an actual knack for doing. If nothing else, I’m sure going to learn a lot of valuable lessons.
I think life is all about learning. It’s also in ‘the journey’. That’s one thing I’ve learned in my lifetime of pursuing standup comedy. It’s not one big event that signals the arrival of success, it’s a compilation of many small successes and the ability to enjoy each one.
If I had to start comedy over right now with the knowledge I have now, I’d do a whole lot of things differently. Well, I’m starting this venture with the information I have from my comedy years so I will use whatever wisdom I’ve acquired and apply it to this idea.
The King of Uranus is immature, juvenile and just plain stupid. But it’s FUN, and who doesn’t like to have that? All my years in comedy I’ve spent trying to seriously get ahead and prove something to everyone else. Screw that. I’m doing this for ME. And for money.
But money is fun, if it’s spent correctly. My idea of that will be to help others and put it to good use. First, I need to earn some. That’s why I’m doing this. Complicated, isn’t it?
There's Life On Uranus!
Wednesday February 3rd, 2010 - Chicago, IL/Milwaukee, WI
I’m in a splendiferistic place in my head right now and I never want to leave. Things are falling into place in many areas and I can feel that I’m in the prime of my life. That might end before the weekend, or last for thirty years. Either way, I‘m feeling at peace TODAY.
Maybe this is the manic part of manic depression, but I don’t feel that way. I’ve had ups and downs my whole life, but this is different. There is just an inner energy that is pulsing through me that is completely engulfing me in a feeling of confidence, direction and dare I say it - love. That’s a powerful word, but that’s how I’m describing what I’m feeling.
What really put me in a good frame of mind this morning was getting an email from my web guy for the Uranus website Mark Huelskamp. We’ve been going back and forth for a couple of weeks now, and he’s taken control of this project from my friend Shelley who’d been helping me before. Shelley has been great, but I needed to take it to a higher level.
Shelley has a job and family and was doing it to help me as a friend. I totally appreciate that, but if I’m going to make a dream happen, I have to dive in all the way. Mark does it for a living, and he’s the brother in law of my comedian friend Jim McHugh. I don’t trust a lot of people, but Jim I do and he’s the one who set us up. Today I was thrilled he did.
Mark sent me about 2000 different fonts to look at and a few mockup website templates and we went back and forth on it for a while. Today he sent me the final product and it hit me right between the eyes. He nailed it and I just about started crying. It was exactly what I wanted. It has great eye appeal and is what I had pictured all along. It lit up my being.
This whole project has taken a lot longer than I expected and cost a lot more money that I don’t have to pay for things I didn’t want to buy. I first thought of it all the way back on September 1st, 2007 at the Baymont Inn in Salt Lake City. It’s taken over two years to get it this far, and I still haven’t sold the first product yet. That being said, I know it’ll work.
I’ve experimented a little with the concept and have gotten an overwhelmingly positive response from everyone who has seen it. Uranus is funny. Period. It always has been, and I don’t care if they try to change the pronunciation for the kids today. It’s a giant butt joke and there are endless ways to get to it. Now it’s my job to find as many of them as I can.
I didn’t invent Uranus jokes, but I’m going to claim them for my own. David Letterman didn’t invent the top ten list, but he made that his own. He claimed it, and it became what most people know his show for. Good for him, a trademark is not easy to acquire. It’s not something someone sits down with a pen and pad and makes up. It just kind of happens.
That’s how this idea came about. I was in the shower and it hit me out of nowhere but I was smart enough to listen and get out and start writing it down. Ideas kept flowing and I kept writing, and I still have all those notes today. I just haven’t done as much with them as I should have, and I wish I knew why. I’ve been very inconsistent, but not anymore.
Looking at that website template sent electricity through my veins. I actually got to SEE it with my own eyes, and I knew right there I was going to make it happen. I have no idea how I’m going to do it, and/or why I’m so confident, but I just know. It’s a great feeling.
I’ve got a ton of work ahead of me and I’m sure there will be crisis situations and every problem I never expected, but I’m not worried about any of that. I’m GOING to do this, if for no other reason than because it’s fun. I thought of it, I like it, and I’m doing it. Period.
That’s totally what life is all about, or at least I think it should be. Whether I ever make a nickel or not, it’s already been a success. It’s made a ton of people laugh who’ve heard of it and nothing else. I had a Uranus bumper sticker on the car I wrecked and all kinds of people beeped and gave me a thumbs up and even took pictures of it with a cell phone.
What I have to do is create an entire world around Uranus. See? That’s funny just to say out loud. Try it. And guess what? I’m the KING! How cool is that? What does a King Of Uranus exactly do? I haven’t figured that out yet. Why is there a King? Beats me. What’s so great is that nobody else knows either. I get to make it up and decide on all of it. Cool!
I guess I’m getting the chance to be a kid I never got when I was that age. There was all that ugliness and dysfunction going on that I had to grow up before I got a chance to blow all this juvenile poo out of my system when I was nine like I should have. It’s still in there all these years later, and it’s taken root in my soul. I’m having fun just thinking about this.
I had lunch in Chicago today with Marc Schultz. He saw how excited I was, and he said he’s never seen me so giddy about anything, even being on The Late Late Show last year. I have to admit, he’s right. This is THE most fun I’ve ever had in my life, and it isn’t even an actual entity yet. It’s getting there, and today was a big step. But, it’s still not a reality.
I drove up to Milwaukee to have dinner with my cousin Brett. We don’t get time to just sit and talk so tonight was a treat. He saw how much I was glowing and I tried to figure it all out with him. He’s known me his whole life, and has seen the ups and downs. He’s an amazingly creative guy and we’re on a similar wavelength. He sees what I’m trying to do.
The one thing we agreed on was that anger toward the past and especially our fathers is not the answer, and never was. Maybe that’s what’s gone from my life and I’m finally in a position to enjoy the good things of life rather than be consumed by bitterness as I was for a lot of years. I missed out on a lot of good things, but I don’t feel I’m missing them now.
We had a Chinese buffet and it was delicious. Then we went to Leon’s and had sundaes and they were even better. I am realizing that the journey IS the happiness, and chasing is where the fun and adventure in any project is. I’ve now got the best chase I’ve ever had!
I’ve still got bills and rent and troubles and clutter and everything I had before I had my revelation today or whatever it was. The thing is, I don’t care about any of those things at all. I care about bringing this concept to life. My creative energy has an outlet in Uranus!
I’m in a splendiferistic place in my head right now and I never want to leave. Things are falling into place in many areas and I can feel that I’m in the prime of my life. That might end before the weekend, or last for thirty years. Either way, I‘m feeling at peace TODAY.
Maybe this is the manic part of manic depression, but I don’t feel that way. I’ve had ups and downs my whole life, but this is different. There is just an inner energy that is pulsing through me that is completely engulfing me in a feeling of confidence, direction and dare I say it - love. That’s a powerful word, but that’s how I’m describing what I’m feeling.
What really put me in a good frame of mind this morning was getting an email from my web guy for the Uranus website Mark Huelskamp. We’ve been going back and forth for a couple of weeks now, and he’s taken control of this project from my friend Shelley who’d been helping me before. Shelley has been great, but I needed to take it to a higher level.
Shelley has a job and family and was doing it to help me as a friend. I totally appreciate that, but if I’m going to make a dream happen, I have to dive in all the way. Mark does it for a living, and he’s the brother in law of my comedian friend Jim McHugh. I don’t trust a lot of people, but Jim I do and he’s the one who set us up. Today I was thrilled he did.
Mark sent me about 2000 different fonts to look at and a few mockup website templates and we went back and forth on it for a while. Today he sent me the final product and it hit me right between the eyes. He nailed it and I just about started crying. It was exactly what I wanted. It has great eye appeal and is what I had pictured all along. It lit up my being.
This whole project has taken a lot longer than I expected and cost a lot more money that I don’t have to pay for things I didn’t want to buy. I first thought of it all the way back on September 1st, 2007 at the Baymont Inn in Salt Lake City. It’s taken over two years to get it this far, and I still haven’t sold the first product yet. That being said, I know it’ll work.
I’ve experimented a little with the concept and have gotten an overwhelmingly positive response from everyone who has seen it. Uranus is funny. Period. It always has been, and I don’t care if they try to change the pronunciation for the kids today. It’s a giant butt joke and there are endless ways to get to it. Now it’s my job to find as many of them as I can.
I didn’t invent Uranus jokes, but I’m going to claim them for my own. David Letterman didn’t invent the top ten list, but he made that his own. He claimed it, and it became what most people know his show for. Good for him, a trademark is not easy to acquire. It’s not something someone sits down with a pen and pad and makes up. It just kind of happens.
That’s how this idea came about. I was in the shower and it hit me out of nowhere but I was smart enough to listen and get out and start writing it down. Ideas kept flowing and I kept writing, and I still have all those notes today. I just haven’t done as much with them as I should have, and I wish I knew why. I’ve been very inconsistent, but not anymore.
Looking at that website template sent electricity through my veins. I actually got to SEE it with my own eyes, and I knew right there I was going to make it happen. I have no idea how I’m going to do it, and/or why I’m so confident, but I just know. It’s a great feeling.
I’ve got a ton of work ahead of me and I’m sure there will be crisis situations and every problem I never expected, but I’m not worried about any of that. I’m GOING to do this, if for no other reason than because it’s fun. I thought of it, I like it, and I’m doing it. Period.
That’s totally what life is all about, or at least I think it should be. Whether I ever make a nickel or not, it’s already been a success. It’s made a ton of people laugh who’ve heard of it and nothing else. I had a Uranus bumper sticker on the car I wrecked and all kinds of people beeped and gave me a thumbs up and even took pictures of it with a cell phone.
What I have to do is create an entire world around Uranus. See? That’s funny just to say out loud. Try it. And guess what? I’m the KING! How cool is that? What does a King Of Uranus exactly do? I haven’t figured that out yet. Why is there a King? Beats me. What’s so great is that nobody else knows either. I get to make it up and decide on all of it. Cool!
I guess I’m getting the chance to be a kid I never got when I was that age. There was all that ugliness and dysfunction going on that I had to grow up before I got a chance to blow all this juvenile poo out of my system when I was nine like I should have. It’s still in there all these years later, and it’s taken root in my soul. I’m having fun just thinking about this.
I had lunch in Chicago today with Marc Schultz. He saw how excited I was, and he said he’s never seen me so giddy about anything, even being on The Late Late Show last year. I have to admit, he’s right. This is THE most fun I’ve ever had in my life, and it isn’t even an actual entity yet. It’s getting there, and today was a big step. But, it’s still not a reality.
I drove up to Milwaukee to have dinner with my cousin Brett. We don’t get time to just sit and talk so tonight was a treat. He saw how much I was glowing and I tried to figure it all out with him. He’s known me his whole life, and has seen the ups and downs. He’s an amazingly creative guy and we’re on a similar wavelength. He sees what I’m trying to do.
The one thing we agreed on was that anger toward the past and especially our fathers is not the answer, and never was. Maybe that’s what’s gone from my life and I’m finally in a position to enjoy the good things of life rather than be consumed by bitterness as I was for a lot of years. I missed out on a lot of good things, but I don’t feel I’m missing them now.
We had a Chinese buffet and it was delicious. Then we went to Leon’s and had sundaes and they were even better. I am realizing that the journey IS the happiness, and chasing is where the fun and adventure in any project is. I’ve now got the best chase I’ve ever had!
I’ve still got bills and rent and troubles and clutter and everything I had before I had my revelation today or whatever it was. The thing is, I don’t care about any of those things at all. I care about bringing this concept to life. My creative energy has an outlet in Uranus!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Dogging My Walks
Tuesday February 2nd, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL
I have no comedy shows booked for this week, but that doesn’t mean I have a week off. Not by a long shot. I am up to my Adam’s apple in everything and anything that needs to be done and this is the time to kick it in the aspirations and get it going. Time for action.
I’m proud of myself for finally getting back into the walking mode. I took one lap in the Gurnee Mills Mall and thought my heart was going to explode. It’s amazing how difficult it is to get a groove going and build up a tolerance and then how easy it is to lose it again.
It seems like I’ve taken countless laps in that mall, and I have, but today it felt like none of them were in this lifetime and I am starting ALL over again. Maybe I am. Still, I know I need to do it so every day I get out there and make an effort is a positive. If I do have the final grabber and keel over, I won’t be angry. At least I was making an effort to exercise.
One day does not an effort make however. I need to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Then three more days will make a week. Then the next day is the start of a new one. Four weeks become a month, twelve months become a year, then it evolves into a lifetime. None of that can happen without the first day, and that was today.
I’ve had countless first days in the past. I’m not going to get too excited. The real key is being consistent for the rest of the year. January slipped by with little warning and I didn’t walk nearly as much as I need to. It’s cruel. Life goes fast, and I need to make time for the things like this that aren’t necessarily fun. But, heart bypass surgery seems even less fun.
I tied up a mess o’ loose ends today. I finally finished the book “Tangled Ropes”, about professional wrestler Superstar Billy Graham. That guy was a master showman but he had a huge price to pay by taking steroids and ruining his health. It was a fascinating book and I gained a lot of insight from re-reading it. Entertainment is a brutal business on all levels.
I’m also devouring the in depth CD interviews with the comedian masters I purchased from Larry Wilde. I’ve gone through all twelve of them at least once, and now I’ll listen a second time and glean the nuggets and make notes. They’re all packed with information a fellow performer can use, no matter what the level of expertise. I learned from each one.
I put a little dent in my email pile today and also made some phone calls I’ve fallen way behind on lately. I’m not going to catch up in one day, but at least I made some effort so it doesn’t hover over me like a thunder cloud. I’m doing what I can, and that’s all I can do.
Another thing that’s been bothering me is Uranus Factory Outlet. I needed to look over about 1000 fonts my web guy Mark sent me and pick one out to get started. I did pick one previously, but that one doesn’t show up well. The ‘U’ in Uranus looks just like a ‘V’. To really make this work, everything has to be very simple and easy to navigate. I’m trying to attract the masses with this, and for now I need to stay away from anything too confusing, complicated or hip. Inside jokes are cool, but I need this to be a hit with a mass audience.
I have no comedy shows booked for this week, but that doesn’t mean I have a week off. Not by a long shot. I am up to my Adam’s apple in everything and anything that needs to be done and this is the time to kick it in the aspirations and get it going. Time for action.
I’m proud of myself for finally getting back into the walking mode. I took one lap in the Gurnee Mills Mall and thought my heart was going to explode. It’s amazing how difficult it is to get a groove going and build up a tolerance and then how easy it is to lose it again.
It seems like I’ve taken countless laps in that mall, and I have, but today it felt like none of them were in this lifetime and I am starting ALL over again. Maybe I am. Still, I know I need to do it so every day I get out there and make an effort is a positive. If I do have the final grabber and keel over, I won’t be angry. At least I was making an effort to exercise.
One day does not an effort make however. I need to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. Then three more days will make a week. Then the next day is the start of a new one. Four weeks become a month, twelve months become a year, then it evolves into a lifetime. None of that can happen without the first day, and that was today.
I’ve had countless first days in the past. I’m not going to get too excited. The real key is being consistent for the rest of the year. January slipped by with little warning and I didn’t walk nearly as much as I need to. It’s cruel. Life goes fast, and I need to make time for the things like this that aren’t necessarily fun. But, heart bypass surgery seems even less fun.
I tied up a mess o’ loose ends today. I finally finished the book “Tangled Ropes”, about professional wrestler Superstar Billy Graham. That guy was a master showman but he had a huge price to pay by taking steroids and ruining his health. It was a fascinating book and I gained a lot of insight from re-reading it. Entertainment is a brutal business on all levels.
I’m also devouring the in depth CD interviews with the comedian masters I purchased from Larry Wilde. I’ve gone through all twelve of them at least once, and now I’ll listen a second time and glean the nuggets and make notes. They’re all packed with information a fellow performer can use, no matter what the level of expertise. I learned from each one.
I put a little dent in my email pile today and also made some phone calls I’ve fallen way behind on lately. I’m not going to catch up in one day, but at least I made some effort so it doesn’t hover over me like a thunder cloud. I’m doing what I can, and that’s all I can do.
Another thing that’s been bothering me is Uranus Factory Outlet. I needed to look over about 1000 fonts my web guy Mark sent me and pick one out to get started. I did pick one previously, but that one doesn’t show up well. The ‘U’ in Uranus looks just like a ‘V’. To really make this work, everything has to be very simple and easy to navigate. I’m trying to attract the masses with this, and for now I need to stay away from anything too confusing, complicated or hip. Inside jokes are cool, but I need this to be a hit with a mass audience.
Checkups And Hookups
Monday February 1st, 2010 - Chicago, IL
I was all set to get back out and start exercising today when I got a call reminding me of a dental appointment I made six months ago. It’s time for a cleaning and my dentist said I need to come in every six months to make sure I don’t have to have any more root canals.
I’m all for that. I think I have the price of a brand new car in my mouth in what I had to put out of pocket for my dental nightmares the last couple of years. I had a nice little wad o’ cash stashed until everything came crumbling down. That was one of the things I blew it on, but what were my choices? I was in so much pain I had to get it done. That‘s life.
Everyone at my dentist’s office is Russian, including he and his wife. They’re very nice people and do impeccable work, but the sympathy/pain factor from them is nonexistent. It probably reflects how and where they grew up, but they have the bedside manner of Josef Mengele when they’re working. They’re there to get the job done, not to spread comfort.
My cleaning today was as painful as some of the cavities I’ve had filled. They poked for way too long in my opinion, and way too deep too. A few times I’d let out an ‘AH!’ when the lady cleaning my teeth hit a tender spot, but she would say ‘Shhhh’ like it didn’t hurt.
The good news was I had no cavities this time, but I’m surprised I have any teeth in my head at all that aren’t filled already. One thing I wasn’t blessed with is strong dental genes and at this point I’m thankful for any teeth I do have left. I’m careful every time I bite into anything, and at some point I’m sure I’ll have to go back there for more expensive work.
My whole mouth was aching as I left the dental office, but at least my bill didn’t have a comma in it like it usually does. I counted my blessings and got in my car and drove south to Chicago to buy Bill Gorgo his belated birthday dinner. At least he asked for soft pasta.
He’s always invited me over for some of the best meals I’ve ever eaten on Christmases, so the least I could do was buy him one for his birthday. Bill helps me a lot with comedy classes and is a very funny comedian in his own right. We always have a lot to talk about.
We’ve wanted to expand the teaching we do to include comedy writing exclusively and we talked about how we can make that happen. This is another project that will take work but will we worthwhile. There are a lot of people who are interested in just being writers.
Bill is the guy I can delegate things to for comedy classes. Jim McHugh is my go to guy for Uranus Factory Outlet right now. He’s been great in prodding me in a good way to get the project going and his brother in law Mark Huelskamp is going to be my web designer.
Joey Oshey is emerging as my Mothership Connection radio go to guy. He’s been really helpful getting guests for the show and is fitting in well. I need to delegate with all of my various projects and now I’m finally getting smart and lining up quality people in whom I can depend on to help me get things done right. Why did it take so long to figure this out?
I was all set to get back out and start exercising today when I got a call reminding me of a dental appointment I made six months ago. It’s time for a cleaning and my dentist said I need to come in every six months to make sure I don’t have to have any more root canals.
I’m all for that. I think I have the price of a brand new car in my mouth in what I had to put out of pocket for my dental nightmares the last couple of years. I had a nice little wad o’ cash stashed until everything came crumbling down. That was one of the things I blew it on, but what were my choices? I was in so much pain I had to get it done. That‘s life.
Everyone at my dentist’s office is Russian, including he and his wife. They’re very nice people and do impeccable work, but the sympathy/pain factor from them is nonexistent. It probably reflects how and where they grew up, but they have the bedside manner of Josef Mengele when they’re working. They’re there to get the job done, not to spread comfort.
My cleaning today was as painful as some of the cavities I’ve had filled. They poked for way too long in my opinion, and way too deep too. A few times I’d let out an ‘AH!’ when the lady cleaning my teeth hit a tender spot, but she would say ‘Shhhh’ like it didn’t hurt.
The good news was I had no cavities this time, but I’m surprised I have any teeth in my head at all that aren’t filled already. One thing I wasn’t blessed with is strong dental genes and at this point I’m thankful for any teeth I do have left. I’m careful every time I bite into anything, and at some point I’m sure I’ll have to go back there for more expensive work.
My whole mouth was aching as I left the dental office, but at least my bill didn’t have a comma in it like it usually does. I counted my blessings and got in my car and drove south to Chicago to buy Bill Gorgo his belated birthday dinner. At least he asked for soft pasta.
He’s always invited me over for some of the best meals I’ve ever eaten on Christmases, so the least I could do was buy him one for his birthday. Bill helps me a lot with comedy classes and is a very funny comedian in his own right. We always have a lot to talk about.
We’ve wanted to expand the teaching we do to include comedy writing exclusively and we talked about how we can make that happen. This is another project that will take work but will we worthwhile. There are a lot of people who are interested in just being writers.
Bill is the guy I can delegate things to for comedy classes. Jim McHugh is my go to guy for Uranus Factory Outlet right now. He’s been great in prodding me in a good way to get the project going and his brother in law Mark Huelskamp is going to be my web designer.
Joey Oshey is emerging as my Mothership Connection radio go to guy. He’s been really helpful getting guests for the show and is fitting in well. I need to delegate with all of my various projects and now I’m finally getting smart and lining up quality people in whom I can depend on to help me get things done right. Why did it take so long to figure this out?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Goodbye January
Sunday January 31st, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL
What happened to the new year we just started? It seems like just last week we were all jazzed up about new beginnings and wiping the slate clean and everybody was optimistic about everything. We were all going to eat better and exercise and save money and begin living our dreams and nothing and nobody was going to stop us. So who did? Ourselves.
Maybe I can’t speak for everyone else, but I sure can speak for me. I have been halfway decent about doing SOME of the things I’ve wanted to do, but I’m far from satisfied as to what I want to be doing with my life as a whole. I’ve fallen short of my new year’s goals.
This isn’t the first time I’ve done that, and it’s not the first time I’ve been disappointed. Maybe my standards are too high to achieve realistically, but I’m sure not going to lower them any time soon. If anything, I’ll bump them up even higher. I don’t want second best.
I’ve done some good things in this first month of 2010, but I’ve also let some things fall through the cracks. I suppose I could beat myself up for the things I blew, but they’re still going to be blown. I could also bask in the things I did well, but I still have holes to fill.
The smart thing is to do both. Acknowledge the things I did correctly first, then evaluate what I missed and make plans to improve. Knowing me, I need to start writing everything down in order so I’ll have a plan of action right in front of my face at all times. I need that so I can have a constant reminder what I need to be doing. I have a tendency to fragment.
The highlight of this whole month has been my comedy work onstage. From the shows in Eau Claire, WI on New Year’s Eve to the hot show at The Schauer Center in Hartford, WI with Steve DeClark to the club weeks at Riddles in Alsip, IL and Zanies in St. Charles at the Pheasant Run Resort, it’s been a fantastic month. I’ve been happy with my effort.
I also got a chance to be in the play “You’re On The Air” with Jerry’s Kidders too. That was a positive on many levels. One, it was just plain fun. Also, we brought an idea to life from just a bunch of people sitting around brainstorming to an actual live performance at a legitimate theater. That was a huge step, and it felt great to see it develop from thin air.
I did make steps to get Uranus Factory Outlet up and running by meeting with web guy Mark Huelskamp, and that’s coming along as we speak. I saw his rough draft and it’s not exactly what I want, but that’s the process. My other guy Brian did the same thing, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. I need to learn to communicate how I want it to look. It’ll get done.
That’s about all that I really did well this month. I’ve been running all over the place in a tizzy trying to show up for work, and everything else has fallen by the wayside. My life and everything in it looks like Haiti, but at least they have an excuse. I had no earthquake to put me in this situation, I did it myself. I’ve been so busy chasing around that all of my maintenance chores have fallen way behind. Emails are piled up worse than ever, as are a bunch of phone calls I need to return. I have no real schedule as to when to do that either.
That’s why it can tend to get so frustrating. I’ve been so busy with doing everything else that this stuff piles up. The more I look at it the more it frustrates me, but then I’ll have to leave for a gig or run an errand and it goes even longer. I need to find a way to get better.
Another thing that has fallen off the truck is my feeble attempt at daily exercise. Usually it consisted of a lap or two or sometimes even three through the Gurnee Mills Mall, and I have to say it felt really great when I was in a semi regular groove with it. I start and stop and start again and stop again and then it’s like I never started. That’s how it feels now.
My diet has been pretty bad too. I started out rather strong, but it’s a month later and it’s all over the place again. Whatever plan I did have is gone, and I feel sluggish and way out of anything even close to ‘shape’. Again, that takes any self esteem and kicks it in the ass.
There are a lot more things not up to speed in my life than are, at least how I see it. That makes it difficult to get into any kind of a positive groove. Momentum can work for good if things are going that way, but right now I don’t feel it at all. I feel like I’m wandering.
January is now gone, and it wasn’t everything I wanted it to be. It went way to fast and I pissed some of it away wasting time. I’ll never get that time back, and I can either make it motivate me to make February better or let it smother me and squelch any future dreams.
February is the shortest month, and my birthday month is after that. My birthday is only six weeks away, and if I keep up my current strategy I’ll be very depressed and hollow on that day, as nothing will have gotten done between now and then. I really don’t want that.
So what can I do to make this next six weeks my own personal boot camp? First, I need a plan of action. What’s important? At first thought, it’s balance. I have so many things to work on, I really don’t know where to start. I had some great shows in January, but I have a pretty empty calendar in February by comparison. I have a few bookings, but not many.
I’ll take that as a positive. The bookings I do have will pay my rent and gas, and if I can get myself in motion I can make some dents in what I’ve been letting get away lately. I’ve been putting this all off too long, and it’s time to get to work. No excuses, I’m in a slump.
First and foremost, I want to exercise every day in February. Period. I enjoy taking laps in the mall like an old fart, partly because I’m becoming an old fart. If I’m lucky, I’ll live to really be one. If I keep eating lard, sugar and grease, my heart will pop before Easter.
Second, I need to make time to clean out my paperwork, phone messages, emails, taxes, bookings, website, clutter and anything else that is distracting me. I have six weeks to get ready for my birthday and a truly happy one will be if I can get myself back to square one.
Can I do it? Yes, I probably can. That’s not the question. It’s WILL I do it? I wish I had a way to guarantee that one. I intended to get a lot more done in January than I did, but all bets are now off. I blew it, or at least part of it. February is now here. Time to look ahead.
What happened to the new year we just started? It seems like just last week we were all jazzed up about new beginnings and wiping the slate clean and everybody was optimistic about everything. We were all going to eat better and exercise and save money and begin living our dreams and nothing and nobody was going to stop us. So who did? Ourselves.
Maybe I can’t speak for everyone else, but I sure can speak for me. I have been halfway decent about doing SOME of the things I’ve wanted to do, but I’m far from satisfied as to what I want to be doing with my life as a whole. I’ve fallen short of my new year’s goals.
This isn’t the first time I’ve done that, and it’s not the first time I’ve been disappointed. Maybe my standards are too high to achieve realistically, but I’m sure not going to lower them any time soon. If anything, I’ll bump them up even higher. I don’t want second best.
I’ve done some good things in this first month of 2010, but I’ve also let some things fall through the cracks. I suppose I could beat myself up for the things I blew, but they’re still going to be blown. I could also bask in the things I did well, but I still have holes to fill.
The smart thing is to do both. Acknowledge the things I did correctly first, then evaluate what I missed and make plans to improve. Knowing me, I need to start writing everything down in order so I’ll have a plan of action right in front of my face at all times. I need that so I can have a constant reminder what I need to be doing. I have a tendency to fragment.
The highlight of this whole month has been my comedy work onstage. From the shows in Eau Claire, WI on New Year’s Eve to the hot show at The Schauer Center in Hartford, WI with Steve DeClark to the club weeks at Riddles in Alsip, IL and Zanies in St. Charles at the Pheasant Run Resort, it’s been a fantastic month. I’ve been happy with my effort.
I also got a chance to be in the play “You’re On The Air” with Jerry’s Kidders too. That was a positive on many levels. One, it was just plain fun. Also, we brought an idea to life from just a bunch of people sitting around brainstorming to an actual live performance at a legitimate theater. That was a huge step, and it felt great to see it develop from thin air.
I did make steps to get Uranus Factory Outlet up and running by meeting with web guy Mark Huelskamp, and that’s coming along as we speak. I saw his rough draft and it’s not exactly what I want, but that’s the process. My other guy Brian did the same thing, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. I need to learn to communicate how I want it to look. It’ll get done.
That’s about all that I really did well this month. I’ve been running all over the place in a tizzy trying to show up for work, and everything else has fallen by the wayside. My life and everything in it looks like Haiti, but at least they have an excuse. I had no earthquake to put me in this situation, I did it myself. I’ve been so busy chasing around that all of my maintenance chores have fallen way behind. Emails are piled up worse than ever, as are a bunch of phone calls I need to return. I have no real schedule as to when to do that either.
That’s why it can tend to get so frustrating. I’ve been so busy with doing everything else that this stuff piles up. The more I look at it the more it frustrates me, but then I’ll have to leave for a gig or run an errand and it goes even longer. I need to find a way to get better.
Another thing that has fallen off the truck is my feeble attempt at daily exercise. Usually it consisted of a lap or two or sometimes even three through the Gurnee Mills Mall, and I have to say it felt really great when I was in a semi regular groove with it. I start and stop and start again and stop again and then it’s like I never started. That’s how it feels now.
My diet has been pretty bad too. I started out rather strong, but it’s a month later and it’s all over the place again. Whatever plan I did have is gone, and I feel sluggish and way out of anything even close to ‘shape’. Again, that takes any self esteem and kicks it in the ass.
There are a lot more things not up to speed in my life than are, at least how I see it. That makes it difficult to get into any kind of a positive groove. Momentum can work for good if things are going that way, but right now I don’t feel it at all. I feel like I’m wandering.
January is now gone, and it wasn’t everything I wanted it to be. It went way to fast and I pissed some of it away wasting time. I’ll never get that time back, and I can either make it motivate me to make February better or let it smother me and squelch any future dreams.
February is the shortest month, and my birthday month is after that. My birthday is only six weeks away, and if I keep up my current strategy I’ll be very depressed and hollow on that day, as nothing will have gotten done between now and then. I really don’t want that.
So what can I do to make this next six weeks my own personal boot camp? First, I need a plan of action. What’s important? At first thought, it’s balance. I have so many things to work on, I really don’t know where to start. I had some great shows in January, but I have a pretty empty calendar in February by comparison. I have a few bookings, but not many.
I’ll take that as a positive. The bookings I do have will pay my rent and gas, and if I can get myself in motion I can make some dents in what I’ve been letting get away lately. I’ve been putting this all off too long, and it’s time to get to work. No excuses, I’m in a slump.
First and foremost, I want to exercise every day in February. Period. I enjoy taking laps in the mall like an old fart, partly because I’m becoming an old fart. If I’m lucky, I’ll live to really be one. If I keep eating lard, sugar and grease, my heart will pop before Easter.
Second, I need to make time to clean out my paperwork, phone messages, emails, taxes, bookings, website, clutter and anything else that is distracting me. I have six weeks to get ready for my birthday and a truly happy one will be if I can get myself back to square one.
Can I do it? Yes, I probably can. That’s not the question. It’s WILL I do it? I wish I had a way to guarantee that one. I intended to get a lot more done in January than I did, but all bets are now off. I blew it, or at least part of it. February is now here. Time to look ahead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
