Thursday April 21st, 2011 - Sault Ste. Marie, MI Totally different circumstances today. If there’s one thing that’s constant in the comedy business, it’s change. Yesterday I drove 443 hard miles in a rainy/sleety mess to entertain about 30 people. Today I drove 43 miles in bright sunshine to entertain about 300 people. The short drive today will be long forgotten about on the big long nasty one tomorrow. The one today just makes tomorrow’s that much longer because it’s in the total opposite direction of civilization. It will be all I can handle to make it back without flipping out at some point. I hope Kristi McHugh can keep me occupied with interesting conversation. The facility up here is really nice. It’s called Kewadin Casino as was last night’s place, and everything about it is first class. There’s nothing wrong with the location we were last night, but this one is way bigger and better. They’ve got an auditorium where they book a lot of big name acts, and it’s a fantastic space. I’d love to headline that facility someday. They’ve got a wide range of acts coming in from Styx to Ray Price to a lot of the newer country acts like Dierks Bentley and Gretchen Wilson. It seems like casinos are becoming the new Vaudeville circuit in America where acts travel and can make a living by touring. It makes perfect sense in many ways. The casinos can afford both the acts and the ads to draw them in. the accommodations for the performers are way above what they’d be if the shows were at regular nightclubs or even a local auditorium. This is a self contained unit. I guess I don’t feel so bad about playing up here because a lot of big time acts have and are doing it, but I wish I could work in the big room and be a draw. That would really be a thrill, and make the trip a lot more exciting. Until then, I’ll have to keep my mouth shut. We did have a completely jam packed house in the comedy room tonight, but I doubt if even one of them were there to see either Kristi or me. They do pack them in at this joint, and always have. Unfortunately, there’s no cover charge and many of them are just there for a drink and don’t care who or what’s on stage. There’s always a crowd murmur here. The show was hosted tonight by a really nice guy named Allan Gibbs, a radio guy I met at another casino show in Harris, MI which I happen to be doing again this Sunday. Allan is a real pro and has worked in some major markets, but like everyone else in radio he has to take whatever gigs are out there. There just aren’t that many out there, and it’s a shame. This was his first time hosting the comedy night here, and his bosses were in the crowd so I went out of my way to get the audience to applaud for him. This is his town now, and I want to see him do well and keep his job for as long as he wants it. I know how it goes. The audience tonight weren’t the biggest laughers, but they seemed to enjoy the show. I gave them my best, but the whole time on stage I was thinking about the long drive home in the morning and dreading it. Fun as tonight was, I’m not sure if the drive was worth it.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sleet Happens
Wednesday April 20th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL/St. Ignace, MI Snow, sleet, rain. Snow, sleet, rain. Keys, wallet, phone. Snow, sleet, rain. 443 miles in a 1983 Cadillac, much of it on two lane desolate highway can be a long enough marathon without having to deal with the elements on top of it. In typical Mr. Lucky fashion, I dealt with the three magic words that have come to personify who I am - ‘worst case scenario’. If anyone has a tougher commute to work than today, I’d sure like to see it. I picked up the feature act Kristi McHugh who was staying in the Milwaukee area with some friends of hers, and managed to hit stalled traffic pockets in both Lake County and Milwaukee. That was frustrating enough, but I hadn’t even gotten on the real road to head north yet. The temperature was right near freezing and at that annoying temperature where it’s hard to keep the windows from fogging up and it’s a constant battle to keep the defroster at the right setting in order to see outside. Usually it involves opening windows and getting wet. The whole trip was one hassle after another trying to find ways to adjust to whatever the kind of precipitation it was that was making life difficult at any particular moment. By the time we reached St. Ignace, MI I was ready for a long nap. This is not what I wanted to be doing at this time in my life, and it made me want to develop my other projects but quick. There’s nobody to blame here. I chose to take this gig on this particular week, and I also chose to buy the Cadillac. I could have chosen to work this run just about any other week on the calendar, and I could have bought a gas sipping Honda or Toyota like I’ve done on numerous occasions in the past. It just worked out that on this day life was out of sync. I played the odds and I lost. Nothing new there. By all accounts, this should be a springy type weather week and I could have rented a brand new car to save on gas. That would’ve probably come out to close to the same as if I’d just driven the Cadillac anyway, so that’s what I chose to do. It was a little inconvenient driving in the weather, but we still made it. The bigger picture is what I’m looking at here. I don’t want to be driving all this way to do gigs for people who aren’t coming out specifically to see me. Period. That’s not ego, it just makes business sense. The audience tonight was maybe 40 people tops. I can get that at a library within walking distance of my house. Why should I drive through a blizzard? That’s just it. I shouldn’t. I don’t want to anymore, and gas prices aren’t making things any easier either. Surprisingly, I was wrong about the price of it up here. I thought it’d be $4.50 a gallon or higher, but it’s only $3.99. They’re practically GIVING it away. By the end of this trip I’ll have spent $200 in gas all total. I need a paper route to pay for it all. I tried to enjoy the ride and have fun, but it wasn‘t easy because I was so focused on my driving. The last thing I‘d need would be to put my giant rig in a ditch somewhere. That’d really make life miserable. Unpleasant enough, we stopped for a bathroom break and had to use an actual outhouse because that’s all they had. I felt like diving in and ending it all.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Upper Peninsula Angst
Tuesday April 19th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL I’m starting to feel very comfortable with not being on the road so much lately, and I’m not at all looking forward to a long drive to the U.P. of Michigan tomorrow for two nights of shows at the Kewadin Casinos in St. Ignace and Sault Ste. Marie. I’d cancel if I could. It’s a week of goofy routing, with two nights in the U.P. and then Friday night off. Then it’s Potawatomi Casino in Milwaukee which is always a fun time, but then back up to the U.P. just outside of Escanaba in a town called Harris for a very early show on Sunday. It’s at 7pm but it’s Eastern Time up there so it’s 6pm our time. I’m out of there by 7:30 easy. In a perfect world, the three U.P. gigs would get bunched together and then lead into the Saturday night in Milwaukee. That would make all of our lives much easier, but of course it doesn’t work that way. It rarely does. That’s when the shows are, so that’s when we go. And to make it worse, there’s apparently a winter storm going through the area which is never fun up that way. Freeway access runs out just north of Green Bay, and it’s two lane hell the rest of the way north and then east to the Mackinac Bridge. It can get pretty ugly. And even worse than that, I’ll be making the drive in my 1983 rear wheel drive Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham with onion skin tires, and gas will probably be about $4.50 a gallon after I get north of Green Bay. Welcome to the wonderful world of being a road comic. I’ve had to make that drive more times than I’ve wanted to, and it’s a winding maze of danger in very desolate country. I could easily slide off the road and be marooned for who knows how long? It’s undeveloped woods most of the way, and there are maybe three or four radio stations across the dial, mostly playing songs from 1974. It’s a Twilight Zone. I always thought the U.P. of Michigan was one of the only places on Earth I could see a UFO, Sasquatch and a werewolf - all in the same day. If I was looking to lay low from the Mafia or disappear from society, that’s probably where I’d go. It’s a great place to escape. But, in this day and age and especially economy, work is work and not something to be taken for granted. The run pays pretty well, and the people are always very friendly in all the casinos. The hotel rooms are great and they feed us delicious meals in the restaurants. No, it’s not a career maker by any means, but it is a reliable way to pay off some bills. The guy who books this run lets me pretty much pick the weeks I want to do it, so it’s a sweet gig I can usually count on about twice a year. I’m not complaining about any of that part of it, I just don’t feel like making the drive tomorrow - especially in funky weather. But, that’s how it turned out. I didn’t think snow would be a factor this late in April, but in Mr. Lucky’s world all bets are off. I’m going to shut my mouth, open my eyes and ears and enjoy the next two days as much as possible. I’m grateful for the opportunity to work.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Biding My Time
Monday April 18th, 2011 - Chicago, IL/Fox Lake, IL It’s really time to get down to work, and any excuses are falling on my own deaf ears. It all boils down to maximum effort, and until I start giving that on a consistent basis, I will keep wandering aimlessly like I am now. What will kick me in the ass? I wish I knew. Every day I try to get things done, and every day distractions and unexpected situations come out of nowhere to grind everything to a halt. I’ve got a dozen or more projects, each in various states of semi completion or dormancy, and no matter how hard I work on any one of them the more the others feel neglected. It’s your typical 3lbs of beans in a 2lb bag. It doesn’t help in the least that all my worldly possessions are still in complete disarray from me unexpectedly having to move last year and now all my phone contacts have been lost with my recent phone situation. 99% of everything I have, am or aspire to is laying in a pile either where I live or in a storage bin. My mind is cluttered and it’s trickling down. How do I fix this? I don’t know of any other way but to make a plan of attack and find a way to consistently work on it until the plan is in motion. In theory, life shouldn’t ever get to this point of disorganization ever again, but no law says it won’t. I’m really struggling. I’ve left the majority of the big things to wait untouched while I go take care of the tiny things like doing comedy shows around the area. I’ve been doing red hot shows lately but that’s not going to be what makes me financially secure in the long run. I still want to get out and do shows, but I want to have other income from other sources while I’m doing it. That means I have to plan them out, set them up and have people around me that are in a position to keep them running while I’m away doing other things. Right now, I’m only out there doing the other things and everything I really want to do is just collecting dust. Comedy classes are something I think can really bring in a nice income. It’s something I know I’m good at, and have been working for fifteen years to polish both my syllabus and my teaching skills. It’s a legitimate product that a lot fewer people are doing than being a comedian, even though it seems like everyone and their uncle thinks they’re able to teach. I’m still in partnership with Zanies in Chicago, and that’s big time credibility at least in the Chicago area. A new class started tonight and it’s full to capacity which is very nice to see. Bill Gorgo is teaching the beginner levels, and I know the students are in good hands. The thing to do now is keep cranking out products and find a way to duplicate the class on line and in other venues. I’ve got a system, much like a restaurant chain comes up with one and then sells franchises. I’m doing the same thing, and now the fun part is starting. I have to market my system as the best, because I truly believe it is. It took a lifetime of surviving my own dumb mistakes to come up with it. If I can get more residual income to start coming in, I can relax a little and work on the next thing and do that one right also.
Devastating Disappointment
Sunday April 17th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL If there’s one area of life in which I’m thoroughly well versed, it’s disappointment. I’ve had more than my share of high expectations dashed to the pavement with cruel coldness, so when it happens to someone I know and like I’m extremely empathetic. I feel the pain. Mike Preston left a somber message on my phone today that the video footage we shot yesterday with Burt Reynolds is all unusable due to a botched camera setting. I could hear the devastation in his voice as he left the message and I felt like driving over to his house and giving him a big hug. I’ve had that feeling more than I ever wanted, and it totally rots. Apparently there’s some sort of manual focus mode that can be deployed on the camera but an idiot like me would never know that. I assumed it was an auto focus, and since I’ve always worn glasses I wouldn’t have caught it. Every time I’ve had to borrow binoculars I always have to adjust them to my nearsightedness. I’d assumed the camera was in focus. I eventually spoke with Mike and apologized profusely that I should’ve caught it but did not because of my glasses situation. He said it was left in that mode by a crew member on his Psychobabble TV show staff. It was the one thing he forgot to check, and it cost him a killer interview with a major celebrity. Only he and I will ever know it really happened. I had a similar situation happen with me and my comedy idol Rodney Dangerfield when I had my one chance to meet him in Utah in 2001. I’d spoken with his wife Joan who was very nice to arrange a backstage meeting, and I’d brought someone from my radio station to take a picture. It turned out the guy blew the photo, and I still don’t know exactly why. What made it worse was that I’d bought a disposable camera as a backup and before we left he told me not to bring it because he’d “handle everything”. Uh huh. I was standing at the dressing room door with Rodney and we were hitting it off very well. I knew some of the people he knew and I even made him laugh a couple of times. It was a dream evening. That turned into a nightmare when I heard the picture was lost forever. The one who did it made it worse by not telling me until we were halfway home. I felt the same jolt of pain I bet Mike did when he discovered the interview we did was unusable. I feel bad for him. Some moments in life only come once and then they’re gone forever. Rodney is passed, and I’ll never get my chance again. Only three of us know it really happened - the halfwit who blew the picture, Rodney’s wife Joan and me. I haven’t seen the guy since that night and why would Joan Dangerfield care? Rodney was her concern, not me. I knew that. That’s why I could totally relate to Mike’s pain when he called. I heard it come from his heart and it made me sad. In the scheme of things, none of it means anything, but it’s very disappointing to have a once in a lifetime situation botch because of a technical screw up. I know I met my hero Rodney Dangerfield and I know Mike Preston did a killer interview with Burt Reynolds just yesterday, but unfortunately my word doesn’t count. What a drag.
Burt Reynolds And James Wesley Jackson
Saturday April 16th, 2011 - Naperville, IL/Bolingbrook, IL Today was one of THE most enjoyable days of my entire life. From start to finish, I had a total blast and did a pair of exciting things I’ve never done before. One exciting thing is a day maker, but two is off the charts. This was a one of a kind day I won’t soon forget. First, my friend Mike Preston asked me to tag along with him to do a video interview at a place called The Hollywood Palms Theatre in Naperville, IL. It’s a spectacular joint but I’d never heard of it before today. What a moron I am. I should keep up on entertainment trends, etc. This is a wonderfully executed idea of big gorgeous theatres with good food. Seating is like a movie theatre, but there’s a place for a meal in front of everyone like a diner. I’d heard of places like that, but never seen one before today. This was a very well executed idea, and I was blown away by how efficiently everything ran. It’s a machine. The theatre is bringing in celebrities to sign autographs to bring awareness to the public of their existence. I think that’s extremely smart, and this weekend the celebrity was none other than Burt Reynolds. Yes, THE Burt Reynolds of ‘Smokey And The Bandit’ fame. Somehow, Mike got access to film an interview with Burt for his cable television show “Psychobabble”. He’s had celebrities on before, but none this big. Burt Reynolds is a big time move star. Period. I was impressed Mike was able to do it, and happy he asked me to tag along. All I had to do was hold the camera while he got his interview. I could do that. He did some funny interviews with people waiting in line to get autographs, and then he interviewed more people who’d been through the line and gotten odd stuff signed from an old CB radio to the glove compartment door of a black Pontiac Trans AM from the ‘70s. The whole thing was an unbelievably cool event, and everyone at the Hollywood Palms Theatres couldn’t have been nicer or more helpful to both Mike and myself. I was just the camera dude, and they had no idea I was a total idiot. Well, that’s pretty hard to disguise. We had to wait about an hour, but I didn’t mind. We eventually got back into the closed off private area where Burt was taking a break between signings, and got into the office to get a one on one with him. We walked through the door, and sure enough - there he was. He looked to be in great shape, and Mike sat down to do his interview. I made sure they were both in camera shot and double sure the ‘record’ button was on. I sure didn’t want to blow Mike’s chances at getting this interview, and I stood as still as possible so as to keep the shot from wandering. I’m not a cameraman by any means, so I wanted to be careful. Mike really pulled off a fantastic interview. He asked Burt some great questions and he got some great answers. Burt recognized Mike wasn’t an idiot and responded with a super generous interview in return, and then complimented Mike on doing his homework at the end. He totally had, and it really came off well. It was exciting to be a part of the process. After that, we packed the camera into my Cadillac and headed to Bolingbrook, IL for a gig at a place called Asbury’s. It’s in a country club, and they’ve done comedy shows for several years once a month on Saturday nights. I’d done it once before, and there wasn’t a large crowd as I remember but those who did come were there to laugh and enjoy a show. I’d asked to be booked back with a chance to produce a recording project for my friend James Wesley Jackson, aka ‘The Enviromedian’. James and I worked together in Chicago Style Standups for several years, and I’d been a big fan of his before that because I knew he had toured with and opened for George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic for years. He had a comedy album back in the ‘70s, but has long lost the original recording or the rights to reproduce and sell it. I know he’s got fans from his days with the band and he’s a sweetheart of a person, so I approached him about producing a new project of his to sell. Many people have a hard time selling themselves, but can easily sell someone else, and I think I’m one of them. I believe in James, mainly because he’s such a positive soul. I’ve never EVER seen the guy in a bad mood, even when things look bleak and I admire that a lot. Plus, his style of comedy is very unique. It’s quirky and witty and audiences love him. I told James I was willing to put up the money to have a recording made and turn it into a quality product for him to sell if he’d let me be the executive producer and put my name on it. I know in my heart I can come up with something we can all be proud of, and sell it to the fans of Pfunk who remember James from the days of the landing of the Mothership. I’d also like to do a video interview with him about his memories of touring all over the world with such a unique crew, and put that up on Youtube in chunks to help promote the recording project. I see the whole thing perfectly clear, and I can only wish I was that sure of what I’m doing for my own career. That’s all over the place. This is all crystal clear. The audience tonight was about one hundred people and they were scorching hot and on the mark from the start. I did about thirty minutes in front of James, and then explained to the audience what was taking place. They take a break between the acts before putting the headliner up, and tonight it fit perfectly. I went back up and explained what we needed. I gave James the very best introduction humanly possible, and he went out and ‘tore the roof off the sucker’, as the Parliament song goes. I was proud of him the entire time and it was a treat to watch him have his day up there. He looked great, and the crowd loved him. He must have thanked me for asking him to do this at least ten times. He was like a kid at Christmas, and I thought he was going to cry when it was over. Seeing a guy that happy is contagious, and I was absolutely thrilled we were able to pull it off. James deserves it. Mike Preston said he thought it came out great, and I think a DVD will be the way to go with this project. James Wesley Jackson is now a Uranus Records recording artist. I had a chance to live a dream by producing another comedian, and I think it was a big home run.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Wow At The Raue
Friday April 15th, 2011 - Crystal Lake, IL Some days everything falls into place. I don’t know what it is or how to make it happen on purpose, but there’s a vibe in sync with whatever’s going on in the universe and things fall into place without effort. If I knew how to achieve that every day, life would be great. For whatever reason, I felt it today - even though I probably shouldn’t have. It was rainy and cold most of the day, and tax deadline day too. I always say I’m going to get my taxes done before April 15th, but I rarely if ever do. This was yet another year where I didn’t get to them on time, but I contacted my accountant and filed for an extension. I’ll get to them. What made today so fun was a hot show at The Raue Center in Crystal Lake, IL. It’s an old theatre that’s been renovated, and I’ve performed there three or four times before. I’ve always had solid shows there, and tonight was no exception. Everything was firing right. In my mind, this is how it should be every night. There’s a volunteer staff that treats us like royalty, and we get a spacious dressing room backstage to relax and hang out before a show. There’s a fridge packed with sodas and cold drinks, and a table of snacks next to it. That doesn’t cost much at all, but really makes a difference. It makes us feel wanted and appreciated, and really goes a long way with most performers, as we don’t often get those little extras - or at least I don’t. Not in clubs or hellish one nighters anyway. This is nice. They do comedy once a month on the third Friday, and have established a solid core of followers from a subscription list of those in the area who support the theatre. They’re an outstanding audience, and really appreciate the shows. This is what comedy is all about. If it were like this every night, I’d sure have a lot less to bitch about. Maybe I just enjoy complaining. I hope not, as I don’t know how much more road torture I can stand. This is exactly the kind of gig I want to be doing as much as possible. It’s close to home, easy to do, extremely well run, and a lot of fun. The pay is decent, and they want me back again. That’s a pretty hard combination to beat, and I don’t need to. If I had enough places like this to keep me busy for the year, I’d be all set. I know they’re out there, but how do I find them and get booked? There’s really no circuit per se, every place has a deal of its own. Nights like tonight make me feel like I’m almost there. The people lined up to shake my hand after the show and tell me how funny I was, and I thanked them and meant it. I knew they meant it too, as they would quote their favorite lines from the show. That’s flattering, but also lets them feel good by being able to repeat it. These are just plain nice people. I know there are MILLIONS of people in America who would love what I do. Most are exactly like the people who came out tonight. They’re not night clubbers or regular party people, these are upper middle class people with lives who came out to be entertained for an evening of comedy. They got it tonight, and everyone went home happy. This was fun.
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