Falling Behinder

Tuesday August 7^th, 2012 – Green Bay, WI/West Allis, WI

   I’m angry with myself. I should have stayed home and got some much needed work done, but I had to take time off to go see the Packers practice. Was it fun? Well, kind of I guess - but at what cost? My friend Mark and I decided to stay overnight in Green Bay and take a tour of the Packer Hall of Fame because he’d never seen it before. I’ve seen it several times, but I like going back.

   It’s one of the nicest tourist attractions I can think of anywhere of any kind, and I’ve seen a lot of them all over the country. We each got a room at the Econolodge, which was very reasonably priced and made a vacation of it. We had a continental breakfast and hit the Jacuzzi before going to see the Hall of Fame. For $10, it’s a total bargain. There was a line to get in, but we waited.

   I liked seeing the memorabilia from all the eras, and it brought back memories of seeing games with my grandfather as a kid. I looked up the years of my childhood and the teams we saw, and it really hit home how long ago it all was. Childhood is over, and adulthood is fading fast as well.

   I don’t know why it hit me so hard, but I suddenly felt like I’ve wasted my entire life and won’t ever be able to salvage anything useful. Why should the Packers mean so much to me? If I could manage to have the passion for anything in life like I’ve had for cheering for a football team, I’d be a lot farther than I am. What is it about sports allegiance that’s so powerful and long lasting?

   I’ve had that question for years, but I still don’t have an answer. Does it matter even one teensy weensy little bit in the grand scheme of life if the Green Bay Packers win a game? I know that it shouldn’t, but in my world and the world of millions of other cheese heads it absolutely does. It’s to the point now I don’t even like to watch games anymore, because if they lose it really irks me.

  Mark and I sat in the stands and watched part of another practice, and again it was a full house. Most of them were dressed in Packer regalia, and it occurred to me how shallow and stupid all of this is. It’s ok to like sports and cheer for a team, but there’s something wrong with us that we’ve let it mean this much to so many. I’m still trying to figure out why people fall so hard for all this.

   I want to do something in my own life that makes me celebrate as if the Packers had triumphed in yet another Super Bowl. Would I feel good about it if they did? Yes I would, but why? I didn’t have even one thing to do with it, even if I bought a jersey, t-shirt or cap. I contributed nothing to the cause other than watching it unfold on television, so why should that make me feel so good?

   I have no clue, but it would. It disturbs me that I let it have so much power over me, but I can’t help it. Mark and I drove back through Milwaukee, and decided we were going to see Styx at the Wisconsin State Fair. I enjoy concerts, and it sounded like fun until we got to the ticket booth.

   We ended up walking through the whole fairgrounds looking to buy a ticket, and weren’t told it was an extra $25 or $35 depending on where we wanted to sit. I wasn’t about to pay that, and we walked all the way back through the grounds and back to the car and drove home. I wasted a full two days I could have spent working on my projects. Vacation over. Now I’m behind even more.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Seka And The King Of Uranus

Sunday August 5^th, 2012 - Rosemont, IL

   Any time I get a phone call from Mike Preston, it could lead to high adventure. I got one today asking if I’d like to tag along on a remote film shoot for his TV show ‘Psychobabble’. Whenever I’ve gone in the past it’s usually been to hold a camera, but today I received a major promotion.

   Today my assignment was to appear in costume as The King of Uranus at ‘Glamourcon’ in the Crown Plaza O’Hare in Rosemont, IL to interview a room full of Playboy centerfolds, porn stars and scorching hot babes of all degrees. Wow, twist my arm! I was there in half a wink of Uranus.

   I’d do anything as a friend to help Mike, but this was something he could have auctioned off on Ebay and probably raked in some major coin. I was flattered he would call me, and it all sounded great in theory – but I still have no idea exactly who or what the character of the King actually is.

   It’s still in the experimental phase, but the only way to get an accurate idea of what works is to get out there and let it rip. I brought my cape and crown and royal garb and sunglasses and put it all on in the bathroom at the hotel and emerged as the King of Uranus - not knowing what to do.

   There’s another character on the show that goes by ‘Disco Rick’, a slick talking pimp looking character who wears a white suit, wide brimmed hat and enormous sunglasses. He’s a very good guy, but not a performer by nature. Mike wanted me to come along and punch up the funny a bit. I felt a tad uncomfortable for a few minutes, but then I decided to just roll with it and have fun.

   Nobody else knows who The King is either, so there was no pressure on anyone. It was the two of us and Mike with a camera, and we wandered the room looking for people to interview for the TV show. To my utter surprise, nobody turned us down. Everyone was delighted to talk with us.

   One world class babe after the next came over and Rick and I interviewed them with a straight face. Lucky for me I was born with a quick wit, and I was able to crack off a bunch of one liners that cracked the women up. Many of them were just Uranus puns, but they worked like a charm.

   After a while, I started to get used to it and really had fun. Everyone there got it, and it wasn’t creepy or uncomfortable at all. One thing that really helped was an interview with adult film star Seka, someone I’ve known for years. She knows Mike too, and knew it was me in the costume.

  She played along with it, and I was able to make her laugh out loud several times. She attracted attention from across the room from everyone who saw her laughing, and our credibility went up about 1000% after that. Seka has always been a sweetheart, and one of my favorite people. She’s very intelligent and funny, and she’s always been a fan of my comedy. Today was no exception.

   This really helped with the development of the King as a character. I still don’t know the exact way I’m going to pull it off, but getting out in front of people and ad libbing funny lines without a script sure helped my confidence. People love the concept, and it does attract attention. It was a great way to test it, and I owe Mike a humongous favor. Free your mind, and Uranus will follow!

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Star Practice

Friday August 3^rd, 2012 – Crystal Lake, IL

   Nothing but fun tonight as I made my fifth appearance at The Raue Center in Crystal Lake, IL for their monthly comedy night. I’ve enjoyed myself thoroughly every one of those times and my streak continued this evening. If every night were like this, I’d have a lot less stress in my life.

   This gig is a perfect fit on several levels. It’s near where I live, and that’s never bad. They also tend to attract a mellower audience, and I like that too. It’s more of a theatre going clientele, and they plug in to what I do. I know how to tone it down and get in sync with them, and tonight was another example. I could feel it even before I got on stage, and I knew I was going to light it up.

  Comedy is so much fun when it’s like this. I can sense the audience is there for the show, and I have a lifetime of experience to draw upon and I know what to do and when to do it. That makes it so much more satisfying, as I know they’re going to appreciate it and I want to give them more than they came for. I want to make them laugh so hard they can’t breathe, and then keep it going.

   All of the staff at the Raue Center treat me like they’re genuinely glad to see me whenever I’m there, and that’s always a huge plus. They don’t do live comedy often, so it makes the comedians stand out in their minds. That really feels good, and I always try to be extra polite back to them.

   This was a great opportunity to practice being a star, and I don’t mean that in an insanely out of control egotistical way. To me, a real star has a tangible aura of class from top to bottom that can be sensed from afar by all who are around them. It’s not just a matter of getting it done on stage.

   A real star is approachable and friendly - NEVER cocky or rude. He or she is grateful for each and every fan that buys a ticket for the show and never treats anyone who approaches them after a show with even the slightest bit of disdain or disrespect. A star gives it all up on stage as well.

   I totally did that tonight, but in a different way that I normally would. I have a lot of energy on stage, and have always tended to be a powerhouse ball of energy. I talk fast and hop around a lot, and when it works it’s a roller coaster ride. Tonight I slowed it down to about half that speed.

   I consciously tried to stay in the moment the whole show and it totally worked. I switched my tempo, and I instinctively just knew it would work. And it did. I also made subtle changes to my material and switched around a few key words and terms I usually do, and that kept it all fresh.

   I did close to an hour, and didn’t even have to touch most of my biggest bits. I had them in the moment, and stretched out what I did do over more time than I usually do it. I turned off the big machine gun and brought out a slingshot. I loved the challenge of giving them a unique show.

   This was a very advanced workout, and not something the average person would even have the slightest interest in hearing about. Audiences just want to laugh, and tonight they did exactly that even though they have no idea how much work it took for me to be able to have a hot show like this. They don’t care, and they shouldn’t. Their job is to enjoy the show, and they did. I did too.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Skyscraper Foundations

Thursday August 2^nd, 2012 – LaCrosse, WI

   Before anyone can successfully build a skyscraper, there has to be a solid foundation laid first. Chasing a dream in life is very similar. How high one’s success can reach depends on how deep one’s foundation is, but sometimes it takes so much work to lay that foundation there’s not much energy or resources left to build skyward. But without a foundation, any building will crumble.

   I tried to remember that today as I rode for four hours in a car with Bill Gorgo to LaCrosse, WI to do a show at the Best Western Hotel. That place has been doing comedy shows in their lounge for years, and it’s been through several booking agents and ownership tenures during that time.

   Tonight it was both. I got the booking through Doug and Dana MacCraw, a married couple that book a couple of random gigs to make a few extra coins on the side. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I’ve always had a good relationship with them. They’re honest and up front, and they’re fair with their commissions. The gigs aren’t horrible, and everyone can hopefully make a living.

   This is all part of laying that foundation. Entertainers need to keep the bills paid somehow, and a lot of times these kinds of gigs are how it’s done. There’s not a lot of glamour involved, but it’s a way to make a buck doing whatever it is that entertainer does.

The LaCrosses of the world are a much needed resource, and I was glad to have a chance to score a paycheck on a Thursday night.

   Neither side of this gig is ‘easy money’. There’s no such thing in entertainment or any business on Earth. Doug and Dana have to find people willing to drive to LaCrosse, WI on a Thursday for quite frankly not a lot of money. I’m not complaining, but there’s just no huge payday to be had.

   In order for everyone to make out, the pie needs to get sliced pretty thin or we couldn’t do this. The club has to be able to make a profit too, and they have a budget they can afford. Comedians have expenses too. We have to get to LaCrosse, WI and that takes time and effort to accomplish.

   Sitting in a car for four hours used to be something I could do without thinking about. I liked to explore new places, and gas wasn’t $4 a gallon. Now, four hours seems like an eternity and $4 is probably going to seem nostalgic in just a few years with the way the world is going. There isn’t that same spirit of adventure anymore because I’ve been to LaCrosse too many times to count.

   Bill came along because we stopped in Sparta, WI to visit our friend Jim Wiggins. Jim loves to talk about comedy, and we wanted to record some conversations with him about his road stories from forty years of doing exactly what I’ve been doing for not many fewer years. We had a blast hanging out as we always do, and then Bill and I drove to LaCrosse to check in before the show.

   The people in LaCrosse were all very nice as they usually are, and there was a full house in the lounge as there usually is. The opening act was a nice guy out of the Twin Cities named Shannon Thompson, and he’s trying to make a living just like I am. This was some cash in his pocket also. Jim came out and did a fabulous guest spot, and then Bill and I drove home. That’s a lot of work for not a lot of money - but that’s how most entertainers survive. It makes the big dreams wait.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

August Augmentation

Wednesday August 1^st, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   Welcome to the wonderful world of August. This is a month of transition, one of the biggest of any given year in my opinion. It’s the antithesis of that old saying of March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb. March transitions from winter into spring. August takes us into the fall season and the home stretch of the year. It’s a subtle transition, but the wise know to be prepared.

   I regret that it has taken me this long to get anywhere close to wisdom, but I finally feel myself seeing the bigger picture and I’m encouraged. I find myself in a personal August of my own life, ready to make the transition into autumn to hopefully finish strong and make it all worth the trip. 

   August is when most kids go back to school, and that signifies a new beginning. There’s a new level of study involved, whether it’s a new grade or a new level of education entirely. Either way it signifies advancement and evolution. It’s also the month where baseball gives way to football.

   It’s a subtle month, but the transition is there for those who look for it. Baseball is still around, but not everyone in every town is as interested as they might have been on Opening Day. Around these parts, the Brewers and Cubs are both out of it and everyone is looking forward to a football season where the Packers and Bears both have high hopes of success. The fresh vibe is in the air.

    Still, the weather is warm and barbecue grills are red hot with summer fun. It’s still summer in all its regal splendor, but the change is coming and the wise will be ready for it. I need to develop a plan and be ready for both the rest of the year and the rest of my life. I’m having a lot of fun on many levels, but I know it won’t last forever. I sat down today and mapped out a plan of action.

   The last thing I need right about now is more to do, but that’s exactly what has to happen if I’m ever going to take anything to the next level. I’m busy as I need to be, but every day I need to put my head down and keep plowing as hard as I can. I need a plan in place, and then execute it each and every day. I’ve said that before, but it’s still true. August is a month to regroup and try again.

   It’s easy to make big goals in January at the start of a year. Most people stumble at some point, usually around January 2^nd or 3^rd. Then it’s back to the same old half ass way of doing things and nothing significant ever gets accomplished. I’ve been guilty of it myself, but who hasn’t? It’s the real winner who keeps getting back up and returning to the fight that has any chance at all to win.

   Nobody makes resolutions in August, but I think that’s exactly the time it needs to happen the most. It’s one last chance to salvage the year, and a lot can be accomplished in a month of focus and hard work. It starts with a day, and then another and then it becomes a week and then it’s an entire month. If I’m true to my commitment of vision here, I can be on my way to a strong finish.

   This is all a giant puzzle, and a difficult one at that. I do crossword puzzles all the time, and the hardest ones are always the most satisfying to solve. They can be frustrating at first, but then one answer leads to another and then another. Before long, the solution takes shape. Sometimes I will think I can’t get another clue, but then answers start to flow and before long the puzzle is solved.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

A Reboot To Uranus

Tuesday July 31^st, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I used to be shy about talking about it, but not anymore. I want to both be and be perceived as a world class entertainer. I want to be great, or at least the best I can be with the ability I have been given. In many ways I’ve overachieved, but in others I’ve fallen painfully short. I need to reboot.

   Doing what I’ve been doing hasn’t gotten me where I wanted to go, so a change is needed. But where, and how much? If I knew that I’d have done it years ago. This is where experience comes in. I’ve been around the block enough times to know where I’m weak and where I have strength.

   My main strengths are twofold in my estimation. I’ve always been able to come up with unique ideas in most situations and I’ve had the guts (or stupidity) to take action. In high school I had an old Chevy station wagon I decorated to look like the Batmobile. I painted it jet black myself with a brush and added bright yellow bats on the doors and flames on the hood. I drove it with pride.

   Most people thought I was a total nut job, since I did it about a dozen years after the TV show went off the air and about ten years before the movie with Jack Nicholson playing the Joker was released. I had the bat franchise to myself, and there wasn’t a lot of competition for the throne.

   Some people laughed at me, and others thought it was hilarious. I didn’t care about those who didn’t like it, I had fun. If I had to be stuck with a Chevy station wagon I was going to have fun with it. I made lemonade out of lemons, and I’d do it again. It got attention, and I even parlayed it into a picture of me standing by it in the Milwaukee Journal. If nothing else, it was different.

   I’ve always been willing to try things, and more than once it has blown up in my face and left me standing there stewing like Wile E. Coyote after he missed catching the Road Runner for the five thousandth time. I’m never thrilled about failure, but it would be worse if I didn’t try at all.

   That’s where I feel I am now. I’m on the edge of something big time, and if I don’t take a risk and try for it I’ll be miserable the rest of this life and the next. Yes, I’ve been having fun with all I’ve been doing lately and that’s great – but there’s more and I know it. I feel a need to chase it.

   It’s not like I don’t have the ability. I’m not bragging, but I can hold my own with anybody on a comedy stage. It’s not an issue of being able to do it - it’s an issue of getting myself in position to be able to do it. That’s been my major weakness. I’ve been an extremely poor showbiz player. Not only that, I’ve chosen to stay away from the hubs of entertainment like New York and L.A.

   With the internet changing show business and the entire world, I have to readjust myself to the new way business is transacted. It’s a completely new playing field, and everyone has to learn an entirely new way of playing the game. It’s like the forward pass being introduced to pro football.

   In the back of my mind, I still wholeheartedly believe The King Of Uranus has the potential to get me to that next level. Unlike my home made Batmobile, the time is exactly right for this and I am not afraid to roll those cosmic dice one more time. In a clouded future, I clearly see Uranus.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Crystal Cloudy

Sunday July 29^th, 2012 – Oak Creek, WI

   Some days life gets put into frightening perspective. This is one of those days. I volunteered to act as host and emcee of a benefit fundraiser for the family of a woman named Crystal Masionis, a friend of my friend Shelley’s who recently passed away at age 35 from malignant melanoma.

   That alone is unbelievably sad, but it gets much worse. Crystal and her husband are the parents of three children ages 16, 9 and 7. Their 7 year old daughter named Eva was born with CHARGE syndrome, a rare genetic disorder with so many ugly permutations I don’t want to mention them.

   I had never even heard of CHARGE syndrome before today’s fundraiser, and I’m embarrassed and ashamed. It severely disables those who have it, and is devastating to everyone around those who have it. I can’t imagine the extreme horror this family has been through, and to make it even worse if that’s possible their oldest child suffers from Crohn’s Disease. My problems don’t exist.

   Shelley announced the fundraiser on the air on The Mothership Connection several weeks ago, and I volunteered to do whatever I could at that time. I know it’s not much, and I know I have no drawing power to contribute, but I felt the least I could do was offer my services out of respect to a family that has been through hell and back and continues to deal with nightmare circumstances.

   This wasn’t about me, and I showed up in Oak Creek, WI at the American Legion Hall by 2pm to offer my services however they were needed. I met Crystal’s father, who thanked me for being there. I didn’t know what to say other than I was very sorry to learn about the family’s situation.

   It was very uncomfortable all around, but again none of this was about me. As a human being I felt it was the right thing to do to pitch in and help. Unfortunately, there was really no reason for me to be there. There was a DJ and a band, and a very healthy turnout of people who showed up to support the cause. That’s the important thing, and I was glad to stay off to the side and watch.

   I’m not angry I had to give up my Sunday afternoon and drive an hour to Wisconsin. If that is my worst problem of the day, week or month – how low pressure and easy is my life? I’m angry things like this have to happen to such nice people. What did they do to deserve this hell? Zilch.

   There were all kinds of sweet people in attendance, and I tried to be friendly and say hello to as many as I could. There were other families in attendance with children who also were CHARGE syndrome sufferers, and I had to fight back tears as I thought about how horrific that all must be.

   By all accounts, Crystal was one spectacular young lady. She was active in leading fundraisers for other families in need, even though her own world was in serious turmoil. I never got to meet her in person, but if I can leave a legacy half as dynamic as hers my life will have been a success.

   My heart goes out to the Crystals of the world and their families. Life is hard enough without a nightmare like that to deal with. I feel totally helpless, and sad beyond words. I can’t understand why life has to be so cruel, but it surely can be. If God does indeed exist, why does this happen?

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary