No luggage. No sympathy. Life goes on. I’m taking my knocks out here but it’s all a big education. I’m learning a lot every day, but that’s never a bad thing. This is an experience that will surely make me a better comedian in the long run. For now, it rots. This is hard.
Tonight was my three show night, and it was another tough one. The shows weren’t full and that’s a red flag. I don’t think it’s me personally, but that’s always the first reaction in that situation. The early show was very empty, and the other two weren’t all the way full.
The truth is, this is the last night of this particular cruise and most of the people are just thinking about going home. They’ve eaten and drank and partied and seen exotic ports for the first time, and that’s a lot to do for the average Joe. Plus, I talked to one of the people on staff and he said it’s getting to be the off season for cruising, whenever that might be.
I have no idea when the season to cruise is or isn’t. I don’t have any experience at all in this business. That’s why it’s good that I’m out here losing luggage and having mediocre shows in my opinion. It will either force me to adjust and get better, or it’ll weed me out.
As I was on stage all three shows tonight, hoping my borrowed tuxedo pants that were a couple of sizes too big wouldn’t slide off in mid show and embarrass the hell out of me, it occurred to me that nothing I do on stage really matters. I am not part of the big picture.
These people didn’t come to hear me - they came on a cruise to eat like pigs, drink like fish, screw like rabbits and be on vacation. Comedy is just a sidelight, and whether or not I want to hear it, that’s how it is. All I can do is give them my best, and that’s what I’ll do.
Comedy clubs in theory are completely different. People go there exclusively to watch a comedy show, or at least that’s the idea. Many clubs have to paper the room with all sorts of free tickets, and that’s when it gets out of hand. It brings in groups of people who think they’re there just to drink, and once again the comedy part is bastardized. I never like that.
I want audiences that want to see smart comedy shows. In a perfect world, I’d love them to be fans of mine who enjoy what I do. They’ve seen my show before, liked it, and chose to come back and see me again. I’ll go out of my way to give them the very best I can do.
The problem I’m having out here is, nobody on the ship knows or cares who I am. They happen to be in a place where I happen to be performing, and they don’t have to pay a red cent to see it. That alone takes any value out of it, and I have no star power to draw from. That really makes it difficult, and I’m feeling it every week. I feel like I‘m starting over.
The goal is to please these audiences. This will be a hell of an education, and it already has been. I’ve been adjusting constantly, and will continue to do so. Either I’ll get better and figure it out, or I’ll get fired and go back to what I was doing. The shows aren’t the only thing that’s taken adjustment, it’s the entire lifestyle. This has been a big challenge.
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