Monday April 13th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
Time to take a break and regroup. Eight nights in a row at Zanies in Chicago is enough for a while. I really do love working there but that’s enough even for me. Tonight was the Rising Star Showcase and I had all I could do to keep myself focused until it was over.
I’m starting to feel a little burnout after working very hard these last few weeks and I’m looking forward to some time away from both performing and traveling. I need some time to rest up, catch up and draw up an action plan so as to best utilize the rest of the year. It’s halfway through April already and I feel like I could have done more than I have so far.
These last two weeks of performing have been rather harsh. Kansas City wasn’t an easy frolic and neither was last week at Zanies. That last show on Saturday with the wank pole who quacked like a duck and interrupted the show really left a sour taste in my mouth for working clubs. He’s the tip of the iceberg but if I keep doing this it will NEVER change.
Working comedy clubs is the best way to pay my bills, at least for now. It’s taken a long time to acquire the skills necessary to do what I’m doing but I’m at a crossroads right now and unless I can find a way to become an attraction I think I’ve maxed out my opportunity and need to look elsewhere for something to provide some security for the coming years.
Club work is what it is. WORK. Getting the booking and getting to the town and having to fight dirty or green opening acts and also drunk stupid crowds who get in free isn’t my idea of fun anymore. Performing for smart audiences who want to be entertained is what I live for and that never gets old but lately I’ve not been getting many of those. It gets old.
Zanies has always been good to me and I can work for them whenever I need to but they don’t look at me as a draw or a special event. I doubt if they ever will either. I noticed that they put their quarterly flyer out on the tables and I was the only headliner that was not on the list. That really hurt. I appreciate the work but it would also be nice to be recognized.
Maybe it was an oversight and I didn’t bring it up but it was a giant red flag to me that I really need to keep branching out and not rest on my laurels, either real or imagined. I am not cocky or delusional enough to think just because Zanies has thrown me a lot of steady work over the years that they owe me anything. Nobody does. I have to earn my own way.
That’s what I intend to focus on in the next few weeks. I see a need now more than ever to really throw myself into the entrepreneurial game with all I’ve got. I have some books I need to read and some CD and cassette audio packages I need to listen to and start to look for opportunities to build streams of income that don’t depend on me working the road.
I’ve got enough connections built up now that I should be able to at least earn enough to survive for the next few years if nothing breaks. I’m at the risky point now where it could happen any time but I could have health problems at any time as well. Which of these two will hit first - major break or major heart attack? My luck both will come the same day.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Does A God And/Or Jesus Exist?
Sunday April 12th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL
Easter Sunday. What does it mean? I’m not sure anymore. As I get older my belief in all I was taught as a child about God and Jesus and religion is fading fast and I have to admit it scares me a little. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I totally do and I won’t lie about it. In my heart of hearts it doesn’t make sense to me and looking back I think I’ve been had.
I don’t think the God concept I once believed without question actually exists. Is there a super powerful all knowing being that lives in heaven that sees everything everyone down here on Earth does and then after we die decides if we can live up there in heaven or not?
Did that all powerful being miraculously impregnate an Earth chick without having sex with her and then that kid went around telling everyone what to do and how to live better and eventually get to party forever up in the same heaven where that super being lives? If I accept this story I get to party forever but if I don’t I have to fry like a pork chop instead.
I have to admit that’s a pretty far fetched story and the more I think about it the less I’m buying any of it. I’m not trying to be blasphemous or rebellious or anything other than the way I truly feel - very doubtful. It’s the same feeling I had when I found out Santa wasn’t real and also when I found out pro wrestling was fake. This is the final leg of the trifecta.
I would love nothing more than to have assurance of a heavenly being who knows all of what’s happening down here and eventually there will be justice for those who do good. It doesn’t look good for that though and I’m not going to count on it. I think we’re all in the trick bag and everyone is on their own. The good we do is because we want to. Period.
I have been around religious teaching my whole life as have millions of others. I used to really believe it and take solace in knowing someday I’d be in a better place where things are all peachy and I wouldn’t have to slug it out on this wacked out planet where evil is in charge. Now I’m wondering how I was ever naïve and stupid enough to believe any of it.
It’s not that I’m turning against God, I just don’t see that the one they told me about is a real entity. I’m having a hard time with Jesus too. Was there a real guy named Jesus? I am not really sure. The Bible talks about it but who wrote the Bible? Men. Who’s to say what anyone should believe? I for one think it’s not bad to question authority so I’m doing it.
People get very touchy on this subject and I’m sure I’ll step on some toes. I know of one comedy booker who said he ‘couldn’t in good conscience book an atheist.’ I’m booked to work for him later this year and writing this might cause me to lose the gig but I won’t lie and be a hypocrite to get work. I’m not going to push the issue but that’s how I’m feeling.
There are a few people I’ve met in my life who really live their religion. My friend Jerry Agar’s wife Ann is a perfect example. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and she is very big into her church. She doesn’t inflict it on me and respects my space and has class in doing it. She’s never talked down to me about it and I respect her greatly for that.
My comedian friend Preacher Moss is another one. He converted to Islam years ago and I have never met anyone who has lived his faith more diligently. He truly believes in what it stands for and he makes it the most important thing in his life. I can’t argue with that so I don’t but at least he’s respectful about it and again doesn’t force feed it down my throat.
My grandmother dropped out of the Catholic church when I was a kid and started going to all kinds of other churches to comparison shop. I was dragged along against my will so I got to experience quite a few church situations and most of them were pretty hard to get excited about, especially as a kid. There was bad music and speakers that spoke too long.
Then my father stopped being a biker and found Jesus instead. That made me wish he’d have lost Jesus because it made him an even bigger evil snake bastard than he was before. He’d go in and out of ‘church mode’ and say flowery prayers in church and pretend to be God’s number one biker buddy and then come home and beat on us all like rented mules.
I remember how he bought a ring that had ‘Jesus’ engraved on it and was very proud of it. Then he would beat my brother or step mother while wearing it and I always thought of how ironic that was. He was anything but a ‘Christian’ and the more he forced us to go to church the more I questioned why we were there. We didn’t have a choice but to attend.
As a kid I went back and forth a few times between my father’s insane world of forced religion to living with my grandmother who also fell for it. She sent me to a ‘holy rollers’ church that really knew how to put on a show. I saw some amazing performers and some of their entertainment skills were influential on what I do today. They worked that crowd.
I will say I met some very sweet people in those years but there were also some total oil can slime balls who used the church for their own gain. This is how real life is too. There are some very nice people and then there are the snakes. It doesn’t take a church for that.
If someone finds peace of mind and spiritual satisfaction from believing in God or Jesus or any other religious offshoot then far be it from me to shoot them down. That’s what we should have the freedom to be able to do and it’s what our country based itself on when it started. On the other hand I don’t think it’s smart to just blindly accept what we’re told.
I did that for a while and just assumed that it would all work out according to the master plan but now I really don’t know what to think. I think we all need to be seekers of what’s true no matter how different that may be from what we thought before. That takes guts.
There’s a very interesting website I was turned on to called www.zeitgeistmovie.com. It has a couple of movies to watch and I really didn’t feel like watching them but I started to watch one to see what it was like. I ended up watching both and they shook my head up.
I think some force had to make the universe and all the stars and planets including this little cosmic speck we live on but it doesn’t appear to be the white robed old guy we hear of in churches, synagogues or mosques. What’s the truth? God only knows. Or does he?
Easter Sunday. What does it mean? I’m not sure anymore. As I get older my belief in all I was taught as a child about God and Jesus and religion is fading fast and I have to admit it scares me a little. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I totally do and I won’t lie about it. In my heart of hearts it doesn’t make sense to me and looking back I think I’ve been had.
I don’t think the God concept I once believed without question actually exists. Is there a super powerful all knowing being that lives in heaven that sees everything everyone down here on Earth does and then after we die decides if we can live up there in heaven or not?
Did that all powerful being miraculously impregnate an Earth chick without having sex with her and then that kid went around telling everyone what to do and how to live better and eventually get to party forever up in the same heaven where that super being lives? If I accept this story I get to party forever but if I don’t I have to fry like a pork chop instead.
I have to admit that’s a pretty far fetched story and the more I think about it the less I’m buying any of it. I’m not trying to be blasphemous or rebellious or anything other than the way I truly feel - very doubtful. It’s the same feeling I had when I found out Santa wasn’t real and also when I found out pro wrestling was fake. This is the final leg of the trifecta.
I would love nothing more than to have assurance of a heavenly being who knows all of what’s happening down here and eventually there will be justice for those who do good. It doesn’t look good for that though and I’m not going to count on it. I think we’re all in the trick bag and everyone is on their own. The good we do is because we want to. Period.
I have been around religious teaching my whole life as have millions of others. I used to really believe it and take solace in knowing someday I’d be in a better place where things are all peachy and I wouldn’t have to slug it out on this wacked out planet where evil is in charge. Now I’m wondering how I was ever naïve and stupid enough to believe any of it.
It’s not that I’m turning against God, I just don’t see that the one they told me about is a real entity. I’m having a hard time with Jesus too. Was there a real guy named Jesus? I am not really sure. The Bible talks about it but who wrote the Bible? Men. Who’s to say what anyone should believe? I for one think it’s not bad to question authority so I’m doing it.
People get very touchy on this subject and I’m sure I’ll step on some toes. I know of one comedy booker who said he ‘couldn’t in good conscience book an atheist.’ I’m booked to work for him later this year and writing this might cause me to lose the gig but I won’t lie and be a hypocrite to get work. I’m not going to push the issue but that’s how I’m feeling.
There are a few people I’ve met in my life who really live their religion. My friend Jerry Agar’s wife Ann is a perfect example. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and she is very big into her church. She doesn’t inflict it on me and respects my space and has class in doing it. She’s never talked down to me about it and I respect her greatly for that.
My comedian friend Preacher Moss is another one. He converted to Islam years ago and I have never met anyone who has lived his faith more diligently. He truly believes in what it stands for and he makes it the most important thing in his life. I can’t argue with that so I don’t but at least he’s respectful about it and again doesn’t force feed it down my throat.
My grandmother dropped out of the Catholic church when I was a kid and started going to all kinds of other churches to comparison shop. I was dragged along against my will so I got to experience quite a few church situations and most of them were pretty hard to get excited about, especially as a kid. There was bad music and speakers that spoke too long.
Then my father stopped being a biker and found Jesus instead. That made me wish he’d have lost Jesus because it made him an even bigger evil snake bastard than he was before. He’d go in and out of ‘church mode’ and say flowery prayers in church and pretend to be God’s number one biker buddy and then come home and beat on us all like rented mules.
I remember how he bought a ring that had ‘Jesus’ engraved on it and was very proud of it. Then he would beat my brother or step mother while wearing it and I always thought of how ironic that was. He was anything but a ‘Christian’ and the more he forced us to go to church the more I questioned why we were there. We didn’t have a choice but to attend.
As a kid I went back and forth a few times between my father’s insane world of forced religion to living with my grandmother who also fell for it. She sent me to a ‘holy rollers’ church that really knew how to put on a show. I saw some amazing performers and some of their entertainment skills were influential on what I do today. They worked that crowd.
I will say I met some very sweet people in those years but there were also some total oil can slime balls who used the church for their own gain. This is how real life is too. There are some very nice people and then there are the snakes. It doesn’t take a church for that.
If someone finds peace of mind and spiritual satisfaction from believing in God or Jesus or any other religious offshoot then far be it from me to shoot them down. That’s what we should have the freedom to be able to do and it’s what our country based itself on when it started. On the other hand I don’t think it’s smart to just blindly accept what we’re told.
I did that for a while and just assumed that it would all work out according to the master plan but now I really don’t know what to think. I think we all need to be seekers of what’s true no matter how different that may be from what we thought before. That takes guts.
There’s a very interesting website I was turned on to called www.zeitgeistmovie.com. It has a couple of movies to watch and I really didn’t feel like watching them but I started to watch one to see what it was like. I ended up watching both and they shook my head up.
I think some force had to make the universe and all the stars and planets including this little cosmic speck we live on but it doesn’t appear to be the white robed old guy we hear of in churches, synagogues or mosques. What’s the truth? God only knows. Or does he?
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Quack Like A Duck
Saturday April 11th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
Another week of shows in the books. It seems like I was just in Kansas City but that’s a week ago now. Ancient history. There are different comics there this week and they finish up their week tonight too. Then we all move on again. It’s a big game of musical chairs.
It really does get to be a grind after a while. Pack. Unpack. Check in. Check out. Rent a car. Return the rental car. It’s always something and it never stops. Then every week there are new faces to match with names. That’s always a challenge because they all know each other and only have to remember one name but I have to try and keep all of them straight.
I absolutely think everyone who works at a comedy club should wear a name tag. It’s an overwhelming task to even attempt to remember the names of everyone but we have to do it anyway. It’s good business but it’s still very difficult. Every week there’s a fresh batch.
Zanies in Chicago is my home club and I still don’t know everyone’s name there. They are always hiring new box office people or wait staff and they come and go so fast I can’t keep up with everyone. And they don’t know who I am either. It sure keeps me humble.
Tonight we had three shows at Zanies. That’s a throwback to the old days when most of the big clubs did three on Saturday and some even did three on Friday too. That was back when most of the staffs and comics too were heavily into cocaine. Coincidence? Maybe.
Cocaine is an insidious drug and I am SO glad I never got into that scene. It ran rampant when I was starting out not only in comedy but in people my age in general. I saw nothing to gain from it so I stayed away from that and booze too. I may not have made the correct decisions in some facets of my life but those were two smart choices I won’t ever regret.
Three shows in one night is no easy task. I can’t imagine trying to do that high or drunk. It requires full mental concentration and it’s physically draining as well. By that last show I have to really be on the ball so I don’t end up repeating my material. It all runs together.
The first two shows tonight were pretty good but not great in my estimation. Again, I’m pretty picky so I won’t get into the details but they were still solid shows. Both audiences were a little on the quiet and conservative side but that’s Saturday night in Chicago. They paid top dollar to see a show so they can do whatever they want. It wasn’t a train wreck.
The third show was one of the oddest situations I’ve ever had to deal with. Some drunk moron tried to heckle me by literally quacking like a duck. No joke. At first it seemed like he may be choking on food or something but then he kept it up whenever I tried to speak.
The audience started yelling at him to shut up but he wouldn’t. This went on for at least ten full minutes. I nailed him with some lines but he wouldn’t stop. It was just goofy and I didn’t really know what to do after the first five minutes but stand there and try to keep on going but when I did he’d start up again. A quacking duck. A drunken schmuck. My luck.
Another week of shows in the books. It seems like I was just in Kansas City but that’s a week ago now. Ancient history. There are different comics there this week and they finish up their week tonight too. Then we all move on again. It’s a big game of musical chairs.
It really does get to be a grind after a while. Pack. Unpack. Check in. Check out. Rent a car. Return the rental car. It’s always something and it never stops. Then every week there are new faces to match with names. That’s always a challenge because they all know each other and only have to remember one name but I have to try and keep all of them straight.
I absolutely think everyone who works at a comedy club should wear a name tag. It’s an overwhelming task to even attempt to remember the names of everyone but we have to do it anyway. It’s good business but it’s still very difficult. Every week there’s a fresh batch.
Zanies in Chicago is my home club and I still don’t know everyone’s name there. They are always hiring new box office people or wait staff and they come and go so fast I can’t keep up with everyone. And they don’t know who I am either. It sure keeps me humble.
Tonight we had three shows at Zanies. That’s a throwback to the old days when most of the big clubs did three on Saturday and some even did three on Friday too. That was back when most of the staffs and comics too were heavily into cocaine. Coincidence? Maybe.
Cocaine is an insidious drug and I am SO glad I never got into that scene. It ran rampant when I was starting out not only in comedy but in people my age in general. I saw nothing to gain from it so I stayed away from that and booze too. I may not have made the correct decisions in some facets of my life but those were two smart choices I won’t ever regret.
Three shows in one night is no easy task. I can’t imagine trying to do that high or drunk. It requires full mental concentration and it’s physically draining as well. By that last show I have to really be on the ball so I don’t end up repeating my material. It all runs together.
The first two shows tonight were pretty good but not great in my estimation. Again, I’m pretty picky so I won’t get into the details but they were still solid shows. Both audiences were a little on the quiet and conservative side but that’s Saturday night in Chicago. They paid top dollar to see a show so they can do whatever they want. It wasn’t a train wreck.
The third show was one of the oddest situations I’ve ever had to deal with. Some drunk moron tried to heckle me by literally quacking like a duck. No joke. At first it seemed like he may be choking on food or something but then he kept it up whenever I tried to speak.
The audience started yelling at him to shut up but he wouldn’t. This went on for at least ten full minutes. I nailed him with some lines but he wouldn’t stop. It was just goofy and I didn’t really know what to do after the first five minutes but stand there and try to keep on going but when I did he’d start up again. A quacking duck. A drunken schmuck. My luck.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Way Too Picky
Friday April 10th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
I’ll be the first one to admit I’m a nut. A kook. A flake. A wack job. A temperamental ’artiste’. I’m in my own world when it comes to my creativity and I see or don’t see a lot of things nobody else does. To get the good you have to take the odd. It’s a package deal.
I really think any true artist type is like this to a certain degree. If someone is a creative being there are all kinds of ingredients required to bake that cake and sometimes it gets a little bit messy in the kitchen. The bigger the cake, the bigger the mess it took to bake it.
I’m trying to keep my own personal mess to a minimum but it’s still there. I know that I rarely see what the public does as far as my act goes and I have to accept it even though it isn’t always easy. Sometimes I tend to forget I’m up there to make them happy before me.
Tonight was a perfect example. I did two shows at Zanies in Chicago and hated one but loved the other. The early show was totally sold out and they were turning people away at the door. Even though it’s a smaller club that rarely happens on a Friday so I was excited.
I started out extremely strong and felt like I was going to totally rip the roof off the joint but then about ten minutes in I made a wrong choice of material and lost my groove. I had them around the throat and they slipped out for some reason and I couldn’t figure it out.
It’s not that the material I chose was bad or didn’t get laughs or anything like that. It got solid response but not the war whoops I got right up front. It was something only I would be able to notice but I did and it bothered me. I wanted to keep that gas pedal to the floor.
I hung in there and kept ‘playing the hits’ the rest of the show. I didn’t vary much at all and did my tried and true bits word for word. To me that’s BORRR-inggg, but that’s what needed to be done in this situation. I had some guests come out to see me and I wanted to give them the best show I could so I wasn’t willing to take chances like I normally would.
The late show was completely different. It was pretty full but not sold out and they were a little chatty but not in a bad way. They talked during the show but to me so I could react to it and they weren’t mean at all. I was able to work with it and build a unique show with the ingredients they added and I actually had a lot of fun doing it. I was in a good groove.
It wasn’t a career maker show and had I recorded it I would have erased it right away so why did I like it so much? I liked the all around vibe. The audience wasn’t mean or drunk beyond coherence and they were there to be entertained. For the circumstances I felt I was able to squeeze all I could out of them and that’s very satisfying. I gave my best effort.
I know in my heart when it’s going well and also when it isn’t. When it’s right it’s great and when it’s not it’s torture. I guess it’s like prison sex. It’s a matter of perspective. One party is usually having a lot more fun than the other even though both are involved in the same act at the same time. After it’s over each party gets to decide if it was good or not.
I’ll be the first one to admit I’m a nut. A kook. A flake. A wack job. A temperamental ’artiste’. I’m in my own world when it comes to my creativity and I see or don’t see a lot of things nobody else does. To get the good you have to take the odd. It’s a package deal.
I really think any true artist type is like this to a certain degree. If someone is a creative being there are all kinds of ingredients required to bake that cake and sometimes it gets a little bit messy in the kitchen. The bigger the cake, the bigger the mess it took to bake it.
I’m trying to keep my own personal mess to a minimum but it’s still there. I know that I rarely see what the public does as far as my act goes and I have to accept it even though it isn’t always easy. Sometimes I tend to forget I’m up there to make them happy before me.
Tonight was a perfect example. I did two shows at Zanies in Chicago and hated one but loved the other. The early show was totally sold out and they were turning people away at the door. Even though it’s a smaller club that rarely happens on a Friday so I was excited.
I started out extremely strong and felt like I was going to totally rip the roof off the joint but then about ten minutes in I made a wrong choice of material and lost my groove. I had them around the throat and they slipped out for some reason and I couldn’t figure it out.
It’s not that the material I chose was bad or didn’t get laughs or anything like that. It got solid response but not the war whoops I got right up front. It was something only I would be able to notice but I did and it bothered me. I wanted to keep that gas pedal to the floor.
I hung in there and kept ‘playing the hits’ the rest of the show. I didn’t vary much at all and did my tried and true bits word for word. To me that’s BORRR-inggg, but that’s what needed to be done in this situation. I had some guests come out to see me and I wanted to give them the best show I could so I wasn’t willing to take chances like I normally would.
The late show was completely different. It was pretty full but not sold out and they were a little chatty but not in a bad way. They talked during the show but to me so I could react to it and they weren’t mean at all. I was able to work with it and build a unique show with the ingredients they added and I actually had a lot of fun doing it. I was in a good groove.
It wasn’t a career maker show and had I recorded it I would have erased it right away so why did I like it so much? I liked the all around vibe. The audience wasn’t mean or drunk beyond coherence and they were there to be entertained. For the circumstances I felt I was able to squeeze all I could out of them and that’s very satisfying. I gave my best effort.
I know in my heart when it’s going well and also when it isn’t. When it’s right it’s great and when it’s not it’s torture. I guess it’s like prison sex. It’s a matter of perspective. One party is usually having a lot more fun than the other even though both are involved in the same act at the same time. After it’s over each party gets to decide if it was good or not.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Out Of Site
Thursday April 9th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
I need a new website. Badly. I also need several other things but the site was my priority for today. My old one has been down since Mr. Embezzler decided to do his little deal but that’s ancient history now. Nobody else cares about that and I just want to move past it all and start over and be bigger and better than before. He’s out of my life and I feel relieved.
He did put me in a difficult spot with the timing of it all but when exactly is a good time for a guy to have his business partner clean out the bank account? I guess that time never comes. I learned a very valuable lesson here. It cost me a few grand but it sure did sink in.
Actually it cost me more than just the money. That was bad enough but then it got nasty and personal and he tried to trash my name to the people who mean the most to me. I still can’t believe it happened like it did but it seems to be cooling down now. He’s a lazy oaf and always was and never had any passion or drive about anything so hopefully it’s over.
Dane Cook had to deal with his half brother or whomever the guy was who cleaned him out for a whole lot more than I had taken so I guess it could have been worse. Still, it’s no fun to get betrayed like that for any amount of money. It’s absolute torture because it’s so personal. It really is like a professional divorce. I trusted that snake with everything I had.
That being said, there are a lot bigger snakes than him plotting to attack a lot bigger guys than me with a lot more money to steal so my little scab isn’t even worth picking. It won’t change the situation and if I stay bitter about it I’ll never be able to achieve my dream life.
My friend Shelley has been helping me with web stuff and she’s been doing very well at it so far. She’s got her own life with two kids and a husband but she’s not working at the moment and has time to help me so she’s who I will use for now while it works out for us both. I paid her what I could afford and she was thrilled to get it and we’re on our way.
She showed me what she designed and it’s a nice looking simple but effective site. I am so busy with other things I really don’t have time to fart around with a website nor does it interest me. I want to be out doing shows and teaching classes, not stuck in some cubicle trying to figure out how to change a font or cut and paste pictures. I don’t enjoy that at all.
That’s probably what kept me from getting a site back up this long but now I can’t wait any longer. I need one yesterday. I have a booking in May at a club in Appleton, WI and it was part of the requirements of getting booked. They require headliners to have a working website and rather than complain about it I will take it as a sign to get one and move on.
I always thought it was important to have a website in the past and I invested in it a long time ago when not everyone had one. It got me a nice amount of work for quite a time but then everyone else hopped on that bandwagon and it wasn’t unique anymore. It was never my responsibility to manage the site however. That was all handled by my ex partner. His job was to make my ideas realities. It worked out well for a long time and I got used to it.
That’s why it hurt so much when I had to sever ties and fire him because it left me with nobody to turn to immediately. He handled everything and it was amputated overnight so I had to deal with it and move on. Now it’s time to regroup and re-launch a new version.
Shelley is a good person and works very hard. I do trust her but she doesn’t have access to my bank account like the other guy did so that makes it a whole lot easier. She can’t do what he did and I won’t let anyone have that kind of free reign again. I learned my lesson.
I’m also going to back myself up and have other people work with me too. Donna up in Milwaukee who handled Tom Green’s website will be part of the team and hopefully I’ll be able to work with Kerri Coates down in Louisville who works in Tom Sobel’s office.
These are three good people who are competent and honest and understand the business very well. I will see how it all works out and hopefully I can include all three in one facet of this or another. I want to have a backup plan so I don‘t get stranded like I did last time.
Shelley will have www.dobiemaxwell.com up very shortly. I need to get her my full list of bookings and also some one liners she can have flash on and off. I gave her my bio and resume and she’ll transfer that onto the site and so far it looks very professional. It’ll be a work in progress all the time but at least I’ll have one up and that’s a huge step right now.
I need to do several other things too like revamp my press kit and promo materials. I am in dire need of new pictures in color and put some audio and video on the site so I can get some bookings with it. I’ll also start offering merchandise on it and a newsletter and use it as my business base. I’ve been needing to develop new products to sell for way too long.
I’m still working with Donna in Milwaukee about getting a new CD product out. She’s busy with her own stuff and still has to make a living for herself but she’s been helping to get this project moving. She produced or co-produced Tom Green’s CD projects and they are all of excellent quality. I think we can get at least one and maybe two out this year.
Then after that I need to work on my comedy classes and get them on a site so I can use the web to reach students all over the world I can’t reach from Chicago. I’ve needed to do that for several years but for whatever reason it never got done. Thankfully it didn’t or I’d have probably been stung for a lot more money than I was and I would’ve been furious.
Now I’m not really furious so much as disappointed. What a knob shine that guy turned out to be and I feel like I wasted a lot of years of what I thought was a friendship but that wasn’t the case at all. He was never my friend and I feel used and that’s not how it should be. Life should be fun and exciting and I’m setting my sights in precisely that direction.
Tonight was an absolutely killer show at Zanies. Wow, what a kick ass audience. I love life when it gets like this and I enjoyed every second of it. My friends and former students Tony Talley and Ken Rosenbaum came out and we had a dinner at Flat Top Grille before the show and that was fantastic too. I love days like this when so many things get done.
I need a new website. Badly. I also need several other things but the site was my priority for today. My old one has been down since Mr. Embezzler decided to do his little deal but that’s ancient history now. Nobody else cares about that and I just want to move past it all and start over and be bigger and better than before. He’s out of my life and I feel relieved.
He did put me in a difficult spot with the timing of it all but when exactly is a good time for a guy to have his business partner clean out the bank account? I guess that time never comes. I learned a very valuable lesson here. It cost me a few grand but it sure did sink in.
Actually it cost me more than just the money. That was bad enough but then it got nasty and personal and he tried to trash my name to the people who mean the most to me. I still can’t believe it happened like it did but it seems to be cooling down now. He’s a lazy oaf and always was and never had any passion or drive about anything so hopefully it’s over.
Dane Cook had to deal with his half brother or whomever the guy was who cleaned him out for a whole lot more than I had taken so I guess it could have been worse. Still, it’s no fun to get betrayed like that for any amount of money. It’s absolute torture because it’s so personal. It really is like a professional divorce. I trusted that snake with everything I had.
That being said, there are a lot bigger snakes than him plotting to attack a lot bigger guys than me with a lot more money to steal so my little scab isn’t even worth picking. It won’t change the situation and if I stay bitter about it I’ll never be able to achieve my dream life.
My friend Shelley has been helping me with web stuff and she’s been doing very well at it so far. She’s got her own life with two kids and a husband but she’s not working at the moment and has time to help me so she’s who I will use for now while it works out for us both. I paid her what I could afford and she was thrilled to get it and we’re on our way.
She showed me what she designed and it’s a nice looking simple but effective site. I am so busy with other things I really don’t have time to fart around with a website nor does it interest me. I want to be out doing shows and teaching classes, not stuck in some cubicle trying to figure out how to change a font or cut and paste pictures. I don’t enjoy that at all.
That’s probably what kept me from getting a site back up this long but now I can’t wait any longer. I need one yesterday. I have a booking in May at a club in Appleton, WI and it was part of the requirements of getting booked. They require headliners to have a working website and rather than complain about it I will take it as a sign to get one and move on.
I always thought it was important to have a website in the past and I invested in it a long time ago when not everyone had one. It got me a nice amount of work for quite a time but then everyone else hopped on that bandwagon and it wasn’t unique anymore. It was never my responsibility to manage the site however. That was all handled by my ex partner. His job was to make my ideas realities. It worked out well for a long time and I got used to it.
That’s why it hurt so much when I had to sever ties and fire him because it left me with nobody to turn to immediately. He handled everything and it was amputated overnight so I had to deal with it and move on. Now it’s time to regroup and re-launch a new version.
Shelley is a good person and works very hard. I do trust her but she doesn’t have access to my bank account like the other guy did so that makes it a whole lot easier. She can’t do what he did and I won’t let anyone have that kind of free reign again. I learned my lesson.
I’m also going to back myself up and have other people work with me too. Donna up in Milwaukee who handled Tom Green’s website will be part of the team and hopefully I’ll be able to work with Kerri Coates down in Louisville who works in Tom Sobel’s office.
These are three good people who are competent and honest and understand the business very well. I will see how it all works out and hopefully I can include all three in one facet of this or another. I want to have a backup plan so I don‘t get stranded like I did last time.
Shelley will have www.dobiemaxwell.com up very shortly. I need to get her my full list of bookings and also some one liners she can have flash on and off. I gave her my bio and resume and she’ll transfer that onto the site and so far it looks very professional. It’ll be a work in progress all the time but at least I’ll have one up and that’s a huge step right now.
I need to do several other things too like revamp my press kit and promo materials. I am in dire need of new pictures in color and put some audio and video on the site so I can get some bookings with it. I’ll also start offering merchandise on it and a newsletter and use it as my business base. I’ve been needing to develop new products to sell for way too long.
I’m still working with Donna in Milwaukee about getting a new CD product out. She’s busy with her own stuff and still has to make a living for herself but she’s been helping to get this project moving. She produced or co-produced Tom Green’s CD projects and they are all of excellent quality. I think we can get at least one and maybe two out this year.
Then after that I need to work on my comedy classes and get them on a site so I can use the web to reach students all over the world I can’t reach from Chicago. I’ve needed to do that for several years but for whatever reason it never got done. Thankfully it didn’t or I’d have probably been stung for a lot more money than I was and I would’ve been furious.
Now I’m not really furious so much as disappointed. What a knob shine that guy turned out to be and I feel like I wasted a lot of years of what I thought was a friendship but that wasn’t the case at all. He was never my friend and I feel used and that’s not how it should be. Life should be fun and exciting and I’m setting my sights in precisely that direction.
Tonight was an absolutely killer show at Zanies. Wow, what a kick ass audience. I love life when it gets like this and I enjoyed every second of it. My friends and former students Tony Talley and Ken Rosenbaum came out and we had a dinner at Flat Top Grille before the show and that was fantastic too. I love days like this when so many things get done.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Business Of The Business
Wednesday April 8th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
Most people have no idea just how many different facets it takes to be successful in the comedy business. And that’s exactly what it is too - a BUSINESS. It isn’t just a matter of being funny and in fact I’ve always said funny is one of the least important requirements.
There are a lot of very funny people who never make it past a certain level because their business skills are lacking. There are also many others who aren’t very funny at all but are whiz kids when it comes to doing what’s required to put them out in front of the public.
Being a comedian requires wearing a lot of different hats. We’re performers yes, but we are also writers and sales people and promoters and travel agents and marketers too. That puts everyone in the trick bag because nobody is good at everything and something out of all those things is usually sorely lacking. That’s why most comedians seek representation.
There is a myth that once a comic is signed by a management company all the problems disappear. I don’t know why people think that way but I’ve seen it over and over. I hear a comic say ‘If I can only get a manager I’ll be on my way.’ I don’t think that’s the answer.
Colonel Parker may have helped Elvis in a lot of ways but I think he hurt his career too. Having management is like a professional marriage. It’s a partnership. There has to be an understanding that both parties need to come together and agree on a shared action plan.
I’ll be the first to admit my business skills have been pretty horrible. I’m not at all alone in that department unfortunately. There are a lot of people I know personally that are even worse than me and in fact look up to me for my ‘business acumen’. That frightens me. If I am the role model of someone’s business plan the whole business is in a very sad state.
I’m really trying to get better at it as I get older and I’ve made great strides from where I started but I still have a long way to go. At this point I am too busy working to plan career moves and it’s a common problem for many of us. We’re wearing too many hats at once.
One of the things I am going to do as a part of my comedy class is come up with a solid blueprint of what to do business wise in addition to the comedy part of the business which is an entirely separate thing. Most of us never think about it at all until it’s way too late.
If I had the knowledge I have now when I started I’d be in a way better position but that is part of life in general. A lot of ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ situations face us all. I am still in the game though and the most important thing is that I am attempting to make a change of direction. I know I’m weak at the off stage end of this business and I need to improve.
A big part of show or any other business is networking. I’ve been painfully weak at that over the years so today I made an effort to begin changing. I signed up to be a member of the Lake County Convention & Visitors Bureau for a year. It cost me $300 but it‘s a good networking opportunity so I risked it. Now I have to get some work and make it pay off.
Most people have no idea just how many different facets it takes to be successful in the comedy business. And that’s exactly what it is too - a BUSINESS. It isn’t just a matter of being funny and in fact I’ve always said funny is one of the least important requirements.
There are a lot of very funny people who never make it past a certain level because their business skills are lacking. There are also many others who aren’t very funny at all but are whiz kids when it comes to doing what’s required to put them out in front of the public.
Being a comedian requires wearing a lot of different hats. We’re performers yes, but we are also writers and sales people and promoters and travel agents and marketers too. That puts everyone in the trick bag because nobody is good at everything and something out of all those things is usually sorely lacking. That’s why most comedians seek representation.
There is a myth that once a comic is signed by a management company all the problems disappear. I don’t know why people think that way but I’ve seen it over and over. I hear a comic say ‘If I can only get a manager I’ll be on my way.’ I don’t think that’s the answer.
Colonel Parker may have helped Elvis in a lot of ways but I think he hurt his career too. Having management is like a professional marriage. It’s a partnership. There has to be an understanding that both parties need to come together and agree on a shared action plan.
I’ll be the first to admit my business skills have been pretty horrible. I’m not at all alone in that department unfortunately. There are a lot of people I know personally that are even worse than me and in fact look up to me for my ‘business acumen’. That frightens me. If I am the role model of someone’s business plan the whole business is in a very sad state.
I’m really trying to get better at it as I get older and I’ve made great strides from where I started but I still have a long way to go. At this point I am too busy working to plan career moves and it’s a common problem for many of us. We’re wearing too many hats at once.
One of the things I am going to do as a part of my comedy class is come up with a solid blueprint of what to do business wise in addition to the comedy part of the business which is an entirely separate thing. Most of us never think about it at all until it’s way too late.
If I had the knowledge I have now when I started I’d be in a way better position but that is part of life in general. A lot of ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ situations face us all. I am still in the game though and the most important thing is that I am attempting to make a change of direction. I know I’m weak at the off stage end of this business and I need to improve.
A big part of show or any other business is networking. I’ve been painfully weak at that over the years so today I made an effort to begin changing. I signed up to be a member of the Lake County Convention & Visitors Bureau for a year. It cost me $300 but it‘s a good networking opportunity so I risked it. Now I have to get some work and make it pay off.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Eddie Brill Audition
Tuesday April 7th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
I can feel I’m making progress. I had yet another audition tonight in front of Eddie Brill who books the comedians for the David Letterman show and I totally took it in the shorts. Absolutely horrible. Six minute set. Five minutes of silence. To make it even worse I had a big brain blip and forgot my order and some new bits too. After all that I still feel great.
THAT’S progress. At one time having a set like that would have sent me into a funk but not tonight. Not in the least. I’m in a fantastic mood right now and realize the reasons that I didn’t have a strong showing were mostly out of my control. I also realized that I’m just not that good at auditioning. I’ve been too busy headlining to develop a solid audition set.
It’s kind of like the major league baseball player who can’t bunt. He may hit home runs in droves but a seemingly simple skill like bunting gets overlooked. Why? It isn‘t sexy to bunt. Chicks dig the long ball. Bunters make minimum wage. That’s how it is and there’s a similar formula in comedy. Headliners get paid. Auditions are for trying to get paid.
I make a living as a headliner in comedy clubs. Way more often than not I’m able to get laughs out loud from a room full (or sometimes not so full) of strangers several times in a minute for 45 minutes or more. That’s a skill level precious few people will ever achieve.
I’m not bragging about that, I’m just saying. There is a completely different energy that is put out in a headline club set than is required to be successful on television. I just went through a lot of this as the Late Late Show scenario unfolded and I’m familiar with how it works now. Some comics translate well on TV. Some don’t. Do I? It remains to be seen.
When my set airs I’ll see what my reaction will be but the fact is I’ve experienced it and nothing else can compare. I’ve auditioned for Eddie before tonight and he’s one of the big reasons I think I was able to pull off a good set on the Late Late Show. I am not too proud to take criticism and Eddie took time to lay some golden nuggets on me. I chose to listen.
I try to be the same way with my students. I don’t talk down to them and I try to offer an idea or two that will hopefully help them immediately. I’m like the sports coach that helps an athlete by pointing out mistakes the athlete doesn’t see. Many times newer comics who open for me can be rather green so I try to patiently offer them up some helpful insights.
That’s what Eddie did the first time I auditioned for him and I totally appreciated it. My audition skills are shaky at best and I really had no idea what I was doing but he sat us all down and if we chose to hear his critiques he gave them. Some of the other comics didn’t like it but I could feel that it wasn’t done out of anything other than wanting to help us.
I took what he said to heart and used it to shape my set for the Late Late show. It helped give me an idea of how to structure what to include and what not to. I never had to do the same audition process to get that show and if I did I might not have gotten it. This is a bit late in the game for me to be learning how to audition but it’s a weak point and I admit it.
I absolutely WILL get better at it though and I already have. Tonight’s show was not my best showing but at least I was not nearly as nervous as I have been in the past. I was a bit tight because Eddie Brill was in the room but then I thought of how I’ve heard quite a few of my former students tell me they get that way when I’M in the room. That shocked me.
That’s the last reaction I want. I’m there to cheer them on and I want them to go up and inflict punishment on the audience in a good way. I believe it’s the same with Eddie Brill. His job is to FIND comedians, not ignore them. He wants us to be good. I think too many comics get the idea he or anyone in a similar position is out to be an obstacle in their path.
The exact opposite is true. Eddie Brill is very encouraging and it really helps that he’s a comic himself. It’s not necessary though. Celia Joseph is the talent booker I dealt with for the Late Late Show and she was a sweetheart of epic proportions and super to deal with. I could feel she really cared and was very nice. What Celia and Eddie both share is warmth.
Eddie made it a point to come over to me tonight and shake my hand and say how much he appreciated me sending him a thank you letter after my taping. I told him I meant it all and I totally did. His face lit up and he said it made his day and that in turn made my day. He gets hundreds if not thousands of comics sending him stuff and he remembered ME!
That really made me feel good and I knew right then that I’m starting to arrive. Whether I get on David Letterman doesn’t matter at this point. Yes, I’d love to. Who wouldn’t? He is a TV icon and I’d cherish the opportunity but in reality it really doesn’t matter at all.
What matters is that Eddie remembered me and made it a point to come over and say hi before the show. He is also friends with my good friend Ross Bennett who I have always thought the world of and if he and Ross are friends that says it all. He‘s gold in my book.
Tonight’s audition wasn’t for the David Letterman show per se. There’s a festival going on in Johnny Carson’s home town in Nebraska and Eddie is out looking for comics to put in it. I’d love to do it and I’m grateful Bert Haas from Zanies gave me a shot to audition.
If I was going to have a rough audition set tonight was it. Bert knows me about as well as anyone and I’m the headliner at Zanies this week. He knows what I can do and he said I didn’t do as badly as I thought I did. I’ll take his word for it but I felt like I ate a bullet.
If Bert didn’t know me I’d be worried. But he does. And he’s still going to book me as a headliner. Eddie Brill is starting to know me. This won’t kill me with him. He knows how it is because he’s a comic too. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if I got a booking but even if I don’t I still respect the guy. He‘s a pro and he has a heart. That‘s rare. I try to be the same.
It’s never fun to have a bad set but this one is already history. I know what I did and it’s totally fixable. I will continue to develop a strong four to six minute set that I’ll be able to use for both auditioning and a future TV set too. It’s only been a little under a month so it was stupid of me to even think about trying to pull it off. Live and learn. I‘ll bounce back.
I can feel I’m making progress. I had yet another audition tonight in front of Eddie Brill who books the comedians for the David Letterman show and I totally took it in the shorts. Absolutely horrible. Six minute set. Five minutes of silence. To make it even worse I had a big brain blip and forgot my order and some new bits too. After all that I still feel great.
THAT’S progress. At one time having a set like that would have sent me into a funk but not tonight. Not in the least. I’m in a fantastic mood right now and realize the reasons that I didn’t have a strong showing were mostly out of my control. I also realized that I’m just not that good at auditioning. I’ve been too busy headlining to develop a solid audition set.
It’s kind of like the major league baseball player who can’t bunt. He may hit home runs in droves but a seemingly simple skill like bunting gets overlooked. Why? It isn‘t sexy to bunt. Chicks dig the long ball. Bunters make minimum wage. That’s how it is and there’s a similar formula in comedy. Headliners get paid. Auditions are for trying to get paid.
I make a living as a headliner in comedy clubs. Way more often than not I’m able to get laughs out loud from a room full (or sometimes not so full) of strangers several times in a minute for 45 minutes or more. That’s a skill level precious few people will ever achieve.
I’m not bragging about that, I’m just saying. There is a completely different energy that is put out in a headline club set than is required to be successful on television. I just went through a lot of this as the Late Late Show scenario unfolded and I’m familiar with how it works now. Some comics translate well on TV. Some don’t. Do I? It remains to be seen.
When my set airs I’ll see what my reaction will be but the fact is I’ve experienced it and nothing else can compare. I’ve auditioned for Eddie before tonight and he’s one of the big reasons I think I was able to pull off a good set on the Late Late Show. I am not too proud to take criticism and Eddie took time to lay some golden nuggets on me. I chose to listen.
I try to be the same way with my students. I don’t talk down to them and I try to offer an idea or two that will hopefully help them immediately. I’m like the sports coach that helps an athlete by pointing out mistakes the athlete doesn’t see. Many times newer comics who open for me can be rather green so I try to patiently offer them up some helpful insights.
That’s what Eddie did the first time I auditioned for him and I totally appreciated it. My audition skills are shaky at best and I really had no idea what I was doing but he sat us all down and if we chose to hear his critiques he gave them. Some of the other comics didn’t like it but I could feel that it wasn’t done out of anything other than wanting to help us.
I took what he said to heart and used it to shape my set for the Late Late show. It helped give me an idea of how to structure what to include and what not to. I never had to do the same audition process to get that show and if I did I might not have gotten it. This is a bit late in the game for me to be learning how to audition but it’s a weak point and I admit it.
I absolutely WILL get better at it though and I already have. Tonight’s show was not my best showing but at least I was not nearly as nervous as I have been in the past. I was a bit tight because Eddie Brill was in the room but then I thought of how I’ve heard quite a few of my former students tell me they get that way when I’M in the room. That shocked me.
That’s the last reaction I want. I’m there to cheer them on and I want them to go up and inflict punishment on the audience in a good way. I believe it’s the same with Eddie Brill. His job is to FIND comedians, not ignore them. He wants us to be good. I think too many comics get the idea he or anyone in a similar position is out to be an obstacle in their path.
The exact opposite is true. Eddie Brill is very encouraging and it really helps that he’s a comic himself. It’s not necessary though. Celia Joseph is the talent booker I dealt with for the Late Late Show and she was a sweetheart of epic proportions and super to deal with. I could feel she really cared and was very nice. What Celia and Eddie both share is warmth.
Eddie made it a point to come over to me tonight and shake my hand and say how much he appreciated me sending him a thank you letter after my taping. I told him I meant it all and I totally did. His face lit up and he said it made his day and that in turn made my day. He gets hundreds if not thousands of comics sending him stuff and he remembered ME!
That really made me feel good and I knew right then that I’m starting to arrive. Whether I get on David Letterman doesn’t matter at this point. Yes, I’d love to. Who wouldn’t? He is a TV icon and I’d cherish the opportunity but in reality it really doesn’t matter at all.
What matters is that Eddie remembered me and made it a point to come over and say hi before the show. He is also friends with my good friend Ross Bennett who I have always thought the world of and if he and Ross are friends that says it all. He‘s gold in my book.
Tonight’s audition wasn’t for the David Letterman show per se. There’s a festival going on in Johnny Carson’s home town in Nebraska and Eddie is out looking for comics to put in it. I’d love to do it and I’m grateful Bert Haas from Zanies gave me a shot to audition.
If I was going to have a rough audition set tonight was it. Bert knows me about as well as anyone and I’m the headliner at Zanies this week. He knows what I can do and he said I didn’t do as badly as I thought I did. I’ll take his word for it but I felt like I ate a bullet.
If Bert didn’t know me I’d be worried. But he does. And he’s still going to book me as a headliner. Eddie Brill is starting to know me. This won’t kill me with him. He knows how it is because he’s a comic too. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if I got a booking but even if I don’t I still respect the guy. He‘s a pro and he has a heart. That‘s rare. I try to be the same.
It’s never fun to have a bad set but this one is already history. I know what I did and it’s totally fixable. I will continue to develop a strong four to six minute set that I’ll be able to use for both auditioning and a future TV set too. It’s only been a little under a month so it was stupid of me to even think about trying to pull it off. Live and learn. I‘ll bounce back.
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