Does A God And/Or Jesus Exist?

Sunday April 12th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

Easter Sunday. What does it mean? I’m not sure anymore. As I get older my belief in all I was taught as a child about God and Jesus and religion is fading fast and I have to admit it scares me a little. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I totally do and I won’t lie about it. In my heart of hearts it doesn’t make sense to me and looking back I think I’ve been had.

I don’t think the God concept I once believed without question actually exists. Is there a super powerful all knowing being that lives in heaven that sees everything everyone down here on Earth does and then after we die decides if we can live up there in heaven or not?

Did that all powerful being miraculously impregnate an Earth chick without having sex with her and then that kid went around telling everyone what to do and how to live better and eventually get to party forever up in the same heaven where that super being lives? If I accept this story I get to party forever but if I don’t I have to fry like a pork chop instead.

I have to admit that’s a pretty far fetched story and the more I think about it the less I’m buying any of it. I’m not trying to be blasphemous or rebellious or anything other than the way I truly feel - very doubtful. It’s the same feeling I had when I found out Santa wasn’t real and also when I found out pro wrestling was fake. This is the final leg of the trifecta.

I would love nothing more than to have assurance of a heavenly being who knows all of what’s happening down here and eventually there will be justice for those who do good. It doesn’t look good for that though and I’m not going to count on it. I think we’re all in the trick bag and everyone is on their own. The good we do is because we want to. Period.

I have been around religious teaching my whole life as have millions of others. I used to really believe it and take solace in knowing someday I’d be in a better place where things are all peachy and I wouldn’t have to slug it out on this wacked out planet where evil is in charge. Now I’m wondering how I was ever naïve and stupid enough to believe any of it.

It’s not that I’m turning against God, I just don’t see that the one they told me about is a real entity. I’m having a hard time with Jesus too. Was there a real guy named Jesus? I am not really sure. The Bible talks about it but who wrote the Bible? Men. Who’s to say what anyone should believe? I for one think it’s not bad to question authority so I’m doing it.

People get very touchy on this subject and I’m sure I’ll step on some toes. I know of one comedy booker who said he ‘couldn’t in good conscience book an atheist.’ I’m booked to work for him later this year and writing this might cause me to lose the gig but I won’t lie and be a hypocrite to get work. I’m not going to push the issue but that’s how I’m feeling.

There are a few people I’ve met in my life who really live their religion. My friend Jerry Agar’s wife Ann is a perfect example. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and she is very big into her church. She doesn’t inflict it on me and respects my space and has class in doing it. She’s never talked down to me about it and I respect her greatly for that.

My comedian friend Preacher Moss is another one. He converted to Islam years ago and I have never met anyone who has lived his faith more diligently. He truly believes in what it stands for and he makes it the most important thing in his life. I can’t argue with that so I don’t but at least he’s respectful about it and again doesn’t force feed it down my throat.

My grandmother dropped out of the Catholic church when I was a kid and started going to all kinds of other churches to comparison shop. I was dragged along against my will so I got to experience quite a few church situations and most of them were pretty hard to get excited about, especially as a kid. There was bad music and speakers that spoke too long.

Then my father stopped being a biker and found Jesus instead. That made me wish he’d have lost Jesus because it made him an even bigger evil snake bastard than he was before. He’d go in and out of ‘church mode’ and say flowery prayers in church and pretend to be God’s number one biker buddy and then come home and beat on us all like rented mules.

I remember how he bought a ring that had ‘Jesus’ engraved on it and was very proud of it. Then he would beat my brother or step mother while wearing it and I always thought of how ironic that was. He was anything but a ‘Christian’ and the more he forced us to go to church the more I questioned why we were there. We didn’t have a choice but to attend.

As a kid I went back and forth a few times between my father’s insane world of forced religion to living with my grandmother who also fell for it. She sent me to a ‘holy rollers’ church that really knew how to put on a show. I saw some amazing performers and some of their entertainment skills were influential on what I do today. They worked that crowd.

I will say I met some very sweet people in those years but there were also some total oil can slime balls who used the church for their own gain. This is how real life is too. There are some very nice people and then there are the snakes. It doesn’t take a church for that.

If someone finds peace of mind and spiritual satisfaction from believing in God or Jesus or any other religious offshoot then far be it from me to shoot them down. That’s what we should have the freedom to be able to do and it’s what our country based itself on when it started. On the other hand I don’t think it’s smart to just blindly accept what we’re told.

I did that for a while and just assumed that it would all work out according to the master plan but now I really don’t know what to think. I think we all need to be seekers of what’s true no matter how different that may be from what we thought before. That takes guts.

There’s a very interesting website I was turned on to called www.zeitgeistmovie.com. It has a couple of movies to watch and I really didn’t feel like watching them but I started to watch one to see what it was like. I ended up watching both and they shook my head up.

I think some force had to make the universe and all the stars and planets including this little cosmic speck we live on but it doesn’t appear to be the white robed old guy we hear of in churches, synagogues or mosques. What’s the truth? God only knows. Or does he?