Quarterly Interest

Thursday March 31st, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   Here it is the end of the first quarter already and I’m only just now beginning to feel like I’m recovering from the rigorous grind of cruise ships and everything else I’ve been doing in this last year. I think I was more mentally tired than anything, but I did need a breather.

   I admit I’ve farted around for the last month or so, and I’m not ashamed at all. I enjoyed it. I needed it too. I was hitting it pretty hard there for a while, and I could feel right where my limits were. I don’t often push those, and I ended up sucking all my energy reserves.

   Now I feel I’m ready to get back out there and start working again. I need to have a plan in place this time though. I’ve been wandering aimlessly for too long. It’s time to put it all together and do whatever it is I’m going to do in life. This is my one big shot with a pistol that took a lifetime to load. What do I shoot for? This is my choice, so I better be careful.

   I want to get all I can out of the creative abilities with which I was blessed. I want to put my all into creating, developing and selling as many products as I can, and I can use a big seller right about now to kick things off. I’ve got lots of ideas, but limited time to work on them all. Now it becomes a matter of using my time efficiently and in the correct order.

   I have to consciously focus on my projects from start to finish, and learn to delegate the tasks I’m not good at. I have to work on one project at a time, and I have to keep records of progress so I can see what needs to be improved at a glance. These are all major steps, and it will take major change on my part to get as many of them done as I humanly can.

   That’s probably going to mean cutting back on lunches with comedians and friends like Marc Schultz, and even women I like. I love hanging out and bouncing ideas around with friends, but it’s not always the most efficient way to spend my time, especially right now.

   I need to plan my lunches and dinners carefully, at least for the next few months. I want to crank out as much and as many sellable products as humanly possible in these next six months from April 1st to October 1st, and that will take concentrated effort each and every day. I’ve got some comedy bookings then, but not that hectic out of control pace I was on.

   I’ve said all this before, and then some rinky dink gig comes up in Wyoming and before I know it I’m in my car wondering if I’ll make it. I’ve really got to stop doing that, and get to work on something that can pay off in the future. The road pays no dividends. It takes.

   I spent the last few days hanging out with some of my favorite comedy people like Karl Newyear (The World’s Funnies Lutheran), Bob ‘Wilbur’ Williams and Gary Pansch from The Mothership Connection radio show. They are all good guys, and we had a lot of fun.

   But now I choose to come out swinging in these next six months and step up my effort a little. I need to spread out more tasks to more people, and work on other things to help my life be more well rounded. If I can pull it off, this could be the best six months of my life.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Structure And Routine

Wednesday March 30th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   Structure and routine. There’s an unbelievably fine line in humans between craving and  loathing it, and I’m still trying to figure out exactly where that line is. 100% complete and total freedom is what we all think we want, but once it’s attained boredom sets in quickly.

   How many people have counted the days until retirement from some job they hated, but when it finally comes, the thrill is gone in less than a month? They end up either dying or finding something else to do that has some kind of structure to keep their mind working.

   I’ll admit, I’ve avoided structure for the better part of my adult life and now I’m paying for it. I had a lot of fun and toured North America, but had I made a better battle plan and stuck to it I’d be in a lot better position than I am today. There IS a need for structure and routine after all, it’s just a matter of how much. It’s rarely fun, but it does insure growth.

   That’s where I am now. I need more structure in every area of my life, but not so much  that it’s going to strangle my creativity and cramp my style. I have a lot of ideas for things I want to achieve, but I’m still a little shaky when it comes to going after them properly.

   I’ll work a little here and a little there, and get a little done. That’s not close to being the way to do it correctly. Do you think Ray Kroc did that with McDonald’s? Hell no. He put a plan together and created a system, then he recreated it in every one of his restaurants.

  I have to buckle down and make a workable plan for what I’m doing, and then create my own system. The trouble is, I’ve got a lot of things I want to do. I may have to take a step back and get one going, then when that’s up I can start the next one. But that’s BORING.

  It is for me anyway. I like having all kinds of things going at once. I don’t know why I’m comfortable with it, but I totally am. Maybe it’s A.D.D. or maybe it’s because that’s what I’ve always been used to in my life. Whatever it is, it’s not working out the way I want it to so that means I’ll have to make adjustments or it’s going to continue to be a let down.

   I was supposed to have a dinner date but it got postponed. Instead, I met with my friend Bob ‘Wilbur’ Williams. He’s a former student, and very funny guy. He’s an exceptionally gifted writer, and I wish I could pay him what he’s worth to create jokes and situations for a Mr. Lucky sitcom. That character is meant for TV, even if I’m not the one to play him.

  We talked about how Carl Reiner came up with the character of Rob Petrie based on his own life experiences, but it was Dick Van Dyke who played the role on the show. He did a fantastic job with it too, and Carl was still able to play Alan Brady and contribute to the mix as well. I would have no problem with someone else playing Mr. Lucky on a show.

   Wilbur would be a great sitcom writer, but that’s just not where entertainment seems to be going these days. Still, he’s on my go to list of creative people and I’ve got a rock solid one in place. The talent is ready, I just need a project that pays to be able to hire them all.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Revised Radio Rant

Tuesday March 29th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL (revised)

   One thing I’ve been able to do in life is admit when I’m wrong. Apparently I’d obtained the wrong information on the radio firing of John Jagler at AM 620 WTMJ in Milwaukee today and I apologize for including him in my previous rant about the insanity of radio.

   I don’t apologize for ranting about the cruel nature of radio though. It’s out of control as far as the cannibalization of its employees go. I’ve been witness to it first hand five times and every one of them has come about for reasons I still can’t understand. It wasn’t a lack of ability on my part, and it rarely is. They always seem to be going in a ‘new direction’.

   Unfortunately, that direction is usually south. Of the five stations I’ve gotten fired from, four of those are no longer on the air and the other continues to struggle badly. Their ‘new direction’ turned out to be a lot worse than the one they were headed when I was working for them. The major complaint I have is how management doesn’t treat us like humans.

   One thing I did get correct was that sports talk host Bill Michaels is no longer employed at WTMJ. I’m not exactly sure what happened other than his contract wasn’t renewed and it’s none of my business, but I did read where Bill Michaels said he was surprised about it and didn’t fully expect it. That’s all I had to hear, and I feel for the guy. He got taken out.

   Other than maybe sports coaches, I can’t think of another business that’s so quick to fire people out of the blue. I don’t know Bill well, but I’ve met him and know people who are friends of his. I’ve heard him during Packer coverage and listened to his sports talk show, as I’m a big sports talk listener in general. He worked hard and I’m sorry he was gassed.

   He wasn’t the first one though. I was a big fan of Steve ‘The Homer’ True on WISN for years, and he got let go after his contract was up. He’s now on AM 540 ESPN Radio and still sounds great. I’ll take at least a little credit for introducing Homer to Craig Karmazin at a comedy show years ago, and they ended up working out a deal that’s still going now.

   I love hanging out on ‘The D List’ on ESPN Radio. The vibe in that building is a whole lot better than most other stations I’ve been around. Sure, people come and go as happens in all work places, but I don’t sense a gun to the head atmosphere there from Craig and he treats his employees very well from my observation. I’m a big fan of the whole operation.

   My whole point is, I think people who are competent and want to work should be get to do exactly that, especially after putting in years of loyal service. If there has to be changes made, fine - but don’t just blow the person out the door with no way of earning a living.

   That’s no way to treat human beings, yet it happens all the time. I think there could be a lot more class shown without that much effort. Most broadcast companies have properties elsewhere and at least a token offer of other employment could be offered. It’s only right, but that’s just my opinion apparently. I’ve never seen it happen in real life. I send positive vibes to Bill Michaels and everyone else who’s been fired in radio. It’s very unnecessary.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

WTMJ Radio Firings

Tuesday March 29th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   The grim reaper of radio must be working on commission. I’ve never seen a business so bound and determined to fire its people en masse with such cold heartedness. I’ve had my own name called five times in four time zones, and every one has been ice cold and ugly.

   Today the ax fell at AM 620 WTMJ in Milwaukee with twin casualties - morning news co-anchor John Jagler and evening sports talk host Bill Michaels. I never met John Jagler but I have briefly crossed paths with Bill Michaels. Either way, I can feel for them both.

   They both had meetings in which an office door was closed, and within scant minutes a member of management recited a few well oiled clichés informing both of them they’d be no longer working at the station. There was paperwork to fill out, and then each one had to go clean out a work area which took years to accumulate piles of paper, junk and trash.

   Time began to slow down as they filled a makeshift box with years of memories pulled from desk drawers and their entire tenure at the station flashed in front of their eyes. They fought back tears, and it became a surreal situation that this was indeed the end of the line at a place they’d come to the point of taking for granted. But in an instant, it was all gone.

   Each one had to have security walk them to the door, and they had to be completely out of the building within an hour or two. Other employees heard about it and a few may have come over to say good bye, but more stayed away until it was over because they all know they could be next. Both guys loaded their cars, and left the parking lot for the last time.

   Does any radio person really deserve to get treated like that? I seriously doubt it. They’d been showing up for years, and became part of the furniture. They’re people, just trying to make a living like anyone else. The company has a lot of other stations, couldn’t someone try to find them a job somewhere else or at least give a heads up a few weeks beforehand?

   Nope. That would make too much sense. That would be ‘nice’ and human rather than a calculating heartless execution that’s completely uncalled for, but happens all the time at all kinds of stations coast to coast. That’s how that business is, and it stings to the bone.

   The same thing happened to Phil Cianciola at WTMJ a while back. I always thought he was extremely talented and should be handed the afternoon shift when Jonathan Green’s tenure came to an end. They humiliated him too, and kudos to him for fighting back with his own pod cast. Still, I think all of those guys should have a job. They’ve all earned it.

   I know business is business and all that, but we’re all humans too. Couldn’t the station try to sit down and help them relocate and continue their lives after dedicating a chunk of it to the station? To me this would be a no brainer, but I guess that’s why I’m still fired.

   Not that it means much coming from me, but my heart goes out to those guys. I’ve been where they are and it’s not fun. Radio is what it is, and I wish all the best to both of them.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Critter Communication

Sunday March 27th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI

   Back for yet another Sunday evening radio ride on The Mothership Connection on AM 1050 WLIP in Kenosha, WI. We always have fun, and no matter how down and out I may feel on any given Sunday I’m always in a good mood on the air because that’s why we do the show in the first place. We all contribute to the mix, and we’re a nice ensemble cast.

  Tonight’s topic was animal communication, or ‘pet psychic’. Our guest was a nice lady from Madison, WI named Asia Voight, who is apparently an expert in her field. She was a wonderful guest, and really knew her stuff. Our co-hosts brought their animals, and she nailed one accurate reading after the next. It was astonishing to watch her rattle it all off.

   I never had many pets as a kid, and as an adult I’ve been on the road traveling so it’s not possible for me to have pets of my own. It’s bad enough I’ve had to drive all these miles a year as me - I’d never want to put a poor animal through any of that. That would be cruel.

   Just because I never had pets doesn’t mean I’m not an animal lover or wouldn’t assist in promoting any animal related causes. I want to cry every time I see the commercial on TV with Sarah McLachlan asking for monthly pledges to help some animal get help it needs.

   There was a comic I worked with years ago named Ric Schraeder who was a vegetarian only because he didn’t want any animals to die just so he could eat. That’s a noble cause I was never able to follow, but I sure admire him for doing it. That takes true commitment.

   Asia said she discovered she had the gift of communicating with animals since she was a kid and was surprised everyone else didn’t as well. Maybe we do, and she’s just had the ability to get and stay in touch with it this long. She amazed everyone with all her dead on questions that were supposedly ‘animal messages’. Learn more at www.asiavoight.com.

   Who am I to say if anything we talk about on the radio show is real or not? I think there is a whole lot more to the universe and life as we know it than I’m able to grasp with my little old dimly lit low watted appliance bulb of a brain. I’ve learned to shut my cake hole and open two ears and let the experts speak what they know. That’s why the show works.

   Plus, we just have fun doing it. There’s zero money to fight over so we all show up each week because we enjoy everything about it. It’s fun to be on the air, and it shows. I like to go by a policy of ‘HAVING fun but not MAKING fun’ and everyone else follows along.

   There’s never any reason to take someone’s dignity or gang up on a defenseless outsider like so many radio shows do. I never want to operate that way. We are regular people who talk about interesting subjects in a fun way. That formula has worked out very well so far.

   The only other comedian I can think of that has so many varied projects going on is Jeff Foxworthy. The big difference is, he gets PAID - and very well. I haven’t worked that out yet, but when I do look out. Fun and money together have to be the greatest combo ever.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

A Wasted Favor

Saturday March 26th, 2011 - McHenry, IL

   I really am trying to be a nice guy in this life, but the nicer I am the more I get scorched. Tonight I agreed to do a show for a comedian who lives in my area and is trying to start a regular show at a joint in McHenry, IL - maybe a ten minute drive from where I’m living.

   I’ve always gotten along with the guy, even though the give/take ratio in favors has him taking by about 95%. Whatever. I’m used to it by now. I’ve always had the policy if I can give or help, I do. I try not to keep score and hope it all evens out in the end. Am I stupid?

   When I showed up, all the red flags went up of a horrific experience. There was a small room with a bar and no stage, a rinky dink sound system and I heard within minutes there would be no cover charge for people to see the show. I wanted to get in my car and leave immediately, but I told the guy I‘d do the show for him so I shut my mouth and sat down.

   We were supposed to start at 7:30, but didn’t get going until well after 8. That’s another red flag, as it usually serves to rile those who arrived for the original start time. I’ve had it happen before, and don’t need to keep reliving it over and over again. I’m past all of this.

   By the time the show did get going, the comedian who’d set it up had partaken in a few swallows of hooch and was feeling a little tipsy. He went a bit long and was all over the place, and I again rolled my eyes wondering why I couldn’t have said no and had a night off. I like to perform, that’s why. Me and my stupid need for the attention of strangers.

   The highlight of the evening was watching one of my former students Elly Greenspahn do the feature spot at my request. She’s a teacher in Chicago Public Schools and has been at comedy for five or six years now. She’s been making some nice progress and I wanted to give her a chance to have practice at doing a longer set in front of a suburban audience.

   She really pulled it off, even though the sound system was pretty weak and the lighting on the stage was a single bulb, and a dim one at that. Her stage persona is developing very nicely, and the audience loved her. I can see television written all over her and I was glad I could throw her the stage time. She went a little short, but that’s fine. She gave it her all.

   By the time I got on, alcohol became a factor and a few people started to talk. I saw I’d have to take charge, and that’s exactly what I did. It made it tougher without a good sound system, but I’ve got experience and knew what to do. I just didn‘t feel like having to do it.

   They laughed hard, but I still had to deal with talking pockets most of the night. I don’t want to have to do that at this stage of my life, and it wasn’t fun at all. Then to make it all worse, the guy handed me a check at the end of the night. And it was $50 short. Not good.

   What am I going to do, yell at the guy? I took the gig and assumed all would be handled professionally. WRONG. I will be pissed if the check bounces, but it’s my fault for taking one. This was too much stress for a piss poor pay off. Please don‘t ask me for any favors.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Raising Expectations Immediately

Friday March 25th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL/Chicago, IL

   Time to make some hard decisions. I’ve pecked away a little at all the projects I’ve said I want to tackle this year, but the progress is just not enough. I need to improve by a lot if I’m going to make any progress with anything. I’ll have to fire myself up, or fire myself.

   One of the major downsides of self employment is that there can be too much freedom, and that can do just as much or more damage as not enough. If I went to work at Wendy’s and wasn’t cranking out enough burgers per hour, I might get a warning but eventually I’d be shown the door. There’s an expectation level there, and they have the right to set one.

   I have an absolutely enormous expectation level set for myself, but the problem is it can be overwhelming at times. I’m trying to build a skyscraper by myself with popsicle sticks, and that’s just not realistic. I have to take proper steps in proper order, make up a tangible plan of action and actually follow it day in and day out until what I envision comes to be.

   That’s really tough  to pull off, especially alone, and it’s impossible to pull off without a fully detailed plan. I’ve gotten better at my planning in the last year or so, especially when I was out working the cruise ships. I’ve got a nice outline laid out, but it’s still not there.

   Here it is, almost the end of the first quarter already and what have I done? Not a whole lot, and nowhere near what I thought I’d have done by now. Things do get in the way and there are legitimate reasons as to why I’m behind, but not one of them are and excuse and I refuse to settle for the piss poor progress I’m making. Time to kick it in the ass. Today.

   There’s no reason I shouldn’t be living all of my dreams right now. I’ve pissed away so much of my life making mistakes and dealing with my own stupidity that I’ve left myself precious little time to make something good happen. Many of those mistakes have taught me valuable lessons, and now I’d like to try success for a while and see how that fits me.

   I’m very disappointed with my level of achievement, not only for my whole life to date but for this year especially. I’ve got to get organized and get others working with me on a team basis if I’m ever going to move past the level of bottom feeder scavenger that I am.

   I don’t want to be at this level anymore, but I also don’t want to have to be a full blown 100% all beef class A New York Style wankeroo either. My grandpa always told me the most difficult challenge in life is to be a good person and a success. It’s the golden ring.

   Well, that’s exactly what I’m shooting for. I know me and I wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less than the most difficult anyway so why hide it anymore? Failure I can take, not giving maximum effort I can’t. I know I can do better, and I need to start right now.

     I will begin immediately to improve myself on every level and make plans to do it on a bigger scale and with other people involved on the team. Between Uranus Factory Outlet, comedy, comedy classes, exercising and organizing, I’ve got plenty to occupy my time.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary