Monday August 1st, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL It’s time to start tweaking my vibe. I’m learning that life is definitely all about the vibes we all send out, and everyone has a lot more control than we think. I’ve managed to screw myself for years because I hadn’t grasped that concept. I’m finally starting to get it now. Every self help program ever made boils down to the idea of - “A person’s thoughts are a direct influence on what eventually manifests into reality.” It may be said in a countless variety of ways, but the fundamental idea is exactly the same. It’s in the Bible, and I have to believe the Qaran and every other religious entity has a version of it too. It’s the truth. Some of the most famous self help books of all time say it right in the title. ’Think And Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill is an all time classic, as is ’The Magic Of Thinking Big’ by David Schwartz. Earl Nightingale recorded ’The Strangest Secret’, which turned out to be the same thing - a person becomes what they think about most. It’s not a secret anymore. Then there’s Rhonda Byrne’s ’The Secret’, which goes into more depth about all of that kind of stuff. I remember how it really made a major impact the first time I saw the video a few years ago, and every time I watched it afterward I’d get pumped up all over again. I happened to run across a 4 CD audio version in like new condition at a thrift store for a ridiculously low price and I had to buy it. I also picked up a Robert Kiyosaki “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” 3 CD set that had no price marked so the clerk threw it in for .99 extra. Deal. I had some errands to run much of the day and I bathed my brain in both sets until I got all the way through each one. They’re both very well produced, and I found myself lost in constructive thought as I completed my chores route. This is exactly what I needed today. I’m starting to finally put the right foods in my body and the right thoughts in my brain on a regular basis and I’m feeling better than I ever have. My diabetes diagnosis triggered it, but even though it was only six weeks ago it seems like ancient history. I refuse to even claim the disease right now. I might have been diagnosed with it, but I’m not accepting it. I’m not saying I’ll never have another carbohydrate, but right now I know I’m creating a whole new person, the one I was always meant to be but somehow couldn’t find in myself to bring about. I’m becoming healthy in body, mind and spirit and I can feel daily growth. I took a nice long walk today, and it’s becoming a habit. I also ate lots of vegetables and didn’t hate it. I’m not craving Pepsis or Big Macs and my body and spirit feel like I’m not the same person I was two months ago. I also looked over my email master list and sent a note to the people I want to reconnect with. It all starts in the mind, and mine is on a roll. What I can’t do is change everything in a day, week, month or even year. This has to be a long term project, with no end in sight. I’m choosing to do this just as I made some poor choices in the past. I didn’t like those results, so I’m going after new ones. It’s working.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
My Favorite Marlin
Saturday July 30th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI I love cars. I love shows. Mathematically, that must mean I love car shows. And I do. I especially love car shows when they happen to occur on spectacular sunny days, of which today was one. I had a lot of things to love today because I got to see a car show for free. My film director buddy Mark Gumbinger called and invited me to go to an event called ’Taste Of Kenosha’ with him and his brother Mike. How many ’Taste Of’ festivals do we really need? Chicago seems to always be near the brink of extinction with theirs, but then every other two bit one horse unincorporated corn field burg has to try doing one as well. Not to say Kenosha is any of those things. I happen to enjoy several features about that place, and wouldn’t be at all ashamed to live there. I’ve grown to feel at home through my many years of being on the radio, and the location is absolutely ideal for me with business in both Chicago and Milwaukee on a regular basis. It’s the halfway there point both ways. Another reason I feel a synergy with Kenosha is the American Motors connection. I can unfortunately relate all too well to being perpetually entrenched at number four in what is a field where most people only think of ‘the big three‘. Still, there are fans of the brand. About 300 of them from all over the country showed up near Lake Michigan for the big car show and swap meet that featured AMC products. There was anything and everything on display including Nash, Rambler, Gremlin, Pacer, Hornet, Matador, Ambassador and I enjoyed seeing every one of them. It was a celebration of obscure, and those who like it. Most people collect and/or restore any other brands but AMC, and it did my heart good to see all those oddballs in one place. On this day, a Camaro or Thunderbird would be the freak show. Those cars get their due everywhere else, today it was the Javelin and AMX. That was the hot car of the day, and there were all kinds of them in showroom condition. I’ve been hooked on cars since my grandpa started showing me how to identify them by sight when I was very little. Back then it was possible to pick brands and years out of the crowd with relative ease. Now most cars look pretty much the same and that‘s so boring. Not today. If there’s one thing AMC wasn’t, was like anyone else. What other company would name a car after an insect pest everyone wanted to kill with a rolled up newspaper? Nobody. The Hornet was unique. The whole line was. They were ugly, but in a fun way. My personal favorite is the Marlin. There was an AMC/Rambler dealership four blocks from where I grew up in Milwaukee, and my grandpa and I would walk past it during one of our many walks together and he’d teach me how to distinguish between all the models. The Marlin was only produced three model years, just like the Edsel. It had a distinctive design I thought was cool and still do. There were several at the show and seeing them all reminded me of Gramps and took me back in time. That alone made it worth showing up.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Paring Down And Catching Up
Friday July 29th, 2011 - Cary, IL/Fox Lake, IL More running around today, but I have to catch up with all the things I’ve fallen behind on in the last month. Even though I took time off, my bills didn’t. I’m going to have to be extra thrifty in the next little while to make it through, and anything I can unload for cash is a must do. I don’t have anything that isn’t replaceable, but right now I need to simplify. It deeply saddened me, but I sold my 1983 Cadillac. I just don’t have room for it at the present time. Storing it would cost money I’ll need to use for stupid frivolous things like food, clothing and shelter and I couldn’t justify keeping it. I found a guy who has a garage that fixes older cars near the Wisconsin border and he offered me $600 cash. I accepted. I paid $1500 for it and it was worth it. I didn’t have to stick a nickel into it and took it on several road trips all over America. It drinks gas in the city, but on the highway I was pleasantly surprised by the numbers. It was a great buy and I got my money’s worth and more out of it. I’d love to keep it, but right now I need the scratch so bye bye it goes. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to pare down and live lean. Possessions mean zilch to me as I get older, and everything is replaceable. If I really have a burning need to drive an old tub of a car, I think I’ll be able to find one. For now, I’ve got other priorities at hand. Two of those are filling my body with quality foods and my brain with quality thoughts. I’ve been pounding down so many salads and vegetables lately, I think I’m going to start peeing vinegar and oil any day now. Everyone I see lately who hasn’t seen me for a while immediately says how much better I look, and it feels fantastic. I know I’m succeeding. My blood sugar is right where it’s supposed to be, but I’m just getting started. I’ve been reading all kinds of books on diet, exercise, diabetes and good health in general and I see just how much of a commitment there is in keeping one’s health in top shape. I’m willing to make that commitment, but I’ve got a lot more studying and work to do. It’s a process. Another process is filling my head with quality thoughts. I have stacks of books that are doing nothing but gather dust, both in a storage unit and at home. I took an hour to begin actually reading them, and need to make that a regular part of my day. Reading is crucial, as is listening to audio programs both in my car and at home. I have enough for decades. I’d have to read non stop a solid eight hours a day, seven days a week until my prostate rots off to put even a teeny tiny dent in my stash of materials. If I don’t devote one hour a day at least to packing my skull with brain chow I might as well torch it all and get some heat out of it. Otherwise, it‘s a complete waste. An hour a day will be an attainable goal. Books are meant to be read, and audio is meant to be heard. I’ve got a backlog of hand picked stuff I’d love to delve into and have been meaning to for years. Now’s the perfect time to start building new and better habits, and that’s what I intend to do. It’s exciting to see all these steps come together. Before long, I might actually be able to build a nice life.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Morning Blending
Thursday July 28th, 2011 - Milwaukee, WI Lots of running around today, but it was all productive. First it was up to Milwaukee for a return visit to ‘The Morning Blend’ on Today’s TMJ 4 with the sweetheart hosts Molly Fay and Tiffany Ogle. They’re both delightful to work with, as are everyone from camera operators to the assistants to the producer. It’s a total pleasure to be a part of that show. There are always laughs and fun going on in the studio, even when the camera isn‘t on. That’s a healthy sign a staff gets along, and in my opinion the way it should be but is not on many occasions. I’ve been in some situations where it felt like a morgue off the air. The Bob and Tom show was like that. I always felt a dysfunctional vibe in that studio a lot like the one I felt whenever my father was in a room. Everyone was on edge, awaiting the wrong thing to be said that would trigger the psychotic explosion. It was raw tension. I was on that show maybe six or seven times, and whenever they’d go to a commercial it would be very awkward because they’d all get up and leave without warning to go have a smoke or get a cup of coffee or something, and I’d sit all alone in a chilly radio studio. It was never fun or comfortable, and every time I left that building I never knew if I did well or not. I’ve heard other comedians say the same thing, and in my opinion that isn’t a way to get the most out of a guest. I believe it’s a good host’s job to keep everyone loose. Craig Ferguson was extremely friendly. I only got to meet him for a minute or two, but he made me feel at home immediately. He’s a friendly person and I happen to think he is also very funny. He didn’t talk down to me in the least. He treated me like I was a peer. Molly and Tiffany are like that, and I think this was my third or fourth time on the show. They make it very easy to shine, as did the other guys on the ‘man panel’ that we were on. They were all radio hosts from AM 620 WTMJ, so I felt flattered to be part of that group. I listen to the station regularly, and had met two of the three guys before. Greg Matzek is half of a new sports talk team along with Trenni Kusnierek, and I hadn’t met him until today. He has a world class deep baritone radio voice and does a fine job with Trenni who I do know. She’s also a sweetheart and I wish them both the best on their brand new gig. James T. Harris was also on the panel, and I’m a huge fan of his talk show. That guy’s a big time talent, and shakes things up. He tells it like it is, and the only complaint I have is I don’t get to hear him more. He’s entertaining, informative and knows what he‘s doing. Dan O’Donnell was the fourth guy, and we were on the last panel together. He sounded great and cracked off some one liners that made us all laugh, as did everyone. It was a fun segment, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’d go back there anytime, and I do hope they ask. I ran errands the rest of the day, and knocked out a lot of things I’d been intending to do for weeks. Starting the morning with such a positive vibe ended up lasting all day.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Preparing For Battle
Wednesday July 27th, 2011 - Cary, IL Time to take some comedy inventory. Yammering on about how the business isn’t what it used to be won’t pry me out of the precarious predicament I‘m presently planted in. I’ve got to look at what all my options are, and make an intelligent decision to move forward. On the good side, I’ve got a lot of experience. I’d go as far as to say I’ve got as much or more hands on experience with standup comedy than 90% of headliners working in clubs today. No situation rattles me, and I’m able to adjust to virtually any scenario imaginable. Off stage, I’m not a drinker or drug user, and I’m extremely low maintenance. I’m not a diva and don’t whine on about things like the colors of my M&Ms or that there’s not any caviar on my deli tray. I show up and give my very best show, then I’m always willing to meet and greet any fans afterward who might want to meet me. I think that’s important. On the not so good side, I’ve been known to polarize people and there are some that are not now and highly doubtful in the future to ever be in my corner. A flaming example that haunts me often is the Bob and Tom radio show. Apparently I’ve pissed them off so badly I’ll never be on again, no matter how hard I try to apologize. That bridge has been nuked. I still don’t know what I did, but in their eyes I’m the devil. Whatever. I’ve tried to say I was sorry, and I meant it. They didn’t accept. I’m off the show, which is heard in a lot of markets across the country. They’re not big markets, but they have a lot of exposure that’s perfect for what I do. I would KILL on their tours, and would have made a lot of money. But alas, that’s not to be so I have to get over it. The other people I’ve pissed off are not nearly as high profile as Bob and Tom, but word gets around the block and I can tell I’m a bit of a pariah in some circles. Again, I can’t change what people are going to think, and I always try to make things right if I’ve hurt or offended someone. Sometimes they reject it. What I need to do now is see who’s in my corner and who isn’t, and who has something to offer and who doesn’t. Plus, I need to expand my scope of focus WAY past only doing comedy club work. My booker friend Marc Schultz has been telling me that for years, and I know he’s right. I need to market myself to people who can pay a decent wage for today. That’s nearly impossible to get in comedy clubs these days. I’ve said it before, but it’s a fact - I need to make myself a draw. That’s much easier said than done, but it’s still a long way from happening. I’m not a household name, even at my house. That’s a big problem. I also need to take inventory of my whole onstage presentation too. I’ve got hundreds of pages of ideas in a giant computer file and there’s stuff in there I know I could polish into some great bits. But, they’re like songs on a music album. Which ones will become hits? This is like the second half of a ball game. I’m making adjustments in the locker room, now it’s time to go out and execute that plan. The second half is where games are won.
Career Concern
Tuesday July 26th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI I like to be positive whenever I can, but I have to say I’m not optimistic about the future of comedy as not only I see it, but my peers too. I’m in an extraordinarily difficult spot as far as career goes, and I‘m not alone. It’s a hard enough road being an entertainer, but the business as I’ve come to know it for over a quarter of a century is shriveling up. And fast. Like a lot of industries, it just isn’t what it was and the prospects of it coming back are getting slimmer by the minute. I feel like the guy (and I know there’s at least one around) who’s sitting on a warehouse full of leisure suits, or his partner who’s got another full of parachute pants. Both may hope those items make a comeback, but it’s highly doubtful. I got a call from Nick Gaza today. Nick is a funny comic from Indiana right around my age who recently moved back to the Midwest after slugging it out for many years in Los Angeles. He’s from my comedy generation, and we exchanged tales of how it‘s changed. It used to be a small percentage of people made livings as comedians. It was a whole lot less when we started, and our generation had a few years of a boom before it was infested with hacks, idiots and wannabes which caused it to come crashing down in the early ‘90s. Then it kind of built back up again, but not to that fever pitch it was in the golden years of the magical ‘80s. During that time, there was a mass exodus of comics who moved to L.A. in hopes of hitting the jackpot. Many did, as development deal money seemed to get handed out like Halloween candy. A good many road dogs got a taste of major moolah. They were making sitcoms then, and standup comics were the hot thing. I’m sure actual actors weren’t too thrilled about that, but that’s how it went. A lot of those people weren’t heard from again, even though they’d managed to haul in a nice chunk of coin for a while. Nick and I are from that generation, but never got close to that windfall. He was in L.A. trying to get seen, and I was farting around doing radio, road gigs and trying to stay out of prison while being accused of a bank robbery I didn’t do. I never got my shot at any deals. Now, all that is ancient history. Reality TV is what’s being cranked out like rabbit turds in a pet store, and comics aren’t the darlings we once were, either in Hollywood or on the road. Most towns are infested with an overabundance of delusional pinheads who actually think they’re professional comedians because they made ten bucks opening for karaoke. Journeyman performers who’ve earned their stripes have a much harder time squeezing a living out of the road because the local clubs quite often exchange quality for not having to pay for motel rooms for competent acts. I’m feeling that pinch big time, and so is Nick. So are a lot of others from my generation and even previous ones too. It was never easy to be a good act and survive the road life, but now it’s really getting rough. There are way too many bad acts and even more halfwits who hire them, and the good acts suffer for it.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Vicarious Victory
Monday July 25th, 2011 - Palatine, IL I’ve got all kinds of inconveniences with my car to deal with, but I’m not complaining a bit. A month ago I was laid up in a hospital bed, not knowing whether I’d come out a boy, girl or something in between. Knowing my manhood was saved puts me in tip top spirits. Now, it’s back to the real world. What I thought was a transmission problem turned out to be a bad wheel bearing. It cost me $250 instead of $2500, so that was a break I needed right about now. The battery was also on it’s last legs, so that set me back another $97. It could have been a lot worse, so I’m going to say thanks and move on to the next chapter. Between running around all day I was able to share a wonderful moment with my friend Jim McHugh. Jim has been an exceptional friend for years, especially during this patch of bumpy road I’ve been going through. He’s been nothing but supportive, and calls often to see if I’m ok. Many others have done that too, and it’s given me strength to keep going. Jim and I are both big sports fans, and his son Connor plays American Legion baseball. I’ve known Connor for years, and he’s a hard working super sharp kid. Jim invited me to see the championship game this afternoon in Palatine, IL. I knew it was a big deal to both Jim and Connor, so I went to show support for all the times they’ve both shown it to me. I like baseball, so it was no problem. Jim’s eyes lit up as he saw me walk up to the field, and I knew I made the right choice. He was glad to see me, as I was glad to see him all the times he showed up to get me from the airport when I returned from my cruise ship gigs. The game was well played, and very exciting. From a baseball standpoint alone I wasn’t sorry I went. Connor made a nice catch in the outfield and hit the ball sharply his first two times at bat, but right at someone. I could see Jim’s frustration, but I was just happy to get a chance to be there. My old man never came to see me play baseball, or do anything else. The game was tied 2-2 going into the bottom of the 9th inning. Fate had Connor coming up to bat with two outs and two men on base. It was the ideal situation to be the hero, and have that special bonding moment between father and son. I sure didn’t want to inflict my horrendous luck anywhere near that moment, so I walked away from Jim as a courtesy. The situation got tense as the count went to full, and I was hoping with all my heart that Connor would get any kind of a hit and have a lasting memory. On the next pitch, the left handed batting Connor launched a rocket over the third baseman’s head and the fans went crazy. I was cheering wildly, and I could see Jim brushing a tear away. What a moment. I got a high five from him that felt like it broke my wrist, and then he put a bear hug on me that would have made Hulk Hogan proud. Tears were flowing and I didn’t blame him, but then he told me this would have been his father’s birthday and how special it was and I started crying myself. The roots of a family tree are thick, especially to those of us who never had a chance to experience it. I can’t be any happier for Connor, Jim and Jim’s dad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
