Friday July 1st, 2011 - Cary, IL Here we go with the second half of 2011, a year which will go down in infamy - at least for me. I sure didn’t expect to be in the precarious position I’m in six months or even six weeks ago, but here I am. There’s been another major detour on my personal road of life. My entire existence in this world has been such a series of detours, make dos and Plans B through Z that I’m not sure what or where the real road is. What’s ‘normal‘? Anything? Anybody? Dysfunction and insanity have been the only common thread in my world, and I’m growing a tad weary of playing the fool. Is there a lesson I keep missing in all of this? I sure am trying hard to see it if there is. One thing I know I’m learning is to let a lot of things go. I used to be perpetually pissed off about a plethora of problems, but now I’m in a whole different and much better place because I’ve had my world get shaken to the core so many times in so many ways. After a while, one just learns to deal with it and press on. The first time I remember the world really blowing up was when my grandparents split up when I was about twelve. My grandfather was my backbone and father figure, and his departure rocked my world. I still saw him after that, and we had a great relationship until he died, but at the time I thought the world was coming to an end. It didn’t, and still isn’t. I’ve survived radio firings in all four U.S. Time Zones, nasty car wrecks, getting kicked off the Bob and Tom show for reasons I still can’t identify, and having to testify against a person I thought was my lifelong friend who tried to pin a bank robbery he pulled on me. And those are only the top of mind highlights I can think of. There have been a lot more. I’m not saying I’m the only one to have problems, but mine seem to be rather unique for some reason. It would be nice to have someone to commiserate with, just so I can flush it out of my system and not feel so alone. It’s always easier to make it through when there is someone around who’s been down the road before. I feel like a one man crisis magnet. One thing I’m not going to do is panic. I’m going to let it go. Everything. I’m not afraid to die, and in fact part of me looks forward to it. The next world if there is one has to be a step up from this one. Still, there are good things about this one I still want to experience. I want to be of service to human kind, and the best way I can think of to do it is comedy. I don’t have to necessarily be performing myself to make that happen either. Producing the DVD for James Wesley Jackson has been extremely rewarding, and I’m working on a tour idea with my friends Don Reese, Dwight York and Dan Still. Those guys are grade A talents and even better human beings. These things excite me and make me one with life. Still, maybe that’s not the lesson I need to learn. Maybe there are no lessons. Maybe it’s all random, and I was a cosmic fluke - like the five legged cow at the carnival freak show. It sure does seem that way at times. All I ever wanted was to hang out in that pasture and moo with my bovine buddies, but that’s just not in the cards. Welcome to my freak show.
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