Financial Foolishness

Tuesday March 20^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   Sometimes I think I’m being smart, when in fact I’m just a big old stupid goof no matter what I do. I bought myself a spare car when I had a little extra cash, and I thought I was backing myself up in case of a problem. Little did I know it would end up becoming a part of the problem itself.

   Storage turned out to be an issue, and I’ve been paying for an outside storage space for the last several months. It’s a little over three miles from where I live, which is a healthy hike but not an impossible one. In a pinch, I can find a way to get there and have a spare vehicle waiting for me.

   Or so I thought. I went there last night to check on my trusty steed only to find it with three flat tires and a dead battery. I don’t know what kept the one tire inflated, but my spirits were about as flat as the other three. My main car is making some grinding noises, and I don’t have any cash in the bank to get it repaired at the moment. I thought I’d drive the spare one for a couple of weeks.

   I went back today with a manual air pump and some jumper cables and breathed some life back into the old jalopy. It really is a sweet little car, but I wish I hadn’t bought it. That money in hand would have done me a lot more good right now, or at least been a lot more convenient. Too late.

   I’m in a financial pickle, as I doubt if I could sell either tin can for what I have in them. Cash is king, and I’m fresh out right now. So is everyone else apparently. There are a couple of deadbeat slippery lowlifes that come to mind who still owe me over $2000 combined from car deals made several years ago, and that would come in very handy right about now. Will I ever see it? Nope.

   I love how people like to tell me to ‘just forget about it’ and ‘move on’, but if it were them that were owed that much money they’d pitch a royal hissy fit. I thought I was more than patient with those two turds, but they just continue to ignore the fact that they stole money and never made an attempt to pay me back what they owed. I shouldn’t have trusted them, but I did. I’M the moron.

   This is an extremely painful and cold hearted lesson that keeps on stinging, but I really do have to ‘just forget about it’ and ‘move on’. I’ll move on, but I won’t forget. I can’t. They’ve both had more than enough time to pay me back, but they haven’t. They have money for dope, but not me.

   I’m the dope for being so trusting, and I feel SO raped. I made both of those deals in good faith at the time, and didn’t get treated the same way in return. How could anyone with feelings not be infuriated? I’ll admit, I’m more than a little steamed - but the problem is much deeper than them.

   It boils down to me not being smart enough with my money. I’ve always been free to give it up when I’ve had it, and I thought it would keep coming forever. I’m in a down cycle right now, and it’s not flowing like it has in the past. I’ve never been rich rich, but I’ve usually squeezed by ok.

   Now the squeeze is on me, and I’m not in a position of power like I’ve been in the past. I’m out of savings, emergency funds and collectibles to sell. I suppose I could unload one of the cars, but it would be at a loss and only a temporary fix. Universe, I could use a break right about…NOW! 

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Sleepless In The Saddle

Monday March 19^th, 2012 – Rockford, IL/Fox Lake, IL

   Sleep? Who needs that? It’s way over rated anyway. I don’t have time for boring activities like that - I’ve got hip, happening places to be like Kenosha, WI and Rockford, IL. I’ll have plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead, which after today seems not far off. Who am I kidding? I’m OLD.

   I was dragging my ass big time as I got home from WLIP in Kenosha at 1am, but I wasn’t able to sleep more than an hour because I needed to pick up Jim McHugh by 3:30 to be able to get out to Rockford to be on WNTA by 5am. Am I completely insane? That depends on when you’d ask.

   When I’m on the air - no. When I’m driving on a lonely two lane country road with not a single other vehicle in either direction – a loud and heartfelt yes. What the hell am I doing with my life? I’ve gone from chasing low paying comedy gigs far from home to chasing low paying radio gigs, but at least they’re a little closer. The downside is the hours. Who wants to start their job at 5am?

   Morning radio hours have always been brutal, and I’m sure they’ve taken a few years off of my life already. I’ve had my share of getting up before the early bird, and it’s never fun. Most people who have ever worked in morning radio hate the hours, but it goes with the job. And it still rots.

    Doing the show with Jim makes it a lot more fun. Radio is still new to him, and he’s not jaded. Yet. It’s hard not to be, but there is a buzz that goes with it that’s similar to being on stage. It’s a lot of fun to be on the radio, and on stage too - but just like with comedy there is a price to pay.

   I said yes today mainly to help out Jim Stone. He’s the operations manager of the four stations in the building, but also does the morning show on WXRX – ‘The X’. He’s been doing mornings for years, and knows what that grind is like. He was doing afternoons for the last couple of years, but just had to get readjusted to mornings when they rearranged the schedule not that long ago.

   Jim McHugh and I had fun playing radio again for four hours, but no way would I want the gig full time. I’m not a current events based talk show host. That’s not what I do. The regular host is a very nice guy named Doug McDuff – a radio veteran. He’s a fixture in town, and good for him.

   There are people who are really good talk show hosts, and I respect that as a craft just as being a comedian is a craft. My friend Jerry Agar is great at what he does, and he works at it. He wants to be a talk show host, and that’s his focus. Mark Belling in Milwaukee is another example. He’s a very skilled talk show host, as is Rush Limbaugh. Like any of them or not, they’re competent.

   I’m just a warm body that Jim Stone could call who was willing to show up at 5am. It’s a really nice opportunity for me to get a chance to practice my hosting skills on a real station, but I’m not fooling myself into thinking I want to pursue it more than a fill in basis. Comedy is my first love.

   But again, love doesn’t pay the bills. This was a chance to make a few bucks, even though I am going to end up spending most of it to fill my gas tank. And I’m having some car trouble too. I’m too tired to worry about it now though. This was a long hard day. I’m not a young buck anymore.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Near Death Experiences

Sunday March 18^th, 2012 – Kenosha, WI

   Oh-oh. The old ‘time getting spread too thin’ trick again. I’ve seen this one before. I received a text message from Jim Stone at WNTA radio in Rockford, IL politely requesting me to fill in for the morning host tomorrow from 5-9am. I politely refused, as I had a lot of things on my plate.

   An hour later, I got another one – this one a little more urgent. Jim is the operations manager of four radio stations in one building, and that’s never an easy gig. He gets all kinds of headaches at the last minute he has deal with, and apparently he couldn’t find anyone to show up for the shift.

   I really like Jim, and I absolutely know what it’s like to be backed into a corner on short notice with few to zero options. He was in a pickle, and I felt the only right choice was to help him out, even though it would put me in a tight spot myself. My gut told me to say yes anyway, so I did.

   I already had my own prior radio commitment to attend to at WLIP in Kenosha, WI from 8pm to midnight tonight in ‘The Mothership Connection’. I worked all afternoon and into the evening coming up with a plan of attack on how to make that project turn a buck somehow, as it hasn’t.

   It’s been way too much effort to put out every week for this long with no financial return, even though it’s a lot of fun to do when we’re on the air. We have no trouble finding interesting guests from all areas of the unusual, and tonight was no exception. Dr. Raymond Moody was on with us for two full hours, and he’s probably THE top authority when it comes to near death experiences.

   He’s the one who coined the actual term ‘near death experience’, and has written several books of note on the subject. Who wouldn’t be interested in learning more? I’ve never met anyone who isn’t at least the tiniest bit curious about it. I know I am. His website is www.lifeafterlife.com.

   We could have had Dr. Moody on for the entire four hours, and I’m sure he’ll come back again pretty much whenever we ask. We always treat our guests with ultimate respect, but still manage to throw a few jokes in the mix to keep it lighthearted and interesting. It really opens people up.

   Our show is kind of a hybrid cross between ‘Coast To Coast AM’ and a wacky morning show, but it totally works. I’m getting to be a much better talk show host with practice, and I can totally see major improvement since the show started four years ago. I feel we’re ready to take the show to a higher level, but that will mean a total remake from the ground up. We need to get it in gear.

   Where we are now just isn’t cutting it. Yes, we’re on a real radio station. That’s a plus, as most shows of this nature are considered too ‘woo woo’ for mainstream radio. But we’ll never achieve any kind of following just being on in Kenosha, WI. No offense to Kenosha, but we need a much larger audience and that can only come with syndication or on the internet. Or both. It’s just fact.

   Fun is fun and this is, but that’s not enough. Passion projects don’t pay bills, so what do I need to do to get some cash flowing? Sponsorship would obviously help, but how does that happen? It doesn’t just fall out of the sky. I can’t think about it now, I have to be on air in Rockford at 5am.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Airplane Aggravation

Saturday March 17^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   As much as I’d love to keep knocking back free birthday week meals from everyone, sooner or later I knew I’d have to knuckle down and haul myself back to work. I chose sooner, as in today. I didn’t mind at all. I like to work - at least on projects in which I have a passion. I have all kinds of those, and they keep me busy enough for six people. Those I don’t mind. They keep me going.

   What loads me down and really sinks my canoe are all the things I have no desire to do. Those are the true buzz kills in life, yet they come up in some form or another every single day without fail. Sometimes it’s an annoying person or situation, other times a task. All of it is wasted time.

   Today it was switching my flight arrangements for April 13-14 when I’ll be in Tucson at Laffs. I was scheduled there last summer as I was dealing with my diabetes diagnosis, and had to cancel on short notice. The booker was very understanding, and totally professional. I really was unable to fulfill my obligation, and thankfully he gave me another chance. That doesn’t always happen.

   I’m a man of my word, and I said I’ll show up. I plan on it, but getting there is always a hassle. The last thing I care about is hunting down airline tickets online, but what choices do I have? My only other option is driving, but Chicago to Tucson with gas at over $4 a gallon would break me.

   Gas prices are killing everyone, but some of us faster than others. I hadn’t flown in a while and WOW did ticket prices go up. The cheapest I was able to find for the days I need to go was about double what I expected to pay. That didn’t cut it, so I had to do some creative thrift management.

   I was able to score a somewhat reasonably priced ticket on Southwest from Milwaukee, only it had a couple of stops and didn’t land in Tucson until 10:20pm. I had to bump it back to Thursday the 12^th so I could make the Friday show, but that would cost a hotel room. Too bad, that was my only option. I bought the ticket a few days ago, thinking I was done. Wrong. There was a glitch.

   The booker sent me an email telling me he had a one nighter on the Thursday and could use me if I could get to town earlier than 10:20. That meant I had to change my flight, which is always a hassle. It’s less of a hassle with Southwest, but it’s still a hassle. I just don’t enjoy stuff like that.

   In a perfect world, I’d hire someone to take care of trivial minutia like that, but that isn’t going to happen in the near future. I’m a one man band, and that’s part of the job description whether I like it or not – and I don’t. It uses up valuable time I could be using to create products I can sell.

   So now, I am flying out on Wednesday the 11^th and landing at 10:20. I have the Thursday show added and then the Friday and Saturday is at Laffs. That’s a fun place, and I will tear the roof off. But then I’m stuck in town until Tuesday morning at 6am, as that’s the cheapest flight I found.

   I will worry about where I’ll stay later. For now, this was the best flight deal I could get. It took way too long to get it all hashed out, and it’s for a gig that’s a month out. It took me way off grid for work I was doing today, and I feel like I wasted time. But I had to. Still think comedy’s easy?

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Good Times With Good People

Friday March 16^th, 2012 – Carpentersville, IL/Kenosha, WI

   The birthday hangover continues, and I’m not complaining. Life is a constant series of ups and downs, and I’m learning to savor every second of the up times. They’ll be gone soon enough, but then they’ll come back again. It’s a streak thing. I’m going to ride this wave as long as possible.

   A couple of weeks ago, I was stuck in a rut where nothing went right. I was losing gigs left and right, my car was giving me fits and I was mired in a slump. One bad thing seemed to build upon the next, and it was miserable. Now it’s exactly the opposite. One fun thing is leading to the next and I’m enjoying every minute of it. I wish it were like this always, but it isn’t. But it is for now.

   It’s much like the amazing weather we’re having. Of course it will change again at some point, but the smart thing to do is squeeze as much pleasure from the sun and warmth as possible before the sleet comes back again. That can last for several days too, but those days pass much slower.

   This streak has been truly remarkable. I can’t remember it ever being this summer like for this long of a stretch in mid-March in Illinois. I’ve seen the weather reports and it’s warmer here now than traditional hotspots like Florida and Arizona. I don’t care if it’s a fluke or not, I’m loving it.

   Today I had three more birthday meals in my honor, and who could be anything but delighted about that? Even one is a special treat, but so far I’ve had FIVE – with a couple more on the way. I’m not going to fight any of this; I’m just going to enjoy it. It will all be over with soon enough.

   For breakfast, I met up with Jerry Agar’s wife Ann and their kids Cooper and Kaelin. They are in town from Toronto visiting friends on spring break and also getting their house in Cary ready to be sold soon. They’re going through a tough time, but that’s how it is in radio. Jerry shouldn’t have been gassed at WLS, and they should still be living there. But it didn’t work out that way.

   That’s radio - and life too. This can be a cruel planet, especially when idiots have a say in what happens to someone’s future. Jerry paid his radio dues and brought his family to Chicago with an intention they’d stay for the long haul. He did his part, and then was booted for no good reason.

   Now the family has to move to another country to survive, and they have no choice. Those kids have a big adjustment, and it’s not fair. They’re dealing with it very well, but that whole situation makes me sick to my stomach. But it was great to relax for a little while and visit with them all.

   Lunch was in Kenosha, WI with Mark Gumbinger. He is working on putting our ‘Dented Can’ DVD project in the hands of people who can sell it to some TV network somewhere in the world. If I’m a star in New Zealand or Guam, I’ll take it. We now have a finished product to place in the hands of people, and that’s what’s being done. We had a delicious meal and a lot of laughs too.

   Dinner was with a nice young lady, and also very relaxed and fun. The food and company were excellent, and again all I could do was enjoy the moment. It doesn’t always work out as perfectly as this, but today it happened three times in a row. Good times with good people can’t be beat.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

A Sweet Sequel

Thursday March 15^th, 2012 – Rockford, IL/Hoffman Estates, IL

   I’m still riding the mighty high of my spectacular birthday yesterday. What a special day it was all around, and I wish I could bottle it up and squirt some of that vibe all over me when I need it. I’m still getting belated wishes today, and it can’t feel any better. It’s like I’m attending my own wake, but in a good way. This is the same feeling I had when I was on the Craig Ferguson show.

   People reached out then just like now and threw in a good word and told me how much I meant to them or recalled something nice I did – mostly things I’d forgotten about. I do try very hard to be a good person, but all too often I feel like I’ve never made even a tiny impression on anyone.

   I guess I have judging by the overwhelmingly positive responses I received in the last 24 hours, even though I still feel like I’ve got a long way to go to really accomplish anything. I’m flattered beyond words to get such wonderful kind thoughts from so many, and I need to learn to accept it.

   It’s really a matter of choosing what to focus on in life. Seeing that old glass as indeed half full needs to become a habit, and I can’t honestly say that it is right now. Sometimes I do let my eyes wander and spend too much time and energy on what’s wrong with life or what I don’t have, and that’s not smart business. Yes, I do have problems, but so does everyone. That’s a rotten excuse.

   What I need to do is make a detailed list of what I want in life and all the positive things I have going for me, and spend every single drop of my energy there. Why would I ever need to use up even one precious brain cell ever again for anything other than achieving my goals and dreams?

   I can’t think of a single reason. People who don’t like me can French kiss my ass. I don’t wish them harm; I just don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t have time for petty tripe. I have a towering stack of fun projects to get to, and time is limited. Life is now a race against the clock.

   Today was a nice sequel to yesterday, and a lot of good things happened. The weather was still spectacular, and I believe a record was set for the highest temperature ever recorded just as it was yesterday. Jim McHugh and I again filled in for the afternoon show on WNTA in Rockford, IL.

   Everyone at the station is extremely friendly, and we’re feeling like we’re part of the team. We treat everyone with respect, and that’s what we get back. After the show, Jim invited me over for a delicious rib eye steak dinner he cooked on his grill in honor of my birthday. It was delicious.

   I’m also feeling positive progress on ‘The Unshow’ pod cast with Jeff Schneider. We’re part of a new website called ‘PKNRadio’ and we’re on twice a week with our half hour of talk. I think it could lead to bigger things, and the time is right to be evolving from terrestrial radio to the web.

   The site is www.pknradio.com and apparently we’ve already had over 150 downloads after our first appearance. I don’t know what they think, but I think that’s fantastic. I’ve paid my dues and then some in both comedy and radio. It’s high time both of them paid me back – with interest.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Yearly Maintenance

Tuesday March 13th, 2012 - Fox Lake, IL

   Tomorrow is my birthday, and today is the perfect day to take a few minutes to examine every aspect of my life in detail with as much objectivity as possible to assess where I am on every level and decide where I want to go. It was a very eventful year to say the least.

   By far and away my diabetes diagnosis was the biggest thing I’ve had to deal with. It’s a life changer, but mostly in a good way. I don’t think I’ve ever had this long of a consistent streak of eating well and regular exercise, at least not as an adult. That has been a gigantic step in a positive direction, as I feel better than I can ever remember. What a turnaround.

   I haven’t had a single soda in going on nine months, and I wouldn’t have believed that’s humanly possible just a short year ago. I was hooked for many years, and I’m sure it’s had a negative effect on my health but at least I’ve kicked it and can’t see myself going back.

   Physical health is important, and I’m finally starting to improve in that area for a lasting basis. I intend to keep that up, and hopefully it will lead to good things in other areas also. One thing I notice is an almost miraculous improvement is my depression spells are gone. I used to get some hellish blasts for many years, but it seems to have totally disappeared.

   That’s very encouraging, but everything else is still a little shaky for my tastes. Earning a living is becoming an issue, and I need to transform myself completely from a nightclub comedian to something else a little more unique. Nightclub comedians per se are way less than a dime for a dozen dozen these days, and I don’t want to get mixed in with the rest.

   Twenty years ago it might have been at least a little different to be a full time comedian, but now it’s getting tougher and tougher for many reasons. The overabundance of horrible acts who will work for pathetic money has cut into the ability for seasoned pros like me to command top dollar, at least on the club level. It’s getting watered down more and more.

   I don’t think radio is the answer either. Radio people are getting fired left and right also, and the one word that gets the biggest laugh when describing a radio career is ‘stability’. I do enjoy being on the air, but there’s just no money in it - not enough to live on anyway.

   All signs are pointing to being an entrepreneur. That’s scary in a lot of ways, as there is not a lot of security in that and zero guarantees of success. I’ve never been afraid to take a risk and roll the dice on wild projects, but that’s going to stop in the near future. I’m at an age where security really does sound pretty good. But how does anyone manage to get it?

   The whole world is changing so fast, it’s difficult to keep up with anything these days. I know I’m not the only one in this position, but I’m in it and don’t know what the solution is other than to keep slugging. I’m trying, but it sure isn’t easy. Life has got a few tricks.

   I’m doing well in some areas, and not so well in others. I’m not the best, but I’m not the worst either. I am above ground, and that’s a plus. Let’s see what this next year will bring.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary