Festering Finances

Friday April 9th, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL

Everything in life always has to boil down to money. Why is that? People say it doesn’t, but it absolutely does. I’ve always said 95% of my problems can be directly traced back to a lack of money, and I still think it’s true today. Why do people continue to stay employed at a job they can’t stand? They need the money. We all do. It makes us all do crazy things.

Some people inherit it, only to piss it away on frivolous baubles and trinkets. Others get a feel for it early in life and invest it so it works for them. Most of us never receive even a bit of training as to how to use it and by the time we discover that it’s too late to recover.

I feel myself wallowing in a real danger zone and I sure don’t want to be stuck here the rest of my life. It’s been difficult enough to piece together a meager living all these years much less to go on any kind of saving plan, but I still could have done a whole lot better.

I did have some savings as recently as a couple of years ago, and I kept my credit cards down to zero on a regular basis. Those days are long gone, mostly because of my regular trips to the dentist chair to get a face full of root canals, and my generous nature to those who have stuck it to me in return. Those people hurt me more than the root canal needles.

Paul Kelly owes me $500 for a car I sold him several years ago. Will Clifton owes $900 for a car I sold him for his son, who apparently wrecked it a short time later. JD the owner of JD’s Comedy Café in Milwaukee still owes me $400 for shows I did in 1994 which my instincts told me to file a small claim for, but I was talked out of it by the former booker.

I can think of a few other instances too, but those three alone would be $1800 I’d use to pay for my CD that was supposed to be shipped today but apparently wasn’t. I know I am by far not the only one to have money owed to him, but I’m angry with myself for letting it happen - especially more than once. I was trying to be ‘nice’, but that just doesn’t cut it.

I love the scene in Goodfellas where Robert DeNiro’s character sees the commercial on TV for Morrie, the guy who sells toupees. DeNiro flips out when he sees it and grabs the cord from a nearby phone and starts choking Morrie. That’s exactly how I’m feeing now.

I’m not a violent guy at all, but this kind of stuff really bothers me. I tried to reason with all three of those grease balls, but they just laughed about it and told me to piss off. Here I sit, drenched in piss, but out $1800 that’s rightfully mine. Who do I blame for this? ME.

I never should have sold cars on credit and I never should have let JD slide on that $400 without filing a suit in court. These are painful lessons that continue to haunt me when it matters most. That money would have paid for my CD project, and now is when I need it.

These are painful lessons in life, and I wish I wouldn’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again but apparently I do. I should have savings put away and have a lot of streams of income coming in. But I don’t. It’s up to me to revamp my financial situation.