Monday May 9th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL I just finished up a solid three week run of shows, but have precious little to show for it. It feels like I just threw a giant party at my house, but was too busy working to please my guests that I didn’t have time to have fun myself. Now it’s over, and I’ve got a gargantuan mess to clean up, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t know where to start, but I know need to. In many ways, my life is a mess right now. Much of it is due to my continued lack of an organized plan of attack, and I admit it. It’s not an excuse, but it is a major reason. I won’t deny that what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been doing it is not even close to my idea of how it should be, and I need to make some major changes. My plans just aren’t working. Some of them are, but not nearly consistently enough to make any real progress. I’m in a rut and spinning my tires. There might be some squealing and smoke, but I’m not out of it by a long shot. I need to rethink my whole life and once again return to the start position. Those three weeks as a whole were actually pretty good as far as shows go. That part of my life is doing as well as it ever has, but I’m deathly afraid if I neglect it even for a little while, I’ll lose my comedy chops. I’m in a groove right now as far as that goes, but every other facet of my life looks like a tornado went through it and destroyed everything alive. I feel like I’ve been gone the last three weeks, and that’s not what I want. I didn’t make as much money as I have in the past with gas prices in the stratosphere, and I also had my hands full with a lot of stressful situations I’m not able to get into now, but will discuss at length shortly. There’s a stressful situation brewing, and when it pops I’ll be worse for it. The bottom line is, I had some very good comedy shows recently. None of them had an impact on a career though, and that’s where I’m sorely lacking. I’m bogged down by a lot of projects on my plate and the fact that I’m a one man band trying to play a symphony. It isn’t working, and I need to implement the help of many others if I’m to make it all work. Time to back up and start the process over again. I’ve lost count at how many times I’ve done that, but when it doesn’t work what else is there to do? If I’d continue just stumbling along like I am, that would assure I wouldn’t get what I want, or think I want. I need a big master vision which is able to be chopped down into daily, weekly and monthly versions. This is not going to be easy, and I’ve always known that. I feel like I make a little bit of progress, then slide back and erase it all. It’s frustrating, but I have to make a living and it sometimes throws a major detour in my path. I’ve got a lot of things brewing now, maybe too many. I’ve got some time now to reassess the big picture and again start a new plan. I made a list of the projects I want to work on, and it was a big one. I’ve got the ‘Schlitz Happened!’ show, comedy classes, The Mothership Connection radio show on WLIP, the DVD project with James Wesley Jackson, a comedy tour with Don Reese, Dan Still and Dwight York, and a project I’ve been approached on about sports comedy. That’s plenty.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment