Thursday February 12th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL/Franklin, WI
Good friends are by far my biggest asset and right when I need them most the best ones are coming through for me. I put the word out a few days ago I could use a little input on my TV set and I sent a copy out to my closest comedy friends I thought could be of help.
The replies have been rolling in from everywhere and they’ve all had a lot of excellent suggestions I can use to make the set even better. That’s why I asked them to look it over in the first place. It’s good to have ‘fresh eyes’ look something over especially when I am so close to it. I am breaking new ground with this method so a little help goes a long way.
I’ve helped countless people myself over the years so I don’t feel guilty about this at all. Many comedians especially of the newer generation would never think of using writers or help from other comics but that’s not how I think at all. If I can make my set better I will.
Gene Perret was Bob Hope’s head writer for many years. He and I have been friends for many years and I always value his opinion. He’s a true comedy master and I never abuse a favor with him. He knows if I ask for something it’s special and I asked him to take a fast peek at my set and tell me what he thought. He wrote back today with some SOLID notes.
He wrote routines for Bob Hope in the Vietnam jungle so he understands the concept of what pressure and deadlines are better than most. I explained that I wanted to be prepared for my shot and he agreed that I was doing the right thing. He changed a little of my word rhythm to flow better and after looking at it again it absolutely does. He knows his stuff.
Bill Gorgo also did some editing on the set and smoothed out a few more areas that had some extra words. That’s what makes it better and I appreciated the effort. I also got some useful suggestions from Kevin Burke and Richard Halasz and Jerry Agar had a very good suggestion on how to shorten up one of the lines. I’ll take these and rework the set again.
The talent coordinator for the Late Late Show has been very supportive. She gave me an opportunity to rework it one more time before she sends it in for the final submission so it can be reviewed by the network censors apparently. I’m not worried at all now. It’s a very solid set with some nice jokes and a good flow. I can make a good impression if I nail it.
I have no reason to believe I won’t. I will finish it up and then work on it until I am sick of it and then I’ll work on it some more. This is what I need to do to get on television and there is NO excuse as to why I shouldn’t do this. Fear and nervousness are out the door.
I kept up my walking today in the Gurnee Mills Mall. I’ve been going there so much the security guards are starting to get to know me. They nod when I walk by and I’ll nod back but I don’t stop walking and today I worked up a full sweat and took two laps in the mall.
Little by little all this is coming together. It’s only a month away but I’m training for it a day at a time. Three days down - twenty five to go. I’m going to give this my full effort.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
What Is It I Want?
Wednesday February 11th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL
Self inflicted boot camp day two. So far so good. I made some good decisions today but they’re ones I should be making every day and don’t. Maybe this will help me finally take charge of my life like I always threaten to and then get sidetracked by fifty other things.
Those fifty other things are still out there but for at least the next month I want to avoid letting them take me out of my groove. I need to go out to L.A. and knock out a solid four and a half minute comedy set on March 10th. Period. I want to be in a positive mental and physical and even spiritual place when I get there. I want this to be the start of my career.
I’ve said it before and it’s true - I’ve had a job in show business my whole life but never a career. I’ve never done anything that builds to anything significant even though I’ve had a couple of times I thought something might pop. I’ve worked hard but never had that big break that’s necessary to launch someone into a career. Everyone needs to find that break.
The good thing is everyone starts where I did too. Some have more talent and others are luckier but everyone starts out as an unknown at some point. The Michael Jacksons of the world get recognized early and it’s a life long career even if he’s cooled off a lot by now.
The Willie Nelsons and Rodney Dangerfields of the world are exactly the opposite. I’m in their category and those guys struggled and fought a lot longer than they probably had to but that’s how it went for them. They made it later rather than sooner but they made it.
‘Making it’ is different depending on who is asked to define the term. For me making it would be having a significant number of the public know who I am and come see me at a live show. They could know me from television appearances or a radio show but I want a solid fan base of intelligent people who love comedy and I want to serve them all well.
I’d love to have financial security but only so I could be free to create more and give of myself more. My needs and wants are ridiculously low at this point and it wouldn’t take a whole lot to get me there in a hurry. After that I’d focus on giving away as much of what I had as possible so I could spread it around a little. The fun part of life for me is creating.
I want to have a career body of work to look back on that I can be proud of. I would like to have several more CD and/or DVD projects of quality standup comedy that makes my fans laugh and also is studied by comedians because it’s well done. That takes hard work.
I want to also keep on teaching classes and allow others to experience the thrill of being up there on that stage. That’s been one of the best things I’ve done and there’s no reason I need to stop any time soon. It keeps me around creativity and quality people and I love it.
It all starts with a successful TV credit. That puts me on a level I need to be to make the other things happen. Management would be nice too. I need to start thinking on a level of where I want to be and doing low paying seedy one nighters isn’t it. I want a career now.
Self inflicted boot camp day two. So far so good. I made some good decisions today but they’re ones I should be making every day and don’t. Maybe this will help me finally take charge of my life like I always threaten to and then get sidetracked by fifty other things.
Those fifty other things are still out there but for at least the next month I want to avoid letting them take me out of my groove. I need to go out to L.A. and knock out a solid four and a half minute comedy set on March 10th. Period. I want to be in a positive mental and physical and even spiritual place when I get there. I want this to be the start of my career.
I’ve said it before and it’s true - I’ve had a job in show business my whole life but never a career. I’ve never done anything that builds to anything significant even though I’ve had a couple of times I thought something might pop. I’ve worked hard but never had that big break that’s necessary to launch someone into a career. Everyone needs to find that break.
The good thing is everyone starts where I did too. Some have more talent and others are luckier but everyone starts out as an unknown at some point. The Michael Jacksons of the world get recognized early and it’s a life long career even if he’s cooled off a lot by now.
The Willie Nelsons and Rodney Dangerfields of the world are exactly the opposite. I’m in their category and those guys struggled and fought a lot longer than they probably had to but that’s how it went for them. They made it later rather than sooner but they made it.
‘Making it’ is different depending on who is asked to define the term. For me making it would be having a significant number of the public know who I am and come see me at a live show. They could know me from television appearances or a radio show but I want a solid fan base of intelligent people who love comedy and I want to serve them all well.
I’d love to have financial security but only so I could be free to create more and give of myself more. My needs and wants are ridiculously low at this point and it wouldn’t take a whole lot to get me there in a hurry. After that I’d focus on giving away as much of what I had as possible so I could spread it around a little. The fun part of life for me is creating.
I want to have a career body of work to look back on that I can be proud of. I would like to have several more CD and/or DVD projects of quality standup comedy that makes my fans laugh and also is studied by comedians because it’s well done. That takes hard work.
I want to also keep on teaching classes and allow others to experience the thrill of being up there on that stage. That’s been one of the best things I’ve done and there’s no reason I need to stop any time soon. It keeps me around creativity and quality people and I love it.
It all starts with a successful TV credit. That puts me on a level I need to be to make the other things happen. Management would be nice too. I need to start thinking on a level of where I want to be and doing low paying seedy one nighters isn’t it. I want a career now.
Four Weeks To Ferguson
Tuesday February 10th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
T-minus twenty-eight days on the nose and counting until I make my national television comedy debut on the Craig Ferguson show in Los Angeles. Actually that’s only when I’m recording it in front of that good old ‘live studio audience‘. The air date has not been set.
It will air whenever it does but my main focus for the next four weeks is to be READY for that taping date. I’ve been a comedian my whole life so it’s not a matter of wondering if I can do the job. I can. I’ve done it literally thousands of times in just as many venues.
I’ve gotten laughs all over North America and know how to be funny on stage. This is a matter of doing THIS job and doing it well. I looked back at my four and a half minute set I submitted months ago and it’s not that bad in retrospect. There are some good lines in it.
It flows pretty well even though the material I chose I don’t usually perform in an order like this I still think I’ll be able to polish it up and test it many times and then go out there and let it rip. If nothing else I will get a great experience of being on a national TV show.
I went through my list of trusted comedy minds and sent a copy of my set to all of them. I asked them to go through it and see if there are any glaring weaknesses or duds that need to be pulled out immediately. I didn’t see any but that’s why I asked. I’d rather have it out of the mix now rather than go on TV and drop a big horse dump. It’s just smart business.
That’s what all of this is - smart business. I don’t need to go out and do a television shot to pump up my ego. I’ve made a living at comedy for a lifetime and that’s no easy task for anyone. What this does is adds legitimacy to my efforts and proof that I can do the job for future potential people who will hire me. I’m going out there to make a new tape for gigs.
Hopefully I’ll make some new connections too. I need to reconnect with the Foxworthy management people and get that contact going. Now I’ll have something to show them at the meeting that’s fresh off the griddle. Not everyone has that option so I’ll use it wisely.
I’ve got four weeks to do a personal boot camp. I bought a whole body cleanse and that takes two weeks to clean the toxins out of my body allegedly. I’m sure I probably have all kinds of nasty germs and buildup in my colon so hopefully I can start blasting it out so I’ll be in good spirits four weeks from now. I won’t be a finished product but I’ll be better.
I also have started my daily walks again. I went to the Gurnee Mills Mall both yesterday and today and completed a full lap each day and was sweating when I finished. That’s the kind of thing I should be doing every day but I haven’t been. I want to get myself ready.
Between having my trusted friends make notes on my set and me walking every day and eating better and cleaning out my toxins and inner sludge I should be in good shape. I like deadlines because it causes me to focus and with my scatterbrained left handedness it’s an absolute must. First day of boot camp complete. Four weeks and counting to my taping.
T-minus twenty-eight days on the nose and counting until I make my national television comedy debut on the Craig Ferguson show in Los Angeles. Actually that’s only when I’m recording it in front of that good old ‘live studio audience‘. The air date has not been set.
It will air whenever it does but my main focus for the next four weeks is to be READY for that taping date. I’ve been a comedian my whole life so it’s not a matter of wondering if I can do the job. I can. I’ve done it literally thousands of times in just as many venues.
I’ve gotten laughs all over North America and know how to be funny on stage. This is a matter of doing THIS job and doing it well. I looked back at my four and a half minute set I submitted months ago and it’s not that bad in retrospect. There are some good lines in it.
It flows pretty well even though the material I chose I don’t usually perform in an order like this I still think I’ll be able to polish it up and test it many times and then go out there and let it rip. If nothing else I will get a great experience of being on a national TV show.
I went through my list of trusted comedy minds and sent a copy of my set to all of them. I asked them to go through it and see if there are any glaring weaknesses or duds that need to be pulled out immediately. I didn’t see any but that’s why I asked. I’d rather have it out of the mix now rather than go on TV and drop a big horse dump. It’s just smart business.
That’s what all of this is - smart business. I don’t need to go out and do a television shot to pump up my ego. I’ve made a living at comedy for a lifetime and that’s no easy task for anyone. What this does is adds legitimacy to my efforts and proof that I can do the job for future potential people who will hire me. I’m going out there to make a new tape for gigs.
Hopefully I’ll make some new connections too. I need to reconnect with the Foxworthy management people and get that contact going. Now I’ll have something to show them at the meeting that’s fresh off the griddle. Not everyone has that option so I’ll use it wisely.
I’ve got four weeks to do a personal boot camp. I bought a whole body cleanse and that takes two weeks to clean the toxins out of my body allegedly. I’m sure I probably have all kinds of nasty germs and buildup in my colon so hopefully I can start blasting it out so I’ll be in good spirits four weeks from now. I won’t be a finished product but I’ll be better.
I also have started my daily walks again. I went to the Gurnee Mills Mall both yesterday and today and completed a full lap each day and was sweating when I finished. That’s the kind of thing I should be doing every day but I haven’t been. I want to get myself ready.
Between having my trusted friends make notes on my set and me walking every day and eating better and cleaning out my toxins and inner sludge I should be in good shape. I like deadlines because it causes me to focus and with my scatterbrained left handedness it’s an absolute must. First day of boot camp complete. Four weeks and counting to my taping.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Check Your Checks
Monday February 9th, 2009 - Chicago, IL
Just when I thought I could move on from my Memphis experience a Mr. Lucky glitch rolls in and I’m right back to dealing with it again. I normally won’t take a check from an out of state club but if I trust anyone in America it’s the people at Comedy, TN. So I did.
I’ve done it before and have never had a problem. Today I took the check to my bank to deposit it and the teller informed me I wouldn’t be able to do that because the amounts on the ‘written out’ line and the ‘numbers’ line didn’t match. I never would have noticed it.
Taking a check is never a preference and over the years most people pay in cash after an engagement whether it’s one night or a whole week. Many places pay by check but then it can be immediately cashed in house should the comic choose to do that. Most of us do.
What had happened was the person writing the check forgot to write the word ‘hundred’ after the first part so it was a huge discrepancy and the bank wouldn’t let it slide. I have to get a new check written for the correct amount. One would think they could make a quick phone call to Memphis and talk to the club manager or the bank and clear it all up. Nope.
I called John Marks and left a message and he called back in about an hour or so. He’s a comic too so he understands and he couldn’t have been any more apologetic. I told him to relax because it was an honest mistake which it was. He offered to overnight a new check but I told him to just mail it and save the $30. He told me he‘d do it and I know he will.
It is kind of funny that it happened to me though. Mr. Lucky’s legend grows every time a quirky thing like this happens and too many have happened in my lifetime to count. It’s been a hell of a ride but it sure provides entertainment for a lot of people. This will be yet another tale of the unusual that will make the rounds on my behalf. I’m used to it by now.
This could have been a real disaster in another situation. I’m glad I don’t make it a habit to take checks because things like this happen all the time. One time I was working down in Blacksburg, VA across from Virginia Tech where they do a weekly show in a Holiday Inn that’s actually quite good. The hotel manager forgot to sign only my check. Game on.
I left town and couldn’t cash it so I had to mail it back to them and get another one sent to me and it was a month or so before I got my money. They admit they’d made the error but I was the one who had to hunt it down and get my money. It’s the cost of business.
This check from Memphis was signed and I always check that now so that’s all I needed to do - or so I thought. I checked the amount too and it was correct. What I didn’t check is the line where the amount is written out. That’s where the mistake was so I overlooked it.
This is a great lesson for comedians or anyone in business - NEVER TAKE A CHECK. Period. And if you have to check ALL that can go wrong with it. Check the date. Check it for signature(s). Check to make sure the amount is right. Everywhere. Check your checks.
Just when I thought I could move on from my Memphis experience a Mr. Lucky glitch rolls in and I’m right back to dealing with it again. I normally won’t take a check from an out of state club but if I trust anyone in America it’s the people at Comedy, TN. So I did.
I’ve done it before and have never had a problem. Today I took the check to my bank to deposit it and the teller informed me I wouldn’t be able to do that because the amounts on the ‘written out’ line and the ‘numbers’ line didn’t match. I never would have noticed it.
Taking a check is never a preference and over the years most people pay in cash after an engagement whether it’s one night or a whole week. Many places pay by check but then it can be immediately cashed in house should the comic choose to do that. Most of us do.
What had happened was the person writing the check forgot to write the word ‘hundred’ after the first part so it was a huge discrepancy and the bank wouldn’t let it slide. I have to get a new check written for the correct amount. One would think they could make a quick phone call to Memphis and talk to the club manager or the bank and clear it all up. Nope.
I called John Marks and left a message and he called back in about an hour or so. He’s a comic too so he understands and he couldn’t have been any more apologetic. I told him to relax because it was an honest mistake which it was. He offered to overnight a new check but I told him to just mail it and save the $30. He told me he‘d do it and I know he will.
It is kind of funny that it happened to me though. Mr. Lucky’s legend grows every time a quirky thing like this happens and too many have happened in my lifetime to count. It’s been a hell of a ride but it sure provides entertainment for a lot of people. This will be yet another tale of the unusual that will make the rounds on my behalf. I’m used to it by now.
This could have been a real disaster in another situation. I’m glad I don’t make it a habit to take checks because things like this happen all the time. One time I was working down in Blacksburg, VA across from Virginia Tech where they do a weekly show in a Holiday Inn that’s actually quite good. The hotel manager forgot to sign only my check. Game on.
I left town and couldn’t cash it so I had to mail it back to them and get another one sent to me and it was a month or so before I got my money. They admit they’d made the error but I was the one who had to hunt it down and get my money. It’s the cost of business.
This check from Memphis was signed and I always check that now so that’s all I needed to do - or so I thought. I checked the amount too and it was correct. What I didn’t check is the line where the amount is written out. That’s where the mistake was so I overlooked it.
This is a great lesson for comedians or anyone in business - NEVER TAKE A CHECK. Period. And if you have to check ALL that can go wrong with it. Check the date. Check it for signature(s). Check to make sure the amount is right. Everywhere. Check your checks.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
An All Day Sucker
Sunday February 8th, 2009 - Memphis, TN/Kenosha, WI
Memphis will always have pleasant memories for me no matter if I’m ever booked here again or not. After the late show last night I said my final goodbyes at the club to the staff and they were all very complimentary of my show and said they always thought I was one of if not the most favorite comics that came through town. And a few may have meant it.
Actually I think they all meant it. I usually try to keep to myself with a club’s staff for a lot of reasons. I’m never rude but I don’t go out of my way to hang out with them because I don’t think anything good ever comes out of it. Sure, it’s fun for those who might like to party a little but as for me it’s always been smart business to let them come to me first.
IF someone on the staff decides to talk to me I try to be as nice as humanly possible as I do to all who approach me but looking to befriend them is a different story. I’ve seen a lot of strange things happen between comics and club staff on a lot of levels and I don’t want to bog myself down with that. I’ve got enough other problems to work on in my own life.
One of them was riding eleven hours home with my comedian tag along friend that now ranks as my biggest mistake of 2009 so far. By the time we hit St. Louis I wanted to get a cab and pay someone else to drive me home just so I could get some peace and quiet.
I like to be quiet in the car when I drive long distances. I always have. I like to allow all my ideas to float around my head and then leak out my ear for me to bounce around for a while and think it over. Sure I like music and sports talk and I listen to stuff but as a rule I like to keep it quiet because it allows me to think and be creative. That’s just how I like it.
Of course he is exactly the opposite and insisted on playing me HIS favorites which was bad enough until he started singing along with them at the top of his voice. I truly wanted to drive into an oncoming train to stop the pain but I sat and gritted my teeth for the entire 650 mile trip. This is the kind of mind torture the Chinese have been using for centuries.
He really is a harmless person and doesn’t mean to be anything but positive and in fact I can’t stop him from talking about being positive because he corrects me every time I may let a negative statement leak out. He’s not only a glass is half full kind of guy he wants to walk around with a pitcher filling up everyone else’s glass whether they want it or not.
I’m sure he means well but by the Missouri state line I was considering the positives of a murder/suicide and making a pretty good case to myself. By the time we got to Chicago my nerves were frazzled and my energy was drained and we drove eleven hours together from 4:30am to 3:30pm. I felt like I had just finished a marathon doing the crab walk.
We’ve worked together before and it’s worked out ok but this time it was a chore and a hassle and I don’t know how to deal with it in the future. We have a booking coming up a couple of weeks from now but it’s one night and only a couple of hours away. I’m hoping to just move on and next time he asks to tag along with me I don’t answer my phone.
I hate to be that way but I have no patience for stuff like this. I try to be polite and think of the other person and avoid conflicts and confrontations and clashes whenever I can but this whole trip pushed every single button I have and right now I feel like I’m worn out. It was a complete lack of fun for me but I don’t think he has any idea he made that happen.
Could I tell him? I guess so but would that change anything? I doubt it. People are who they are and I respect that. I’m the first one to admit I’m a loopy bastard filled with quirks but they’re MY quirks and I know how to deal with them. I don’t need to baby sit others.
Many years I worked with Shirley Hemphill from the TV show ’What’s Happening?’ It was the first celebrity I ever worked with for a whole week and I sure did get an education from her. She was from the mountains of North Carolina and shot straight from the hip. If she liked or didn’t like something she’d let everyone know and then nobody was unsure.
I watched how she handled herself and she ALWAYS drove herself places like to do an interview on radio or TV. She never wanted to be beholden to someone to pick her up and she took responsibility. She also NEVER took a free meal from anyone. She paid for it in full because then if she didn’t like something she could complain about it without guilt.
I thought that was a little harsh when I first saw it but now I realize she did the very best thing she could have done and kept control of the situation. If the guy that’s with me sang in her rental car she’d have either thrown him out or tried to out sing him herself but it’s a call she would have made herself. I didn’t want to make it because I was trying to be nice.
‘Nice’ never does it. It just doesn’t. Nice people get shot in the head or mugged or taken advantage of in a Bernie Madoff money scam. Nice people have to foot the bill for all the others who aren’t so nice and that alone makes me want to puke up my vanilla pudding.
I’m a nice guy too. I think I’m doomed but that’s just who I am. I try to help everyone I can in any way I can but even when I can’t I don’t try to annoy them on purpose. This is a situation where I think the guy doesn’t see how much energy he drained from me all week and how I don’t even want to deal with it anymore. I just don’t want to be near this vibe.
I’ve got work to do in a lot of areas. I know that. If I keep letting this kind of stuff take a foothold it’s going to drain all the positive energy I do have and I can’t afford that now. It isn’t doing any good for me to have wasted a whole other week dealing with all this stuff.
On a good note the Mothership Connection radio show on AM 1050 WLIP in Kenosha, WI went great again tonight. We had interesting guests and interested callers and we are a work in progress but one worth paying both dues and attention. This is a very good team.
Driving 650 miles from Memphis starting at 4:30am and being a worn out babbling half wit didn’t help the show prep or make it better. Still, we had an interesting program and if I stay around here I have to believe I can at least avoid the physical hell of being in an old car driving from an old hotel hearing an old comic telling me old stories. THAT’S old.
Memphis will always have pleasant memories for me no matter if I’m ever booked here again or not. After the late show last night I said my final goodbyes at the club to the staff and they were all very complimentary of my show and said they always thought I was one of if not the most favorite comics that came through town. And a few may have meant it.
Actually I think they all meant it. I usually try to keep to myself with a club’s staff for a lot of reasons. I’m never rude but I don’t go out of my way to hang out with them because I don’t think anything good ever comes out of it. Sure, it’s fun for those who might like to party a little but as for me it’s always been smart business to let them come to me first.
IF someone on the staff decides to talk to me I try to be as nice as humanly possible as I do to all who approach me but looking to befriend them is a different story. I’ve seen a lot of strange things happen between comics and club staff on a lot of levels and I don’t want to bog myself down with that. I’ve got enough other problems to work on in my own life.
One of them was riding eleven hours home with my comedian tag along friend that now ranks as my biggest mistake of 2009 so far. By the time we hit St. Louis I wanted to get a cab and pay someone else to drive me home just so I could get some peace and quiet.
I like to be quiet in the car when I drive long distances. I always have. I like to allow all my ideas to float around my head and then leak out my ear for me to bounce around for a while and think it over. Sure I like music and sports talk and I listen to stuff but as a rule I like to keep it quiet because it allows me to think and be creative. That’s just how I like it.
Of course he is exactly the opposite and insisted on playing me HIS favorites which was bad enough until he started singing along with them at the top of his voice. I truly wanted to drive into an oncoming train to stop the pain but I sat and gritted my teeth for the entire 650 mile trip. This is the kind of mind torture the Chinese have been using for centuries.
He really is a harmless person and doesn’t mean to be anything but positive and in fact I can’t stop him from talking about being positive because he corrects me every time I may let a negative statement leak out. He’s not only a glass is half full kind of guy he wants to walk around with a pitcher filling up everyone else’s glass whether they want it or not.
I’m sure he means well but by the Missouri state line I was considering the positives of a murder/suicide and making a pretty good case to myself. By the time we got to Chicago my nerves were frazzled and my energy was drained and we drove eleven hours together from 4:30am to 3:30pm. I felt like I had just finished a marathon doing the crab walk.
We’ve worked together before and it’s worked out ok but this time it was a chore and a hassle and I don’t know how to deal with it in the future. We have a booking coming up a couple of weeks from now but it’s one night and only a couple of hours away. I’m hoping to just move on and next time he asks to tag along with me I don’t answer my phone.
I hate to be that way but I have no patience for stuff like this. I try to be polite and think of the other person and avoid conflicts and confrontations and clashes whenever I can but this whole trip pushed every single button I have and right now I feel like I’m worn out. It was a complete lack of fun for me but I don’t think he has any idea he made that happen.
Could I tell him? I guess so but would that change anything? I doubt it. People are who they are and I respect that. I’m the first one to admit I’m a loopy bastard filled with quirks but they’re MY quirks and I know how to deal with them. I don’t need to baby sit others.
Many years I worked with Shirley Hemphill from the TV show ’What’s Happening?’ It was the first celebrity I ever worked with for a whole week and I sure did get an education from her. She was from the mountains of North Carolina and shot straight from the hip. If she liked or didn’t like something she’d let everyone know and then nobody was unsure.
I watched how she handled herself and she ALWAYS drove herself places like to do an interview on radio or TV. She never wanted to be beholden to someone to pick her up and she took responsibility. She also NEVER took a free meal from anyone. She paid for it in full because then if she didn’t like something she could complain about it without guilt.
I thought that was a little harsh when I first saw it but now I realize she did the very best thing she could have done and kept control of the situation. If the guy that’s with me sang in her rental car she’d have either thrown him out or tried to out sing him herself but it’s a call she would have made herself. I didn’t want to make it because I was trying to be nice.
‘Nice’ never does it. It just doesn’t. Nice people get shot in the head or mugged or taken advantage of in a Bernie Madoff money scam. Nice people have to foot the bill for all the others who aren’t so nice and that alone makes me want to puke up my vanilla pudding.
I’m a nice guy too. I think I’m doomed but that’s just who I am. I try to help everyone I can in any way I can but even when I can’t I don’t try to annoy them on purpose. This is a situation where I think the guy doesn’t see how much energy he drained from me all week and how I don’t even want to deal with it anymore. I just don’t want to be near this vibe.
I’ve got work to do in a lot of areas. I know that. If I keep letting this kind of stuff take a foothold it’s going to drain all the positive energy I do have and I can’t afford that now. It isn’t doing any good for me to have wasted a whole other week dealing with all this stuff.
On a good note the Mothership Connection radio show on AM 1050 WLIP in Kenosha, WI went great again tonight. We had interesting guests and interested callers and we are a work in progress but one worth paying both dues and attention. This is a very good team.
Driving 650 miles from Memphis starting at 4:30am and being a worn out babbling half wit didn’t help the show prep or make it better. Still, we had an interesting program and if I stay around here I have to believe I can at least avoid the physical hell of being in an old car driving from an old hotel hearing an old comic telling me old stories. THAT’S old.
Twelve Is Elvis
Saturday February 7th, 2009 - Memphis, TN
I’m in Memphis and thinking about marketing. Who better to model than Elvis Presley? We do have one thing in common - five letters in our first name and seven in our last. It’s about all we have in common but at least it’s a start. Elvis is the ultimate marketing study.
Is there a bigger single name in the entertainment industry in the last 50 years than Elvis Presley? Do we really need the Presley? Elvis is a one name dynamo that conjures images of sideburns, swinging hips and a glitter jumpsuit. Viva Las Vegas. Blue Suede Shoes. A hunk o’ hunk o’ burnin’ love. I don’t think there will ever be another act as big as he was.
The reason for it is he was the ultimate example of somebody being in the right place at the right time and everything fell together. Did he have talent? Absolutely. Charisma? He was bathing in it. Good looks? Chicks threw themselves at him. He had it all. Elvis really was the king and he lasted for twenty years alive and even longer dead. What can I learn?
Uh, after thinking about it for a while I learned I am not even close to being Elvis other than having the same amount of letters in our first and last names. He hit it at 22 and was dead before he reached the age I am now. I guess I’ll have to forge my own life story and nobody will probably ever want to tour my house when I’m dead other than a junk hauler.
Still it was fun to take a ride over to Graceland and walk around a little. Last time I was there I took the tour but I didn’t need to again and just walked around and took in the gift shops looking for marketing ideas. I’m starting to think like an entrepreneur and no place on Earth is a better example of marketing than Graceland. I had fun watching it all work.
Elvis was the ultimate redneck in many ways. Most of them have a car on blocks in the yard but Elvis has a JET. That’s class. People pay to walk through an airplane parked in a parking lot. That’s a classic example of American entrepreneurial genius if I ever saw it. I’m sure Elvis was probably sick of being Elvis but he sure was a moneymaking machine.
My friend who tagged along on this trip is starting to really get on my nerves. He’s nice and all that but his quirks are not my quirks and we almost came to blows over it when he wanted to have me park in a parking lot to avoid getting my window smashed because he saw a pickup truck in front of me with a smashed window. It got to the point of yelling.
I try to be very easygoing but he was nagging me like a granny and I couldn’t take it for much longer and I blew my cork pretty good. It’s MY car and MY trip and if I want to get broken into damn it that’s MY call. He wouldn’t let it go and it pissed me off and I blew.
I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset me so much but he pushed all my buttons and it really chapped my ass. I can’t deal with that trivial little minutia very well and that’s probably a good reason why I never got married. I’d rather be alone and do things my way than have to suck it up and shut my mouth and be miserable because someone else thinks it should be done a different way. Sorry, if I’m paying the bills Mr. Lucky calls the shots. Period.
Other than that this has been a fun week. The feature act is a funny kid out of Charlotte named Carlos Valencia who’s a little green but has a sharp mind and nice potential. He’s in his twenties and wears a porkpie hat like the Blues Brothers and looks Jewish and does jokes about it. He’s a nice kid and I enjoyed working with him. I think he’s got a future.
People used to tell me I was that kid when I was in my twenties too. ‘You’ve got a nice thing going there kid’ they’d say. ‘Stay with it.’ Well I did stay with it and now I’m a guy telling other kids to do the same. Carlos and I had a nice talk backstage about where he is going and what his goals are and he’s got a firm grasp of the offstage part of the business.
That’s something that I had to work at and still do. I used to just do what I thought was funny and not worry about what anyone else thought. I thought if the audiences laugh I’ll get bookings. HA! How stupid was I? I didn’t realize how much of a political campaign a career in show business actually is. Hell, LIFE is a political campaign. We all deal with it.
Someone should write a book about that subject. If I knew more on how to be good at it I would but I’d BUY the book of someone who could show me how to hide my boredom and disdain for total imbeciles and not have them know it. I’ve never been able to do that.
On the other hand if I like someone they REALLY know it. I feel that way about all of the people here at the club this week. The owners John Marks and Sammy Martin are two of the nicest and most honest people I’ve ever worked with and for and I would drive here for nothing and help them out if they ever needed me. They are on my all time faves list.
I think it’s a kindred spirit thing. Those guys are slugging it out just like I am and they’d be out on the road trying to feed their families just like I am if it weren’t for them running this club. Now they’re closing it in two weeks and they aren’t sure what they’ll be doing.
They have the same concerns as I do about the economy and the comedy business and a future income after the road days are over. They’re both my age and that’s just how it is. I bonded with those guys immediately and as long as they run shows they’ve got my loyalty forever. No matter what I’m doing if they call me I’m there for them. That’s how I feel.
The shows tonight were again off the hook. The first show especially was a monster but the second one didn’t stink. They were a little rowdy but nowhere near the zoo it was last night. I read them well and spiced it up a little because I could see that’s what they would react to the best and they did. I did the job this week and earned every penny of my pay.
I feel bad my friend is having marital issues but it was a mistake to bring him along and in the future I’m going to be more careful. I’ve had people in the past tag along with me on the road for various reasons and it’s a week of babysitting in many cases. I don’t want to have to make sure the other person is entertained. I’m here to work and I want to focus.
I did get a chance to hit the Rendezvous restaurant and have some of their famous ribs. I’d told my friend how good they were and he agreed. At least we didn’t argue about that.
I’m in Memphis and thinking about marketing. Who better to model than Elvis Presley? We do have one thing in common - five letters in our first name and seven in our last. It’s about all we have in common but at least it’s a start. Elvis is the ultimate marketing study.
Is there a bigger single name in the entertainment industry in the last 50 years than Elvis Presley? Do we really need the Presley? Elvis is a one name dynamo that conjures images of sideburns, swinging hips and a glitter jumpsuit. Viva Las Vegas. Blue Suede Shoes. A hunk o’ hunk o’ burnin’ love. I don’t think there will ever be another act as big as he was.
The reason for it is he was the ultimate example of somebody being in the right place at the right time and everything fell together. Did he have talent? Absolutely. Charisma? He was bathing in it. Good looks? Chicks threw themselves at him. He had it all. Elvis really was the king and he lasted for twenty years alive and even longer dead. What can I learn?
Uh, after thinking about it for a while I learned I am not even close to being Elvis other than having the same amount of letters in our first and last names. He hit it at 22 and was dead before he reached the age I am now. I guess I’ll have to forge my own life story and nobody will probably ever want to tour my house when I’m dead other than a junk hauler.
Still it was fun to take a ride over to Graceland and walk around a little. Last time I was there I took the tour but I didn’t need to again and just walked around and took in the gift shops looking for marketing ideas. I’m starting to think like an entrepreneur and no place on Earth is a better example of marketing than Graceland. I had fun watching it all work.
Elvis was the ultimate redneck in many ways. Most of them have a car on blocks in the yard but Elvis has a JET. That’s class. People pay to walk through an airplane parked in a parking lot. That’s a classic example of American entrepreneurial genius if I ever saw it. I’m sure Elvis was probably sick of being Elvis but he sure was a moneymaking machine.
My friend who tagged along on this trip is starting to really get on my nerves. He’s nice and all that but his quirks are not my quirks and we almost came to blows over it when he wanted to have me park in a parking lot to avoid getting my window smashed because he saw a pickup truck in front of me with a smashed window. It got to the point of yelling.
I try to be very easygoing but he was nagging me like a granny and I couldn’t take it for much longer and I blew my cork pretty good. It’s MY car and MY trip and if I want to get broken into damn it that’s MY call. He wouldn’t let it go and it pissed me off and I blew.
I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset me so much but he pushed all my buttons and it really chapped my ass. I can’t deal with that trivial little minutia very well and that’s probably a good reason why I never got married. I’d rather be alone and do things my way than have to suck it up and shut my mouth and be miserable because someone else thinks it should be done a different way. Sorry, if I’m paying the bills Mr. Lucky calls the shots. Period.
Other than that this has been a fun week. The feature act is a funny kid out of Charlotte named Carlos Valencia who’s a little green but has a sharp mind and nice potential. He’s in his twenties and wears a porkpie hat like the Blues Brothers and looks Jewish and does jokes about it. He’s a nice kid and I enjoyed working with him. I think he’s got a future.
People used to tell me I was that kid when I was in my twenties too. ‘You’ve got a nice thing going there kid’ they’d say. ‘Stay with it.’ Well I did stay with it and now I’m a guy telling other kids to do the same. Carlos and I had a nice talk backstage about where he is going and what his goals are and he’s got a firm grasp of the offstage part of the business.
That’s something that I had to work at and still do. I used to just do what I thought was funny and not worry about what anyone else thought. I thought if the audiences laugh I’ll get bookings. HA! How stupid was I? I didn’t realize how much of a political campaign a career in show business actually is. Hell, LIFE is a political campaign. We all deal with it.
Someone should write a book about that subject. If I knew more on how to be good at it I would but I’d BUY the book of someone who could show me how to hide my boredom and disdain for total imbeciles and not have them know it. I’ve never been able to do that.
On the other hand if I like someone they REALLY know it. I feel that way about all of the people here at the club this week. The owners John Marks and Sammy Martin are two of the nicest and most honest people I’ve ever worked with and for and I would drive here for nothing and help them out if they ever needed me. They are on my all time faves list.
I think it’s a kindred spirit thing. Those guys are slugging it out just like I am and they’d be out on the road trying to feed their families just like I am if it weren’t for them running this club. Now they’re closing it in two weeks and they aren’t sure what they’ll be doing.
They have the same concerns as I do about the economy and the comedy business and a future income after the road days are over. They’re both my age and that’s just how it is. I bonded with those guys immediately and as long as they run shows they’ve got my loyalty forever. No matter what I’m doing if they call me I’m there for them. That’s how I feel.
The shows tonight were again off the hook. The first show especially was a monster but the second one didn’t stink. They were a little rowdy but nowhere near the zoo it was last night. I read them well and spiced it up a little because I could see that’s what they would react to the best and they did. I did the job this week and earned every penny of my pay.
I feel bad my friend is having marital issues but it was a mistake to bring him along and in the future I’m going to be more careful. I’ve had people in the past tag along with me on the road for various reasons and it’s a week of babysitting in many cases. I don’t want to have to make sure the other person is entertained. I’m here to work and I want to focus.
I did get a chance to hit the Rendezvous restaurant and have some of their famous ribs. I’d told my friend how good they were and he agreed. At least we didn’t argue about that.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
A Glorified Hobo
Friday February 6th, 2009 - Memphis, TN
The comedy road life as I know it is coming to an end. For me anyway. I can feel it and in some ways I embrace it. In others it scares the hell out of me because it’s been such an ingrained part of my being my entire life that I don’t know if I can just stop cold turkey.
This week in Memphis has the typical ups and downs of life on the road. The club here is one of my very favorites in the country. It’s run by two comics named John Marks and Sammy Martin who know how it is and have created a wonderful working atmosphere to look forward to. They train their audiences and make sure it’s a very comic friendly gig.
The hotel on the other hand is a different story. It’s a flea bag run by middle easterners who think waking Caucasians up numerous times before 8am is a tradition in America. It might have been a nice joint back in ‘77 when Elvis died but that’s the last time I think it was painted or remodeled. It’s not horrible but it wouldn’t be the place I’d choose to stay.
I’ve stayed in enough toilets over the years to just let it ride and not bitch and that’s the plan this week too but after a lifetime on the road it does beat a person down after a while and I talked to John Marks about it. He asked me how the hotel was and I just shot him an angry scowl and we both laughed. He’s a road comic too and knew exactly what I meant.
We talked about it and I totally knew where he was coming from and why they put us in a place like this. They got a deal and the club is closing soon so God bless them for being able to save a couple of bucks. I don’t have a problem with it at all but a few comics gave John some heat about it and that’s a good way to weed your name out for future bookings.
The place we’re staying is less than a minute drive from the club and it’s next to a lot of restaurants and is right off the freeway too. It’s easy to find and for three nights it’s ok but there’s a Motel 6 right across the freeway ramp for the probably the same price and that’s where I’d choose if it were up to me but it’s not. So I’m stuck in the Curry Chicken Inn.
That’s the thing about life on the road - it’s always different. Some weeks the hotel is an absolute palace and the gig is pure hell. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes both can be really good or both can be really bad. Then a few days later everything is reshuffled.
The reason I say road life is ending at least for me is that I have outgrown it. It’s not fun and exciting like it used to be and it’s not leading anywhere. When I started I needed it to get my comic chops and learn my craft. I’ve done that and more and not only have I been successful at learning my craft I’ve really enjoyed the hands on education about life I got.
Now it’s time to get a hands on education about other things. I know how to be a comic and I know how to live like a cockroach on the road and be a glorified hobo. That was fun for a while but now I have to learn about being in business and taking a week off to come down here just delayed that process yet again. I love John and Sammy and I’m glad to get a chance to work with them one more time before they close but it’s coming to an end.
The next step is to either weed out the road life on this level or take it totally to the top. I don’t think the Blue Collar Comedy Tour stayed in any joints like this and that’s a good thing but all those guys were road comics and they’ve all been through what I’m doing.
The shows are great but the other part is a grind. If I’m doing big shows in theatres and staying in five star hotels and have a tour bus and/or get to fly everywhere it makes it a lot easier to reason being away from home. The road is still a grind even in the best of all this but at least there’s a payoff at the end - HUGE money. Right now I’m still squeaking by.
Putting in my time to develop a mail order business is just a smart thing to do right now in many ways. I’m not getting any younger and while I’m still breathing I want to hook up a new stream of income so I don’t have to keep staying in places like this much longer. If I do take a road gig somewhere I want to have enough money to stay where I want to stay.
Still, I’m glad I came this week. The first show tonight was packed and I was in a zone. I always love working this room and part of that is that they train their audiences to laugh and appreciate good comedy. They book solid comics and John or Sammy host the shows and they’re both excellent emcees and keep it moving correctly. It makes a big difference.
The late show was completely the opposite. There was a birthday party for some young hottie and there were about 30 people who came on a bus. They were gassed before they got off the bus and there was no chance for any of us. The show was doomed before it got started but that’s also part of the ups and downs of road life. Late show Friday is a pisser.
There were several stunning young women in the group and all the comics were staring and drooling and gawking but even that didn’t help the show. It was Nagasaki and we had to work around it which is difficult to do. This is when nobody wants to be the headliner.
I made it through and actually got some laughs from the rest of the audience but it was a struggle the whole way. John apologized but I told him he didn’t have to because we have all experienced shows like this over the years. It’s part of comedy and any lifer knows it.
Ups and downs. That’s what road life is. One show is a treasure. The next one is torture. I can deal with it but I can’t keep coming this far to do it. There are enough gigs closer to home where I can still develop my business during the day and build some financial base.
Another ‘up’ was the delicious rack of ribs I had before the show tonight. Sammy is one of the best chefs anywhere and runs the restaurant in the club and it’s OUTSTANDING. I think Sammy would be a world class restaurateur if he wanted but he has the comedy bug just like all of us and that’s what he enjoys doing. He’s good at it too so that’s his choice.
The ups way outweigh the downs over the years and I’m glad I lived my life like I did. I have wonderful memories of traveling all over North America and I appreciate the chance I got to live my dream. Now my dream is evolving and this part is winding down. I loved it and savor it and will enjoy the rest of my week in Memphis. But it’s time to move on.
The comedy road life as I know it is coming to an end. For me anyway. I can feel it and in some ways I embrace it. In others it scares the hell out of me because it’s been such an ingrained part of my being my entire life that I don’t know if I can just stop cold turkey.
This week in Memphis has the typical ups and downs of life on the road. The club here is one of my very favorites in the country. It’s run by two comics named John Marks and Sammy Martin who know how it is and have created a wonderful working atmosphere to look forward to. They train their audiences and make sure it’s a very comic friendly gig.
The hotel on the other hand is a different story. It’s a flea bag run by middle easterners who think waking Caucasians up numerous times before 8am is a tradition in America. It might have been a nice joint back in ‘77 when Elvis died but that’s the last time I think it was painted or remodeled. It’s not horrible but it wouldn’t be the place I’d choose to stay.
I’ve stayed in enough toilets over the years to just let it ride and not bitch and that’s the plan this week too but after a lifetime on the road it does beat a person down after a while and I talked to John Marks about it. He asked me how the hotel was and I just shot him an angry scowl and we both laughed. He’s a road comic too and knew exactly what I meant.
We talked about it and I totally knew where he was coming from and why they put us in a place like this. They got a deal and the club is closing soon so God bless them for being able to save a couple of bucks. I don’t have a problem with it at all but a few comics gave John some heat about it and that’s a good way to weed your name out for future bookings.
The place we’re staying is less than a minute drive from the club and it’s next to a lot of restaurants and is right off the freeway too. It’s easy to find and for three nights it’s ok but there’s a Motel 6 right across the freeway ramp for the probably the same price and that’s where I’d choose if it were up to me but it’s not. So I’m stuck in the Curry Chicken Inn.
That’s the thing about life on the road - it’s always different. Some weeks the hotel is an absolute palace and the gig is pure hell. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes both can be really good or both can be really bad. Then a few days later everything is reshuffled.
The reason I say road life is ending at least for me is that I have outgrown it. It’s not fun and exciting like it used to be and it’s not leading anywhere. When I started I needed it to get my comic chops and learn my craft. I’ve done that and more and not only have I been successful at learning my craft I’ve really enjoyed the hands on education about life I got.
Now it’s time to get a hands on education about other things. I know how to be a comic and I know how to live like a cockroach on the road and be a glorified hobo. That was fun for a while but now I have to learn about being in business and taking a week off to come down here just delayed that process yet again. I love John and Sammy and I’m glad to get a chance to work with them one more time before they close but it’s coming to an end.
The next step is to either weed out the road life on this level or take it totally to the top. I don’t think the Blue Collar Comedy Tour stayed in any joints like this and that’s a good thing but all those guys were road comics and they’ve all been through what I’m doing.
The shows are great but the other part is a grind. If I’m doing big shows in theatres and staying in five star hotels and have a tour bus and/or get to fly everywhere it makes it a lot easier to reason being away from home. The road is still a grind even in the best of all this but at least there’s a payoff at the end - HUGE money. Right now I’m still squeaking by.
Putting in my time to develop a mail order business is just a smart thing to do right now in many ways. I’m not getting any younger and while I’m still breathing I want to hook up a new stream of income so I don’t have to keep staying in places like this much longer. If I do take a road gig somewhere I want to have enough money to stay where I want to stay.
Still, I’m glad I came this week. The first show tonight was packed and I was in a zone. I always love working this room and part of that is that they train their audiences to laugh and appreciate good comedy. They book solid comics and John or Sammy host the shows and they’re both excellent emcees and keep it moving correctly. It makes a big difference.
The late show was completely the opposite. There was a birthday party for some young hottie and there were about 30 people who came on a bus. They were gassed before they got off the bus and there was no chance for any of us. The show was doomed before it got started but that’s also part of the ups and downs of road life. Late show Friday is a pisser.
There were several stunning young women in the group and all the comics were staring and drooling and gawking but even that didn’t help the show. It was Nagasaki and we had to work around it which is difficult to do. This is when nobody wants to be the headliner.
I made it through and actually got some laughs from the rest of the audience but it was a struggle the whole way. John apologized but I told him he didn’t have to because we have all experienced shows like this over the years. It’s part of comedy and any lifer knows it.
Ups and downs. That’s what road life is. One show is a treasure. The next one is torture. I can deal with it but I can’t keep coming this far to do it. There are enough gigs closer to home where I can still develop my business during the day and build some financial base.
Another ‘up’ was the delicious rack of ribs I had before the show tonight. Sammy is one of the best chefs anywhere and runs the restaurant in the club and it’s OUTSTANDING. I think Sammy would be a world class restaurateur if he wanted but he has the comedy bug just like all of us and that’s what he enjoys doing. He’s good at it too so that’s his choice.
The ups way outweigh the downs over the years and I’m glad I lived my life like I did. I have wonderful memories of traveling all over North America and I appreciate the chance I got to live my dream. Now my dream is evolving and this part is winding down. I loved it and savor it and will enjoy the rest of my week in Memphis. But it’s time to move on.
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