An All Day Sucker

Sunday February 8th, 2009 - Memphis, TN/Kenosha, WI

Memphis will always have pleasant memories for me no matter if I’m ever booked here again or not. After the late show last night I said my final goodbyes at the club to the staff and they were all very complimentary of my show and said they always thought I was one of if not the most favorite comics that came through town. And a few may have meant it.

Actually I think they all meant it. I usually try to keep to myself with a club’s staff for a lot of reasons. I’m never rude but I don’t go out of my way to hang out with them because I don’t think anything good ever comes out of it. Sure, it’s fun for those who might like to party a little but as for me it’s always been smart business to let them come to me first.

IF someone on the staff decides to talk to me I try to be as nice as humanly possible as I do to all who approach me but looking to befriend them is a different story. I’ve seen a lot of strange things happen between comics and club staff on a lot of levels and I don’t want to bog myself down with that. I’ve got enough other problems to work on in my own life.

One of them was riding eleven hours home with my comedian tag along friend that now ranks as my biggest mistake of 2009 so far. By the time we hit St. Louis I wanted to get a cab and pay someone else to drive me home just so I could get some peace and quiet.

I like to be quiet in the car when I drive long distances. I always have. I like to allow all my ideas to float around my head and then leak out my ear for me to bounce around for a while and think it over. Sure I like music and sports talk and I listen to stuff but as a rule I like to keep it quiet because it allows me to think and be creative. That’s just how I like it.

Of course he is exactly the opposite and insisted on playing me HIS favorites which was bad enough until he started singing along with them at the top of his voice. I truly wanted to drive into an oncoming train to stop the pain but I sat and gritted my teeth for the entire 650 mile trip. This is the kind of mind torture the Chinese have been using for centuries.

He really is a harmless person and doesn’t mean to be anything but positive and in fact I can’t stop him from talking about being positive because he corrects me every time I may let a negative statement leak out. He’s not only a glass is half full kind of guy he wants to walk around with a pitcher filling up everyone else’s glass whether they want it or not.

I’m sure he means well but by the Missouri state line I was considering the positives of a murder/suicide and making a pretty good case to myself. By the time we got to Chicago my nerves were frazzled and my energy was drained and we drove eleven hours together from 4:30am to 3:30pm. I felt like I had just finished a marathon doing the crab walk.

We’ve worked together before and it’s worked out ok but this time it was a chore and a hassle and I don’t know how to deal with it in the future. We have a booking coming up a couple of weeks from now but it’s one night and only a couple of hours away. I’m hoping to just move on and next time he asks to tag along with me I don’t answer my phone.

I hate to be that way but I have no patience for stuff like this. I try to be polite and think of the other person and avoid conflicts and confrontations and clashes whenever I can but this whole trip pushed every single button I have and right now I feel like I’m worn out. It was a complete lack of fun for me but I don’t think he has any idea he made that happen.

Could I tell him? I guess so but would that change anything? I doubt it. People are who they are and I respect that. I’m the first one to admit I’m a loopy bastard filled with quirks but they’re MY quirks and I know how to deal with them. I don’t need to baby sit others.

Many years I worked with Shirley Hemphill from the TV show ’What’s Happening?’ It was the first celebrity I ever worked with for a whole week and I sure did get an education from her. She was from the mountains of North Carolina and shot straight from the hip. If she liked or didn’t like something she’d let everyone know and then nobody was unsure.

I watched how she handled herself and she ALWAYS drove herself places like to do an interview on radio or TV. She never wanted to be beholden to someone to pick her up and she took responsibility. She also NEVER took a free meal from anyone. She paid for it in full because then if she didn’t like something she could complain about it without guilt.

I thought that was a little harsh when I first saw it but now I realize she did the very best thing she could have done and kept control of the situation. If the guy that’s with me sang in her rental car she’d have either thrown him out or tried to out sing him herself but it’s a call she would have made herself. I didn’t want to make it because I was trying to be nice.

‘Nice’ never does it. It just doesn’t. Nice people get shot in the head or mugged or taken advantage of in a Bernie Madoff money scam. Nice people have to foot the bill for all the others who aren’t so nice and that alone makes me want to puke up my vanilla pudding.

I’m a nice guy too. I think I’m doomed but that’s just who I am. I try to help everyone I can in any way I can but even when I can’t I don’t try to annoy them on purpose. This is a situation where I think the guy doesn’t see how much energy he drained from me all week and how I don’t even want to deal with it anymore. I just don’t want to be near this vibe.

I’ve got work to do in a lot of areas. I know that. If I keep letting this kind of stuff take a foothold it’s going to drain all the positive energy I do have and I can’t afford that now. It isn’t doing any good for me to have wasted a whole other week dealing with all this stuff.

On a good note the Mothership Connection radio show on AM 1050 WLIP in Kenosha, WI went great again tonight. We had interesting guests and interested callers and we are a work in progress but one worth paying both dues and attention. This is a very good team.

Driving 650 miles from Memphis starting at 4:30am and being a worn out babbling half wit didn’t help the show prep or make it better. Still, we had an interesting program and if I stay around here I have to believe I can at least avoid the physical hell of being in an old car driving from an old hotel hearing an old comic telling me old stories. THAT’S old.