The Cardinal Sin

Sunday January 10th, 2010 - Kenosha, WI

They sucked me in again. Damn those green and gold bastards. How do they keep doing that? I swore I was NOT going to let myself succumb to the temptation but I blew it. I fell full force for the fever, and got a face full of football feces flung at me. How frustrating.

Somewhere in the cosmos there has to be a planet where life doesn’t suck the bottom of an outhouse hole. That’s where I want to live, and if there’s an extra seat on any departing mother ships I’m ready to leave immediately. Maybe I can get a space ticket deal online.

After today’s flaming football flop, I’m ready to pull up stakes and relocate to a planet I can call home. Maybe it’s Uranus, as that’s exactly where my beloved Green Bay Packers took it today in what sports people are calling one of the best playoff football games of all time. I’m convinced it’s only a great game if your team wins. Otherwise, it’s just torture.

To invest time and emotion in cheering for a team and then watch them get scorched at the very end is about as fun as riding in the passenger seat with a suicide bomber, and has the same result. It’s a sudden jolt that has lasting results. The pain doesn’t go away soon.

This is the worst time to be a Packerholic. I knew they weren’t going to have it easy this week but nobody predicted a game like this. I had a strong feeling they were going to lose and if I was smart I would have bet what little money I do have and not watched one play.
I could have spared myself the death dagger at the end and put a few bucks in my pocket.

I’ve often heard that Dallas Cowboy fans still ache over the infamous Ice Bowl game in Green Bay in the ‘60s. I love watching those old highlights because I know how it comes out and it cheers me up every time. It was one of the all time great games in NFL history, or so the announcers keep saying. I guess I never had to watch it from a Dallas viewpoint.

I started doing some work today and vowed to make it a productive one. I’ve got a play to rehearse for this week and just came off a solid week of comedy shows. I’m starting to get some momentum going in the new year and I didn’t want to ruin it with having to get my spirits crushed by a lousy football game. I know my weak spots and this is a big one.

Everyone was predicting a Packer victory and I really did feel like that was my cue not to watch the game. I’m not a gambler at all, but I really did get the feeling to lay down as much money as I could get my hands on and bet on Arizona. I didn’t listen to that either.

When the game started I purposely isolated myself and started working. Then, I blew it by rationalizing I had to just peek at the score. They were down 31-10 by that time and it seemed like it was over. Fair enough. I was glad I didn’t watch it. But then it all changed.

They launched a remarkable comeback and I got texts from friends saying how exciting it was. That’s when I lost it and couldn’t resist anymore. I got sucked back in and that was it. They got beat and it’s over. And it hurts. It feels like a cactus was jammed in my soul.