Super Numbers

Sunday February 7th, 2010 - Kenosha, WI

Super Bowl Sunday. This year’s game meant nothing to me, but I still learned from it as I watched all the pomp and fluff that goes with an event that big. I think I read where over 100 million people will watch it in America and 750 million around the rest of the world.

I don’t know if that’s true or not, but say it is for argument’s sake. That’s a total number of 850 million people watching one single event. Pretty amazing, but if the world’s entire population is six billion, that’s not even 20% of the world watching. That shrinks the size of the event in my eyes, and makes me wonder what if anything would capture ALL of us.

The World Cup Soccer tournament is huge around the world, but we have barely a blip of interest here. I have to believe a good Three Stooges festival could knock it out of the ratings in most American cities, and half of them could even feature Shemp instead of an entire stacked deck of Curly. Soccer is just plain BORING to us, and it always will be.

I doubt if there were many Super Bowl parties in Cameroon or Paraguay either. I don’t think ten year old kids working in the sweat shops making Nike shoes bought squares for the big game and checked their numbers after every quarter. It’s only a major event here.

Still, the game has become what’s probably the biggest non religious holiday anywhere, and all the players on both teams today will tell their children, grandchildren and anybody within earshot who’ll listen that they played in the Super Bowl. Win or lose, that’s pretty impressive, at least around these parts. It‘s got to be good for a free beverage, doesn‘t it?

I did get to watch a little bit of the second half from the studio as we did the Mothership Connection radio show in Kenosha, WI tonight on AM 1050 WLIP. I made sure I was all full with guests so we could have a show and we absolutely did. We had a lot of calls and people didn’t even mention the game at all. Neither did we, until we said the Saints won.

The Super Bowl is an American institution and the Mothership Connection is a weekly Sunday night radio show in Kenosha, WI. Who wins? In my mind it’s me. I get to do this again next week, and most if not all of the players in this game will never get back again. Some of them got in only a play or two and nobody cared but them. But they were in it.

I kind of feel like that about getting on The Late Late Show last year. Yes, I did make it to national TV, but only for four and a half minutes at 1:30am in the summer. Did anyone see it? Sure, probably hundreds of thousands if not more. In fact, more people saw me do that four and a half minutes than had seen me during the past twenty plus years combined.

What does that do for me now? Not much, other than provide me with a memory I’ll be able to have the rest of my life. Would I like to get back there? Absolutely. But, just like a football player or any other professional athlete, there are no guarantees. A lot of it is luck of the draw, and I know how mine has been up until now. I thought of all that as I saw the players hold up the trophy and enjoy their moment. I was happy for them. They earned it.

I also thought of a few comedians from New Orleans I’ve worked with over the years and was happy for them too. Sammie Martin is a very funny guy who was the co-owner of a club I loved in Memphis called ’Comedy, TN’ with another funny guy named John Marks. Normally, comedians who book clubs aren’t strong acts. Not so with these guys.

Sammie a rabid Saints fan. When I’d work there we’d talk about the NFL and he was a walking font of knowledge about not only his team but every other one too. We’d talk for long stretches about my Packers or his Saints and there’s no deeper way for heterosexual males to bond in America than to talk about sports. Sammie and I are both NFL junkies.

Another fantastic guy I worked with from New Orleans called himself ‘The Silver Fox’. His name was John Schnauder and I’ve never met a more classy person in all my years of traveling as a comedian. This guy was laid back and fun and people loved him right away. He had a thick “N’Awlins” twang but it wasn’t forced, that was him. He had a real style.

This was at least twenty years ago, and he was in his 60s then. He raised his family and decided in his retirement he wanted to be a comedian, so he did it. He knew he had a late start, but he didn’t care. He just enjoyed making people laugh, and I had an absolute blast working in Jacksonville, FL with him and Shirley Hemphill from “What’s Happening?”

I was very green then and just starting out on the road. I was the opening act and John was the feature. I made sure I gave him a great introduction every night because I thought everyone should have one, but he really appreciated it because he said a lot of the younger comics would make fun of him because he was so much older. We got along very well.

He was very proud of his city and did material about it every night. We hung out quite a bit that week, and this was before the internet so we exchanged information and sent each other a few Christmas cards, but then we kind of fell out of touch as happens in comedy.

I sure hope he’s still alive to see his Saints win the Super Bowl. If anyone deserves that thrill it was him. What a super guy he was, and not just of comedians I’ve known, but of ANYONE I’ve known. That guy had a real charisma about him, and I hope he’s ecstatic tonight. I’m sure there are a ton of John Schnauders and Sammie Martins rejoicing now.

There were really no bad guys in this game. Who doesn’t like Peyton Manning? There’s another guy who handles himself with dignity and isn’t a maniac like so many others who play pro sports. I like the Colts’ coach Jim Caldwell too. He comes off very classy also.

They’re probably bummed out about losing now, but the memory will get sweeter as the years pass. They made it to the highest pinnacle of their profession, and even if it was for only one day, they got to put on the uniform and run on the field and say they were there.

I want to experience the highest pinnacle of life. What is that? I don’t really know. Is it fame and fortune? Probably not. I have to believe it’s having the unconditional love of as many people as can be. Who has that? Beats me. I’m still trying to figure out what love is.