Thursday May 24th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL
Life is hard, show business is harder. There’s never a time to just lay back and relax, as there is always some major project that needs attention or impending problem on the horizon. One has to mentally be about six moves ahead at all times, yet still find a way to focus on the task at hand.
I’m so far into it, I don’t know which way is up anymore. I don’t know if I ever did. I just kept showing up wherever they would have me, and kept things pretty loose. I’m paying for that now, as I’m not really going anywhere special. I’m still on the beach, waiting for my ship to come in.
It may never come in, and that’s just how it is. There are no guarantees of success in this game, even when a person has talent. I’ve heard stories of people like Lewis Black who said he thought he would never make it and was prepared to live out his days in obscurity – and then he popped.
That’s a great story, but what about those that don’t? Those are the ones nobody ever hears of, and they die in obscurity. I can think of several really talented comedians that have either died or are still spinning their wheels in obscurity trying like me just to stay afloat from month to month.
There are a lot of factors that determine who makes it and who doesn’t other than raw talent or ability, and two of them are timing and sheer luck. Those are two ingredients someone either has or they don’t – and I don’t. I have been in the wrong place at the wrong time most of the time.
I can’t use that as an excuse though, and am not trying to blame that on my lack of what I think is success. I’ve made more than my share of stupid choices to go along with my lack of luck and timing, and that’s why I’m sitting where I’m sitting. I did learn from my mistakes though, and if I am able to get a good opportunity in the next little while I really think I’ll be ready to handle it.
What I will choose to take as a positive is that I have made some unbelievably poor choices for a long time, but am still around and in a position to take another run at something. I will use what I know to hopefully help others coming up the ladder save needless heartache of blowing it like I did on the way up so they can move ahead the correct way. I’ve shot myself directly in both feet.
The good news is, I’m not dead yet. I still have some ability, and this is a big world. I’ve pissed a few people off, but in the big scheme of it all a lot more people like me than don’t. What puts it all into true perspective is that the majority of the several billion people on this planet don’t even know who I am. That’s a giant face slapper. Touching even 1% of everyone is a mammoth task.
I’m not even talking about worldwide notoriety. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t be known to anyone in Africa, Asia, South America and most of Europe. I may rustle up a scant few followers at some point in Australia, England and some other English speaking places in Europe, but other than that I doubt if my jokes will be translated into Mandarin or Swahili. I’m a speck.
I’ll be fine if I can just get my name and product out there and allow it to be sampled by people who might become paying customers. That’s what I’ve been trying to do since the very first time I ever stepped on a stage, but it sure is a lot harder than I thought. I just want to be able to make a decent living entertaining a group of fans who enjoy what I do. Is that too much to ask? Maybe.
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