Saturday January 5th, 2013 – Nashville, TN
I made it to Nashville, rental car and all. That’s just a minor glitch, even though it happened at an inopportune time. Nobody here will know or care, so I won’t bring it up. I’m glad to get work the weekend after New Year’s Eve, as that can tend to be a difficult one to scrounge up any gigs.
Having a whole day alone in a car to think about life can be good or bad depending on the day. Today it was good, as I kept my focus on what I need to do to make the future better. The past is gone, and dwelling on it would make me drive the car into oncoming traffic. I don’t need that.
The fact remains, I need to find a way to become a draw. Period. How to do that is beyond me, or I would’ve done it long ago. But I do need to do it. If and when that ever happens, I’ll be able to work anytime I want. Faulty driver’s side doors on rattletrap cars won’t be an issue anymore.
I’m sure I’ll have all kinds of other issues, but I’ll worry about those when I need to. For now, getting there is enough of a challenge to have kept me busy for decades. It’s time to make a push, and to do that I’m going to have to adjust my game. How much I’m not sure, but it will be some.
The first thing I’m doing is just getting rid of as much clutter as I can. That alone helps me feel better and also clears space in my life for new and hopefully much more exciting things. I hauled a big load of CDs and DVDs with me to sell at a used record store here. I’d heard they paid well.
Apparently I’d heard wrong. They gave me $254 for a huge load of what I thought was quality stuff, but I took it just to be rid of it from my life. I suppose I could have sold it on Ebay or taken a booth at a flea market, but that’s not my goal. I have all of the songs I want saved on my iPod.
It’s taking a step back to hopefully take several steps forward. If I do hit pay dirt at any point, I can buy any CD or DVD I want. Better yet, I bet I’ll be able to call up the actual people who did the songs or movies and meet them in person for lunch. For now I’ll keep quiet and suck a bullet.
My goal by the end of this year is to have the bare minimum as far as possessions go. It will be a whole lot easier to move anywhere if I have to if all I have to do is pack the trunk of a car with a laptop computer, a few clothes and maybe some books. Other than that, what do I really need?
Everything starts in the mind, and that’s where I’m doing my biggest cleaning. What I’ve been doing hasn’t produced the results I wanted, so I need to make adjustments. If there are faults (and there are many) I need to correct them. There’s plenty to keep me busy all of 2013 and beyond.
Unfortunately, all that’s guaranteed is today. I have to make the most of every day and I’m out to do exactly that. Little by little I’ll start to see positive change and improvement, as that’s what I’m consciously putting into my life. Getting rid of as much baggage as possible makes it easier.
I won’t be satisfied unless I give it my absolute best shot. If I do that and I fail, I’ll live with it. I’ll be disappointed, but that’s life. Not giving my best shot is unacceptable, and I won’t allow it. I’ve wasted enough valuable time as it is. It feels good to finally be putting a better plan in place.