Dobie Maxwell's 'Dented Can' Diary: Pleasure And Pain

Saturday November 2^nd, 2013 – St. Charles, IL

   On a difficulty scale of 1 to 10, the show I did tonight was a 37. I probably should have stayed home, but I didn’t for several reasons – most notably that I needed the money. Also, backing out of a booking on the day of is the ultimate sin. It would take a major emergency for me to do that.

   The condition I’m in is close though, but I still thought it was right to suck it up and do a show. I was hoping to have passed my kidney stone by now, but it’s still there. Oh, is it there. I can feel it every time I sit, lay down, stand or walk. I took pain pills all day and tried to rest for the show.

   The doctor in the emergency room told me that managing the pain was a matter of delicate trial and error, and that I’d have to estimate when the medicine would run out so I could take the next batch and not have any unnecessary torture. I told him I needed to perform in a few days, and I’d prefer not to have to cancel a show if I could help it. He told me he thought I’d be past it by now.

   But he also said it could take up to a week to pass, “worst case scenario”. I’ve heard those three words enough for a dozen people for a dozen lifetimes, and I clenched my teeth when he uttered them. I didn’t want to get into my life story with the guy. I just wanted all this to be over already.

   My show tonight was at a Moose Lodge in St. Charles, IL – about 40 miles away from where I live. Showtime was 7pm, and I was asked to arrive by 6:30 at the latest. That meant I had to time when I took my pain killers so I wouldn’t be impaired while driving but not in major pain either.

   I’m no chemist, and in fact have very little experience with performing impaired. Most comics go through their stages of drug and alcohol use at least at some point, and know their limits as to dosage and timing. I don’t drink a drop and barely take aspirin, so this was new ground for me.

   I did manage to get there by 6:30, but I could tell I was in no shape to perform. I could feel the pain killers wearing off, and everything was just off by a few degrees. Daryl Moon is a comedian who booked me along with a funny lady named Kelsie Huff, and I didn’t want to let them down.

   As it turned out, they really didn’t need me for this show. The audience was fantastic, and they were there to laugh. Daryl hosted the show, and then brought up Kelsie who did a very funny 35 minute set. Daryl went back on and did about 40 minutes after that. Then they took a break for a Moose Lodge prayer, and they passed the hat to donate for needy children. Then it was my turn.

   I’ve been doing comedy long enough to know what to do and when to do it. These people were really great, and even though the sound and lights weren’t great I leaned into it and gave them all I had. The medicine had worn off completely by then, and I could feel a twinge here and there as I did my show. I tend to be very animated and move around a lot on stage, and I did it all night.

   The crowd loved it, and it wasn’t their fault I was hurting. They had no idea and didn’t need to be told. It was such a hot show I didn’t even do my normal closer – which these people would’ve gone nuts for. It was already a long show, and I sensed it was time to let it rest. I hung around for as long as I could, but I needed to get home as I wasn’t sure what to expect. About halfway there, I was in such pain I had to pull my car over and walk around. I sure hope this thing passes soon.