Happy Birthday Jim Wiggins

Wednesday October 10^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I’m a big fan of making a big deal out of remembering someone’s birthday. It’s one of the very few things I’m actually halfway decent at, and I try to make it a point to make people feel good if at all possible. I know how flattering it feels when someone remembers my birthday, and it’s not all that difficult to really make a person feel special. To me, that’s one of the best thrills there is.

   Today it was an extra special thrill for me to remember the birthday of my friend Jim Wiggins. I made it a point to make a big deal of it, because Jim is a big deal. He’s one of the sweetest and most thoughtful human beings I’ve ever met, and he’s always gone out of his way to encourage a lot of the young comedians coming up the ranks. I was one of them once, and I never forgot him.

   Jim has fought ferociously through some major obstacles in his life, and some of his struggles make mine look like a game of tiddlywinks. His wife passed away and he also lost a son. Things like that hard enough on ‘normal’ people without having to go out and be funny in spite of it all.

   Most of the really good comedians have experienced enormous personal turmoil, and that’s an important ingredient of what keeps them going. They’ve got nothing to fall back on, and comedy becomes the only escape. It becomes a lifelong love affair, and like all love affairs it’s difficult.

   To make it even more difficult, Jim has been battling cancer for several years. He’s a two time winner, and has come through some amazing courage I don’t think even he knew he had. Cancer is nothing to joke about for most people, but for comedians we can’t help it. Everything is funny.

   Well, almost everything. Jim told Bill Gorgo, Tim Walkoe and me when we worked a show in Sparta, WI a few weeks ago that the cancer was back and he would be going through chemo for a  third painful time. I wouldn’t wish one time on a Hall of Famer like Jim Wiggins, but I am not in charge of doling it out. My grandfather was great too, but he also had to fight that ugly disease.

   Where’s the fairness here? Charles Manson and Jerry Sandusky live long lives disease free, but two wonderfully giving souls like Gramps and Jimmy Wigs have to get that dealt to them. I don’t get it, and I never will. It pisses me off more than a little quite frankly, but I have no credentials.

   All I could do today was spread the word about Jim’s birthday, and hope people would take the time to shoot him a call or an email and at least let him know people care that he’s alive and have a plethora of pleasant memories of him like I do. He spent years planting positive seeds, and he’s earned himself legendary status with just about anyone who ever worked with him. He’s a peach.

   I posted as many places as I could that today was his birthday, and asked people who knew him and those who didn’t to just take a minute and send him a birthday wish. Let the man enjoy some recognition for his significant contributions as a comedian and more importantly as a giving soul.

   If you didn’t get a chance to wish Jim a happy birthday, his email is jim@lasthippie.com. Take a peek at his website if you don’t know him and then send him a greeting. He’s one of the greats.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

H & R Mental Block

Tuesday October 9^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   What a world class flaming idiot I am - and a blooming one at that. I need a good old fashioned no nonsense back alley grab the ankles swift kick in the ass. It’s one thing to make a mistake, but to keep doing it over and over is totally unacceptable. I’m self employed but I should fire myself.

   I have always had a huge mental block when it comes to income taxes. I wish I knew why, but I know that I definitely do. For whatever reason, I have an extremely difficult time keeping up to date with filing my returns and it’s been a source of major pain for many years. Why is this so?

   I wish I had an answer. It’s a big time tweak, and I’ve promised myself over and over I’ll never let it happen again…but then it does and I start the cycle all over again. I’m back in this nasty rut I can’t seem to escape, and I’m really disappointed in myself. I need to find a way to fix this fast.

   It’s not like I’m cheating the government out of anything. I’m too stupid to be able to come up with any schemes to do that, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. I’ll gladly toss in my fair share and be able to sleep at night than try to put one over on Uncle Sam. That’s not me.

   And why would I want to risk one minute of prison time for the few shekles I haul down every year? That’s not a smart business move. If I knew how to make smart business moves I wouldn’t keep coming back to roost in this personal hell like a fly returns to a piping hot piece of pig poo.

   I have the receipts and all my paperwork, it’s just that they’re all in a big unorganized pile and somewhere deep down in that pile is the tweak I have that doesn’t allow me to take care of this in a timely manner like I know I should. My accountant warns me every year, but here I am again.

   Maybe I can blame some of this on the fact that I’m gone all the time and that makes it a whole lot harder to stay in a groove, but I’m not buying it. I do get and save receipts, but throwing them all into a big pile rather than organizing them into categories immediately is where it all gets lost.

   Before I know it, there’s this disgustingly disorganized accumulation of scrap paper that I don’t even want to look at, and the trap door in my head shuts and I just block it out. I tell myself all of the same excuses I’ve been telling myself for years, and pretty soon I’ve got myself in this putrid perpetual pickle. It took me several hours to attack the pile, but I managed to get it all sorted out.

   I did have my health issues last year, and I wasn’t working much at all for several months, but none of that is ever an excuse to let this happen again. The pain of having to catch up is just way too excruciating, and I don’t ever want to be in this situation again. I’m sick of being sick of this.

   In theory, the best way to fix this would be to take care of it at the end of every week. I should put all my receipts in order, and keep track of what’s deductible and total everything up. But for some reason I just haven’t been able to do that, and it’s been a lifelong source of absolute agony. I have an appointment with my accountant on Thursday, and I’m going to ask him what I can do to stop this from happening again. Maybe he’ll be the one to give me that kick in the ass I need.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

The Maven Of Mondays

Monday October 8^th, 2012 – Chicago, IL

   When things go like they did today, Monday is probably my favorite day of the week. I haven’t had one like this in a while, and it reminded me how much I’ve been missing. I used to have stuff to do lined up on a consistent weekly basis from early morning until midnight, and I loved it all.

   I still do some of those things, but the schedule is not as rigid as it once was. Getting home late after The Mothership Connection radio show on WLIP in Kenosha, WI can make it a bit stressful especially if I had a busy weekend doing shows before that. By the time I get home and unwind a little it’s already Monday morning and after only a few short hours of sleep I’m back at it again.

   What usually wakes me around 7:30 on Monday mornings is a phone call from the ‘Stone and Double T’ radio show on WXRX ‘The X’ in Rockford, IL. We’ve done a weekly bit for a while, and it’s always fun. They let me do what I want, and it’s refreshing to have someone trust me to know what I’m doing and deliver a weekly bit. I appreciate that. Find them at www.wxrx.com.

   After that, I sit down at my computer and Skype Jeff Schneider in Pittsburgh and we record our podcast ‘The Unshow’. We’ve got more than 100 thirty minute episodes in the can, even though we haven’t figured out a way to carve out an audience much less monetize it. Jeff used to be a lot more excited about trying to promote it, but now I think he’s finding out how hard this game is.

   Still, they’re fun to do, and we usually try to crank out at least two episodes if we can. Once in a while if we’re on a roll, we’ll do three. Some are better than others, but they all have a least one riff that I would think is worth listening to. Jeff is a very interesting and well read guy, and we’re both so familiar with each other it’s like two jazz musicians exploring new turf. We have a vibe.

   I’m not sure exactly where we’re going with this, but since it’s only an hour a week and all that needs to be invested is sitting at the computer and talking I feel I want to keep going. Who listens to it now, who knows? It’s part of the cosmic foot print I’m leaving to prove I was on this planet.

   After the podcast, I got out and took a nice long walk on a beautiful autumn day. I worked up a full sweat, and then had a healthy breakfast at a diner in town. It’s filled with odd characters, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the continuous freak show as I ate my poached eggs and oatmeal. 

   After that, I cranked out two articles for my www.maxwellmethodcomedy.wordpress.com blog and it made me feel like I accomplished something worthwhile. One would have been great, but I was on a roll so I kept going. I’ve been very productive with those of late, and I’m not done yet.

  To top it off, I received a call late this afternoon from Pat McGann asking if I could fill in as the host of the Rising Star Showcase at Zanies in Chicago. That was unexpected but appreciated, so I scrubbed up and headed to Chicago. I needed a haircut so I squeezed that in too. It all fell in line.

   I wish I’d be able to control this vibe like a thermostat, as that’s where I’d set my life and leave it for good. I’m exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do. I’d call that success.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Green Bay Pukers

Sunday October 7^th, 2012 – Lake Villa, IL

   Enough is enough, and this is it. My aching arse, the Green Bay Packers have finally pissed me off so badly I am not going back for more. Like an abused spouse, I am packing my bags and I’m out the door. My can is dented enough from life. I don’t need this torture to make it any deeper.

   Those clowns didn’t even look like they were trying in the second half of one of the bitterest of losses I can ever remember. It was bad enough they got robbed on the last play in Seattle just two weeks ago and barely scraped out a skin of the teeth win over a Saints team in turmoil last week.

   It was frustrating, infuriating and just plain unacceptable. As a lifelong customer I have a right to stop buying a product whenever I decide - and I decide it’s going to be now. I have been loyal (translation: brainwashed) to these pinheads long enough. The camel’s back has been snapped.

   Watching sports is supposed to be fun, and a diversion from the stressful pressures of daily life. When sports become the source of much of that stress, it’s time to do something else. I couldn’t care less if the NFL disbands tomorrow, and with all the problems they’re having it may happen.

   Why am I wasting my time with this anymore? What inner itch is being scratched by watching someone else try to accomplish something when in fact it should be me who should be doing the winning on my own behalf? Having to depend on someone else to make my self esteem shine is not how I want to live my life. From now on, I will spend my Sundays doing something better.

   There has to be something positive I could accomplish for three hours a week if I really look to find it. Maybe I could read a book or write an article or take time to answer emails or any of a lot of other things that don’t involve that helpless feeling of having to hope a bunch of overpaid oafs who I’ve never even met please me by defeating another group of overpaid oafs. How low am I?

   I don’t know why, but this one really pushed all my buttons. If I performed that poorly on a job I have to believe I’d be fired immediately. Someone needs to lose a job over this, and it needs to happen immediately. How can a defense give up all those yards to an aging guy without figuring something out to stop him from flat out embarrassing them? I saw no heart there and it’s pitiful.

   I would much rather go out and do something that I have at least some control over rather than have to go through this insanity every week. Fun had nothing to do with the last three weeks, and just like with comedy I always said I’d stop when it wasn’t fun anymore. Well, that time is now.

   Those heartless bums don’t deserve my time, and I’m not going to give it to them. In the bigger picture of life, this all seems like a big waste of valuable time that could be used to do something on a lot higher level. There are millions of Packer fans who are feeling the exact same sting I do.

   Billions more who aren’t even football fans at all could not care any less. I doubt if five people in China were upset after the game or even know what football is. They’ve got other problems to think about and so do I. The Green Bay Packers and the NFL don’t need me, and I’m moving on.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Pictures In Motion

Saturday October 6^th, 2012 – Des Plaines, IL

   There’s nothing like having done something yourself to generate a special appreciation of those who are doing it now. Those who were waiters or waitresses themselves tend to tip bigger in bars and restaurants because they know exactly how hard those people work. They’ve experienced it.

   I received a call this afternoon from my director friend Mark Gumbinger asking if I’d like to go to a movie premiere in Des Plaines, IL this evening. He’d been given two extra tickets and didn’t know who else to ask that might enjoy something like that. It was a local production, and I love a chance to support something home grown whenever I can. I know how difficult projects can be.

   It can be even more difficult to get anyone out to appreciate the finished product, and I’ve been in that uncomfortable situation more times than I want to count. Nothing is an ego stomper like a venue full of empty seats. It drives home the point that out of more than seven BILLION people on our planet, less than fifty chose to sample your product on a given day. It’s pretty humbling.

   I know what it’s like to put my heart, soul and ego on the line, so I felt I owed it to the universe to go and support the people who put the work in on this project. Actually, there were four films on the bill and I enjoyed them all. The first three were not more than probably ten minutes each.

   The main event was about a 40 minute feature called “The Just”. It had a lot of interesting plot twists, and for what it was I really enjoyed it. I’ve seen or been a part of Mark’s productions for a while now and I know how much effort goes into putting something like that together. It’s brutal.

   There are all kinds of things going on behind the scenes that those who watch the final product never get to see, and it’s an education and a half being a part of it. It makes a person appreciate a bad project a lot more, as the amount of work that went into it is probably as much as with a hit.

   It’s very easy to be a back seat critic and rip the hell out of something, but I am reluctant to go there since I’ve had so many of my own projects disappoint me. I went in with low expectations, and they were exceeded. There were a few technical snafus as can likely happen, but all in all it was a very pleasant experience. I could see the work that went into all four films, and I respect it.

   Mark pointed out that the people who made these films have the same problems he faces – lack of budget and lack of star power. It’s hard to get any kind of heat going without any recognizable names to attract either viewers or buyers. Maybe some of these people will hit in the future, but it doesn’t help a lick now.  It doesn’t mean there wasn’t any talent there, just nobody was famous.

   Welcome to the shallow world of showbiz, baby! There’s never a shortage of wannabes but the amount of actual “bes” has always been and still is extremely low. That’s just how it is, and I am facing the same game in the comedy world. Wait and see how funny I’ll be if I ever get famous.

   Actually, I won’t be any funnier than I am now but people will THINK I am. That’s how it will be with these films. If anyone in them hits it big, they will be ‘classics’. I’m glad I came tonight.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Event Planning

Friday October 5^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   The love is starting to pour in for the big benefit fundraiser show on October 17^th at Shank Hall and I couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve tried to do benefits and fundraisers my whole life, and have usually lost my ass not to mention my dignity and self respect. It’s just plain hard to get anybody to come out for any reason these days, worthy cause or not. Still, I’m optimistic about this one.

   This is the right cause at the right time, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that. I put a ton of work into the C. Cardell Willis tribute show in April, and ended up losing money out of my pocket. Cardell was a great man and a kind soul, but for whatever reason the public wasn’t as touched by his contributions as I was. I put my heart and soul into that event, and it was just ok.

   This event will be in the exact same venue roughly six months later but I already feel far more of a buzz about it just under two weeks out. Granted, it’s a completely different situation but I’ve never felt such a positive rumble beforehand for any kind of event I have ever been involved in.

   Everything just seems to be falling into place. I’m very grateful for that, but I can’t say that I’m used to it. I’ve had to struggle so hard for so long to get any kind of attention about anything, but this is something all people I talk to just immediately plug into and support. I’m not complaining.

   I’m not doing any of this for me. I’m doing it for Officer Albert of course, but mainly I said I’d do it because my cousin Wendy asked me to. I had originally approached her about trying to do a similar event for Officer Brian Murphy who was shot in the Sikh Temple shooting a while back.

   I’d seen an article in the news about how he was recovering from multiple gunshot wounds and I wanted to show some support just from fellow human being to human being. I asked about how to set something like that up, and then this horrible accident happened with Officer Albert and an entirely different direction was taken. For whatever reason, it all fell together and is ready to go.

   Does it mean I feel any less badly for Officer Murphy? Of course not. I’ve never even met him, nor have I met Officer Albert as of yet. My heart goes out to both of them, as well as everyone in a similar situation – police officer or not. This is about showing human kindness to those in pain.

    I can’t help everyone, and unfortunately I can’t even help myself. My own life needs work on several levels, but whenever I think I have insurmountable problems I think of Officer Albert or Officer Murphy or some of our wounded military who are in their 20s with lost limbs and I feel like a whining pampered schmuck who needs to shut up and go help someone who can use it.

   I’m really encouraged by how well everything is coming together. My friend Bill Mihalic sent Jay Leno’s secretary a request for a signed picture for the auction and it arrived today along with a Tonight Show t-shirt. Hopefully that will fetch a nice buck, and 100% of it will go to the cause. I’m also receiving a generous supply of comedy CDs and DVDs sent in from all over the country from my comedy friends who want to pitch in and help. I appreciate every last one of them and it makes me feel good to know not everyone in the world is heartless. I’m feeling good about this.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Your Life Is Now

Thursday October 4^th, 2012 – Milwaukee, WI

   What are the three most difficult words for anyone to have to say? Are they “I love you?” or “I don’t know?” (Well, that could be considered four words if one counts the contraction.) Maybe it could be “The Bears win.” How about “Pass the liver?” I would cast my vote for “I was wrong.”

   I think that one can be the bitterest pill of all to swallow. Nobody likes to admit it, but I think it needs to be said when the situation calls for it. I’ve been saying those words frequently in the last few years and it actually gets easier the more I say them. I wish I didn’t have to, but it’s the truth.

   Some people just can’t seem to find it in their heart to say those words. Ever. I don’t ever recall my father saying those words to anyone. Everything was someone else’s fault, and he was on the receiving end pointing it out to anyone who would listen. After years of hearing it, it grows old.

   Then my father himself grew old, and he died. There weren’t enough people who cared enough for there to be a need for a funeral, and now it’s all over. What of all he ever did matters now? Is anything living on today because of him? The only things that live on with me are bad memories.

   I never got to have a father/son relationship with him, and there’s not even a single photograph of us together at any time in our lives. Not ONE. For whatever reason we never bonded, and now he’s dead and it’s too late. It all seems like such a waste, and I don’t want to carry on his legacy.

   I want to be the polar opposite of who he was and what he did, and leave pleasant and precious memories for both myself and those who were around me. I truly believe that’s all that matters in the end, and the end is coming for us all. I don’t want to waste any more time chasing the wind.

   There’s a touching song by John Cougar Mellencamp Fawcett Majors Rodham Clinton Abdul Jabbar or whatever his current name is called “Your Life Is Now”. I don’t consider myself a big fan of his, but that song really hits home in a major way. There’s a lyric that massages my heart and calls me. “Your father’s days are lost to you. This is your time here to do what you will do.”

   How true this is for all of us, and it inspires me to “do what I will do”. That’s why I am so glad to be able to do the upcoming benefit fundraiser for Officer Albert in Milwaukee on October 17^th at Shank Hall. It’s going to bring people together with a spirit of goodness and human kindness. I can’t help his injuries heal any faster, but hopefully I can make his recovery time more pleasant.

   I don’t claim to know everything or be right all the time, but this is the right thing to do. It’s an opportunity to spread – dare I say it – love. I never felt love from my father, and maybe he never felt it himself. Whatever the case, he’s gone now, and it’s “my time here, to do what I will do.”

   All that matters is showing kindness. That’s it. Everything else is meaningless. I have a ways to go as far as having everything figured out, but I know I’m on the correct path. I feel it. This is the kind of event that touches hearts and souls and that’s why we’re here. I’m not afraid to be wrong, and I’m not too proud to admit it whenever I am. This is not one of those times. My life is now.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary