Thursday October 4th, 2012 – Milwaukee, WI
What are the three most difficult words for anyone to have to say? Are they “I love you?” or “I don’t know?” (Well, that could be considered four words if one counts the contraction.) Maybe it could be “The Bears win.” How about “Pass the liver?” I would cast my vote for “I was wrong.”
I think that one can be the bitterest pill of all to swallow. Nobody likes to admit it, but I think it needs to be said when the situation calls for it. I’ve been saying those words frequently in the last few years and it actually gets easier the more I say them. I wish I didn’t have to, but it’s the truth.
Some people just can’t seem to find it in their heart to say those words. Ever. I don’t ever recall my father saying those words to anyone. Everything was someone else’s fault, and he was on the receiving end pointing it out to anyone who would listen. After years of hearing it, it grows old.
Then my father himself grew old, and he died. There weren’t enough people who cared enough for there to be a need for a funeral, and now it’s all over. What of all he ever did matters now? Is anything living on today because of him? The only things that live on with me are bad memories.
I never got to have a father/son relationship with him, and there’s not even a single photograph of us together at any time in our lives. Not ONE. For whatever reason we never bonded, and now he’s dead and it’s too late. It all seems like such a waste, and I don’t want to carry on his legacy.
I want to be the polar opposite of who he was and what he did, and leave pleasant and precious memories for both myself and those who were around me. I truly believe that’s all that matters in the end, and the end is coming for us all. I don’t want to waste any more time chasing the wind.
There’s a touching song by John Cougar Mellencamp Fawcett Majors Rodham Clinton Abdul Jabbar or whatever his current name is called “Your Life Is Now”. I don’t consider myself a big fan of his, but that song really hits home in a major way. There’s a lyric that massages my heart and calls me. “Your father’s days are lost to you. This is your time here to do what you will do.”
How true this is for all of us, and it inspires me to “do what I will do”. That’s why I am so glad to be able to do the upcoming benefit fundraiser for Officer Albert in Milwaukee on October 17th at Shank Hall. It’s going to bring people together with a spirit of goodness and human kindness. I can’t help his injuries heal any faster, but hopefully I can make his recovery time more pleasant.
I don’t claim to know everything or be right all the time, but this is the right thing to do. It’s an opportunity to spread – dare I say it – love. I never felt love from my father, and maybe he never felt it himself. Whatever the case, he’s gone now, and it’s “my time here, to do what I will do.”
All that matters is showing kindness. That’s it. Everything else is meaningless. I have a ways to go as far as having everything figured out, but I know I’m on the correct path. I feel it. This is the kind of event that touches hearts and souls and that’s why we’re here. I’m not afraid to be wrong, and I’m not too proud to admit it whenever I am. This is not one of those times. My life is now.
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