Saturday October 20th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL
Sometimes the funniest comedy happens naturally. I had a situation take place today I wouldn’t have thought of on my own in six lifetimes of writing jokes, and I’ll stash it safely in the archives for use in the future. I don’t know where I’ll use it or maybe I’ll give it away, but funny is funny.
I was at a restaurant and couldn’t help overhearing two teenage bus boys discussing what today was on the calendar. Apparently one of them thought it was ‘Swedish Day’ instead of ‘Sweetest Day’, and wanted to know why Swedish people would have a day named after them. No kidding.
They went on for several minutes, and the more they talked the funnier it got. It was something right out of an Abbott and Costello bit, and I could see a few other people pretending not to listen but they totally were. I didn’t hide it in the least, and openly gawked as they worked this all out.
Sweetest Day is a manufactured holiday, but I’m fine with it. I’m a romantic at heart, and love an excuse to make a woman feel special. I live for it. Too bad I haven’t found that special one to share my life with on a long term basis. I’m losing hope, but I know I’m not alone. It’s a fantasy I’m not sure exists for the vast majority of humans – or at least those that I encounter regularly.
Sure, there are people that stay together for a long time but are they happy? I realize life is one big roller coaster ride, but finding someone to hang in there for the whole thing is extremely rare. It would be great to have assurance that someone is ‘the one’, but there are never any guarantees.
Looking back at my tumultuous life, I just wasn’t ready to be married although I probably had the chance a few times had I really wanted to pursue it. I’m SO glad I was smart enough to keep myself out of that mix, as surely I’d have a much more complex set of problems than I do now.
Throw an ex wife, wives or children into the equation and life goes from simple addition to the most difficult kind of algebra. I always knew that, and was deathly afraid to take the giant plunge because I didn’t want to enter into something I was not ready for. I sure didn’t want to perpetuate the unhappiness and dysfunction of what I saw around me growing up, and I chose to go it alone.
It wasn’t the easiest choice, but I know it was the correct one. It’s funny to me how often there have been rumors that I’m gay, but nothing could be further from the truth. If I were, I’d be able to dance and I’d dress a lot better. It doesn’t bother me if someone is gay, but it surely isn’t me.
In fact, it’s just the opposite. I love being around women, and would love to hook up for a long term relationship with a sweetie but the chances are pretty slim. I’m pretty set in my ways at this point, and I can’t see myself giving up the creative freedom I have enjoyed for an entire lifetime.
I’m a big time flake to say the least, and I totally admit it. It would take a special woman to put up with all my quirks, and I have serious doubts she exists. It looks like I’ll be flying solo the rest of this trip, even though I still enjoy dating women and will continue to keep as many around me as possible. Maybe I’ll eventually find that special honey and take her out next ‘Swedish Day’.