Tuesday Without Clues Day

Tuesday October 16th, 2007 - Lake Villa, IL

Still bummed out about yesterday. Tony Miller’s funeral was very sad. Here’s a guy that only wanted to make people laugh and to get struck down so young and with so painful of an affliction just doesn’t seem fair. Example after of example of scumbags living way long and inflicting their evil on everyone else are everywhere. My father was a perfect example.

If my father had died at 42 that would have made me 16. He’d be a distant memory and I would have not had to deal with his black hearted coldness as long as I did. The damage from childhood was over by then but he still did a whole lot of mean things after age 16. I tried to make it right with him but never got how much pain he inflicted on others. He was clueless his whole life but he had 69 years to spread around his evil. Tony had to die at 42.

If Tony had gotten a chance to live until he was my father’s age of 69 he’d still have lots of quality shows in him and years to spread his humor to people who really need it. That’s a full 27 years of doing good. Instead Tony’s gone and it doesn’t seem like it’s very fair. It was a big year for quality people passing. Cardell Willis and Tom Green died earlier in the year and now Tony. I knew Tom and Cardell very well but I only knew Tony a little bit.

Pat Brice is another guy who passed way too soon in my opinion. He was only 30 and it looked like he was headed for a very bright future. Why does this happen? It seems to be a common story and I have never been able to figure out why. It’s not just comedians either. I always see on the news where a cop gets shot trying to nail a crook and leaves behind his young children and pregnant wife. They are the ones who always seem to die early. Why?

I don’t have an answer. Neither did the person who bled my bank account dry. I dreaded a sit down meeting with that person but there was nothing I could do to avoid it. It was an ugly and uncomfortable situation but there was a wrong done that I needed to get righted.

I’m not going to get into it here just because it’s too painful to talk about. Someone that I really trusted stung me and it really hurts. It was over money too and not all that much in the scheme of things. It’s a few thousand but in my world right now that’s a lot of dough.

Sitting there and not having any emotions was VERY difficult. I feel used and raped and I posed the question ‘Ok, what would YOU do if you were me in this situation?’ All I saw was a blank stare at the floor and silence for a few seconds. Then I heard ‘I don’t know.’

You don’t KNOW? You surely knew when you were taking my money and living off of it. Now you’re clueless? That doesn’t seem right. I am going to learn a painful lesson from this and actually it could have been a LOT worse. It’s bad but it won’t kill me. It’s kind of inconvenient and it will set me back a little but I can and will recover from it. But it hurts.

Good thing it happened before I started out full tilt into my business idea. I will no doubt learn even more painful lessons as that progresses but I am not going to let this stop me. I will press on and keep fighting but this sure was a bump in the road. Time to drive over it.