Was (Not Was) Is Back!

Sunday June 15th, 2008 - Kenosha, WI/Lake Villa, IL

Father’s Day. No big deal. The revolving apple of my life currently has the bullet proof side facing out and not the wormy part. When I’m like this nothing bothers me and I have a callous so thick nothing can penetrate it. When the wormy side rolls around it‘s a totally different story. EVERYTHING reminds me of some painful memory but that‘s not today.

The positive I was able to do this week was to write those heartfelt letters to my brother Larry and my sister Tammy. They both should have gotten them by now and whether they respond or not is out of my hands. I wrote my sincere feelings and put my emotions out to possibly be stomped on but that’s a chance I felt I had to take. Now I’ll see what happens.

Even if it’s more silence at least I made a well thought out attempt. I’ve got a lot boiling on my personal stove right now and thoughts of Father’s Day and my sister’s birthday are only a few of the things swirling around up in the blender that is my brain. It’s on ‘puree’.

I talked to my friend Max down in Springfield because he’s one of the few people who totally gets what I’m talking about concerning broken families. His father is a lout and as boorish and rude as mine was. Max has the same feelings of inner torture I do and each of us call the other when we’re feeling low because it totally helps to talk to a kindred spirit.

Max was feeling down because he came to the realization that no matter how well he is doing he will always have that hole in his life where a father and mother should be and so do I. I was having a ‘bullet proof’ day as we refer to them but he was feeling a little down. I’m glad I called because he needed to unload a little and he’s been there for me as well.

We got to talking about how as we get older the desire for success and accomplishment to please the old man or get his attention or whatever the real reason is starts to fade and I totally agree. I still want to succeed and accomplish things but I want to do it for ME. We have both come farther than anyone expected us to but now we’re hacking through life.

Max has said many times and he said it again that if going to the Loop and getting fired after a year and humiliated and dragged through the mud for no real reason is what it took to hook us up then it was totally worth it. What an honor to hear those words but I have to agree with him. Max and I bond on a level that is deeper than most anyone I‘ve ever met.

It’s a bond of inner pain and turmoil and knowing we don’t want to turn out like either one of our fathers who were both wastes of DNA. Mine is dead and Max’s soon will be because he drinks and smokes and doesn’t take care of himself or try to make up for his shoddy treatment to his kids either. There’s no guilt whatsoever and Max is stung by it.

He told me he is working so hard and accomplishing things so he won’t be like his old man but I told him he already isn’t. He’s a great father and husband and is ambitious like few people I’ve ever met. He is on the radio and has rental properties and owns a deli and ice cream shop and he just applied to be the GM at his radio station. That boy is a hustler.

He’s got my life savings up as collateral on his ice cream shop and he keeps telling me that’s the best investment I’ve ever made because it will pay off beyond my imagination when he hits it big and I really think he will. That’s not why I did it though. I did it so he could live his dream and not be a boil on the ass of society like his father. He’s a winner.

I need people like that around me for my own launch into the business world. Max is a big believer in the Uranus project and at some point I know he’ll help me down the road. If nothing else he calls me and prods me to keep working on it and he told me that he has the figure of $10 million in his head for some reason. That’s how much he says I’ll make.

The more I think about it the more I don’t think that’s out of line. It might take a while but that’s ok. I don’t expect anything for nothing and I am thrilled to oversee the process of this whole thing. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything so having the little victories helps make winning a habit so when big success comes I’ll be ready for it.

One thing I did accomplish was buying the new CD from Was (Not Was) which is one of my all time favorite bands. For a dorky white boy from Wisconsin I sure do have some eclectic musical tastes. I’m by far not the average cheese head who listens to classic rock over and over again and nothing else. I like to find those rare artists that need to be heard.

Was (Not Was) is a group like that and a great one. They have a CD called “What Up Dog?” and every song on it is fantastic. The whole CD flows extremely well and all the songs fit together and it’s a treat to listen to it whenever I can. I never get sick of it and I have owned it since it came out in 1988 I think it was. They had a follow up to it in 1990.

I just found out they released a new one in the last month or so and I went immediately to find it and I did. I only got a chance to hear the first song but I already like it. They are one of the most interesting lyrical bands I’ve ever heard and that’s important to me in my musical appetite. I love someone who can turn a clever phrase and paint a picture for me.

One of their songs from “What Up Dog?” talks about a strained relationship between a father and a son. It’s called ‘Somewhere In America There’s A Street Named After My Dad’. Then it has the tag line ‘…and the home we never had.’ When I heard that song for the first time it went right to my heart and stayed there and I have loved them ever since.

They’ve really got a lot of talent and it’s beyond me why they’re not superstars. They’re doing alright I guess and Don Was has produced a ton of huge acts in the last 15 years or so but their own music just resonates deeply in my soul and I love it. I can’t wait to hear a whole new CD by them and as soon as I’m done typing I’m going to sit back and enjoy it.

This is a good time right now. The Mothership Connection radio show is building and I can see that continuing even though two guests backed out on us today and we had to talk off the cuff for two hours. We’ll get back in a groove next week. WLS is fun too. Our big week at Zanies is now here and we’ll get a chance to see if we’re a draw or not. Whatever happens we’ll have a fun week to remember and I’ll forget about my father even more.