Good Day Bad Night

Monday January 5th, 2009 - Chicago, IL

Back in the Monday night Zanies groove. It felt good to be off for a couple of weeks but I’m glad to be back even though tonight’s audience was like a mausoleum. I enjoy getting a chance to work with the younger generation of Chicago comics as they scratch and claw their way up the ladder just like I did before them and like so many others did before me.

Every comedian who has ever stepped on a stage has had to deal with a stiff audience. It goes with being a performer. Some nights are pure ecstasy and others are like a black hole without the party atmosphere. Life is sucked out of the room and it’s like a bad dream but the only people sleeping are in the audience. The performer is WIDE awake for all of it.

This was one of those nights. Blame it on the new year or the weather or the full moon or pure random chance but the few people who decided to come to a comedy show on this night would have been better served watching bed bugs fornicate or a cab driver sneeze.

At least the bed bugs or the cab driver could have gotten a different reaction because the people tonight sure didn’t come to laugh. I am a very experienced host of standup comedy shows and I know what buttons to push to get people going or at least I thought I did. Not tonight apparently. They just sat on their hands the whole night and stared straight ahead.

Such is the life of a comedian. I still got paid and I’m very grateful for that and I’ll get a new group next week to try it all over again. Chances are they’ll be a whole lot better and I’ll have forgotten all about tonight and life will go on. But for right now it stings a little.

Nobody wants to go up and have to jump start a bunch of stiffs but that’s our job. They came out to see a show or at least I think they did. Some of them might have just come in from the cold to get a drink and some stale nachos. For whatever reason this is who came out and this is who we had to entertain on this night. That’s the challenge of the business.

No matter how good any show goes there’s a whole new group of people to have to win over right around the corner. Sometimes it’s later the same night or the next night or even worse a long time away. That hurts the worst because a bad show lays there and festers.

The comics tonight handled it as well as they could. Nobody gave up and they went out and gave it their all as did I. That’s all a comic can do but when the audience stares at the entire show it becomes obvious it’s not the comedians’ fault this time. This was on them.

Sometimes it is the comedians’ fault. I have seen many good audiences sit silent due to a lack of good performers but tonight wasn’t that at all. It was a scattered at random group of 35-40 people who happened to gather at one place on this night and it just didn’t click.

It’s like a bad first date or sitting next to a dweeb on an airplane flight. It’s a pain in the ass for a couple of hours and it seems longer than it is as it’s happening but then it’s over and it isn’t thought of again. I’ve had nights like this before and will again. Shake it off.

That’s part of being a professional. I don’t take any of it personally and don’t feel bad in the least. Actually I’m feeling pretty good because I spent the rest of the day working hard at what I intended to work on. I am getting some nice momentum going on my business.

The four big projects I’m working on are all kind of interlinked so whatever I finish for one is good for the others. I’m working on Uranus Factory Outlet and comedy classes and those are both ultimately going to be mail order businesses. The same principles will have to be used for each one of them if they’ll be successful so that’s what I worked on today.

I did some reading of the Tyler Hicks mail order books I just bought and they are really well crafted. There are a lot of bite size tips and hints in them and it’s just what I need for learning the ropes of this new endeavor. I’m familiarizing myself with the people who are successful and modeling their methods so I can be the same. I really am enjoying all of it.

There are all kinds of ideas bouncing around in my head and I feel like a kid with a new toy. I can’t wait to try out these marketing ideas but it will be a little while before I get my foundation laid so I can do that. That’s what I’m doing now. This is the smart way to do it in my opinion and since I’m footing the bill my opinion counts. I feel I’m doing it right.

Tyler Hicks has a monthly newsletter he’s been publishing for 45 years. He’s got a great gimmick that if a person buys a five year subscription he’ll put a free ad in the newsletter and he’ll also give his opinion on one project or idea a subscriber has. That got me to sign up for the five years at $120. It’s only $24 a year or $2 a month but he’s got my money.

I also bought one of his publications that tells how to start a profitable newsletter and it gives examples of ones that have been successful and tips and hints to keep it successful. I don’t know if anyone would buy a newsletter from Uranus but you can sure expect there to be one available in the very near future. Would you spend $2 a month to go to Uranus?

Maybe it won’t work for Uranus but it might work for comedy. Gene Perret’s daughter Linda has been publishing a comedy writer’s newsletter for over 20 years. It’s $60 a year which is $5 a month and I’ve been subscribing to it forever. It’s got a lot of good articles in it and I’ve even written a few over the years. Would I say it was worth it? Absolutely.

These are the kinds of things that were there the whole time but I really didn’t think of at least not for me. I didn’t really think a newsletter could bring in much income but now I’m learning that it’s not only the income it brings but the contact names and that’s where the real money is. Ah, I’m starting to get it now. It’s how many people know about me.

I gladly spent the $120 and signed up for the mail order newsletter. I will get my chance to run my idea past a master and let him shred it to bits or add to it. Either one will help to make it better and I’ll keep doing that with as many people as I can until I’m a master too.

It was really fun to read about the mail order business and order the newsletter and keep myself moving forward. One little bad audience didn’t bother me at all. I’m way past that.