Mail Pattern Boldness

Tuesday January 13th, 2008 - St. Ignace, MI

Up way too early this morning but I needed to get things done before leaving for my gig in the U.P. of Michigan. I needed to stop first at my web person Shelley’s house to unlock the mysteries of what my ex business partner did with our old mailing list. Actually that’s the same list he’s pounding now trying to get students for the ‘class’ he’s trying to steal.

At this point the whole thing makes me want to violently upchuck and I’m just sick of it all. I don’t want to deal with it but the smart thing is to do exactly that. Those emails were difficult to come by and I earned every one of them. Some were long time fans and others were from past classes that had nothing to do with that leech whatsoever. It’s frustrating.

Still others were my personal friends and that’s what hurts the most about him doing all of this. They’ve been asking me why they’re getting emails out of the blue to sign up for a comedy class from some halfwit they don’t even know taught by another unknown goof.

I don’t even want to get into the story with anyone anymore but people keep asking and I try to keep it as short as possible and avoid the subject. That guy is bothering my friends just like he bothered me when he stole my money. I just wish it would all go away quietly but it appears to be doing anything but that. I’m too busy to worry about minutia like this.

Shelley found the mailing list embedded in a disc he’d sent a while back and she said it was hidden somehow and very difficult to find. I’m not very good at that kind of stuff and I admit it but it’s not my field of expertise. She said she thought he deliberately made it as difficult as possible and I don’t even want to go there in my head. I want this to be over.

He’s going to do what he’s going to do but whatever that is he’s following my lead. I’m the one who came up with the idea of a comedy class and he didn’t. I’m the one that did it successfully for fifteen years at the biggest comedy club in Chicago and he didn’t. He had a hand in helping me market it but that’s it. The passion and innovation came from me.

Now I have to build a new team of people to help market and execute the classes that is better than before. I’ll admit the two of us had a nice system going there for a while. He’d market the classes and sign people up and I’d show up and teach them. That’s how I want it but I paid a huge price for that convenience. I gave him free reign over all of the money.

If that’s not 100% pure and uncut stupidity I don’t know what is. Maybe there’s a touch of naivety thrown in there too for flavor. Whatever the case I should NEVER have thrown the keys to the vault to my partner without checking in once in a while. I got scorched in a way I didn’t expect but it sure was a painful lesson and continues to be one now. It stings.

But I don’t think that way. I wouldn’t steal money from anyone else because I couldn’t. I have an ultra sensitive conscience and it would really bother me knowing I had property I didn’t rightfully own whether it was money or anything else. I don’t want that feeling. If I have to steal from someone else to get ahead it‘s not real success to me. I want to earn it.

I heard a story just recently about Dane Cook getting ripped off by his manager that was a step brother or something. Dane Cook isn’t particularly funny to me but I feel for him in that regard. He’s a brilliant marketer and for that I respect him totally. He found his group of people to build a nation wide fan base and he put together a multimillion dollar career.

That’s not easy to do. I know, I’ve been trying to do it for over twenty years and I barely make enough to have one comma in my yearly earnings total. Dane Cook consistently had packed houses coming to see him in basketball arenas and out earned my yearly total in a single night. I’m sure it was fun and I’m sure he didn’t have time to monitor his finances.

I’m not sure how much got stolen from him but I’m sure it was a lot more than my total. Percentage wise it might have been similar but I’m sure Dane Cook felt the same emotion cycle I felt and am still feeling now. First there’s disbelief. Then comes anger. Then it’s a matter of just wanting it to be over with and move on. Bitterness is thrown in there too.

It really hurts because it’s so unfair. Dane Cook built himself into being that huge draw, not his step brother or whomever it was. It doesn’t matter if I think the guy is funny. He’s found a large group of paying customers who do so good for him. They seemed to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy did the same thing. He found his audience. I happen to think Jeff is very funny and always did. Just because I was too stupid to jump on the redneck bandwagon at the time he thought of it doesn’t mean I didn’t think he was funny. He was and still is. He is also a smart business person. I never heard any stories of Jeff getting embezzled from.

Still, whether he ever did or didn’t have problems with that it’s difficult to watch all the money closely and still watch the career too. If anyone else can do it I admire that person more than I can put into words. I haven’t been able to do it but I sure will get better at it.

Everyone and their dog’s grandma’s best friend’s babysitter is giving me advice on how I need to handle this situation with Jeff’s management company. I appreciate a kind word of well meaning advice but I’ve been getting way more than I bargained for. I guess there are a lot of people who have aspirations of being Dear Abby or something. I’m amazed.

It’s very flattering to know so many people are following this but it’s funny to see all of the conflicting advice I’m getting. Fly out there and storm the office. Lay low and look to have them come to me. Send the lady flowers. It doesn’t quit. But I appreciate the effort.

The bottom line is I need to do what she told me to do. I called Marc Schultz today and he is going to put together a DVD package of my best stuff. I have some decent video that will showcase my comedy but that’s probably not what they want. A lot of guys have that.

They want to see what else I’ve got that can make them money. I totally get that concept and I think I can deliver. No, I know I can deliver to someone. Now I have to find out just who that someone is. I hope it’s these people because I’d love to work on Jeff’s team on a regular basis just because he’s such a class act. I’ll make my pitch and see what happens.