Six Apples In

Tuesday January 6th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

The new year didn’t really change much but I’m changing little by little and it’s good. If I keep this up I’ll be a lot better off a year from now but there are no guarantees of that for anyone. We could all die at any time and all we have is today. My todays are going well.

One of the changes I’m putting in for 2009 is the old apple a day gimmick. I’m going to really try and scarf down at least an apple a day every day this year. I know for a fact I’ve never done that before in any other year so it would be a small victory if I did. Plus it’s an easy goal to achieve because it isn’t expensive or difficult. It’s a few minutes of chewing.

It’s a lot more than that too. This little diary started out as a few days in a row and now it’s coming up on three years running. It’s a part of my day now and I wouldn’t feel good if I didn’t do it and I hope to make the daily apple that way too. Not only is it just a food thing I want it to be a focus thing too. I’ll rehash my dreams and goals as I eat my apple.

I never really liked apples particularly and I suppose I could do a banana or a mango or just about any other fruit because a lot of fruits are funnier than apples. Boysenberries are way funnier than apples. So are apricots. Papayas are a riot. But an apple a day is my gig.

This is only six days in but I swear I already feel better. Eating healthy is difficult and I won’t make a stupid resolution to change dramatically overnight and never eat one single bit of junk food ever again but if I can down an apple in the morning maybe I won’t want at least SOME of my bacon and eggs. One step at a time and this is a big one. I feel good.

Another thing that feels good is I’m still moving ahead with my business plans. There’s a whole lot to get done and I won’t finish it in a day but I’m putting my time in and that’s all I can do. Eating one apple a day won’t unclog the six entire dead cows I have clogging my lower colon from all the Big Macs and bloody rare steaks I’ve eaten but it’s a start.

It’s six days into 2009 and I’m very pleased with what I’ve done so far. I’ve read books and listened to tapes and contacted the kind of quality people I want to associate with and some of them have even contacted me first. I’m starting to build a team and that’s what is really going to put all this over the top. I am at the head of several successful teams now.

The Mothership Connection radio show is starting to take shape for example. There are several people involved and all of them contribute in one way or another and even though I am the leader of it I just pass the ball around and let the team score. They’re all talented and creative and add to the mix. I just drive the bus. Together we’ll all get somewhere.

The comedy classes are another team. Kathy Romanowski and Rick Piccolo have been a real help the last few months since my former partner had his little embezzlement party. They have been very enthusiastic and helpful and even though I call the final shots for all the ideas they have a major say in how it’s being built. We’re still growing and getting an idea of what we want to do but I can already feel a major improvement and I’m excited.

The classes should be up and running again by next month. I hope. We had a meeting in St. Charles tonight and the goal is to make a schedule and sign people up and get back up and running in February. If that doesn’t fill up we’ll try it in March. Or April. Whatever is needed I’ll do because I know the classes will be worth it all. They always are. It’s a blast.

I’m not going to let the scorched situation of what happened stop me from doing this. If I have to change it all around or move it somewhere else or whatever it is I’m going to get it done. I know I can help people with these classes because it isn’t just about being funny or telling jokes. This is about self esteem and respect and dignity and all things positive.

The people that have gone up and graduated have told me time and time again how they have never felt so good about themselves in their entire life. Kathy Romanowski took the class a dozen years ago and she STILL says it was a highlight of her life. Now she’s going to help me get the classes back up bigger and better than ever and that’s totally a win/win.

Eventually this will have to be an online course, at least for the basics. That’s where the mail order part of it comes in. If I’m selling whoopee cushions and garlic gum on Uranus Factory Outlet’s website I can be selling comedy courses and writing courses on the other site. Either way it will still involve mail order skills and that’s why I’m studying so hard.

Another thing that I’m putting heavy thought into is who I want around me for all this. I have hand picked a group of people I think are wonderfully creative and positive and I am thrilled to know as friends. I don’t care about age or looks or religion or politics or weight or anything other than CREATIVE and FUNNY. Desire helps too. I want the hungry.

I’ve got a great cast of characters lining up. The Mothership has it’s crew and so do the comedy classes. Uranus Factory Outlet is going to be the main focus eventually though. It will be like George Clinton’s Parliament/Funkadelic music empire or even Motown way before that. George and Barry Gordy ran the controls but in both cases it was group effort.

That’s what I want to develop on Uranus too. I talked again with Eddie Horn and he is a real dynamo. He’s got puppets and energy and loves to work on projects and he will make me work harder just to keep up with him. I feel a great vibe from him and he’ll surely add a lot of unique spice to the mix. He’s going to be one who really contributes. I can feel it.

My childhood friend Tom Orlando is another one. He’s both funny and a smart business person and I need both of those. I talked to him on the phone today and he made me laugh out loud when he said ‘You’ll go out of business when people stop farting.’ I think I’ll be in business for a while if that’s the case. He’s right though. This is all one big fart joke.

But it’s going to be a lot more clever than that. I want to work with clever funny people who create laughs on many levels in many venues. Dented cans are welcome on Uranus. I want to fan the flames of creativity I see in people like Wally Wang and Danny Storts and Jeff Lampton and Max Bumgardner and Kristi McHugh and Sheri Johnson and a lot more people nobody else has heard of. I know these people are sharp and can add to the whole.