Keeping It Clean

Wednesday May 12th, 2010 - Oregon, IL

I had what was probably one of my top three personal best comedy shows EVER today, and I’m feeling like a total loser. It’s mixed emotions to the tenth power. The show itself was as good as I could be, and I’m a tough critic. Too bad not a lot of people were around to see it. I feel like I missed my career bus, and am trying to hitch hike across the country.

The gig was booked by Marc Schultz at the White Pines State Park in Oregon, IL. They have a nice campground facility there that also has log cabins. There’s a restaurant on the grounds that has a theatre space attached that seats about 150 people. They have all kinds of entertainment apparently from celebrity music impersonators to bands to funny plays.

Marc has booked acts there before, but they’ve never had a standup comic, mostly due to the common (and too often justified) concern that the act will be dirty. Marc sent them my Craig Ferguson set on a DVD and the woman in charge bought me directly off of it.

That’s the main reason to get a TV credit, so as to parlay it into more work. Marc says a lot of places he’s tried to sell me before were afraid to book me because they thought I’m ‘too clubbish’, and didn’t know if I could do a clean set. The TV credit legitimizes me.

The good thing about all this is it’s starting to expand my venues. The bad thing is, I’m at the ‘tweener’ age. I’m getting old for young crowds and am young for old ones. I know I can do well with most audiences, but nobody handles them all. NOBODY. Anyone who says they ‘kill everywhere’ is a bald faced liar. Different audiences have different tastes.

Today’s gig couldn’t have gone any better. It was a 1pm show, right after the lunch but before dessert. They wanted me to do a solid hour, but no intermission as is sometimes an obstacle for comedy. There were about 55-60 people in the audience, and I doubt if any of them were under 50. I was told a church group was to be there, but I think they cancelled.

The woman in charge named Beth was both extremely friendly and professional, as was everybody else I met from staff. The audience was used to seeing shows, and was right on target from start to finish. These people were WONDERFUL, and it was a treat to get the opportunity to perform for them - even if the place wasn’t sold out. Still, it wasn’t easy.

A large portion of the audience consisted of The Red Hat Society. I’ve dealt with them a few times before, and they’re usually sweet people. Today was no exception, and all of them sat in one section and were great laughers. They’re a group of ladies 50ish and over and I think they do charity work as part of their group. They’re usually very conservative.

Marc Schultz told me this would be a clean show, and I had no problem with that. I can keep it squeaky clean, which I did today. I didn’t say even one ‘damn’ or ‘hell’, and if the church group had shown up, there wouldn’t have been any complaints. I was ready for it. This was a show that very few working club comedians could have pulled off, and I knew it as I was doing it. I adjusted myself accordingly, and I pulled off a solid hour on stage.

I challenge anyone who’s ever tried to be a comedian to do that. Believe me, it’s not at a small accomplishment. It took every single ounce of the experience I’ve earned for all my years of honing my craft thousands of times on stage all over North America and Canada to make today happen, and keep this group of seniors laughing without being off color.

I don’t usually work blue anyway, but sometimes that’s the direction the audience wants to go. I’m not offended at all by any swearing, and it can be a tool in the right situation on stage. This wasn’t the place to use it, and I knew that going in. It was a challenge, but I’ve always loved challenges and that’s why it felt so good to pull off such a solid show today.

There were a lot of things going both for and against me, but in the end I nailed it. That was what was so satisfying. People lined up to have me autograph their programs and get a picture with me and I did whatever they asked me to. I also heard over and over “I loved the fact you kept it CLEAN.” I know there’s a HUGE market for comedy that isn’t dirty.

The trouble is, most club comics who are funny can’t adjust, and most people who do a clean act aren’t funny. It’s a very fine line, and not many can do it. I was proud of myself, mainly for the fact that I knew where the line was the whole time and knew I wouldn’t let myself cross it. I had to really work hard to be in the moment and focus on getting laughs.

One of the Red Hat ladies went off on a tangent halfway through the show, but I knew I couldn’t flip out on her. She wasn’t mean or heckling, she just made comments that were a little out there. I took it and ran with it and got about five minutes of ad libs that had the whole audience laughing, but I didn’t have to slam the lady who said it. It was all in fun.

A lot of the skills I used today I learned from my mentor C. Cardell Willis. I used to sit and watch him work for older crowds, and he really knew how to do it. He slowed down, became much more animated than usual and he never got angry at them when they would talk to him during the show. Those were a lot of the very same techniques I used today.

I’ll admit I threw in a couple of old jokes too, but I knew exactly when to do them and I leaned into it and SOLD them like I just thought of it. That’s the key in that situation. It’s very much an attitude and likeability is very important. I was firing on all cylinders today, only because I knew what this audience wanted and gave it to them - for one whole hour.

That’s a long time on stage in any scenario, much less this one. I did my preparation for this show and it paid off with the satisfaction of both audience and venue. They said they want me back next year, and I’ll gladly do it. The bad part was I wasn’t able to draw flies.

That’s what made me feel so low afterward. I don’t mind performing for older crowds, and in fact if they were like today I’d love it. There are cruise ships that pay well and lots of active assisted living centers that would probably love to see a clean show like this and pay for it too. Still, I’m not known and haven’t been able to develop a draw. I could have easily been just as funny for 550-600 people as I was for 55-60. I got a nice payday today and am grateful for it, but the venue didn’t get rich. My show was hot, my business - not.