Tuesday July 27th, 2010 - Lake Villa, IL The hardest part of being creative is having to kill a pet project. It’s torture. Pure pain. It usually boils down to a matter of not having enough time to devote to make the idea work properly. No matter how well one balances a time schedule, certain things just don’t fit. I’m having that problem with The Mothership Connection radio show right now. I don’t have the time to forge ahead to whatever next level there is because I’m too busy with my other projects that at least have a chance to return a profit. The show is at a crossroads. I don’t regret doing the show for a minute. It’s been fun and informative and I know we do have a following, even though I don’t know exactly how many or where they might be located. Cyberspace is a big place, and we have new people tuning in to us all the time. People in Kenosha seem to enjoy it too. We get calls every week, and whenever I walk into the station during the day, someone always comes up and says how much they enjoy the show. I know they’re telling the truth because they quote lines I said back to me. I can feel there’s an audience for the show, but now I need to make a buck with it or shut down. Those are pretty much my choices. I talked with John Perry about it and told him where my situation stands. If I get booked by Carnival for cruise ship work I’m going to have to take it, at least for a while. That would probably ruin our schedule for live shows, but we still might not be dead yet. I need to find a way to be able to record shows for future use. There’s a station in Waukegan, IL that’s owned by the same company and they said we may be able to record some stuff over there like interviews with people who can’t be with us live, stuff like that. I’d need to improve my engineering skills and/or hire somebody. I always feel skittish about asking for favors, but now it’s become a necessity. I have to have certain things done or I can’t do the show anymore. I just can’t. It’s too much time I could be doing something else productive and I’m to the point of quitting and moving on. If I would keep doing it, there needs to be some changes made in the format, crew and a few other things to make it exactly where I like it. Then more importantly, I have to make it ready for a syndication deal, or at least a chance to get paid from where we’re doing it. That’s my challenge - make this project profitable, or park The Mothership in cornfield. I would hate to see it die completely, just like Jerry’s Kidders. There’s been a lot of work put into both, but a lot of fun had also. They’re like children, and it’s hard to see children die. But I’m afraid if I can’t make a buck with it, I’ll have to abandon it at least for now. There really is a lot going on right now. I thought I had a plan, but again I feel it drifting away and out of control. I have a constant need to regroup, reorganize and refocus on the projects I’m working on to make sure I don’t let one take all of them off course. This will be a test of my organizing skills. Either I’ll find a way to make it work or it will be done.
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