Wednesday January 4th, 2012 - Fox Lake, IL Four days into a new year, and already my time demands are being stretched to beyond the limits of reason. I have all I can handle and then some on my plate, and I’m trying to be smart about how I choose to invest my time each day. I know I can’t get to everything, so that’s why it’s so important to have a plan. Unfortunately, plan making takes time too. So does exercise. That’s now part of my daily mix as well, and before I know it days are shrinking even quicker than if I just sat around goofing off like most comics do during the day. I like doing nothing as much as the next guy, but I feel my window closing and know I need to cut mud in order to make something magic happen before I’m put out to pasture. For now, I’ve been combining planning and exercise sessions with daily walks through the Gurnee Mills Mall. It’s an all around effort, both to crawl out of the rack that early in the morning and the actual drive itself. I have to really make a solid commitment, but so far I’ve found the time. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment and also lets me think. This whole mess with my uncle’s death has really got my attention. He lived a textbook example of how not to go out, and the stench of his actions still lingers. He sucked all the positive energy out of his kids, and didn’t take time to make any special memories with a lovely and only grandchild. He went to his grave miserable, and there’s no excuse for it. He chose to be a flaming bilge hole, as did my father. The results trickled down to their children, with less than stellar results. I know I’ve struggled with how to deal with it for a lifetime, and only now do I feel like I’m finally and truly able to get past it. It’s a tad late, but it doesn’t mean I’ll never accomplish anything positive. I’m out here slugging daily. If I were headed down the path most of my family took, cancer wouldn’t have a chance. I’d have a bullet in my head before the disease could take root. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was consciously hurting those closest to me, and even picturing it is a downer. I’ve had enough downers for one lifetime, and it’s time for some sunshine. I see a razor sharp crystal clear picture in my mind’s eye of me being a positive energy force that looks and feels vibrant and alive and lights up a room whenever I walk in. I want to develop the reputation of being a helper, giver, mentor and I want to have made a positive difference. Sure, I’ve helped a few along the way but I could do SO much more - and I want to. It’s who I am, to the core. I don’t know if it’s a genetic thing, a Pisces thing or that I’m an old soul and have lived before. I don’t claim to have all or even a few of the answers, but I do claim the fact I’ve decided to let it rip when it comes to giving my best effort every day. I am the maestro of my own life, and I’m picturing a closing number that will make the 1812 Overture sound like a polka. That will take substantial effort, and I’m now putting it all together on a daily basis. Time is now the enemy, and a wily one at that. It’s a constant battle to squeeze the most out of every hour of every day, but I’m getting better in a hurry.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment