Not Funny Now

Thursday September 27th, 2007 - Milwaukee, WI/Lake Villa, IL

All over the place today. It started out on the wrong foot and slid downward from there. I was up late working on my movie script and actually making some progress. I apparently unplugged the computer somehow and it was on battery power and it just shut down. I did not expect that at all and I lost all I had been working on. I was infuriated but what could I do? I tried calling a couple of computer geek types I know and they said the same thing. It was gone forever and there was nothing I could do about it. My frustration was immense.

I couldn’t sleep so I just plugged it in and started over. It’s difficult to recreate the exact words but I remembered bits and pieces and I did the best I could. I ended up going to bed at 4:45am and had to be right back up to pick up my friend Will C. who was coming to get the Cougar and drive it back to Kansas City for his son. His flight was at O’Hare at 8am.

Will is a great guy and a dented can and I get everything about him. He’s doing this for a reason I can relate to. He didn’t get it from his father and he would have loved it. He’s not going to deprive his son of a lifetime memory and if I can be part of it I’m all for it. He has a good heart and I know how much it means to him to be able to do something for his son.

That doesn’t mean this came off without a hitch though. I got up and groggily turned on the TV to check traffic and the halfwit bubblehead said the direction I was going was clear of backups. I got out there and it was a parking lot. I tried going back roads and that made it even worse. I was supposed to be there at 8am but didn’t get there until almost 9:30.

It was one backup after the next and I was supposed to be in Milwaukee to be on ESPN Radio’s D List with my friend Drew Olson. The pressure was on and I can’t stand that. He is easygoing and wouldn’t be upset but I told him I was coming and I wanted to show up.

When I got to the airport the ramp leading to it was closed. I was stunned. I’ve NEVER seen that in all my years of living in and around Chicago. It was under construction so the only thing I could do was go around and that was a way bigger hassle than if I’d just tried a commando attack and plowed right through the construction barriers. What a nightmare.

I finally got there and found Will and then I discovered that the door lock on my ‘new’ car was stuck and I couldn’t open the passenger door. Will got in the back like a cab and I told him about what happened and he laughed but I didn’t find the funny in it at that time. It’s a feeling of overwhelm and frustration when this happens and it happens in big waves.

Today was a tidal wave. We fought traffic and the clock going the other way back home so I could let Will take the Cougar to his gig on the south side and I would hopefully catch a break and make it to Milwaukee for the radio show but that was not to be on this day.

My Honda with the shaky transmission was still at the auto auction lot. It’s hard to drive two cars with one fanny so I stopped on the way so Will could help drive one of them. If I took the Honda to the transmission shop I could get a diagnosis and see if I would keep it.

On paper that all sounded fine but it got lost in the execution. I asked Will which one he wanted to drive and he just randomly picked the Honda. I gave him the keys and he got in. I was in the Mitsubishi and told him to follow me. I made a left out of the lot but he didn’t follow right away and I don’t blame him at all. There were a couple of cars coming and to be in a strange car for ten seconds it might not be safe to gun it on a left turn in traffic. I’m actually glad he did wait so I pulled over in a gas station lot a block away to wait for him.

Unfortunately he didn’t see me there and kept going straight at an intersection where we needed to turn. That’s why I was in the gas station lot but he didn’t know that. I called his cell phone but of course it was still in the back seat of my car in Will’s luggage. I couldn’t get in a hold of him and he was in a strange town in a strange car with a bad transmission.

I followed him the direction he went and of course I saw him coming back the other way on a road on which it was impossible to make a u-turn. There were guard rails and I had a hell of a time turning around but I eventually did. I decided to go back to where we began at the auction lot but he wasn’t there either. Time was ticking away and I was so frazzled I couldn’t think straight. It would be a very funny scene in a movie but it wasn’t funny now.

I couldn’t call Drew because he was on the air. I couldn’t call Will either. What do I do? I went to the gas station I waited for him originally and stood outside so he could see me. He eventually came that way and I jumped up and down to flag him down. He barely saw me but when he did he smiled and I got in my car and we went to the transmission place to drop off the Honda. We got in the Mitsubishi to go to my place and get the Cougar. Ugh.

Will apologized the whole way but it wasn’t his fault. I wasn’t angry at him or anyone. I was angry at the situation. It was so frustrating not to be able to find Will but it was worse because I had no sleep from last night when the computer crashed and I had to rewrite the script scene until 4:45am. I was all over the place and not in a good mood but I tried to be rational and logical about it all. Will said all this might be a test and he may be right but for what? Who’s testing and what do I get if I pass? Do I get any extra credit for being nice?

On paper this was all a funny scene I guess and Will said so. He’s probably right but I’m not able to see it today. We made it back to my place in the boonies and I still hadn’t taken all my road stuff out of the Cougar like I had planned to so that took a few more minutes.

I did have the title handy so I signed it and wrote a bill of sale and checked the car once more and Will was off to his gig. That was really a great car and I hope his son loves it. As frustrating as today was as it happened years from now all that will be remembered is that time Will flew to Chicago to pick up the car. Like my grandpa liked to say ‘Nobody wants to hear about labor pains, they only want to see the baby.’ Somehow that fits in all of this.

I made it up to Milwaukee and had lunch with Drew after his show. He wasn’t upset for a minute and that was good news. We kicked around some ideas and it was a chance to be able to relax from my hectic morning. Then I went and visited my friend Pat Martin and he found the whole story funny. Then I saw my cousin Brett and he fixed my passenger door.