The KING Of Uranus!

Thursday November 15th, 2007 - Lake Villa, IL

Big BIG day today. It is for me anyway. I heard from the attorney’s office I’m working with that I am officially a legal business entity today. I have the trademark filed and now I can FINALLY write about my idea without worrying about anyone stealing it. It’s a goofy idea and I know that 99.999% of people won’t want to steal it but all I needed was one so I had to protect myself. I have done that and for the first time ever I am now incorporated.

My business idea is to sell funny stuff through a website called ‘Uranus Factory Outlet’. I am now officially ‘The King Of Uranus’ and my slogan is ‘It’s ALWAYS funny when it comes from Uranus.’ I plan to do radio and TV commercials as this character and create a media buzz in towns where I perform so when I go there as a comedian I can be a draw in a comedy club or better yet a bigger theatre setting. This is going to be a huge challenge.

I absolutely love challenges so that’s not a problem. This idea is so stupid I totally think it’s going to work. The time is right for me to reinvent myself and this is what I am going with. I know people will think I’m nuts but a lot of them already do. A lot more think this is a brilliant idea and I have to say I agree. I don’t know why it flew into my head in Utah but it did and now I’m going to run with it. Inspiration comes when it wants to and it’s my job to recognize it and develop it into a workable idea. It’s now a reality in just 8 weeks.

If anyone can pull this off it’s me. I know I’ll make mistakes and have problems but I am expecting it and nothing will make me quit this until I see it succeed. I’ve been trying these kinds of off beat wacked out ideas my whole life and after having every other one blow up in my face I’ve finally found one I think is going to pay off. I am betting the farm on this.

Everyone likes to laugh and this idea has many levels that can be sold to many people. It is a grade school joke that’s just plain silly. Gilligan’s Island was silly too but who doesn’t know about it? It’s the same story every time - they’ll almost get off the island but Gilligan finds a way to screw it up at the last minute. They found a ton of ways to accomplish that.

The same is true with this idea. What products can I come up with that have a Uranus or space theme? I have a bunch I’d like to try but for now I’m going to start with a few items of clothing that have a joke on it and see how that develops. If it gets hot I’ll keep going.

There are a whole lot of things I need to learn. This is all new to me and I know that. I’ll make mistakes but that’s the way to learn. I have a good idea of what I want to do and if I stick to that plan I should be ok. I’m not going to flip out and start buying Bentleys and be an idiot. I’m going to learn this business inside and out and grow slowly but comfortably a step at a time. I’m not putting my month to month rent and expense money into this and it doesn’t have to feed me any time soon. This is something I want to build up from scratch.

One thing I did treat myself to was getting the personalized license plate ‘Uranus 1’. It’s just funny to see it in print. I am going to put all I have into this project and I realize that it will either make me a multi millionaire or wipe me out completely. I can handle either one.

What will put me ahead of everyone else is that I have an inside track on comedians that nobody else knows about. I can have an army of creative talent in one email start writing a batch of jokes that would look good on a t-shirt or bumper sticker. It’s my job to sort it all out and decide what will be made and how it will be made and how much to charge for it.

The space theme is not only hilarious it’s identifiable. EVERYONE I told about this idea all had the same reaction. They giggled like a school kid. Even the ones I thought might be offended or shoot it down had to chuckle and say ‘Well…I think you’ve got something.’

I absolutely KNOW I have something but now my hard work begins. I have all the other groundwork to lay like getting a website up and running, finding someone to make actual products, deciding which products to sell, where and how to advertise, how to get lots of free publicity, storage of inventory, fulfillment of orders etc etc etc. It’s all still very new.

Other people have been where I am and they’ve succeeded. I know I can and will also. I have a stack of books to read and that’s great but nothing beats experience. I have a lot of it in the comedy world and I’ll tap it but I’m very limited in business so I’ll call in favors as much as I can. I rarely do that and have a lot of built up good energy I’ve built for years.

I’ve been reading lots of things lately and one article was with Rick Rubin the producer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Johnny Cash’s last few albums. He said how he doesn’t know the first thing about ‘making a record’. He said he hires people to work in the studio and run the knobs but he oversees it all and has a big picture. The same is with me too. If I never have to make a t-shirt or sticker it doesn’t mean I can’t still make myself a fortune.

Whatever expertise I have to offer the main thing is a deep inside knowledge of standup comedy and what audiences across North America laugh at. I am not going to lose a dime shooting low with this idea. I am going to hit them in their wallet and kick them in Uranus.

Pun intended. This whole thing is one pun after the next. Just like Gilligan’s Island, what’s the way they’re going to do it this week? I have to keep cranking out ideas and I love it.

Getting started today is a total thrill. My grandfather’s birthday was November 18, 1912 and this is about as close to November 18th as I can get so I’ll dedicate it to him. He would have LOVED this idea and I know he’s looking at me from wherever he is and laughing as hard as he can. I am too. This is just FUNNY and I know I’ll find an audience who agrees.

I’d like to have the ‘Grand Opening Of Uranus’ on my birthday. Uranus itself got named on March 13th of whatever year it was and my birthday is March 14th. This whole thing is a perfect fit and a great concept and I’m going to focus my creativity on it so I can make the thing pay off. It’s a marketing challenge but I have to physically sell products that I create. I also want to partner up and drop ship as many items as I can. I know I can make this go.

Now it’s up to me to prove it. I have announced it to everyone and I’m protected by the trademark. I will start working on it now like it’s my first priority because it IS my priority now. I’m now the Sam Walton of whoopee cushions and the Ray Kroc of rubber chickens.