A Gorgeous Gimmick

Saturday October 4th, 2008 - Shelbyville, IL/Skokie, IL

No problems in Shelbyville other than a small audience and a single idiot who wouldn’t shut his mouth the whole time. Of course he was a friend of the sound guy and thought he needed to be a part of the show for some reason. I could have shredded him into mulch if I’d really wanted to but it wasn’t about that. I just wanted to get paid and get out of there.

The owners of the bowling alley are a married couple and they really are nice people. It wasn’t their fault and I didn’t think it was right to make a scene. The gig was what it was and at this point in my life I just needed the money. They paid me right away and I took it gratefully. I feel bad they didn’t draw but that’s not my problem. This gig won’t last long.

The thing that really hurt was as I was standing on a dance floor of a bowling alley with 25 scattered people watching me I could see the big screen TV in the back which was still on with the baseball game playing. Every ten minutes there was a commercial with Frank Caliendo’s TV show being hyped and every time I saw it I was reminded of my lot in life.

I’ve talked about Frank before and I’m actually very happy for him but seeing his spots over and over again as I was trying to shut one lone idiot down told me I hadn’t received the payoff I’d been looking for in my quest for showbiz success. It was a loud reminder.

Luck really does have a part in who ‘makes it’ or not. In a way I’ve ‘made it’ because it isn’t easy to earn a living for over twenty years by telling jokes in bowling alleys and who knows where else. On the other hand, nobody knows who I am and that’s not ‘making it’.

Frank was able to get other people to notice him and he worked his way up the ladder of show business correctly. He found the right people who could keep advancing his level of awareness whether it was radio shows or behind the scenes management. He then became a known entity and eventually got his shot to get known by the public. He’s a celebrity.

Technically I’m in show business but it sure isn’t the same one Frank is in. His business is booming and mine is bumming. I’ve been in it a lot longer too and quite frankly I am a more accomplished comedian but that does not matter. The public knows him and not me and he can make more money in a night than I can in six months right now. That’s a fact.

Being bitter about it won’t change anything and I really am not. All of my dealings with Frank have always been positive and I really do like the guy. He’s very smart and knows a lot more about business than I did and he carved out a wonderful career for himself with a lot of help from a network of powerful people behind him. That was no easy undertaking.

Just because I’ve been at this longer doesn’t guarantee me any kind of similar payoff so to complain of my fate won’t change it. I have to change what I do and who I do it with if I want to see different results. Driving four and a half hours to Shelbyville, IL to do a gig in the bar of a bowling alley across from an auto parts store on one side and a trailer park on the other isn’t what I need to be doing anymore. I’ve done it for FAR too long already.

Coincidentally Frank Caliendo opened for me in a bowling alley back in Waukesha, WI his first time on stage. There were more people that night but not that many more. He had a lot different path than I have since that night. He’s got a TV show and I’m still working bowling alleys. Was it luck? Part of it yes but a big part of it no. This was a wake up call.

Tonight’s gig was completely different but still exactly the same. Jim McHugh booked a show at the Skokie Theatre with his ‘Chicago Comedy All Stars’. Tonight that included him, Mike Preston and myself. There were about the same amount of people as last night but this was in a nice old restored theatre that used to show silent movies back in the day.

Charlie Chaplin apparently filmed a movie nearby and it is a historic landmark but that didn’t help us draw any people. The ones who did come were nice but not huge laughers. They seemed a bit artsy and that’s fine but it wasn’t a very satisfying experience for us.

We did our time and tried to entertain who did show up the best we could. Jim has been doing comedy even longer than me and is an excellent comedian but again he and Preston too have’t been able to figure out the path to get to that top level like Frank Caliendo has.

All of us get along well and we had some laughs before and after the show but all of us know deep down we could use a break of some kind so we can put some butts in seats for shows like this and not have to wonder how we’re going to pay next month’s rent again.

Mike Preston gave me a book after the show that is a biography of the life of Gorgeous George. I’ve always been fascinated with his legend and apparently this is the first book about his life. Mike knew I was interested in wrestling and asked if I wanted to have it.

Of course I wanted to have it. I always love to study trendsetters. Gorgeous George had an influence on countless people in the wrestling business but in other areas too. A young Muhammad Ali blatantly stole his persona and fully admits it. James Brown borrowed his idea to use a valet and wear a cape and he admitted that too. I am fascinated by this story.

I started to page through it a little and can’t wait to read the whole book. George was an average run of the mill journeyman wrestler in his day who made a living but wasn’t a big star until he came up with his now legendary gimmick. That put him way over the top but again luck was also a factor. TV was just coming into the picture and that launched him.

I need to pull off my own gimmick to rescue me from the bowling alleys and make me a player in the entertainment world. I still think the King of Uranus has the potential to do it and I’m sold on it now more than ever. I’m glad I have this book to help me learn how the process works. Maybe I can update and implement a few of George’s ideas. I’d love that.

The main thing I want to do is have FUN with all of this. Being the King of Uranus is a blast just to think about. It makes people giggle to hear it. Now I need to make it a reality. I’m going to read about how Gorgeous George built his legend and hopefully many years from now there will be a book about my own success story. Wait. I think I’m writing it.