One Of A Grind

Wednesday October 8th 2008 - Carleton, MI

Back on the road again and I can’t say I missed it. It looks like I’ve been totally cured of my severe case of wanderlust I’ve had since I was a kid. It used to be I couldn’t wait to go anywhere and everywhere. Now I want to find a place to settle in and live life. Anywhere.

The Chicago area would be fine with me. If I can turn a nice buck there I’ll gladly call it home for as long as I’m around. There is comedy work nearby and I can stay busy with all my other projects and I know a lot of people so that would be ok with me. I love Chicago.

L. A. or Las Vegas would be great too because I like those towns but to tell the truth I’d be willing to settle in almost anywhere if the circumstances were right. I’d love to find my match for me now and enjoy the rest of my life with her. I think the whole soul mate thing is overrated and unrealistic for most if not all of us. I just want someone to be with now.

I’ve got a few I’m interested in but with all the projects I’m working on it’s hard to find time to date. Being on the road doesn’t lend itself to long term relationships and the thrills of one night hunts are long gone. Some guys live for that. Not me. I love to do the shows.

It doesn’t mean I don’t love women though. I absolutely do. I talked to Anna Davlantes from NBC 5 in Chicago on the phone yesterday and on a scale of 1 to 10 she’s a 63. I met her when I was at the Loop and she’s a stunner in every way. She’s not only a world class beauty she’s also extremely intelligent and funny and she lights up a room by walking in.

I know she’s not married and we’ve had lunch a few times. I enjoy her company for all the right reasons. I am not trying to get anything from her and we get along great but I am not even close to being in her league. That shouldn’t stop me though. Plenty of amazingly hot babes end up with total idiots so maybe there’s hope for me yet. Sure. Keep dreaming.

There were all kinds of smoking hot sexy women at the Loop. Susanna Homan did a bit on our show once a week. She writes a society column for the Chicago Sun-Times and is also a red hot stunner. WOW. She looks good, smells good and sounded great on air too.

Our traffic person Tanya Maher was amazing too. Her voice was as sexy as I have ever heard but her looks matched up. Usually hot sounding radio chicks look like they’ve been on the losing end of a mixed martial arts marathon but not Tanya. She was the real deal.

These were all fantasy women I’ll probably never even get to have lunch with again but for a while it was great to work with all of them and interact regularly. It’s true that to get a woman you’ve got to have a woman and when I would be seen with people like these it would get the attention of all the other women in the joint. I miss having that opportunity.

I’ve got a few people I have in the mix currently but none the caliber of Anna or Tanya or Susanna or any number of hotties I was around back then. It’s amazing how women go in and out like the tide and right now the tide is out. I wonder when it will come back in?

I talked to my friend Mike Moran who used to wrestle as ‘The Texas Hangman’ all over the world until recently when he has finally hung up his mask for good. He lives down in Tampa and has a gorgeous girlfriend and is building a nice life for himself. I’m happy for him and he told me getting off the road was the best thing he ever did. He has a life now.

He told me I would be the same way. We’ve both been pounding it hard for over twenty years and have had minimal to medium success but neither of us has hit the big time but it is still no small accomplishment that we’ve been able to make a living for all these years.

Mike said it’s hard enough to have a healthy relationship without always being out for a week or a month or longer and he’s totally right. When I was at the Loop I was living in a single place for a year and had women all around me. When I go on the road they’re gone or at least not as easily accessible as when I’m in one place for a while. I see that now.

I guess I was too stupid to see it on my own but I loved the road life for years and years. I wanted to be out there traveling and seeing new places and conquering new audiences in all four corners of the country and Canada too. I no longer care about that now. I want my stage time but having to drive cross country like a truck driver for it has lost it’s appeal.

If I met a woman on the road I’d be tempted to just move wherever she is and live there. If I can start making steady money in mail order it doesn’t matter where I live. I’d also say yes to a radio gig at this point too. I swore I never would do that again but for a six month minimum I’d love a steady paycheck right now. Times are changing and money is tight.

Tonight’s show was a 422 mile drive from door to door. It was in the back banquet hall of a restaurant in a tiny town even I’d never heard of before called Carleton, MI. I hadn’t been here before even though they’ve been doing comedy three years now. I don’t know how I missed it but I did. Until tonight. There were 65 people in about a 200 seat room.

They were scattered all over the room and I thought it would be a nightmare but it was a total blast. The host was a local DJ who got the crowd up and yelling in a good way. Then he brought up the feature act who was excellent. He did his time and set me up very well.

I didn’t have to work that hard and I ended up going about 55 minutes when all I had to do was 45. They were a great audience and I wanted to give them a hot show but I didn’t want to go too long like some people do. This was exactly the right amount of time to do.

There was also a scorching hot waitress who was about 40ish but was in pristine shape. Her hair was perfect and her body was too and she told me I was hilarious and rubbed up against me while she did it. I gave her a CD and she was thrilled. Maybe I’ll move here.

Nah. I couldn’t live here. Not enough steady comedy work. It would take a lot to make me move out of the Chicago area at this point but then again it wouldn’t. I’m too all over the place and I need to have a deeper and more laid out plan. I’m trying to get one but I do know that being out on the road is not the electric adventure it was. At least not for me.