My Two Cent Vent

Wednesday October 15th, 2008 - Kenosha, WI/Chicago, IL

Is the world really this stupid or am I part of a big long elaborate prank? Will somebody PLEASE yell ‘cut’ and stop this mess? It’s gone on way too long. I feel more out of touch with the public’s pulse now than I’ve ever been - and I’ve always felt like a total outsider.

Does anyone actually think a 72 year old senile coot or a gay porn extra is going to drag us out of the complete meltdown our country is experiencing? I can’t watch those two try to win over the mulleted masses without my gag reflex going off. Out of 300 plus million Americans THESE two dimwits are all we could come up with? I want to move to Cuba.

Sorry, I’m having a bad day. I need to de-stress a little. Everywhere I turn there’s been a problem today and I’m ready to pop a blood vessel somewhere important. I don’t know if I can take this much longer. Is anyone on this filthy marble playing cards with a full deck?

First I had to meet my friend Shelley up in Kenosha to ‘mystery shop’ a meal for lunch. She does that part time and we’ve gone before. Usually the food is decent but today I had all I could do to not take my grub and throw it across the room on my plate like a Frisbee.

Our waitress was a high school chick who only wanted to win some contest by pawning off an appetizer on as many people as she could. She botched both Shelley’s and my order and it wasn’t a big deal but then again it was. I know people are starving and all that but it wasn’t about that today. We were there to see if they were competent and it wasn’t close.

Shelley asked for the manager and he was a flaming homo who lowered himself to talk to her. He had an attitude for whatever reason and I thought he was going to break out in a show tune at any minute. It was obvious he didn’t want to be there and neither did we.

I don’t really care who’s a homo or not but this guy wore it like a feather boa and a pair of Madonna cone tits. Maybe I’m just getting old and I am losing my patience but how’s about this? DO YOUR DAMN JOB! Play Liberace later at the bath house but make sure my steak is cooked the way I asked. That’s why your here. Am I a curmudgeon now?

After a rushed lunch because of brutally slow service I had a dentist appointment back at the old torture chamber. I had what I thought was my final crown put in but now I’ve got two new sprouting cavities apparently and have to get those filled in a couple weeks. What’s wrong with me? Do I have some West Virginia toothless hillbilly DNA in me?

The crown cost $1300 and now my credit card which was clean is now juiced up again. It’s one thing after the next and I’m trying to just get stable so I can work on my projects but that’s a mythical situation. Most of my days are spent pissing out forest fires in life.

One that flared up today was what I wrote yesterday about my friend Max. Apparently it made it’s way down there and was going around the building somehow. Max asked me to take it down and that’s the only reason I did - because he asked. He’s got my total respect.

The other people I wrote about don’t and never will. Radio is full of no talent ass kisser insecure stiffs who couldn’t entertain a monkey with a truckload of bananas. They protect their little domains but when the doors are closed they know they are just stealing money.

Not all people in radio are that way but a large percentage are and I’m not going to back down about what I think. The funny thing is, whenever I rip anyone in this diary I will not mention them by name. I don’t want that. I’m not looking to get personal, I’m just talking about the situation. Whenever I’ve slammed anyone I keep it anonymous. You can check.

For whatever reason those people seem to read it and take it personally. It’s happened a lot. I wrote about a bad date and the woman called and tore me a new one. Another time I talked about a dirty opening act and I got a nasty email from him the next day. Yesterday I went off on the situation Max is in but never once did I use their actual names in all this.

I want only the very best for Max and he has totally earned it. He’s only working in that smelly little hell hole pit of a town because he loves his wife and she’s from there. Max is big market all the way and he deserves more. But right now he needs to have a job there.

Max didn’t say those things about the stupidity of how radio works - I did. I take blame or credit and in this case it was blame. I didn’t mean to cause Max any harm but getting a dose of what he got really made me empathize with him and I wrote about my feelings. It brought back memories of my own dealings with clueless chowder heads from my past.

What would make me happy? That’s a good question. I used to think it would all work out for the best but I have long abandoned that notion. I’m not going to change this world so all I can hope for is to carve out a little corner of it where I can call home and be free.

There is a percentage of the population that does get it and are good people and do have a brain in their head and have a clue. I think it’s a shrinking number but it does exist. I’ve met many of them on my life’s journey and Max is totally one of them. There are a lot of comedians on that list too. Those are the people I want to share my life with all the time.

Max and I would make a GREAT radio team in a big market. Will we ever get a chance to prove it? I don’t know at this point. We shouldn’t have gotten fired from the Loop back when we did but we did. Max went to Springfield and on more than one occasion I was in there talking about maybe working there. Thankfully I didn’t. This would be trouble now.

I wish only good for Max and all the other good people of the world. The rest of them I couldn’t care less about and I wish there would be an I.Q. test every year and the ones that flunk get chopped up into fertilizer. I know that might sound harsh to some but not to all.

All I want is a little fairness in the world. Kindness wouldn’t hurt either. I really try that way of life myself but nobody sees when I do good deeds, they only read my blog rantings second hand and pass it on to others. Hey, at least I’m entertaining people I don’t know.