Saturday June 11th, 2011 - Ann Arbor, MI Just when I thought I’d hit my stride for the weekend, along comes an unexpected glitch to make it a big time challenge. Normally I love a challenge, but not like this. My voice is shot and I can barely speak, THE very worst obstacle any public speaker has to overcome. Over all the years I’ve done comedy, it’s been thankfully rare to have to deal with voice issues other than an occasional cold or flu bug which does affect the show. Comedy is not easy when everything is functioning correctly. When the voice goes out, it’s a nightmare. That’s what happened tonight, and it was totally frustrating. I had noticed a bit of a sore throat in the past couple of nights, but I didn’t think anything of it. It didn’t distract me on stage in any way, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. I didn’t even buy any throat lozenges. In a perfect world, I love to nap before a show. Even if it’s only fifteen minutes to a half hour, it clears my head and I feel extra sharp before going on stage. I drank a lot of liquids all day, trying to moisten my throat. I got my nap in close to show time so I thought I’d be ok. Wrong. I woke up and it felt like I’d swallowed an SOS pad. I knew I was in trouble. I’m not a doctor, and I have no idea what it is. I do know that I’ve never had my tonsils out, and years ago I was told they’d swell up every few years and make my life miserable for a few days. That one has come true, and they have. This feels much worse though. It’s excruciating to swallow, and if it is my tonsils they’ve swollen to the size of ravioli pies. I’ve been coughing a lot too, and that’s worse. It’s raw and hoarse and when I feel a fit of it coming on I know it will be several minutes before it’s over. That makes everything worse, and it’s a big time energy drain. If it’s a common cold, it sure doesn’t feel like it. I did have a pretty severe case of pneumonia when I was about three years old, and I can vaguely remember being in the hospital for a couple of weeks. My grandparents told me it was pretty serious, and the doctors said I’d be susceptible to catching it again through my entire life, whatever that meant. I’ve never caught it again, and I haven’t worried about it. Does one ‘catch’ pneumonia? I have no idea. My grandmother used to be deathly afraid of toilet seats and doorknobs, and was constantly washing them at her home several times a day. Then, one time she somehow got ringworm and I thought it was funny because she was the one who was so worried about catching something all the time. I never think of it. I shake people’s hands after shows all the time. So what? I’m not a germophobe, but my life doesn’t revolve around washing my hands obsessively either. Maybe I caught a bug or someone sneezed in my direction or who knows what? All I know is it affected my show. Actually, it affected both shows. By the end of the late show I could barely speak, and it was physically painful to get any words out at all. That’s a big red flag, but thankfully it’s the end of this run of shows. Tomorrow night is the radio show. I hope I feel better then.
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