Train Training

Monday January 7th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

New year, new experiences. I was born in Milwaukee but the Chicago area has been my home for over twenty years. I remember being about six and riding through Chicago with my grandparents and knowing then that I wanted to live here. I loved the vibe and the tall buildings and something in me just clicked even at that early age. I have no idea why but I just knew it. My grandmother thought I was possessed by an evil spirit when I told her.

She hated Chicago. HATED it. Many Wisconsin people do. Not me. I loved it then and I still do today. The only things that irk me about Chicago are toll roads and the Bears. If those are the only two things that irritate me then I’m ok. I can avoid all the toll roads and I’m still a Packer fan. Other than that I have always felt at home being based out of here.

That’s why I am surprised it took until today to ride on a METRA train. As long as I’ve lived here the wonderful train system and I have never bonded. When I was a kid I learned the Milwaukee bus system backward and forward and knew how to get around town and I bet I still could. I even knew most of the numbers of the bus routes. But then I got a car.

A car was symbolic of freedom for me and I fell deeply in love with the concept. I might have traded cars through the years and I’m well over 100 in the number of vehicles I have owned at one time or another but I still made it a point to have a car and not take a train. I moved to Chicago with a car and never bothered to learn the system here. I didn’t need to.

Now I feel that I need to. Living in Lake Villa is a huge pain. I don’t like it and I’ll move eventually but for now it’s convenient so I need to adapt and deal with it for a while. It’s a long way from downtown Chicago but there is a train station three blocks from where I’m living and that’s one of the things that sealed the deal of me moving here. Today I used it.

I need to be at WLS on Monday mornings at 10:30 to do Jerry Agar’s radio show. It’s a lot of fun to be on the show with other comedians doing a weekly news round up but it’s a huge hassle getting to the station. Parking is a nightmare and it costs $28 to park in the lot around the block and I’m not thrilled with that. Would I pay $28 to get on WLS to get my name mentioned for 20 minutes every week? Well, yes. But I don‘t have to so why do it?

A train ticket is $6 one way. I can walk to the station from my house and that’s good for some exercise and I also don’t have to fight traffic and use my gas so that’s good too. I’ve been meaning to take the train into the city since I moved out here and today was the day.

I looked up the schedule and the latest one I could take left at 6:55 and dropped me off at Union Station downtown at 8:30. I don’t need to be at the station until 10:15 but that’s ok. I don’t mind being early. It gives me time to grab some breakfast and a newspaper.

The train came and I got on and had no idea what to do. I felt like a total ass asking the conductor what the procedure was but he was very nice and asked me where I was going. I told him and he sold me a ticket for $6 and that was it. I sat back to soak up the sights.

I remember having this same feeling the first time I took a Greyhound bus. I was maybe 19 and wanted to leave Milwaukee any way I could. I quit my nowhere job as a cook right in the middle of my shift and went to the Greyhound station and bought a ticket to Dallas. I don’t know why I picked Dallas but at the time it seemed warm and wasn’t Milwaukee.

I had no idea what to do then either but I bought my ticket and got on the bus and had a feeling of apprehension mixed with adventure that was actually kind of cool. I knew I was going to survive but wasn’t exactly sure how but I looked around at everyone on that bus and thought if they could do it I certainly could. Greyhound is great for the self esteem.

I had the same feeling today. I knew I wasn’t going to die and I had cash to pay for the ticket so how bad could it be? I’d look like an ass for a few seconds and not know what to do and then I’d ask and someone would tell me and that would be it. No big deal. Would I be able to handle that? Sure. But still there is a degree of uneasiness in a new experience.

Watching the people get on the train was a learning experience. Most of them looked so sad and out of it I wanted to do my act to try and cheer them up. This was the train to the rat race and by the looks on the faces I saw the rats were winning the race. I watched as it filled up and felt a whole lot better about the life decisions I made in the last twenty years.

At least I’ve had some adventure in my life. I cheered right up after seeing everyone else trudge through their daily grind and when we got to Union Station I felt like a big winner. I walked to the station and that was fun too. I love downtown Chicago and it was a brisk walk on an unseasonably warm day in January and I felt like I accomplished a new task.

The radio show went well and hopefully this will be a weekly tradition. We got to meet the General Manager of the station and he was very complimentary of the bit and I think it will at least be given a chance. That’s all I ask and in the past I’ve never gotten it in radio. There’s no pressure on me at all here. I’m just doing this for fun and to hang with friends.

My return train leaves at 1pm and gets me back at 2:30 so that’s a full day. I got back to Lake Villa and walked home to check emails and shower and then I needed to be at Zanies in Chicago to host a new talent showcase at 8:30. If I could take a train there too I would but they don’t run late at night so I have to drive. I left early so I would get there on time.

The show tonight was one of if not the best showcase we’ve ever had. The audience was wonderful and the place was packed. It’s hard to predict Mondays but this one was a gem. The comedians were all very good too. It was just one of those nights that clicked and all I had to do was drive the bus. If there’s one thing I know how to do it’s host a live show.

I’ve got a lot more shows to host this year and I’m thrilled to be able to do it. I really do enjoy it especially when it’s like this. I can get the crowd up and I give the comedians their own special introduction and put a little showbiz into it and it’s fun. This makes getting up at 5:30 to catch a train downtown and back and then driving into the city all worth it. This will probably be my Monday schedule for the next little while so I better learn to enjoy it.