Bad Audiences Do Exist

Monday June 28th, 2010 - Chicago, IL

On occasion, every single live performer who ever steps on a stage has to face a horrific audience. It’s part of the game. Eventually the odds dictate that the majority of people in a particular gathering just aren’t going to be a good match. It happens to everyone on every level, even though it usually gets farther apart the longer someone has been performing.

Sometimes the reason for a bad show is the fault of the performer. I’ve had awful shows in front of decent enough audiences over the years, and it was usually my fault. Part of the reason may have been legitimate, like I was tired from traveling or maybe even physically ill with a cold or the flu. Other times, I was just off. My head wasn’t in the same room.

Then there are the times when the full blame falls on the audience. They’re just a bunch of flaming imbeciles, and no matter who’s in front of them they’re not going to be able to break through the brick wall of group stupidity. It’s a bad mix, and that’s that. It’s over.

That’s what happened tonight at Zanies in Chicago. There was no Rising Star Showcase show as per usual because of 4th of July week, one of the slowest of the year. Clubs across the country either close for this week or piece together a low budget show with local acts.

Zanies’ headliner this week is a very funny guy named Tim Clue. Tim is not only funny on a comedy stage, he’s also a brilliant writer, actor and director. He’s a very experienced entertainer, and he knows his way around audiences. He’s my age and has been doing this probably as long as I have. That being said, we both agreed that this audience was a dud.

The format of the show tonight was that I was to open the show with 15-20 minutes and then bring up Tim, who would do about 40 minutes. Then, I’d come back and close it out with 20-30 minutes, depending on how they were. Tim and I are both veterans, and didn’t really care what the format was. We’re both able to handle just about anything by now.

I could tell they were a bad audience in the first five minutes. There’s just a certain vibe that’s in the room, and it was there tonight. I had to work way harder than usual to get any kind of laughs, and when I did there was never a roll. They judged each joke like a jury.

Tim went up and did exactly 40 minutes. He was funny, professional, but hated them as much as I did. He did a fabulous job under the circumstances, and came off stage without letting them know he wasn’t enjoying himself. Only he and I knew how difficult that was, but that’s part of being a professional. Sometimes it’s like this, and it needs to be handled.

Then I had to go back up and close out the show. It wasn’t fun, but I wish I would have taped it so newbies could see how to handle a bad crowd. There was a group of four loud Canadians of all things right up front, and they talked through the entire show. The whole room was out of towners, and keeping them in focus on anything was a chore. We earned our pay tonight, but after the show we weren’t complaining. We were both glad to get the work, especially on 4th of July week. This was a small glitch, but it’s over. On to big stuff.