Freeport Fever

Saturday June 19th, 2010 - Freeport, IL

Sometimes it all just works out. When that happens, nothing else matters. Problems and everything else seem far away. Time stands still. When it clicks on stage, there’s a feeling of ecstasy that I’ve never been able to match with anything else. I totally felt that tonight.

This was the last place I ever thought I’d feel it. I was booked in Freeport, IL to work at some sleazy roadhouse looking joint that was between ownership and didn’t even have a name. I don’t think I’d ever experienced that before. It was set off the road on the edge of ‘town’, whatever that was. Actually, I never saw any town. I’m lucky I was able to find it.

The paint was peeling on the building and there was an unpaved parking area that had a mixture of mud, stones and weeds that made me immediately think about turning the car around and going home. It looked like the stereotypical hell gig scenario. I‘ve done many.

Still, the lot was jammed full of cars and I had to drive around to the back of it to find a parking place in some tall weeds. I drove out with the opening act Dan Morris, and had to drop him off at the door because we were running late. Showtime was scheduled for 8:00 and this was one of the very few venues I’ve ever seen that made a point to start on time.

Usually the itinerary isn’t even close to the actual starting time, but tonight it apparently was a priority to be punctual. I had been on the phone with the owner the whole way there and we fought construction and detours the whole way. We ended up arriving at 8:20, but the last hour was very stressful trying to see if we could get there on time. What a hassle.

I suppose I could have left earlier, but the booker asked if I wouldn’t mind skipping the hotel to save the club owner a few bucks and I said yes. I didn’t find it necessary to spend extra time in Freeport, IL if I didn’t have to. No offense to anyone, I was there to get paid.

The club owner was a very nice lady named Christy who was also working as a waitress running trays full of drinks out to the customers. The show area was packed full of a mix of age groups, but none of them looked like hicks or bumpkins. It wasn’t what I expected.

The opening act Dan Morris did his time, and it was just ok. He’s a nice kid and starting out and doesn’t have experience with this kind of situation yet. He did a trooper’s job just making sure his time was covered. I’ve been there and know just how difficult it can be.

They took a ten minute break before me, which is always a red flag, but I decided not to bitch about it. It wasn’t Caesars Palace and I know Christy needed to sell drinks to pay us so I didn’t want to stop that process. I sat and patiently waited for them to all file back in.

Christy kept trying to prod me and said things like “Geez, I hope you’re funny. I’ve got a full house here and it sure would be great if they liked you.” I faked worry and said “I’m hoping I’m funny too. Am I supposed to have this stuff memorized? I’m feeling a little bit rusty. Maybe I could write it on my hands or something.” She didn’t find that funny at all.

I guess I can’t blame her. There was a full house in there and it was Saturday night and Freeport was hopping. This was her chance to make a buck, and I don’t fault anybody for doing that, especially when hard work is involved. It’s hard to get people in the door but she did, and however she did it I’m sure wasn’t easy. I’d probably be a little worried too.

There was a good feeling in the room the whole night, even if it wasn’t the best venue. I could feel the people’s energy as I sat in the back of the room, and that comes from years of feeling energy from all kinds of audiences. Sometimes it’s a match, and tonight was it.

I knew exactly what to do from the first five seconds. No offense to Dan, but he just did his act. Granted, that’s what he was hired to do but that’s not what an audience like this is looking for. Most of them have never seen comedy before and don’t know what to expect.

In situations like this, it’s a good idea to comment on something about the room so as to bond with them right away. It doesn’t take much, but it’s very effective. A few jabs at the shabby paneling or Christmas lights up in June did it, and I had them from the beginning.

Then there was a lady in the front row, probably in her 50s, who was talking to the lady sitting next to her. Instead of scolding her, I leaned down and told her I could hear her and warned her not to tell any dirty jokes or I’d tell her pastor. I know it’s corny, but that’s the way to train them to listen without flipping out. It’s not their fault, they’re new to all this.

I also knew I had to ‘work big’ because there was inferior stage lighting. I slowed down as much as I could and used a lot of gestures and acted out my punch lines way more than I usually do, but that’s what was called for tonight. It worked great, and I knew it would.

Also, throwing in local references was a huge hit. It usually is in situations like this and I did it as much as humanly possible. The town of Monroe, WI is just over the border and maybe five miles away, and the name of their high school teams are the ‘Cheese Makers’.

Come on, how hard is that to make fun of? People from both states were in attendance, and that’s another easy angle to exploit. I was more of a summer camp counselor than an actual standup comedian, but that’s what they wanted. I gave it to them and they loved it.

I did about an hour an ten minutes, and I had a bunch of material left over afterwards. It wasn’t about that tonight. It was about being an entertainer. Big difference. I used any and all tricks I knew to keep the energy going, and it worked perfectly. I‘ve learned my craft.

What made this show so fun was that I had to be in the moment the entire time I was up there. I didn’t know what I’d need to do next, and that focused my attention like a laser so I’d always have to be thinking two or three moves ahead. It was like a mental chess game.

That’s a huge challenge and I love it, especially when it goes like it did tonight. No, it’s not the kind of joint I want to do regularly anymore, but it was a payday in the summer to entertain some very nice people who enjoyed every minute of it. I enjoyed them in return..