Last Comic Bitching

Tuesday June 8th, 2010 - Chicago, IL

Last Comic Standing is rearing its ugly head again, and I have mixed feelings about it. I never understood why standup comedy can’t be the ultimate reward for anyone. It’s like a connecting flight in show business. It’s never the final destination, only a plane change.

Even in the boom years of the 80s, it always seemed like the goal was to get on TV so a sitcom could be developed ”based on the standup comedy of…” I never wanted that. My goal was always to be a great standup, and have people come to see me because of that.

Was that stupid? Not necessarily, but it sure wasn’t business smart. The real money is in products like TV shows and movies, and I guess I didn’t see that big picture like a whole lot of others did. I was very content being a comedian, and I still am. But it’s not enough.

I’m sick of people telling me “YOU should be on Last Comic Standing”. I’ve heard that since the show started, whenever it started. I’ve never watched it, and have no desire to in the near future either. I suppose I probably should, but I’m just not interested. From what I’ve always heard, the ‘drama’ is what sells it. I’ve had enough drama for six lifetimes.

Drama is the last thing I’m looking for. If I were on that show I’d either win it by a huge margin or get six bullets to the head in the first episode. I’m very opinionated, and just do NOT suffer idiots very well. It’s cost me a lot over my lifetime, and I’m not a good faker.

I’m just now starting to learn how to deal with all that, and I sure shot myself in the foot and many other places along the way. I’ve had a few friends appear on the show and I like the fact that it gives comedians exposure, but even if I did go on the show I’d still want to be a comedian afterward. I’m not interested in becoming an actor. I like standup comedy.

One former student I’m extremely proud of these days is Tom Clark. Tom was in one of my very first classes I taught at Cardinal Stritch College in Milwaukee in about 1994 and I could see immediately that he had a special spark. He did, but it was a lot more than that because he stayed with it and developed his talent and played the offstage game well too.

That’s where I really blew it over the years, and I admit it. There was nobody to tell me how to do it properly, like I’m able to tell my students now. I don’t claim anything about Tom’s success other than he took a class I taught when he started. If he didn’t take a class he would have started anyway, and he would have been successful anyway. He’s a talent.

I’ve stayed in contact with Tom over the years, but haven’t seen him in a while. I have a lot of things going on as does he, but every time I see him I tell him what a great way he’s played the hand he was dealt, and beg him to let me drive his limo when he hits it big.

This could be my big chance. When he gets his sitcom, I hope he remembers me at all. I have nothing but respect for Tom Clark, and he deserves all the success he gets. I was too busy making my own mistakes, but those are what I‘ve used to educate all my students.