Thrown A Bone

Sunday July 8^th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I can’t stop thinking about how fun it was to be part of Zanies in Rosemont this weekend. What a pleasure it was on so many levels, but now it’s over. I’m sure I’ll be back there at some point in some capacity, but I won’t count on a lot of work. Every comedian in America will be begging to work that room, and I’m just one of a long line of countless others who can do the job on stage.

   I’m not kidding myself. I got this week because I’m one of Zanies favorites, not because I have any power or clout and I especially don’t have any drawing power. Bert Haas graciously tossed a bone my way, and I couldn’t be more grateful. But he could have tossed it to anyone he wanted.

   That’s the problem every comic in the business faces. It’s a numbers game. There are unlimited people wanting a limited number of bones, and the throwers of those bones all have an individual method of how they distribute them. It’s our job as performers to figure out how everyone does it and get as many bones as we can. It becomes a maddening pursuit, and it’s a never ending game.

   Zanies has been a source of bones for me for decades. For whatever reason, we’ve developed a mutually beneficial relationship and it continues to this day. Anybody would have loved to work in Rosemont this weekend, but I was one of only three lucky dogs in town to be thrown a bone.

   Comedians need to find a new bone thrower every week, and that’s where I’m having a bit of a struggle of late. Nobody said the bone throwers were fair and quite often ability alone is not why a particular bone is thrown to a particular person. There are all kinds of added factors involved.

   One of them is familiarity. Bert Haas knew Larry Reeb, Pat McGann and myself very well. He knew our acts, and he knew us as people and knew we’d all be reliable and not pains in the ass to deal with offstage. It took years for all of us to develop that relationship with Bert, but it’s there.

   Another big one is likeability. Bert happens to like us all, and there’s no doubt that was part of the reason we were the ones chosen for the opening week. I’m sure he likes other comics too, but we were the ones that got chosen and likeability is always part of the process even if it’s implied.

   My problem is I don’t have enough bookers like Bert who think of me first. Most of them who have heard of me know I can do the job on stage, but so can hundreds of others. I have to hope a bone gets thrown my way, but I have no advantage over anyone else as to whether I’ll ever get it.

   Then there are those who just don’t like me personally. Again, it has nothing to do with what I can or can’t do on stage and that’s what’s so frustrating. They have their supply of bones, and I’ll never get one as long as they’re in charge. They don’t need me, and that’s a sledgehammer to the back of the skull. They’re in charge, and they know it. I can go around some of them, but not all.

   It’s becoming a buyer’s market more and more, and the only way I can get past it is find a way to become a draw. That’s been a total mystery for as long as I’ve been at this, which has been too long to still be hoping for stray bones. I’m grateful for all of them, but I could use some stability.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary