Persistence Insistence

Monday June 6th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   One of the toughest parts of being in business for one’s self is that it’s very easy to keep making the exact same mistakes over and over again. It can be a frustrating waste of time, and even if things do start going well it’s always a chore looking after one’s weak points.

   Self employment is no easy undertaking, and I totally respect anyone who is able to pull it off successfully. There are all kinds of hats that need to be worn at various times, and it takes years to get into any kind of a groove and know what needs to be done and when.

    Personal strengths and weaknesses play a major part in determining anyone’s successes or failures, and nobody is good at everything. It’s a kick in the ego to have to admit one is not good at something, but it’s also smart business. That’s the only way to get any better.

   As a comedian, it’s difficult enough to develop an act that consistently gets booked and makes a steady living. I’ve managed to stay consistently booked for twenty-five years, but I made a butt load of mistakes during that time. I wish I could have half of them back, but I can’t. It’s a painful process, and hurts even more when there’s nobody available to ask.

   That’s why I’m so passionate about teaching classes. I know how difficult this business really is, and I want to help others avoid the stupid mistakes I made and continue to make. It’s difficult enough to focus on the onstage part of comedy, but offstage minutia is really where it can go wrong. Most of that comes from ignorance too. There needs to be a plan.

   Putting it all together is very tricky. Mistakes tend to delay the process, but it’s also the way to get an education. In the big picture, there’s always a next step to be made, and it’s always a matter of timing. Very few if any I’ve ever seen always get the timing right. It’s a crapshoot, and needs to be thought out in advance in order to reap the most benefits.

   Sometimes all of this makes my head spin. It’s like going through a maze. It’s easy for someone to look back and see where the problem spots were, but as it’s all happening it’s a very different perspective. The farther along in the process, the more crucial each move.

   My biggest source of frustration is my constant lack of focus. I’ve got so many ideas for projects, and I must say I still think most of them are good ones. My problem is I have the affliction known as “alligator mouth with a hummingbird ass”. I talk a good game, but the follow through is weak. I can’t do everything myself, nobody can. In turn, time is wasted.

   I thought I had a plan in place with people helping me, but that’s totally fallen apart and I feel like I’m starting all over again. In a way I am, but that’s how to get things done. If a plan falls apart, another one has to be made. I’m way past ‘Plan B’ by now. I lost count.

   The most difficult thing of all is to not lose hope. I am not making nearly the progress I thought I’d be making, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Back to the lab and make a new plan and get going on that. Persistence is the key, and if I don’t try again it’ll all be over.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

An Imperfect World

Sunday June 5th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI

   Even though it was fun hanging out with friendly people this weekend doing shows and all that, deep down I know it’s not even close to what I envision myself doing in a perfect world. I’d be doing many of the same things I’m doing now, but on a much higher scale.

  My question is, does ANYONE living on this planet have that ’perfect world’ scenario? If so, how many? And more so, if someone happens to attain it does that person know it? I don’t think it’s money and fame alone that makes for a contented soul, but it does help.

  Is Donald Trump happy? I have no way of determining that. How about WWE’s Vince McMahon? They’re both rich, but are they satisfied in life? Probably not, as that drive is what keeps them pushing forward. At some point, shouldn’t there be time to enjoy it all?

  We humans are very delicate critters, and if one little thing goes wrong it can affect our entire lives in a most devastating way. I’m not asking for or expecting a problem free life, I just want one I can be proud of and have quality time to enjoy as I slide into old age.

   I bet most people don’t even take time to picture what their ultimate life would be. I ask all the time on stage if people are picturing exactly what they’d do with the lottery prize if they won it, and an overwhelming percentage stare at me like I’m speaking in Portuguese.

   I do jokes about what I’d do if I won the lottery, but I’d love to play that concept further and focus on it in real life. Would I have money? Yes, but I’d hope I wouldn’t be a greedy bastard and let that be my obsession. I’m old enough now where not all that big of a hunk would keep me going strong the rest of my life. I want to be free to chase creative goals.

     I want to be working the top comedy rooms for packed audiences with people who are there to see me, not just some random goof they never heard of. I want to make top dollar so I can be secure enough to have enough, but also be able to give to those who need it.

   I still want to have a family and a home that is healthy and functioning and full of love. I want to create things that have never been created before, and surround myself with a lot of other creative types to form a world class group of people who get along and have fun.

   Fun should be one of the top reasons to get out of bed every morning, along with being able to give to others. Life is about fun and giving, not worrying and lack. I haven’t been in the mindset I’ve needed to be in lately, as I’ve been having to focus on making a living. How can I be the King of Uranus doing creative projects when I’m struggling with bills?

   The Mothership Connection radio show is another thing that needs direction. We really do have fun doing it, but there needs to be more structure and more effort put in to getting ways to make the project financially successful. Tonight’s show wasn’t a killer, but it was still fun. With just a little more effort, I think my whole life can be what I’ve pictured it to be for so many years. Why am I not spending all my energy trying to be the best there is?

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Paying Some Bills

Saturday June 4th, 2011 - Burlington, IA

   Entertainers on every level are having to get much more entrepreneurial these days, but it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just is. Times are getting snug, and everyone has to find new ways to turn a buck. Many traditional sources of income have been dwindling lately.

   This weekend I went on an experimental excursion with fellow comedian Tim Walkoe, where we tried out two seperate potential sources of future income. Last night we worked in a country club in Springfield, IL and tonight we were at a blues club in Burlington, IA.

   People can mock those venues all they want - and they do, but those are the only places left where comedy hasn’t been seen, or at least not as overexposed and bastardized as has been done most other places. It’s like eating crab legs, there’s plenty of good meat located in the knuckle but it takes extra work to get to it. We have to decide whether it’s worth it.

   This weekend was Tim’s, and he chose me to tag along to make it an extra strong show. If you’ve never seen Tim’s show, he and I both yack at about 75 miles an hour with gusts up to 150 and we pack more into one 90 minute show than most symphony orchestras put into a concert. One thing nobody had to worry about is getting cheated out of material.

   Our mutual booking agent friend Marc Schultz has been trying to find a way to package us together as a show for a while now, as he sees the potential as well. We can absolutely destroy a room if they’re buying us, and we’ve both got enough stage experience where it takes place way more often than it doesn’t. This weekend was a chance to have a test run.

   Friday’s country club show was fun, but those audiences can tend to be a bit persnickety at times. These particular people were really receptive to us, even though we still both felt we had to hold back a little because they were conservative. We did our time, it went fine.

   I’d have to estimate 95% or higher of this audience had NEVER darkened the door of a comedy club in their lives. Springfield has had several clubs in the past, and I believe they still may, but I couldn’t picture any of these people being regulars and that’s not an insult to anyone. It’s fact. No comedian is going to please everyone, but we please these people.

   There have to be all kinds of country clubs located all over the Midwest that might book acts like Tim and myself, but it would take a lot of work to find them. I’m not interested a bit in doing that right now, but if someone else is I’ll gladly show up and do the shows.

   Tonight was completely different, but still fun. A mutual comedian friend of ours Steve Moris knows the owners of this building, and they wanted to try comedy. Steve did it first and then brought Tim in for the second show. Now, Tim is bringing me in for the third.

   Hopefully there will be a fourth, and hopefully I can bring someone like a Larry Reeb or Rocky LaPorte  or Jimmy McHugh, all solid acts. The audience was attentive, and full of people who wouldn’t be comedy club regulars. There are people like this in every town.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Twenty Years Ago Today

Friday June 3rd, 2011 - Springfield, IL

   Twenty years ago today, I officially had my name changed to Dobie J. Maxwell. Doing that smack dab in the middle of one’s life is neither easy or convenient, but I had several reasons I felt made it necessary so I did it anyway. Looking back, I did the right thing.

   I’ve never hidden the fact that I changed my name, all kinds of people in entertainment use a stage name. Does anyone think Hulk Hogan was a given birth name? I can’t picture an eight year old kid at camp with ‘Hulk H.’ written in magic marker in his underwear.

   In my realm of experience, I’ve been around standup comedy, radio and pro wrestling - all three of which have a high rate of name changes on a professional level. It would take a while to think of someone who actually uses their given name exactly how it appears on their birth certificate. It’s no big deal to use a stage name, but a real change is a hassle.

   I remember having to advertise in a publication to which bill collectors would subscribe so as the name change wouldn’t be to avoid prosecution. I also remember having to get an application and fill it out along with $200 as I recall. I had an actual court date and had to explain to the judge why I was changing my name. It was all over in three minutes tops.

   I vividly remember the judge asking me “Let me get this straight - you’re changing your name to DOBIE?” I told him I was, and he rolled his eyes and said “Okay” with a tone of mockery and disbelief in his voice. He slammed the gavel and I was Dobie J. Maxwell.

   I was informed I’d have to stick with that name for at least an entire calendar year, then  I’d be free to change it again after that if I so chose. I wasn’t aware of that, and maybe the judge was trying to give me an out in case I regretted my decision. It would be a lot like a tattoo artist doing an erasable skull with a snake coming out of the eye just to be prudent.

   Prudent or not, I wanted a name that had no strings attached so I could get by in life on my own merits. Sink or swim, I wanted to do it on my own - and I have. My birth name is no secret, but I don’t tell anyone who hasn’t known me for over twenty years what it was.

   That name never fit me anyway. Dobie became a nickname that stuck, and now it’s the name everyone knows. I can call a booking agent and everyone knows who it is. My birth name wasn’t even our given name. My grandfather changed it because my grandmother’s step father had all girls and wanted to carry on the family name. Even I still get confused.

   The funny thing is, I had a numerologist do a reading one time and I gave both my birth name and my name now, and they both have the exact same number. That floored me, but the numerologist said it was a very common occurrence. It’s an energy thing apparently.

   Whatever the case, Dobie J. Maxwell has been struggling through life for twenty years now. It doesn’t really matter what I choose to call myself anymore, I am who I am. There are those who like me and those that don’t. The name doesn’t have much to do with it.

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A Cavalier Attitude

Thursday June 2nd, 2011 - Joliet, IL

   I’m finally starting to make my way up the pecking order on this cruel and unusual little planet. Miracle of miracles, I can proudly say I now own a car that was built in the decade in which I live. Well, sort of anyway. It’s under ten years old, and for me that’s a big deal.

   Look out, Leno. Stand back, Seinfeld. You’re not the only two comedians who have the market cornered on automotive extravagance. I’ll let you and everyone else know that I’m now cruising the highways and byways of America in a 2004 Chevy Cavalier. So there.

   Sure, it’s got a rebuilt title. Yes, I got it from a friend who’s a car dealer who originally got it for his sister who didn’t like it, but it’s got both a cassette AND a CD player so I’m now at an elite level of luxurious excess few others in my family tree have ever attained.

   Who am I kidding? What a loser I am, but it still feels good to land a reliable little alley cruiser at a thrifty price. I’ll take care of it like it’s the Batmobile, and hope it lasts longer than most of my other tin cans I fish out of the car auction like stray dogs out of a shelter.

   My friend Tom Orlando did me a big time favor and let me have this car for exactly the amount he has in it. I’ve known Tom since seventh grade and I believed him, but he still felt compelled to show me the receipts anyway. His sister was looking for a new vehicle, but she was used to driving a minivan apparently and that’s what she wanted in the end.

   Good news for me. Tom deals in leasing trucks and didn’t have a need for a little four door sedan so he offered it to me just to move it down the road. He wouldn’t buy a hunk o’ poo for his sister, and I knew he’d done his homework on this car so I had to buy it.

   It’s smart business in the long run. I wasn’t planning to spend any cash right now, and times are pretty tight and looking tighter for the summer. Still, even though this one cost more than most of my auction rats, it’ll be worth it in the long run. It should last a while.

   I’m not used to getting behind the wheel of a car and seeing under 100,000 miles on it, so that alone was refreshing. It’s got 93,573, for now. In my former road warrior days I’d have made it to 100K in about three weeks. Now, I’m hoping to lay low and stay local.

   I want to focus on working a lot more in my self designated ‘Squared circle of Uranus’ which includes Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison and Rockford and a 2004 Cavalier is way more efficient than a 1983 Cadillac Fleetwood, even though that Caddy is a smooth ride.
My standards are low, and I really enjoyed that car. I’ll enjoy this one too. I’m grateful.

   Tom did me a huge favor, and I totally appreciate it. He also cooked us up some killer steaks and told some hilarious stories of his days in radio, of which he’s a big time talent as well. He smartly got out of it, as he saw how ugly it is. He’s got talent in business too, so he made the right choice. Good for him. Friends like him are rare, and I couldn’t have more respect for the guy. He’s a winner. I’m a dung beetle trying to scrape out a living.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Cubs, Cars And Kidders

Wednesday June 1st, 2011 - Chicago, IL/Waukegan, IL

   In an unexpected pleasant surprise, I was asked to join a friend in going to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field today as a ‘mystery shopper’. I didn’t know Major League Baseball used mystery shoppers, but I got to tag along so I’m not complaining. I won’t divulge anything about the mystery person I went with, only because I’m not sure what the exact rules are.

   Actually, I think it’s very smart of the Cubs to hire people to do this. Any sports team is a business, and fans are customers. They have choices, and in this day and age I’d have to bet nobody can afford to lose customers - not even sports teams. It’s a sign of the times.

   I took the train into the city, and it brought back fun memories of doing Jerry’s Kidders on WLS back when we did. That was a few years ago now, and I highly doubt that people remember it but we all sure do. That was probably THE most fun I’ve ever had on radio.

   We were on a big station every week and it was a blast to be on the air busting the balls of the other comedians, and then going out to lunch afterward and doing it more. It was as fun as it gets, and Tim Slale and Ken Severa and I would love to be able to do it again on the air, but where? Jerry Agar is now in Toronto making a living, and we’re all still here.

   Unfortunately, I think Jerry’s Kidders is just a memory at this point, but a very pleasant one for all of us who were part of it. Too bad life moves on, and always does. How many people used to be on radio or RV or in movies at one time, but now take a train into a big city once in a while to watch a baseball game and not one single person recognizes them?

   I didn’t expect to be recognized, but I did expect to be entertained. Wow, the Cubs are a disaster this year. There was NO fire from that team, and they ended up losing to the low rent Houston Astros of all people. Nice park or not, that team has to make some changes.

   I really thought about my own life as I watched the game today. The Cubs need to have a major reinvention and have new life breathed into that whole organization. They have a new owner, but that hasn’t been enough. They’re in trouble if they don’t shake things up a little, but what can they do? They have a lot of pre-existing situations they’ll need to fix.

   I feel like I’m the same way. I’ve got all these things rolling around in my head, but my life is a mess right now and not really going anywhere with a vengeance or purpose. I am extremely dissatisfied with that, and desperately want to change my energy immediately.

   I got home from the game in time to peruse the Waukegan Auto Auction and ended up buying a 1998 Ford Contour of all things. It’s extremely clean, but appears to overheat in traffic. It came with a seller’s guarantee which gives me a day to have it checked out first.

   I love the Cadillac, but it’s big and blue and stodgy - much like the Cubs. If I keep using that, I’ll eventually go broke putting gas in it. I’ve gotten months of trouble free miles out of it, and my spider sense tells me it’s time to get a different car. I hope I chose correctly.     

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Summer Money

Tuesday May 31st, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   Here comes summer, and all that goes with it. To most, it’s a long awaited chance to get that boat out that’s been put away all winter and drown some worms on a lake somewhere far away from home. It’s also time to dust off the old grill and start torching big chunks of animal carcass over an open flame, just like the cavemen did. Summer is the time for fun.

  Unfortunately for me, summer also signals the start of the annual seasonal hibernation of the standup comedy business - at least in the rust belt. Wherever it snows, people wait for summer sun to come so they can jam pack all their outdoor activities into a few months.

   It’s very tricky to stay working during the summer, but I’ve always managed to be able to squeak out a living somehow. It’s getting tougher and tougher though, so I’m going to look for ways to supplement my income from now on. I’ve got work in June and a single week booked in Tucson in July - which will be like working on the surface of the sun.

   Yes, the hotel will be air conditioned and so will the club. I’m sure the airport will be as well and I’ll rent a car that has air conditioning too. Still, it will be a challenge to survive, dry heat or not. The people out there are used to it though, so the club won’t be affected.

   Summers in the north are completely different. Crowds are sparse, and those weeks are often when bookers either test out new acts or try existing acts in an elevated position on the bill. I got my first chances to headline in summer weeks, and I took advantage of it.

   In the old days, the Funny Business Agency out of Grand Rapids, MI used to even have a ‘summer money’ pay schedule for gigs in those months. It would be lower than the rest of the year, and you can imagine how it went over with most comedians. The joke always was “Well, I guess I’ll have to do my summer act with less jokes.” That’s just how it was.

   I can’t blame the people of the rust belt for wanting to be outside in summer. I grew up in Milwaukee, I can totally relate. I want to be outside too, but I also want to earn a living while I’m out there. Running a tilt-a-whirl is not my idea of planning for my golden years.

   The sun belt is used to the heat, and they continue to function no matter how hot it gets. It’s a lot like us, who drive through a foot of snow like it’s nothing and never let a winter storm stop us. Winter is the peak comedy time in the North, whereas a half an inch of the flakiest of snow will shut down every metro area south of Cincinnati for days at a time.

   Last year, cruise ships really bailed out my summer. I made some decent money and got a hell of an education doing it. This year, I have enough club work to tide me over for the summer and into fall, and if I’m smart I’ll use my down time to prepare products for sale.

   The DVD with James Wesley Jackson is really coming along well. I’m also planning to organize a tour with Don Reese, Dwight York and Dan Still that will be marketed in new ways to new customers. I’m also reworking my comedy classes. This is no summer off.

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