Thursday June 2nd, 2011 - Joliet, IL I’m finally starting to make my way up the pecking order on this cruel and unusual little planet. Miracle of miracles, I can proudly say I now own a car that was built in the decade in which I live. Well, sort of anyway. It’s under ten years old, and for me that’s a big deal. Look out, Leno. Stand back, Seinfeld. You’re not the only two comedians who have the market cornered on automotive extravagance. I’ll let you and everyone else know that I’m now cruising the highways and byways of America in a 2004 Chevy Cavalier. So there. Sure, it’s got a rebuilt title. Yes, I got it from a friend who’s a car dealer who originally got it for his sister who didn’t like it, but it’s got both a cassette AND a CD player so I’m now at an elite level of luxurious excess few others in my family tree have ever attained. Who am I kidding? What a loser I am, but it still feels good to land a reliable little alley cruiser at a thrifty price. I’ll take care of it like it’s the Batmobile, and hope it lasts longer than most of my other tin cans I fish out of the car auction like stray dogs out of a shelter. My friend Tom Orlando did me a big time favor and let me have this car for exactly the amount he has in it. I’ve known Tom since seventh grade and I believed him, but he still felt compelled to show me the receipts anyway. His sister was looking for a new vehicle, but she was used to driving a minivan apparently and that’s what she wanted in the end. Good news for me. Tom deals in leasing trucks and didn’t have a need for a little four door sedan so he offered it to me just to move it down the road. He wouldn’t buy a hunk o’ poo for his sister, and I knew he’d done his homework on this car so I had to buy it. It’s smart business in the long run. I wasn’t planning to spend any cash right now, and times are pretty tight and looking tighter for the summer. Still, even though this one cost more than most of my auction rats, it’ll be worth it in the long run. It should last a while. I’m not used to getting behind the wheel of a car and seeing under 100,000 miles on it, so that alone was refreshing. It’s got 93,573, for now. In my former road warrior days I’d have made it to 100K in about three weeks. Now, I’m hoping to lay low and stay local. I want to focus on working a lot more in my self designated ‘Squared circle of Uranus’ which includes Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison and Rockford and a 2004 Cavalier is way more efficient than a 1983 Cadillac Fleetwood, even though that Caddy is a smooth ride.
My standards are low, and I really enjoyed that car. I’ll enjoy this one too. I’m grateful. Tom did me a huge favor, and I totally appreciate it. He also cooked us up some killer steaks and told some hilarious stories of his days in radio, of which he’s a big time talent as well. He smartly got out of it, as he saw how ugly it is. He’s got talent in business too, so he made the right choice. Good for him. Friends like him are rare, and I couldn’t have more respect for the guy. He’s a winner. I’m a dung beetle trying to scrape out a living.
My standards are low, and I really enjoyed that car. I’ll enjoy this one too. I’m grateful. Tom did me a huge favor, and I totally appreciate it. He also cooked us up some killer steaks and told some hilarious stories of his days in radio, of which he’s a big time talent as well. He smartly got out of it, as he saw how ugly it is. He’s got talent in business too, so he made the right choice. Good for him. Friends like him are rare, and I couldn’t have more respect for the guy. He’s a winner. I’m a dung beetle trying to scrape out a living.
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