Being a hospital patient is like a full time job. I’m finding it very difficult to keep track of everything I have to do and everyone that I have to deal with on a daily basis. There are doctors telling me what I have and how they plan to get rid of it, nurses constantly putting me on different antibiotics and other people who just come in and check my vital signs.
Then there’s the Polish housekeeping lady who tells me her troubles while she mops up my bathroom. She’s missing a few teeth, but she’s a sweetie of a person who comes from a family of eight. She’s number five, and some in her family have diabetes. I don’t have a choice, so when she comes through I’ll just listen. I think it makes her feel appreciated.
There are also the people who bring my meals every day. They’re all super nice people too, but once in a while they’ll start a conversation when I don’t feel much like talking. It isn’t their fault, but I’ve got a lot on my mind and today one of them thought I was angry or something because I didn’t chat it up for ten minutes. I’d just been stuck with needles.
That’s a huge thing with me, and the more I hate it the more I get it. My veins aren’t up to snuff apparently, and everyone who has to draw blood tells me that. What the hell am I supposed to do, bring out some barbells and pump iron for a few hours to pop them out?
Both of my arms are black and blue, and I feel every little prick from needles that were administered by every little prick who does that for a job. What a horrible gig that has to be, but I guess someone has to do it. I do try my hardest to cooperate, but I fall far short.
Sleep is an afterthought. There’s always someone wanting me to do some kind of trick for them right about the time I’m starting to nod off. I need to have somebody check my sugar or give blood or pee in a cup or take a pill or put another I.V. in. It’s exhausting.
Still, I’m very lucky to be up here and have such top quality care. My room is gorgeous and apparently I’m in a brand new wing of the hospital that’s top notch on every level. I’ll forever be grateful for all the care I’ve received up here, even though I have no idea how I will ever pay for it all. I know I can’t worry about that now, but it does concern me a lot.
I know I’ll have to fill out some hardship papers and be in touch with people from every branch of the hospital who treated me - and that’s a lot. It’s all very overwhelming but if I dwell on it, I’ll be in a sad mood really fast. I can’t afford that now, I need to stay upbeat.
I’ve still got a surgery to get through. Then, after that, I have to educate myself on how to change my entire life and deal with my diabetes. I’m not the first one to have to do this but I sure wasn’t planning on it. Once again, life throws another unexpected curve ball.
Yes, there’s a ton of humor in all this, but there’s also a lot of angst as well. Will life as I know it ever get back to ‘normal’, and why is it me that has to go through this? All I’ve ever wanted was to make people laugh and spread some humor throughout life, not this.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I don't know what else to say. You're a gifted writer. I'm looking forward to reading more from you. You take care. I'm sending good vibes. xo
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