Auctions And Oddballs

Saturday November 1st, 2008 - Waukegan, IL/Burlington, IL

Fantastic day on many levels. It started with me being able to help someone and I never get sick of doing that - especially when it‘s appreciated. The manager of the Zanies out in St. Charles is a lady named Cyndi and everyone loves her. She treats comics like royalty.

She has a son Cody who is in high school and looking for a car so she asked if I’d mind taking them to the car auction in Waukegan so he might find a cheap tin can car. MIND? Is she crazy? I absolutely relish ANY excuse to take a lap at the auction and kick the tires on the latest batch of homeless oil burners. Being around that scenario really relaxes me.

I took them through the signing up process and then the three of us browsed the rows of vehicles for the auction. Cyndi has always been a great mom and I know it meant a lot for her to be there with her son. It meant a lot to Cody too as this was his first car. They both thanked me over and over again for helping and I told them over and over I didn’t mind.

It was a kick for me to see how excited they both were and to turn them on to the fun of the auction. There was a nice crowd today and it was busier than usual so there were a lot of things to look at all the time. From cars to people watching it made for a sensual rush.

Cody said he wanted an SUV and even though that’s not what I would have chosen who am I to tell him no? If that’s what he wanted that’s it. All I did was try to tell him some of the tricks I’ve learned over the years on how to spot a decent vehicle and he took it all in.

We hung out and watched several of the SUVs he liked go for a much higher price than was in his budget and I could tell he was disappointed but I told him to just hang in there because every one that sold meant the competition was lower for the next one coming up.

Eventually there was a Chevy Blazer that came up and was going for low bids and I saw his eyes light up as he jumped in on it. He won the auction at $600 and was jazzed but the owner had a reserve of $1400 and that’s quite the gap. They went to call for approval and Cody asked how high I thought he should go and I showed him how to figure it all out.

I laid out all of the hidden costs and asked him what his budget was and we calculated a price of $800. Of course the owner came back with $900 and Cody had an adult decision to make. I knew he wanted it and it was only $100 difference but still it was over budget.

He thought about it and politely said no thanks. I have to admit I don’t think I would’ve had the discipline to say that at his age and I was very impressed with his maturity. I had a lot of respect for him and I told him there would be a lot of other cars to buy in the future.

I was running late and had to leave but I got a call from Cyndi a few minutes later in my car and she said they had the auction guy call the owner again and offer $800 and he took it! I could tell how excited she was and I was too. Good for Cody. He made a smart deal. I was delighted to be able to help them if even a little. Now I hope the damn thing runs.

After the auction I drove up to Wisconsin to attend the Burlington Vortex Conference. I had been looking forward to this for weeks and it didn’t disappoint. This was my first dip into the pool of paranormal conventions and it was a blast. There were speakers on topics like UFO abductions and conspiracies and they were all really interesting. I loved it all.

I got to meet several guests we’ve had on previous Mothership Connection radio shows in person including the king of that realm Stanton Friedman. They were all very laid back and approachable and it was almost as big of a kick to meet Stanton Friedman as it was to meet other heroes like Rodney Dangerfield or George Clinton. I really admire his work.

A lot of interesting people were there including the editor of Fate magazine. She was an outstanding radio guest and I loaded up on back issues of her magazine. I also bought lots of books and DVDs from Stanton Friedman and another guy named Don Schmitt who has seen me a lot over the years open up for my friend Tom Green at his Elvis tribute shows.

Don said he knows George Noory very well and can help me get on that show if I want. If I want? YES I want. This is exactly the kind of thing that could help me finally find my cult following niche. There are several million listeners of Coast to Coast AM and a lot of them would find the King of Uranus hilarious. I think. This is the path I’m going to take.

All the projects I’m working on do have a giant master plan and it’s all a labor of love. I do still love to do comedy and I love to be on the radio too. I want to develop my Uranus idea too and all of them together can help promote each other. It’s still a ways off though.

I think there is a niche being the ‘paranormal comedian’. I am interested in all the topics we talk about on the Mothership Connection and I love Coast to Coast AM too. If I could get on that show as their representative comedian I bet I could cultivate a loyal following.

I talked with Stanton Friedman about the concept and he didn’t really understand where I was coming from until I told him the King of Uranus idea. His head snapped back and it took him a half second to get it and laugh out loud. I knew it clicked and that told me I’m on to something. If he gets it and should happen to endorse it I would get a lot of support.

Most of the speakers make their living with their self published books. There were a lot of tables with speakers signing various products and I need to come up with one if I am to crack this market. I could write humorous articles on paranormal topics and develop them into standup routines. That would be perfect for the King of Uranus. I know I can do this.

I made a ton of great contacts and shook hands and kissed babies as much as I could. In the future I’d love to be doing these kinds of things myself. I could be entertaining and if I do it right have a whole genre of fans that nobody is serving right now. I would love that.

After the conference I went to see Jerry Agar for a while. We had a pizza and went over some ideas of how he can get back on his feet and then we attended a football game at his son Tanner’s high school. It was the varsity and they won 47-0. This was a very fun day.