Saturday Night Trevor

Saturday November 8th, 2008 - Trevor, WI/Lake Villa, IL

It’s hard to explain but I feel like I’m seeing things crystal clearly as of late. I have a big picture scenario in my mind at all times and everything I am doing is leading to that place and I feel like I’m on the right path. Uranus Factory Outlet will be the center of my world and everything else leads to it. Comedy shows, classes and radio all go through Uranus.

I took some time today to visualize where I want to go with all this and who exactly I’m looking to associate with on the way there. I have a big cork bulletin board on my wall for making a battle plan and I cleared it all off in preparation to put a plan in place for 2009.

I’m going to divide the board into quarters and put together individual plans for each of my most important projects for the year. One is Uranus Factory Outlet. Another is classes. A third is the Mothership Connection radio show and the fourth is my career as a comic.

All four of these things have different people involved and require care and nurturing to grow. Sometimes I tend to wander and get lost or scattered but I won’t if I take time to do my daily due diligence for each project. The main thing is organizing all of my associates. I may be the King of Uranus but there are a lot more people than me that will be part of it.

I made a list of the top 5, 10 and 50 people that I have in place right now for each of the four projects and that should change as the year goes on. I will constantly be making more contacts and some people will drop off and other new ones will join on and that’s what is so much fun about all this. I want to find people who want to achieve something special.

I might be the leader but it’s the team concept that’s going to make this my life’s work and something to remember. There’s no way I can do it all myself and I don’t claim to be able to do that. I want to be like George Clinton and be the lightning rod for a big group’s creativity and like George I want to be the one all the others look to for creative energy.

When I’m doing things like this I’m never depressed. I haven’t had a bout with the dark monster for a while and I’m sure he’s going to make a return visit as he always does but if I can stay busy with this kind of creative vibe I don’t think he’ll stay very long. I’ll beat it. This is the place I need to remember next time the darkness comes and get over the hump.

I usually get depressed around the holidays and I hope I can avoid that this year. I wrote an email to my brother Bruce today asking to meet up with my other siblings Tammy and Larry and him too. For whatever reason none of them are talking to me and I don’t want it to last forever. I said I was sorry for whatever I did and I really am. I want to make peace.

Maybe we won’t ever be close or like a real family but if we could all just meet up for a chance to let the healing begin that would be the greatest Christmas I’ve ever had. I would be ecstatic to hear from them and go with a spirit of peace and healing and try to make the rest of our time here as pleasant as possible. I don’t know if I’ll hear back from any of the three because last time I wrote them letters they all ignored me. But I did try again today.

If they don’t respond this time either I guess it’s their loss. I am happy with where I am headed and have come amazingly far from where I started. It’s a true miracle to be where I am now considering how stacked the deck was against me from birth. I’m a long shot.

If indeed we’re here for a reason and the reason is to learn something or work out some issues from a past life if indeed that whole thing is true I’ve really made a lot of progress in my time here. I’ve grown by leaps and bounds and had to overcome some nasty odds to achieve minimal success but I sure did put forth major effort to get it. I earned my keep.

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if I died soon. It wouldn’t bother me either. Having no real family or roots is not my idea of fun and whatever choices and mistakes I made to put me in this position are done. All I can do now is try to undo what I can and writing that email was all I can do right now. I hope they are all in a good space and we can move past it all.

The whole issue of a wife and kids is over with me too. I don’t think it was meant to be for me in this particular plane of existence and I have to accept that. Getting it now won’t suddenly make up for a lifetime of feeling left out. I don’t think it’s in the cards for me.

What is in the cards right now is total gratitude for what I do have. I am in a wonderful groove creatively and that’s where I will draw my energy as long as I can. My family is a sore spot that may or may not heal but my creative side is where I go to feel like I belong.

I had one of the hottest gigs I’ve had in a long time tonight in Trevor, WI of all places. I didn’t expect much going in other than a chance to hang out with a few comics and chow down on some of the delicious pizza after the show. The joint is called Michael’s Pub and I’ve worked there a couple of times before. It’s exactly 6.5 miles from home. I love that.

How many times have I driven 650 miles or more to do a hellish one nighter for next to no money and either drive back all night or stay in a fleabag and contemplate suicide for a few hours and then make the long drive home? Tonight I had a 13 mile total round trip.

Except for the smoking laws in Wisconsin everything about this gig was outstanding. If I could find audiences like this every night and be in the groove I was in I’d be a superstar of world class proportions. I was on tonight and the audience loved it and we all had fun.

Jeff Lampton from Milwaukee was the opener and Mike Preston was the feature and the both of them did very well. For this particular audience these were two good matches and I went up and started riffing as soon as I got on. I did some of my bits but I switched them as much as I could to test my abilities and see how far the audience would let me stretch.

I felt like I had them right away so I went off on tangents and tried to be in the moment as much as I could and it worked out extremely well. I got off on a big applause break but didn’t do my usual closer. I didn’t need to. They had had enough. Then all the comics and I had some pizza and hung out for a while and made each other laugh. This was super fun and it didn’t matter if it was L.A. or New York or Trevor, WI. Fun is fun and this was it.