Dawn To Desk

Monday November 10th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Back on the good foot. Slump over. I had a feeling yesterday was a fluke and it was. I’m very experienced when it comes to prolonged depression related funks but this wasn’t one of those. If I never get one of those again I think I can survive just fine and I’d like to try.

Today went well from the start. I forced myself to crawl out of the rack and at least start doing SOMETHING to work through whatever slump I was in yesterday. I looked around for the best one day job to start that would do me the most good. I decided to clean off all the papers strewn on my desk and regroup. I scrubbed it feverishly and removed the dust.

I’m finding an organized desk is a huge asset. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it should at least allow me to know where my most important business papers are like checks to be cashed, bills to be paid, my calendar of open dates, class paperwork and financial records.

It wouldn’t hurt to have a complete list of contact numbers and emails either. All of that stuff is kind of in the same general area but I never know exactly where especially at most of the crucial times when I really need it. Today I made a step to make a place for all of it.

I also forced myself to lay out my big cork board on the wall with my top contact people for 2009 in four areas - Uranus Factory Outlet, comedy, comedy classes and radio as well. That was the best thing I did all day by far and it sure showed me how far I’ve got to go.

Finding the top ten people for each of those projects was not as easy as it sounds. I want to not only find the best people I want to find the best mix of people who are diverse and can help me get what I want depending on the project. I thought it through on all counts.

I now have a plan in place for the new year to at least look at my board and focus a little bit on each project every day and that’s already putting me ahead of the game. I should’ve done this years ago and I don’t have an answer why I didn’t. I’m doing it now though so it doesn’t matter. I put more organization into my life today than I have in a long long time.

Today would have been my father’s 71st birthday. I might not have even remembered it if it weren’t for it being the same day as the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. There was a news story on it and I immediately remembered it was the old man’s birthday. Who cares about it now? I surely don’t. He’s dead now and the longer he’s dead the less I miss him.

It’s funny how his memory is just fading away now. He’s less and less of a factor in my life now because he never was one before. Not a good one anyway. What did it all mean? I have no clue. We never spent time together and there are ZERO pictures of us together.

I used to wish him a painful torturous eternity in hell for all the pain he caused all of us. Now I wouldn’t even walk across the street to piss on his ashes. He’s dead and never did anything exciting or worthwhile for himself or his family. I don’t want to be like that and I will spend the rest of whatever time I have trying to NOT be like him. I’m doing well.