Sunday March 20th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI I feel like I’m drifting again. Damn. How does that happen? One minute I feel I have life and its complex mysteries figured out and everything is going smoothly. The next I’m in a funk trying to locate the exact spot it all came off the rails. Right now, clues are scarce. I thought I was on a straight and steady path for a while there, and I totally was. I was in an upbeat mindset and ready for adventure. After this past weekend, I feel like I’ve wasted my entire life and want to donate my organs to someone who can use them and check out. There’s a fine line between being productively busy and completely overwhelmed. I may have accidentally tiptoed over it, and that’s why I’m feeling the way I am. I’m not exactly sure which side of that line I’m on right now. Big dreams are great, but we all have limits. My main problem is even though I’m getting better all the time, I’m still not up to where I need to be when it comes to both organizational skills and focus. I bounce back and forth between projects and as situations arise to occupy my time and attention, I get distracted. There’s a real trick to delegating tasks, and I haven’t mastered it yet. Up until recently, I wasn’t able to do it at all, so there is significant improvement. I’m in the middle of giving a test run to several people to see what comes back. I know everyone is different, so it’s my responsibility to make sure I communicate what I expect and see if the others can deliver. I’m sure I’ll be happy with some, disappointed with others and surprised either way with surprises I didn’t expect. I chose a wide variety of people to ask for help, and have gotten a wide variety of responses in return. It takes time to get everything into place, and it feels like everything is all over the place. That’s where I am now, and it feels like I’m drifting. One of the projects that’s really a crapshoot is the Mothership Connection radio show in Kenosha, WI on AM 1050 WLIP. It’s been on over three years now, and even though I’ve had to keep changing co-hosts the show is sounding better than ever - no thanks to me. The current crew is really doing the job, and I’m delighted. All of them started either by being guests or in my friend Shelley Maas Hernandez’s case, just coming out to watch the show and see how it worked. She had so much fun I offered her a free pass to come back anytime she wanted. She did, and now she’s a co-host and runs the show when I’m gone. She does a more than satisfactory job, and sounds great along with both Greg DeGuire and my comedian friend Gary Pansch. Greg is a true expert on several paranormal topics, and adds a level of credibility even I don’t have. Gary adds to the mix too, and we have an absolute blast on the air together. I keep things loose, but they don’t need me to be there. They do fine, and Shelley is great at lining up guests every week. That’s something I had no desire to do, but was a necessary part of the job. It’s running smoothly now, but the big issue is how can we turn a buck? Fun is fun, but I don’t have time to keep investing in this.
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