Semi-Pro Stinks

Sunday March 9th, 2008 - Kenosha, WI

Will Ferrell owes me six bucks. That or the hour and a half of my life I wasted sitting in the theatre waiting for his movie ‘Semi-Pro’ to get better. It didn’t. I feel cheated. If that’s what it takes to be successful than I’m never going to do it. What a flaming slice of poo.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in touch with the public on what is considered funny. When I was a kid it was Welcome Back, Kotter. Everyone in school thought that was a hilarious show and try as I might I just never got it. I still don’t. The same went for Adam Sandler’s movies as I got older. Or Martin Lawrence. Now it’s Will Ferrell. I don’t find him funny.

But what do I know? I only am in the comedy business and make my living by getting a live audience to laugh out loud. If I don’t get laughs I don’t get booked back. I’ve been in the business my entire adult life so I must be doing something right but it still kicks me in the shorts how all these moronic products can be branded as comedy and idiots buy it up.

I don’t even consider myself to be that smart but this movie insulted my intelligence for ninety minutes. I tried to see where they were coming from and I have to admit I’m pretty much stumped. I wanted to like it too. I grew up in the ‘70s and remember the ABA and I was hoping it would be at least a little nostalgic. The only ‘n’ word I felt was nauseated.

Other than that it was a pretty good day. The reason I went to see the movie in the first place was because I was in a good mood from doing our second installment of our weirdo based talk show ‘The Mothership Connection’ on WLIP in Kenosha, WI. Again it wasn’t a new page in radio history but we pulled off another two hour show and we got better.

We had both our first caller and our first guest so that was a plus. The caller was at least sane and wanted to know ‘what the hell kind of a show is this?’ That’s a legitimate query and we answered the best we could. Then our guest was Tim Allen who lives in Kenosha and used to be my boss at one time. He’s got some interesting stories of psychic nature.

He was very entertaining and we got practice interviewing both a guest and a caller so it was a thumbs up all around. Plus we also did some show prep this week and had a couple of articles to talk over. We didn’t embarrass ourselves and it was better than last week.

I felt pretty good coming out of the radio station and that’s why I went to see the movie. I haven’t been to a theatre in months and months and now I see why. If this is what passes as entertainment I have a new career as a screenwriter. I can write funnier stuff than that.

But what about my own script? I’ve been letting it rot because I’m doing ‘other stuff’. If I had a script done I could start shopping it but I don’t so who’s the idiot now? I guess I’ll have to actually finish something of my own before I can criticize Will Ferrell’s movies.

This was a good motivator to get back to work on my script. I know I’ll have to make a serious effort to do it but it will be totally worth it. I don’t think the bar is set all that high.