Friday March 23rd, 2012 – Wausau, WI
Whether I like it or not, I’m starting my life completely over. Again. I’m not anything but tired, but that’s the position I’m in. I’ve been here so many times before I’ve lost count. I’m not afraid. I’m not angry. I’m not out to make any statements or prove anyone wrong. All I’m looking to do is make a peaceful, honest and decent living and bring as much joy to as many others as possible.
One would think that’s a noble cause, and the world would open up and let me follow my inner vision to the benefit of all parties. I would win because I’d be using my gifts for their most good. The people on the receiving end would win too, because they’d be able to lighten up and laugh.
Too bad our world doesn’t seem to work that way. Most of us have to claw, scratch and gouge out a living no matter what we do and that uses up a lot of time and energy that could be spent on doing the actual job itself. Having to worry about keeping the bills paid is not productive energy.
But alas, millions of us in America and dare I say billions worldwide are stuck in this muck of having to try to carve out a living without an ounce of help from anyone. It’s damn hard, and I’m not seeing it getting any easier any time soon. The world plays rough, and there are no tag backs.
These last nine months have been a major kick in the ass, both bad and good. It was very good in that it caused me to completely change the way I take care of myself physically. I’m feeling as good as I’ve ever felt, and I totally needed that kick. The not so good result was that it caused me to miss several months of work and drained every nickel of savings I had. It has wiped me out.
That’s part of the risk of being self employed, and I know I’m not the only one that has faced a dire situation like this. It could have been a lot worse, and I know it. At least I didn’t have to put a wife and kids through this, and I know families all over the world are living through some hell.
I’m a one man band out there in a world that really doesn’t want to hear any music, at least not from me. There are billions more faceless life forms just like me breathing up air and drinking up water for however long we can survive, and then a whole new crop rises up and redoes it all over again. There doesn’t seem to be much improvement on the last batch, but that’s how it plays out.
That being said, I sat down this morning and made up an attachment with a list of my available dates, and sent them to as many comedy bookers as I could find. I sent them to anyone anywhere I could think of that might have the potential of hiring me to do a live comedy show in the future.
I’m sure some will answer. Others won’t. Some will book me. Others will not. I don’t take any of it personally, and won’t waste my time anymore with those who don’t choose to use me. I am in a spot I hadn’t planned on being in this late in the game, so clear thinking is a must right now.
Tonight I had a gig in Wausau, WI in a hotel lounge. It was a few bucks I can totally use right now, but not a career maker by any means. I have to make that career happen myself, or at least make an attempt. It’s not that easy, as life often has other plans. Let’s see how this all plays out.
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